Women are gifted with the sixth sense. They can always sense when something is wrong or fishy, and they are never (or rarely) wrong. It holds true even when it comes to their spouses cheating on them. Even if a man is using good excuses to leave the house to cheat or spend time with the other woman in his life, they can sense that something is off.
So, if you are suspicious about your husband’s or partner’s activities, pay heed to the gut. To be sure, you can keep an eye out for some of the common excuses to cheat that your husband may be using. Is your husband always ready with an excuse to leave the house and stay out late?
Does he have to suddenly stay over for late-night client meetings? Has he started traveling for work, which was not part of his portfolio before? Is he spending more time grooming himself? Does he guard his phone like a million-dollar cheque?
Then these fit the bill of a cheating husband. It’s only a matter of time before you see the signs of cheating, and the excuses he comes up with will be repetitive.
How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?
Perhaps one of the most tragic misconceptions about cheating is that people stray because they fall out of love with their partners. It is not true. Most people don’t go out actively looking for someone to cheat with. Affairs don’t necessarily happen because something is wrong with a marriage.
According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 22% of men admit that they’ve cheated on their significant other at least once during their marriage. The Journal of Sex Research reported that men are more likely to cheat after 11 years of marriage. Well, it doesn’t guarantee that he’s not going to cheat before that.
About 55% of married Indians have been unfaithful to their partner at least once, of which 56% are women, according to a survey by Gleeden, India’s first extramarital dating app. According to Live Mint, Bengaluru ranked number one in infidelity cases.
According to Deccan Herald, ‘In general, male users look for women between 24 and 30, while women prefer older partners between 31 and 40. The men are “open to everything” and mostly look for “anything exciting”, while women are more cautious and mostly prefer “virtual” exchange’.
Men have a different approach to sex than women and are mostly never sexually satisfied with just one person. Cheating gives them a way out of boredom that a marriage normally falls into, as time passes. An affair brings excitement and thrill, they suddenly feel new and young!
It is the idea of mixing sex with the danger of getting caught that they love. The thrill of making excuses to get out of the house to meet your love gives them a heady rush. Wedding vows somehow slip into the background, so high is the desire to seek sexual satisfaction.
Related Reading: Confession Of Five Women Who Say, “My Husband Cheated But I Feel Guilty“
Warning Signs Of A Husband Making Excuses To Cheat
How do you get someone to tell the truth about cheating? You cannot! Generally, people do not accept something like cheating unless they are caught or forced to. Affairs come and go, cheaters cheat. So you will need to be smart if you want him to admit that he is cheating on you.
If something about this behavior doesn’t add you, stay vigilant about any excuses to cheat that he may be using. Even if he has good alibis for cheating, you can still find holes in his stories that can make the whole charade crumble like a house of cards. All you need to do is be receptive to your surroundings. Sometimes, something as innocuous as an SMS can reveal an affair!
First and foremost, he must not know that you are onto him. This will only make him more careful about covering his tracks. So, if he makes even the lamest excuses to leave the house for a few minutes in order to catch up with his lover, let him. Silently observing and playing the ignorant wife is what will help you catch him red-handed. Here are some signs to look out for when it comes to a cheating husband:
- His phone is off-limits: He will not lend you his phone when you ask him for it. The times when he gives it to you, you will find his call log history and chat history deleted
- Too many work-related calls: There is a sudden spike in the ‘work-related’ phone calls and he always attends them in private. He may even sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to receive calls
- No time for you: He doesn’t seem to have time for you. Whenever you call him, he is busy. It’s as if he has lost interest in you
- Changed spending patterns: His expenses have suddenly increased. His credit card bills show him shopping in places where men don’t like to shop.
Husbands, especially if they have something to hide, are experts in two things: lying right to your face and giving excuses. Their imaginative abilities seem to work wonders when it comes to hiding things from their wives to be with their new lover/mistress. Where did all that imagination go when they had to plan dates and surprises for you?
12 Excuses to Cheat Husbands Commonly Give
‘I had not seen you in so long and I felt this longing, it didn’t mean much, I swear’. ‘Do you know how lonely it gets for me?’ ‘You have the kids and your parents, I am here all alone for our future’. A woman in a long-distance marriage found herself at the receiving end of these excuses when her husband’s cheating came to light.
How did she suspect him? He was online on Whatsapp at all odd hours! His ‘last seen’ was never more than 15 minutes off. He was not such a message person, she told us. Even with all the good alibis for cheating he had been using, he couldn’t keep his transgression under wraps. All because of a wife who paid attention to detail.
Cheating husbands always have a ready excuse for everything, whether it is for forgetting your birthday or not doing the household chores. These excuses of a married man only get better with time (and practice).
Don’t worry, these 12 signs of a cheating husband will help you decipher if your husband is making all these excuses to leave the house to cheat behind your back:
1. There is this ‘work thing’ is one the most common excuses to cheat
A cheating husband loves to use work to avoid his wife. These husbands know that their wives cannot do much when it comes to their professional commitments, and they love it. Out of six working days if this ‘work thing’ comes up more than twice, then you have a reason to raise your brow.
Work could be one of the excuses to leave the house to cheat that your unfaithful partner uses to spend time with his new fling. Honestly, considering how overused it is, it qualifies as one of the worst cheating excuses he can use to cover his tracks.
Unless you have solid evidence to believe that he is truly neck-deep in work, don’t fall for this lame excuse. In a subtle but firm way, ask him: “Are these excuses to get out of the house to meet your lover?”
2. Hitting the gym is often one of the excuses to leave the house to cheat
Since when has your husband become a gym fanatic? The man who is too lazy to put his plate in the sink is getting up regularly to go to the gym. If that doesn’t get you suspicious that he is making excuses to leave the house to cheat, what will!
The gym thing has various possibilities. He could be hitting the gym to go after some girl who is a member there or maybe he is dating the hot instructor. Maybe, there is no gym after all. If after spending all this time at the gym, he isn’t getting in any better shape, you can be certain that he is burning his calories elsewhere.
Likewise, you expect your husband to be all sweaty when he comes from the gym, but instead, he smells all fresh. To avoid getting caught making cheating excuses, he tells you that he had a shower at the gym. Could you call him an unfaithful partner for this? Heck, NO! But, did he shower at the gym or someone else’s place so that his wife doesn’t sniff another woman’s scent? It definitely warrants that you scratch the surface to find the truth.
Related Reading: 5 excuses your partner gives for cheating on you
3. Frequent outings with friends? Or excuses to leave the house at night?
Men like their space and like to take an occasional night off, when they hang out with the guys to complain, engage in some banter and just unwind. But how many boys’ nights is he having? How much does your husband need to hang out with his friends and leave his wife at home alone?
Is he really with the boys? Or making excuses to leave the house at night for a romantic escapade with his girlfriend without you bothering him? Is it a boy’s night or a one-night stand? You may cross-check every once in a while to ensure that he is just not fooling you with random excuses to leave the house at night.
4. I love to golf in the mornings!
Golf is the perfect cover for cheating husbands. It is one of the best excuses of a married man who is lying to his partner and being unfaithful in the relationship. How else can he get away for an entire day that too on a holiday or Sundays?
A game of golf takes about 8-9 hours, which means that he can stall his wife for 9 hours without her suspecting anything. Since many wives aren’t particularly interested in this game, they don’t even suggest accompanying their husbands or ask questions later. This is what makes golfing a damn good excuse to leave the house to cheat.
5. Starting a heated argument
Sometimes when men run out of excuses, they even spark a heated argument to rush out of the house. He will make sure that it goes to a level where he has to storm out of the house looking angry. He takes advantage of your emotional imbalance during fights and uses it to his advantage. You too, tell him to leave, giving him exactly what he wants.
Brooke found out that it was one of the good excuses to leave the house to cheat that her husband had been exploiting when once she decided to go after him. Her intention was to make up for the fight but she ended up discovering her husband’s infidelity as she saw him walk into a suburban house late into the night.
The pattern of frequent fights and him storming off in the middle of the night and returning the next morning suddenly made perfect sense.
Related Reading: I Knew My Husband Was Cheating On Me Yet I Kept Quiet
6. Grocery shopping can also be one of the excuses to cheat
A true fact is that most husbands hate any kind of shopping, especially grocery shopping. That is something they want to leave to their wives. When your husband comes forward himself and tells you that he is going grocery shopping, then you definitely need to be on the vigil.
It could undoubtedly be one of the excuses to leave the house for a few minutes to catch up with his lover. Maybe he uses this time away from home on weekends to speak to her. Or they decide to meet up at the grocery store for a quick tête-à-tête.
7. A friend falling sick is one of the classic excuses of a married man to cheat
Your husband has to go and take care of a sick friend. And you know, the bromance is always above romance. This excuse is quite an easy way to get out of the house, and reject your calls and respond to your texts with just ‘I will call you later’.
As an understanding spouse, you may want to give him the space to care for a buddy and be there for him. However, if it starts happening notoriously frequently, ask yourself isn’t it one of the good alibis for cheating your man could be using?
Reflect a little on the pattern: How many different friends have been sick in the past few months? Is he really sick or is it a ‘she’ he has to take care of? Why don’t you go along with your husband and see for yourself?
8. Urgent business trips are the perfect cover for cheating
Here comes the urgent business trip, the getaway card for all cheating husbands. It is also one of the most overused excuses to get away from the wife. Your husband tells you that he will be out of town for 2-3 days. What he doesn’t tell you was it that wasn’t a business trip at all but a mini-vacation with the new woman in his life.
Ever noticed that these ‘business trips’ fall on weekends? And when you ask him how the trip was, he doesn’t have anything substantial to tell you. All his responses are vague and non-committal at best. At this point, you might just want to tell him, “Stop making excuses to get out of the house to meet your lover.”
But we recommend you hold yourself back and don’t act impulsively. Gather evidence of cheating before you confront him.
9. Another friend in need is an excuse to cheat
Is there always a friend in distress and your husband rushing to the rescue? He may excuse himself to sort out the marital issues of another man at his home while you and he are clueless about your own relationship problem.
Why does it always have to be your husband who has to help? It is because that so-called ‘friend’ only needs your husband to help her out with her sex drives. If you want to understand whether your partner’s friend is actually going through something or is it just another of the good excuses to leave the house he’s been using to carry on an extramarital affair, prepare to prod a little.
Ask your husband to invite the said friend over for dinner or drinks. If he acts nervous or jittery and makes excuses about why it’s not a good idea, you have good reason to smell a rat. If his friend does show up, casually slip your concern about his situation into conversation and the entire pack of lies will unravel right there.
Related Reading: No, These Are Not Signs Of A Cheating Partner In A Relationship
10. Sleepover at a friend’s
Another one of the classic excuses to get out of the house to meet your love. Your husband tells you that the guys have planned a stay over at one of his friends’ houses. The whole thing of ‘I have not really been with my friends ever since I got married’ comes into play and as a good wife, you oblige.
They could be going for a late-night out for sure, but are you sure about the sleepover part? It could be an excuse to get out of the house overnight and spend it in another woman’s bed. Checking in with other friend’s partners or spouses could be a good idea if you want to assuage your doubts and get clarity on what your husband has been up to.
11. Need to work on a project with a colleague
An important project came up and he has to work late with another colleague till late at night. It seems he is the right person to take the project on and the leadership wants him to take the lead. By any chance, is that colleague a hot coworker your husband is sleeping with?
Who knows what else he might be doing along with a work project. Is this one of his ‘never fail’ excuses to get out of the house overnight? His behavior upon returning home could be a tell-tale indicator of how much truth there is to the ‘working on a project’ story.
Again, if he avoids any conversation about how his night went or offers too many details in an attempt to slay your doubts, you have every reason to be concerned. Clearly, he has been using his work as one of the good excuses to leave the house to cheat.
12. It was just sex!
Once you catch your cheating husband red-handed, he will come up with various excuses to justify his actions and love for you. He will say that it was just sex and it meant nothing. He will say that he loves you and will promise to end his fling to save his marriage. If he cheated you once, then what surety do you have that he will not do it again? Will a cheater cheat again?
Having a lying and cheating husband shakes the entire foundation of your marriage. Your future is at stake and you are at a point where you don’t know what to do with your relationship problem. Even if you forgive him, you may never be able to trust your cheating husband again. If you don’t forgive him, then your marriage will end.
We know that it is difficult to handle such a situation and thus you need to think it through so that you don’t make a decision you will regret later. If you do decide to work on your marriage, you must learn how to forgive your spouse and make your relationship successful despite this breach of faith.