‘I had not seen you in so long and I felt this longing, it didn’t mean much, I swear’. Do you know how lonely it gets for me? You have the kids and your parents, I am here all alone for our future’. She said. They were in a long-distance marriage and he used that as an excuse for cheating on her. How did she suspect him? He was online on Whatsapp at all odd hours! His ‘last seen’ was never more than 15 minutes off. He was not such a message person, she told us. Another lady told us that her husband sleeps with sex workers and expects her to accept it.
If you are suspicious and feel that something is off and different about your husband, pay heed to the gut. Is your husband always ready with an excuse to leave the house and stay out late? Does he have to suddenly stay over for late-night client meetings? Has he started travelling for work which was not part of his portfolio? Is he spending more time in grooming himself than he usually does? Does he guard his phone like a million-dollar cheque? Then these fit the bill of a cheating husband, wittingly-unwittingly you will see the signs, and the excuses he comes up with will be repetitive. Here are some sure shots that your spouse has cheated!
Women are gifted with the sixth sense, which gives them a more intuitive perception. They can always sense when something is wrong or fishy and they are never (or rarely) wrong. Ever noticed how they are always right about whether the guy is just fooling around and a Casanova? The same goes when it comes to cheating husbands. Women can almost sniff out their dishonesty and betrayal even before they find any proof. Some women might think that they are just being paranoid and suspicious for no reason, but more often than not, they are right.
After all, you know your husband, and more importantly, men.
How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?
Perhaps one of the most tragic misconceptions about cheating is that people stray because they have fallen out of love with their partners. It is not true. Most people go out actively looking for someone to cheat with. It is not true. Affairs happen because something is wrong with the marriage. It is not true. People cheat period. Because monogamy is tough. There are a host of other reasons which you can read here.
According to the Associated Press and the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, statistics on cheating husbands show that 22% of men admit that they’ve cheated on their significant other at least once during their marriage. It is also reported in The Journal of Sex Research that men are more likely to cheat after 11 years of marriage. Well, it doesn’t mean that he’s not going to cheat before that.
‘About 55% of married Indians have been unfaithful to their partner at least once, of which 56% are women, according to the latest survey by Gleeden, India’s first extramarital dating app.’ According to Live Mint. Bengaluru ranked number one in infidelity cases. According to Deccan Herald, ‘In general, male users look for women between 24 and 30, while women prefer older partners between 31 and 40. The men are “open to everything” and mostly look for “anything exciting”, while women are more cautious and mostly prefer “virtual” exchange’.
Men are never sexually satisfied with just one person. Cheating gives them a way out of boredom that a marriage normally falls into, as time passes. An affair brings excitement and thrill, they suddenly feel new and young! It is the idea of mixing sex with the danger of getting caught that they love. Wedding vows somehow slip into the background, so high is the desire to seek sexual satisfaction. The marital status becomes inconsequential. And then they make excuses to get out of the house from wife to see other women and have fun outside.
Related Reading: Confession Of Five Women Who Say, “My Husband Cheated But I Feel Guilty“
Warning Signs Of A Cheating Husband
How do you get someone to tell the truth about cheating? You cannot! Generally, people do not accept something like cheating unless they are caught or are forced to. Affairs come and go, cheaters cheat. So you will need to be smart if you want him to admit that he is cheating on you. One lady wrote about how the other woman’s SMS to her husband revealed his cheating to her. First and foremost he must not know that you are onto him, this will only make him more careful to cover his tracks. Silently observing and playing the ignorant wife is what will help you catch him red-handed. Here are some signs to look out for when it comes to a cheating husband:
- His phone is off-limits. He will not lend you his phone when you ask him for it. The times when he gives it to you, you will find his call log history and chat history deleted
- He is always talking privately on the phone to someone from ‘work’. He will get up in the middle of the night to receive calls
- He doesn’t seem to have time for you. Whenever you call him, he is busy. It’s as if he has lost interest in you
- His expenses have suddenly increased. His credit card bills show him shopping in places where men don’t like to shop
Husbands are experts in two things: lying right to your face and giving excuses. Their imaginative abilities seem to work wonders when it comes to hiding things from their wives to be with their new lover/mistress. Where did all that imagination go when they had to plan dates and surprises for you?
12 Excuses For Cheating Husbands Commonly Give
Cheating husbands always have a ready excuse for everything, whether it is for forgetting your birthday or not doing the household chores. Each time they come up with an excuse, the more they become a pro at it. Don’t worry; we have the cheat codes to decipher the hidden reasons behind your cheating husband’s excuses.
1. There is this ‘work thing’
A cheating husband loves to use work to avoid his wife. These husbands know that their wives cannot do anything about it when it comes to working, and they love it. Out of six working days if this ‘work thing’ comes up more than twice, then you have a reason to raise your brow. Work could be a cover for your unfaithful partner to spend some alone time with his new fling.
Related Reading: 22 Sure Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend
2. Got to hit the gym
Since when has your husband become a gym fanatic? The man who is too lazy to put his plate in the sink is getting up regularly to go to the gym. The gym thing has various possibilities. He could be hitting the gym to go after some girl who is a member there or maybe he is dating the hot instructor. Maybe there is no gym after all. You expect your husband to be all sweaty when he comes from the gym, but instead, he smells all fresh, telling you that he had a shower at the gym. Could you call him an unfaithful partner for this? Heck, NO!
But, did he shower at the gym or someone else’s place so that his wife doesn’t sniff another woman’s scent?
3. It’s a boy’s night
Men like their space and there is a night when they hang out with the guys to complain and make fun of their wives or relationship problems.
But how many boys’ nights is he having? How much does your husband need to hang out with his friends and leave his wife at home alone?
Is he really with the boys or is this also a cover so that you won’t call him while he is having a romantic night? Is it a boy’s night, or a one-night stand? You may cross-check every once in a while to ensure that he is just not fooling you with random excuses to spend the night away from home.
4. I love to golf in the mornings!
The golf excuse is the perfect cover for cheating husbands. It is one of the best excuses for an unfaithful partner to get out of the house and cheat, that too for an entire day! The game of golf takes about 8-9 hours, which means that he can stall his wife for 9 hours without her suspecting anything. Since many wives don’t know about the game much, they don’t even ask questions about them.
5. Starting a heated argument
Sometimes when men run out of excuses, they even spark a heated argument to rush out of the house. He will make sure that it goes to a level where he has to storm out of the house looking angry. He takes advantage of your emotional imbalance during fights and uses it to his use. You too, tell him to leave, giving him exactly what he wants.
Related Reading: I Knew My Husband Was Cheating On Me Yet I Kept Quiet
6. He goes grocery shopping
A true fact is that husbands hate any kind of shopping, especially grocery shopping. That is something they want to leave to their wives. When your husband comes forward himself and tells you that he is going grocery shopping, then that’s something you need to think about.
7. My friend is sick
Your husband has to go and take care of a sick friend. And you know, the bromance is always above romance. This excuse is quite an easy way to get out of the house, and reject your calls and respond to your texts with just ‘I will call you later’. This simple thing can lead to a marital problem.
How many different friends have been sick in the past few months? Is he really sick or is it a ‘she’ he has to take care of? Why don’t you go along with your husband and see for yourself?
8. Urgent business trip
Here comes the urgent business trip, the getaway card for all cheating husbands, and one of the most used excuses to get away from the wife. Your husband tells you that he will be out of town for 2-3 days. What he forgot to tell you was it wasn’t a business trip at all, just a mini-vacation for your husband and his new woman. Ever noticed that these ‘business trips’ fall on weekends? Here is an expert piece on the rise of infidelity in current times.
9. He needs to help out a ‘friend’
There is always a friend in distress and your husband rushing to the rescue. He may excuse himself to sort out marital issues of another man at his home while you and he are clueless about your own relationship problem.
Why does it always have to be your husband who has to help? It is because that so-called ‘friend’ only needs your husband to help her out with her sex drives.
10. Sleepover at a friend’s
Your husband tells you that the guys have planned a late night out along with a night stay at one of his friends’ houses. The whole thing of ‘I have not really been with my friends ever since I got married’ comes into play and as a good wife, you oblige.
They could be going for a late-night out for sure, but are you sure about the sleepover part?
It could be an excuse to get out of the house overnight and spend it in another woman’s bed.
11. Need to work on a project with a colleague
An important project came up and he has to work late with another colleague till late at night. Seems he is the right person to take the project on and the leadership wants him to take the lead. By any chance, is that colleague of the opposite gender? Who knows what else he might be doing along with a work project. Is this one of his ‘never fail’ excuses to get out of the house overnight?
12. It was just sex!
Once you catch your cheating husband red-handed, he will come up with various excuses to justify his actions and love for you. He will say that it was just sex and it meant nothing. He will say that he loves you and will promise to end his fling to save his marriage. One husband wrote to us that his wife does not let him drink but his lover does!
If he cheated you once, then what surety do you have that he will not do it again? Will a cheater cheat again?
One husband wrote that he cheated on his wife emotionally and not physically. Having a lying and cheating husband shakes the entire foundation of your marriage. Your future is at stake and you are at a point where you don’t know what to do with your relationship problem. If you forgive him, then you will never trust your cheating husband again and if you don’t forgive him, then your marriage will end. We know that it is difficult to handle such a situation and thus you need to think it through so that you don’t make a decision you will regret later. If you do decide to work on your marriage read this piece on how to forgive your spouse and make it a successful relationship once again.