Often, in our desperate desire to love someone and be loved by them, we tend to overlook their red flags. When certain men find their selfish purpose in a relationship, they pretend to love their girlfriends just so that they can use them for their benefit. But how do you really know if he’s pretending to love you? He’s not exactly going to walk around carrying a placard. Well, we’ve done some research and rounded up some signs to look out for.
How Do You Know If A Guy Is Pretending To Love You?
Knowing if your boyfriend is showing signs he pretends to love you is not all that difficult. Someone who doesn’t care about you will unintentionally make it evident that he is only pretending. You may find your boyfriend to be emotionally distant, careless and simply not bothered about you. These are some of the first signs he is pretending to love you. Wondering what are some sure-shot signs he’s faking his love for you? Keep reading!
1) Your relationship is hidden from all
There are men who are shy and avoid opening up in front of other people. But in most cases, this shyness does not apply to their girlfriends. A man in love will proudly tell the world (or at least his close friends) that he is in love with an incredible woman.
If your man is hiding your relationship from everybody, especially to the extent that he pretends to be just friends with you in front of his best buddies as well, then that is one of the clearest signs he’s faking his love for you.
2) He avoids discussing the future with you
Let’s take two men for this sign: Joy and Kevin. Joy is in a relationship with a woman, but they are not that far in to be discussing their future. Nonetheless, Joy avoids discussing his other future plans regarding his work and life in general as well.
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On the other hand, Kevin is two years into the relationship with his girlfriend. He shares everything about his work and life with her, but when she brings up their future, he immediately changes the topic.
Who, out of these two, is showing signs he never loved you? The answer is: both. If a man avoids any kind of future discussion with you, it means that he doesn’t see you in his life in the long term, and you really should take it as one of the signs he is faking his love for you.
3) Physical intimacy seems to be his only priority
An acquaintance of mine, Natasha, has a wonderful sex life. Her man really satisfies her. But when it comes to spending time together after sex, he suddenly has urgent work to attend to. The man practically disappears when it’s “that” time of the month.
You already know what we mean if you relate to this. One of the biggest signs he’s not in love with you is that he doesn’t bother to emotionally connect with you. Physical intimacy comes easy to him but after that, he is always emotionally distant.
4) Date nights don’t exist in his dictionary
Getting all dressed up and going on dates? Signs he pretends to love you clearly state that your man would never do that.
Going on a date means going out of the way to make you feel like he really loves you and wants to make you feel like a princess, and well, someone who is showing signs he is not in love with you will most certainly never do that. So, if he suddenly remembers a work meeting or a phone call to his mother every time you suggest a date, girl, he’s a fake.
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5) He makes you feel like you are a burden to him
Charlotte and Henry have been together for almost a year now, but with every passing day, Charlotte feels like she is a burden on Henry. Whatever Charlotte suggests, Henry finds a way to make her feel like it’s a burden to even talk to her. Would you consider that as one of the signs he is faking his love?
No matter the duration of your relationship, if at any given point in time your boyfriend makes you feel like you’re a pain to deal with and a big burden to carry, take it as one of the major signs he never loved you to begin with and run in the other direction cos girl, you’re in a fake relationship!
6) His relationship is only based on taking – not giving
From money to emotional dependency to physical intimacy, you feel like your boyfriend keeps taking things from you, but never bothers to return the favor. It could be seemingly tiny favors such as it’s always you cooking him dinner or getting the groceries. Yes, that is one of the signs he is not in love with you.
Men, no matter how selfish they appear to be, always have a soft corner for the ones they love and are always willing to give them the moon and the stars. This lack of giving in a relationship can be considered one of the direct signs he never loved you.
7) He is never there for you when you need him
You’re sick, you’ve had a bad day at work and you could use some pampering. Oh wait, he’s never there. How is it possible that anytime anything goes down with you, whether you are struggling or feeling low, he is just never there? What would you call that, if not signs he’s faking his love for you?
Most boyfriends cannot stand to see their girlfriends feeling low. They would rush to make their partner feel better in any way that they can. If your man does not even pick up your calls when you need him, take it as a relationship red flag and leave him.
8) Your friends don’t seem to really like him
Your love for your boyfriend might make you blind to his flaws, but your friends have their eyes wide open and observe all the signs he doesn’t miss you or love you in any way.
It is understandable that you would want to give your relationship a chance despite the apprehensions of your close ones, but if they have been warning you a lot and you can’t find any reason to argue back, that is one of the signs he is faking his love for you and you need to realize it.
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9) He has expertise in gaslighting you
Is he late? It’s your fault. Did you guys fight? It’s your fault. Did he make you feel worthless? Yep, it is still your fault. Gaslighting is an area of expertise for boyfriends with signs he pretends to love you.
Take Joey for instance. No matter what happens with his girlfriend, he always manages to make it her fault. Towards the end, his girlfriend was left with no self-esteem and cursed herself for not seeing the red flags. If you understand Joey’s girlfriend to your very core, start seeing the gaslighting signs he doesn’t love you and leave your man. There will always be gaslighting phrases he’s throwing at you, and you’ll hopefully notice them sooner rather than later.
10) He doesn’t care about your growth or development
Motivating, encouraging and pushing your limits is a big boyfriend responsibility. A man who loves you would always want to see you succeed, and he will make sure that he stands by you rock solid in your personal and professional development.
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One of the biggest signs he never loved you is when you never felt encouragement or motivation from his end. He never seemed to care about your growth and never even bothered to ask you about your goals and dreams. Girl, this is not the man you need in your life.
11) He never bothers to make you feel special
Let’s say you are in a long-distance relationship and because of your busy schedules, you are unable to talk as much as you used to. However, if your man really misses you, what would he do?
Well, he would make you feel special! He will send gifts and surprises. He will also take time out to call you no matter how busy he is. Is your boyfriend not doing that? Then it’s one of the crucial signs he doesn’t miss you and is probably planning to break up with you.
12) He is never open in his communication
The key to any relationship, especially long-distance relationships, is communication. Talking openly about what both of you feel, what is bothering the two of you, and how you can sort it out.
However, if your man is showing signs he doesn’t miss you, then how are you even going to communicate with him? If your boyfriend is not open in his communication and doesn’t care about what you are feeling, then there can be no bigger sign he is faking his love for you. Communication problems are common in many relationships, but when love is real, there is effort to make it work.
13) Your gut is telling you that he is only pretending
No matter how many pointers you read on signs he is pretending to love you, you are not going to believe them if your gut doesn’t tell you that he is. The fact that you made it to the end of this article proves that your gut is telling you all these are signs he is not in love with you and you need to listen to it.
It may seem like a difficult task to break up with someone. But it is always better to stay single than be with someone who keeps showing signs he never loved you. If breaking up is too hard, take the help of a friend or a professional, but get yourself out of it before he breaks your heart.
It is honestly heartbreaking to read such pointers and find out that your boyfriend matches most of the signs he never loved you to begin with. It may seem like the end of the world and you may question yourself and your worth, but you really should not.
If someone cannot see your worth, that is their loss. Pick yourself up, straighten your crown and be the queen that you are. Don’t let any man who keeps showing signs he pretends to love you, play with you. Realize your worth and take control of the situation. You got this!