17 Signs A Guy Is Unhappy In His Relationship

Emotional Stress | | , Copywriter & Writer
Updated On: February 5, 2024
signs your ex is unhappy in new relationship

Every girl, at some point in her life, has asked herself or wondered if her boyfriend wants to end their relationship. But the tell-tale signs aren’t always simple to figure out. We are here to solve your dilemma with these 17 signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship.

Maybe you two have been in a rough patch for a while because of all the fights. Or maybe you’ve noticed he spends way too much time on his phone but never any time talking to you. Whatever it might be, our list will tell you whether it’s time to call it quits for the best or if you and your partner need not worry too much. It won’t be easy, but we must get started right away.

17 Signs A Guy Is Unhappy In His Relationship

Jason had been acting strangely for a few weeks but he insisted everything was okay. Amanda got tired of asking eventually, but the anxiety ate away at her. “He won’t talk to me properly or reply to my texts. I can’t remember the last time we went out. Is this what two years of our relationship has come to?”

When she couldn’t take it anymore, she confronted Jason angrily. After a huge fight, he said he wanted to break up. Moreover, he blamed Amanda for not reading the signs. “Which signs??” she asked.

We don’t want anyone to be in her shoes. The uneasiness that you’ve been feeling is probably valid; it is time to check whether your man is secretly unhappy in his relationship. Is he showing signs that he is not satisfied? Did you secretly read his text to his best friend saying, “I’m not happy in my relationship but I love her”? If that’s the case, you must be very distressed. Scroll down for all the answers you need:

1. He has stopped taking care of himself

Unkempt beard, messy hair, wrinkled clothes and a decreasing frequency of showers? These spells trouble in paradise. This is one of the most unnoticed signs that a guy is unhappy in his relationship. Perhaps this is also one of those “in a relationship but not happy with myself” situations. It is possible that he’s had low self-esteem for a while and it might be time to check in on him.

He just does not want to look presentable for his partner (aka you) and has really let himself go. Effort in a relationship is very important to keep it going but he has completely stopped making any. You’ve gotten tired of telling him to get his act together, but the socks are still smelly and the jeans unwashed.

You’re not wrong when you think, “My boyfriend is unhappy with his life.” Maybe he’s confused about whether your relationship is worth saving. Maybe’s he’s become extremely complacent in the relationship and is taking you for granted. This sign is one you should not ignore.

2. He’s simply not putting in any effort

Remember those days when you both used to go for candle-lit dinners? He used to get you flowers and text cheesy lines during the day. Valentine’s celebrations, birthday surprises, Christmas gifts and so much more. Well…all that is gone now and the effort in a relationship that he should be putting is nowhere to be seen.

There’s no romance left anymore and how much can you do alone? He won’t do the bare minimum to keep the spark alive. Romance is a thing of the past, and he won’t even treat you like his girlfriend. Maybe he’s tired of this relationship because not putting in any effort is a sign of a man who is secretly unhappy.

Related Reading: 13 Sure-Shot Signs He Pretends To Love You

3. He has a whole new life – signs a man is unhappy in his relationship

Who are these new people he hangs out with? Which places do they go to? It’s almost like you don’t know anything about his life. No wonder you think he is unhappy in this relationship. He’s become a stranger to you and doesn’t share anything with you anymore.

He’s constantly doing new things and going to places you haven’t heard of. These friends get to see more of him than you do. You’re 100% out of touch with him (and vice versa). It looks like you both lead parallel lives…

Even though he may seem like he is very happy and doing well in life, it is still one of the signs a man is unhappy in his relationship. I understand that letting go of someone even if they don’t love you is hard, but maybe it’s time to rethink a few things. Holding on to a relationship that has reached its natural end is not advisable.

4. He’s glued to his phone all the time

This is the absolute worst. My sister faced this problem a few years ago when her fiancée was on his phone 24/7. Literally could not stop staring at it. Constantly distracted, shooting texts rapidly and not listening to a word she said. The relationship ended a few weeks later because he was not ready for commitment.

The obsession with his phone was just something that kept him going. Another troubling sign is new passwords on the lock screen or individual apps. Maybe he’s got a fingerprint lock only he can open. What is he trying to hide? This is hands down one of the top signs of someone who is unhappy in a relationship.

signs a man is secretly unhappy
Why won’t his eyes leave the screen?

5. He just won’t talk to you

Countless studies have emphasized the importance of good communication in a relationship. It is vital for building intimacy and trust. But your man just won’t talk to you. You’ve asked him if something is wrong far too many times. But there’s radio silence from his end.

If he brushes off your conversation starters and gives you the cold shoulder when you try to initiate something, he could be done with the relationship. Because how does he expect things to get better without sitting down and talking about your issues?

6. He snaps at the littlest things

What makes a man unhappy in a relationship? Lately, it seems like it’s been everything. The smallest thing you do seems to annoy him and makes him snap at you. You really need to recalibrate things if he’s turning hostile toward you. Does he get irked by the littlest things? Does his voice hitches up a notch and his face contorts with anger? Or maybe his jaw clenches.

But more importantly, is this anger directed only toward you? He’s peachy with everyone else but loses his patience when it comes to you. It’s like he’s not even trying. I’m sure that his behavior leads you to ask yourself, “Is he unhappy with me?” I’m sorry but these sudden outbursts of anger are signs a guy is unhappy in his relationship.

Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Man Has Anger Issues

7. He doesn’t need your opinion anymore

Not being valued or respected in a relationship is very harmful to our self-esteem. Toward the end of one of my relationships, my confidence took a hit because he would dismiss my opinions or just not seek them in the first place. It felt like I was not important anymore.

All of these were signs of disrespect, and I decided I wanted no part of them. He made decisions by himself and I was never in the loop. Feeling left out, or being a spectator to his life just took a toll on me. This was one of the definite signs of an unhappy person. Do you relate to this?

8. There’s no intimacy from his end

Physical intimacy is more important than we might think because it ultimately reinforces emotional intimacy. Sex promotes individual well-being and strengthens the bond between partners. A lack of physical intimacy – sex, cuddles, hugging or hand-holding – from his end is worrisome. Maybe you’ve tried to shake things up but he still remains aloof. This physical distance just makes the emotional one worse.

But we at Bonobology offer counseling that might bridge the distance between the both of you. Trust us to revive your relationship and figure out what makes a man miserable in order to resolve the problems in your relationship. Placing faith in counseling has always been a good idea.

Is he unhappy?
He’s so distant from you…

9. He criticizes you all the time

“Why are you wearing your hair that way?” “Stop talking on the phone so loudly” “Can’t you just listen to me?” It feels like you can do nothing right and there is no way to understand what makes a man miserable in this case. But he is just constantly upset with you all the time without a good reason.

All the signs suggest he is not satisfied, and you are tired of trying. If you’re doing everything he likes, why is he unhappy in this relationship? It feels like you’re constantly under a microscope. Your man might be picking away at you because he’s frustrated.

This bottled-up resentment is getting to him, and in reality, he is tired of this relationship. Or he thinks he’s too good for you. What makes a man unhappy in a relationship? It might not be your fault but actually his own. Are you dating someone with a god complex?

10. Signs a man is unhappy in his relationship – he’s always too busy for you

When it isn’t work, it’s the gym, and when it isn’t the gym, it’s a guys’ night. He just never has time for you. If you confront him, he might just cite “work stress”. He says things have been very hectic lately. But we know better…

There’s a possibility that he is trying to avoid spending time with you while you keep thinking, “My boyfriend is unhappy with his life.” I urge you to take a closer look at what’s really keeping him busy. Are those things truly unavoidable? Or does he want to keep himself engaged?

Related Reading: 9 Signs Its Time For Taking A Break In A Relationship

11. He’s emotionally distant like never before

This is definitely one of the ‘in a relationship but not happy with myself’ situations. If he could just voice his emotions, these problems would just disappear. You feel like shaking him by the shoulders to break his silence. He displays all the signs of someone who is unhappy in a relationship, but he keeps totally mum!

He is going through something internally that is bigger than you or this relationship. You’ve tried to get him to open up but he refuses to let you in. His emotional turmoil is evident, but you don’t know the specifics. You both used to be the couple who had deep conversations full of honesty but look where things are now.

Does he pause for a while before saying “I love you too”? Or has he stopped using endearments like babe or honey? These are clear signs that he is not satisfied. So close and yet so far… Is he done with the relationship? Don’t ignore such signs a man is unhappy in his relationship.

12. He’s texting other girls

The most obvious sign a guy is unhappy in his relationship. His inbox is full of seemingly innocent conversations with (single) girls, but in reality, they’re a cause for concern. If you confront him, he will probably reassure you that there’s nothing going on.

But midnight texts that are borderline flirty are certainly something that prompts you to ask, “Is he unhappy with me?” Men can give the most ridiculous excuses for cheating. You ought to act fast before you get cheated on. Talk to him and lay it out in the open, or end the relationship on your terms.

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13. He never notices you

That sexy dress he used to love goes unnoticed these days. The compliments have stopped coming in, and it’s almost like you’re invisible. What more can you possibly do to get him to notice your presence? Absolutely nothing works.

You’ve been feeling lonely like you’re the only one in this relationship. His absent-mindedness and disregard for you are signs of an unhappy person who is tired of this relationship. This one-sided love is not sustainable, and I would advise you to take action ASAP.

14. He says he ‘wants space’

The dreaded ‘S’ word. I can practically hear the alarm bells going off in your head when he says he needs space. Wanting to keep a distance between him and you is a sure-shot sign your guy is unhappy in this relationship. However, there are many reasons a man might want space – it is just that the most plausible one is this.

I’m ready to consider that his problems might be entirely different, but in that case, why is he keeping them to himself? Wanting space comes a step before wanting a break and then, ultimately, wanting a breakup.

Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend

15. He won’t compromise under any situation

He ALWAYS has to have it his way. A relationship requires compromise for balance, but he is just not interested in taking your say into consideration. There’s a high chance he gets cranky if you don’t do things the way he likes. This is deeply unfair to you but you go along with it to make him happy. Being ignored by our loved ones is hard but you still do it.

I’m here to tell you that this won’t go on for long. Not listening to your partner or compromising are signs someone is unhappy in a relationship. And a relationship is built by the efforts of two people. For how long will you be the only one keeping it together?

signs of an unhappy person
He’s frustrated all the time

16. He wants you to leave him alone

Does your man perceive your inputs as interference or nagging? Even if you’re trying to be helpful, he wants you to go away and leave him alone. You’re sick and tired of being misunderstood. But this is not your fault…he is the one showing signs of unhappiness. A significant portion of this problem could be internal. However, it does call for a review of your relationship.

Don’t be disheartened. He might be thinking, “I’m not happy in my relationship but I love her”, because he still cares for you. Maybe you two have just been growing apart lately and that’s what is making him act differently around you. Instead of constantly spending all your energy figuring out what makes a man miserable, just give him his space and allow him to think alone.

17. The ultimate sign a guy is unhappy in his relationship – He avoids difficult conversations

This one has to be a big red flag. No one enjoys having tough conversations but they are necessary for resolving relationship problems. You should start worrying if your man refuses to talk things through. Difficult conversations are the route to honesty and trust; no relationship can survive without them. Conflict resolution is super important.

What makes a man unhappy in a relationship and what are the signs he is unhappy with you? We hope that this list gave you a good insight into why your partner seems to be unhappy these days. We also hope you both can work things through. That it is merely a temporary rough patch. But always remember that everything will be for the best, even if you call it quits. You’re always welcome to come back to Bonobology for more support and help.

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