In the initial stages when you’re just getting to know a person, it’s easy to let infatuation take over. The excitement of a possible “perfect” romance clouds your judgment and makes you ignore some potential red flags that may bother you in the future. In a situation like that, you may ask yourself, “Do I love her?” at the first sign of a connection.
If you’ve known each other for a while and the friendship now seems to be developing into something more, the same question can hold more weight. Trying to figure out if you’re truly in love or if it’s just a brief period of infatuation can be almost impossible to tell.
If you’re asking yourself questions like, “Do I love her or the idea of her?” you’ve come to the right place to get an answer to your query.
30 Signs That Answer The Question “Do I Love Her?”
This exciting question either promises a relationship or a learning experience once you answer it. One sounds more fun than the other, but don’t let that sway your answer. You might be left overthinking for days on end, trying to figure out if being obsessed with how funny she is, equates to you being in love (no, it doesn’t).
Plus, there may even come a time when you get tired of trying to answer, “How do I know if I love her?”, and just give in to what you think is love. But since all that’s going to do is guarantee a nasty breakup soon, figuring it out before you jump in is important.
Some of us fall in love easily (we’re on to you, Pisceans), while some decide to take their own sweet time with it (We see you, Aries). Some might have commitment issues and are deathly scared of another failed romance, which is why they might be delaying coming to a conclusion. Whichever one you are, the following signs will help answer all your questions:
1. You love everything she does
And when we say everything, we mean everything. There aren’t any annoying habits she has that you just can’t stand. There’s nothing she does that you’re possibly looking past, trying to convince yourself that you’re in love with her.
Be honest with yourself about this question. Ask if you really do like everything she does. If you love the way she is, you’ll find yourself delighted by her little quirks.
Related Reading: Am I In Love With My Best Friend? 15 Signs That Say So!
2. You’re invested in making her happy
The world seems to be a better place when she’s smiling. And if you’re responsible for the smile she just cracked, the pure sense of joy you experience during that moment is unlike any other. Figuring out how to make her laugh is your top priority since you care about her happiness. Be it through a lame joke you heard or something legitimately funny.
Once you figure out the difference between her fake and genuine laugh, the fake laugh is going to sound like “better luck next time”. And you’ll want to hear that genuine laugh again and again.
3. Your day is incomplete without her
This is almost a prerequisite. If you can go a day or a few days without talking to her or having her be a significant part of your day, you shouldn’t even be here reading this article.
No, we don’t mean you have to be obsessed with talking to your partner to be in love with her. But when you are, you feel an insatiable need to talk to her about everything that happens to you during your day.
4. You want to hear her talk
It doesn’t matter what she’s talking about, you’re just happy to hear her talk. She could be talking about the most absurd/boring thing out there. But when it’s just her talking to you, everything she says immediately becomes the most important thing ever.
5. You catch yourself thinking about her
Like a shot taken straight out of a rom-com movie, you’ll eventually catch yourself thinking about her throughout the day. Maybe you’re working and you zone out for a second, immediately letting your mind wander to just how lovely this girl is. When you can’t even remember what you used to think about before she came into your life, the next question you might find yourself asking is, “Why do I love her so much?”.
6. You want to know about her family and friends
If you’ve had a casual relationship or two in the past, you’ll realize you never really wanted to know about your partner’s friends or family. With this girl, however, it’s drastically different. You want to know everything about her…where she’s from, who her parents are, who her friends are, did she have pets growing up, etc.. Be careful about how you ask her these things though. You don’t want her to think you’re trying to find out her online banking passwords.
Related Reading: 33 Questions To Ask Your Significant Other To Know Them Better
7. You want her to know you
You’re not scared of opening up to her and you want her to know everything there is about you. Hopefully, she wants to as well and listens to tales of your extremely thrilling 9-5.
The point being, you’re willing to show her your most vulnerable side and open up to her about things you don’t usually talk about. You feel comfortable and safe, and your gut tells you it’s okay to tell her anything you want. When has your gut feeling ever been wrong? Actually, don’t answer that. Just focus on what you’re feeling for her.
8. Her presence makes you happy
You never thought (or perhaps always dreamed) you’d find a person, the sight of whom would make you smile as bright as possible. When you meet her on your date, or even if you just see her wearing her PJs, the joy you feel is boundless. A sort of warm fuzzy feeling that can only be communicated through a big ol’ hug, the kind of hug you never want to end. A hug is always a great way to show affection; in case you’re lacking any ideas in that department.
9. Her absence leaves you in despair
Some might argue that despair is perhaps too strong a word. But the next time she leaves for home, you’ll feel the gut-wrenching “despair” we speak of. You might even be left asking yourself “Do I love her or am I just lonely?”.
More often than not, though, you’ll be able to tell the difference between love and loneliness. If you’re with her just for the sake of being with someone, you’re lonely. If you’re with her because there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing and you love everything about her, you’re in love.
10. You want to give her the world
This cliched subject of at least a billion romantic songs does hold true. When you’re asking yourself “Do I love her or am I just attached?”, think about all the things you’d do for her. How much you want to make her happy. When you’re in love, you’ll do anything in your power to give your partner everything she could ever want.
11. You want no harm to come her way
“Text me when you get home,” goes from a formality you say to people, to something you genuinely mean. You truly care about her safety and well-being. The last thing you’d ever want is for her to go through a tough time. When she eventually does go through hard times, you’ll want to do anything you possibly can to help her out. Love isn’t all cuddles and hugs, it’s about how supportive you are as well.
12. You don’t dislike anything about her
This is perhaps the biggest difference between love and infatuation. If you can honestly tell yourself that there’s nothing major about her that you just can’t look past, you know there’s something there. Most of the time, in their hurry to find love, people tend to overlook the red flags. So, if you want to answer the deep “Do I love her or the idea of her?” question, ask yourself if you’re choosing to turn a blind eye to some things you may not like about her.
Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love
13. You can honestly envision a future with her
It’s cute to jump in and say stuff like “I love you, I want to be with you forever!” in the spur of the moment. But if you feel the same way once you have calmed down, the dopamine has worn off and you spend some time away, there’s a good chance you’re in love.
Think about if you actually want to be with her in the future. Infatuation often subdues rational thinking and makes you live in the moment, leaving you unable to think about a credible future.
14. Sexual intimacy isn’t the driving factor
Sexual intimacy is important to establish any sort of close connection with your partner. But when sexual intimacy stops being the driving factor behind your adoration for this person, that’s when actual love can thrive. A purely sexual relationship may sometimes feel intense and like you’re in love, but relationships that don’t solely survive on sex are truly the ones that stand the test of time.
15. You get jealous from time to time
Nobody likes someone who gets jealous too easily, but a dose of healthy jealousy in a relationship can really tell you all you need to know about your true feelings for this person. If you’re jealous of minor things you really shouldn’t be worried about though, maybe you’re just obsessed rather than in love. Accepting that one will take a lot of introspection, and may just make you ask yourself, “Do I love her, or am I just attached?”
16. A lot of things remind you of her
“I can’t wait to tell her about this.”
“I can’t wait to show her this.”
If you’ve caught yourself thinking these thoughts the minute something happens to you, you’ve essentially answered “Do I love her?” It could be a song you both listen to, a restaurant you frequent, or just a whiff of her favorite perfume. Being reminded of her constantly could give you all the answers to the “Why do I love her?” query.
17. You’re your kindest self with her
You’ve never really tapped into kindness before like you do when she’s around. You want to do everything for her, be it something as simple as pulling out her chair for her or washing the dishes after a meal, simply from the kindness of your heart. Don’t let your parents know you’re washing her dishes, otherwise, you’ll just be facing a bunch of taunts about how you never did any of that at home.
18. You put in the work for her
It could be as simple as putting in the work to look good for her, or trying to please her by being a better version of yourself. She pushes you to hone your best traits and with her support, you give it everything you can. Whether it’s for yourself, for the relationship/friendship, or for her, whenever her approval is involved, you’ll give it all you can. It’s as though you’re already gearing up to be a better partner for her.
So if you’re trying to answer the question, “How do I know if I love her?”, ask yourself the kind of work you’re willing to put in for her. Would you rather stay in at home and eat pizza than help her move on a Sunday morning?
19. Her approval matters most to you
Which is why you put in the work. The motivation to do so comes from the fact that her approval is the only one you truly want (with your boss’s approval coming in hot at number 2). When you do have her seal of approval, you feel a sense of pride that leaves you wanting more.
Related Reading: 20 Signs You Are Ready To Be In An Exclusive Relationship
20. Everything seems to fall into place
When you feel like you’re falling for each other, it may seem like things just fit into place. If you find yourself questioning “Do I love her?”, notice whether everything she does seems like the perfect fit for you. It’s as if Cupid himself is begging you to make your move, giving you all the signs he possibly can.
21. You’re proud to have her by your side
If you want the answer to “Why do I love her?” think about whether and why you’re proud to have her by your side. If you’re not keeping her a secret, if you feel a sense of pride in being associated with her, there are definitely multiple qualities about her you adore.
If she’s proud of you as well, there will be mutual respect in the relationship. If you can muster the courage to ask her to be in a relationship with you, you’ll have a relationship worth cherishing.
22. No other girl crosses your mind
While it’s possible to like two people at the same time, if you’re truly in the initial stages of falling in love with this girl, no one else will cross your mind. Simply because no one else even comes close. To you, she is currently the pinnacle of beauty and love. If you’re thinking about multiple women, however, the answer to “Do I love her or am I just lonely?” might be an unfavorable one.
23. Thinking about saying “I love you” doesn’t feel wrong
There’s a good chance you’ve come dangerously close to saying it in the first place. When you’re in the moment and you feel the love in the air, those three words just seem to roll off the tongue. Even if you haven’t said them yet, thinking about saying them doesn’t feel even a tiny bit wrong. It doesn’t feel like you’re forcing yourself to say it or that you don’t really mean it.
When a girl knows you love her, she’s probably just waiting for you to say it too. Even so, try not to rush into anything and spoil it all by saying it too soon. Buy her dinner first.
24. There’s no judgment in your dynamic
Perhaps she’s your friend, or you two are just getting to know each other. No matter the case, you’ll be able to tell her anything. You’ll feel comfortable confiding in her and there is absolutely no hint of judgment. No, don’t get ahead of yourself and ask yourself something like, “Do I love her more than she loves me?” at the first sign of an emotional connection.
25. You’re in love if you aren’t lying to yourself
If you’re one of those love-bombers who loves the idea of being in love, you may well be lying to yourself. Truly ask yourself “Do I love her or the idea of her?” and have an honest conversation with yourself. No, a ‘Do I love her quiz for guys’ won’t do you much good when the answer already lies deep in your subconscious.
And if you’re tired of all the introspection, ask your best friend if need be. Preferably a female friend though. A male friend would just ask you to stop being so stupid and tell you to never tell a woman you love her, owing to the whole “alpha” male angle.
26. You want to spend all your time with her
Your friends or literally any of your other hobbies now don’t provide the same happiness you get when you’re with her. A great way to answer “Do I love her?” is to see how much you like spending quality time with her. No matter what it is you’re doing, the first person you’d like to call would be her.
When a girl knows you love her, she can usually pick up on it. If she likes you back, she’ll gladly accompany you when you ask her out.
Related Reading: 15 Signs A Commitment-Phobe Loves You
27. You overthink about her
You haven’t just caught yourself thinking about her, but you’ve most probably been overthinking as well. Constantly wondering what she thinks of you, how you can please her, be there for her, or win her over.
If you’ve been stressing about what she thinks of you and over-analyzing your conversations in meticulous detail, answering “Why do I love her?” will probably result in another episode of overthinking. The only way out is to ask her out.
28. You want her to know your friends
In your haste to make her a part of your life, you’d want to introduce her to your friends as soon as possible. Just like you want to know all her friends and family, you also want her to meet all your friends. Even though your friends may say something stupid like, “Never tell a woman you love her, let her say it herself” after they meet her, don’t let their bad “bro” advice direct your actions.
If you’re certain of your feelings without Googling something like, ‘Do I love her quiz for guys’, don’t let your friends’ bad advice hold you back from telling her how you feel.
29. You can’t stand the thought of her with anyone else
Unless you want to begin a polyamorous relationship, chances are you can’t stand the thought of her being with someone else. And if you’re the jealous kind, it’s possible you might just hate her exes already. When the hate for her exes gets a little too much, you might even ask yourself, “Do I love her, or am I just attached?”
But since emotional attachment is almost a prerequisite for love, you may just be headed in the right direction. So if you can’t even think about her being with someone else, tell her how you feel before that Tinder guy she’s talking to takes her out on one too many dates.
30. She is your number one priority
If she’s your number one priority, you shouldn’t even bother overthinking any questions like “Do I love her or am I just attached?” When she ranks this high in your life, there isn’t even a doubt about how important she is to you.
Wondering how you can tell if she’s your first priority? Ask yourself: Who’s the first person you want to talk to after something happens? Who do you want to spend most of your time with? When you realize that the answers to all these questions point in the same direction, you’ll probably be left asking yourself, “Do I love her more than I should?” instead of even questioning whether you’re in love or not.
If most of these signs are applicable to you, congratulations! You just figured out you’re in love. It doesn’t have to be the complicated mess movies make it out to be. Your love story could be a straightforward one, all whilst delivering a happiness you’ve never experienced before.