Have you ever found yourself listing down questions to ask your significant other, to make sure you know everything about them? Because we know the itch. When you start dating someone or falling for them, you want to know every crevice and nook of their being so you can constantly discover the person you love so much.
What are the things that make them get up in the morning or little details like how much sugar they like to take with their coffee and why? From the largest to the smallest little things, these are the details that make a person whole and when you are falling in love, you just want to know every single one of them. In this guide, we present 50 questions designed to help you know your SO better. These inquiries go beyond the surface level, encouraging meaningful conversations that can strengthen your bond and ignite new levels of intimacy.
50 Questions To Ask Your Significant Other To Know Them Better
There’s a constant effort to know ourselves in this life and your relationship is no different. What keeps the spark alive when dating long-term is that every time you see them, you get to enjoy something new about them. Maybe yesterday you learnt that they completely hate donut holes but enjoy donuts on a regular basis. Today, you realized that the person you love has a complicated relationship with their mother and yet it shapes a lot of who they are.
Even ten years into a marriage, you will learn something new about your husband or wife. So here are a few ‘how well do you know your partner questions’ for you to gauge how deep you have dived into your partner’s real life.
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Questions For A New Relationship
The butterflies, the compulsive need to always smile, and the world view from rose-tinted lenses are the characteristics of a love-struck person in a new relationship. However, when something is new, there is also an urge to peel back the layers of the person and get to know them to their core being. Here is a list for when your relationship is in its early stages:
1. If you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Pay close attention to the lyrics of the song they tell you about. Often, the music they listen to will tell you more about them than they ever will. This is an interesting way to ask what their favorite song is, and to know what makes them happy.
2. What would you want to change about your dynamic with me?
This is a pretty big question to ask them but quite pertinent. One of the more serious questions to ask your partner about your relationship in its early days, with this one, you’ll really get to see how seriously they take you already.
3. Do you think one can be friends with their exes?
This is one of the most important questions to ask your partner to see what they think about their exes. Do they prefer to have their past partners out of sight, out of mind, or are they willing to form a new relationship with them? It’ll show you their maturity and if they are willing to introspect on their own flaws too. It’ll also reveal your own insecurities and you can then find a way to deal with them, or draw boundaries.
4. What is your favorite childhood memory?
This is one of the good queries for your SO in the initial stages of your relationship. This will not only help you understand their past better but also about the simple pleasures that made their younger self happy. Was it playing on the beach or spending time with their father? These things can give away a lot about what your partner values.
5. Do you believe in monogamy and marriage?
Oh boy, now we really are demanding some serious answers. If you want to be in a long-term and successful relationship, you need to know your partner’s stance on the same and if it aligns with yours. This is one of the deep questions in a relationship that you should know before marriage. They might be polyamorous, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to get married. Ask, and you shall know.
6. Is there anything that you regret?
Our regrets often mask deep and hidden parts of our past and personalities. Our experiences are what make us who we are in the present and you might want to know the events or circumstances that made your partner the way that they are today.
7. Who is the most inspiring person you have ever met?
This is a good way to really dive deep into your partner’s personality. We all have one or more role models who guide us into being our best selves. Find out who that is for your boyfriend or girlfriend to really understand their goals of who they want to be.
8. What was your first impression of me?
One of the best questions to ask your partner about yourself. You HAVE to find out how they fell for you. You might even be surprised when they tell you what they noticed about you when you started dating in college, and things they like about you that you may not even be aware of.
9. Have you ever been cheated on?
Opening up some massive doors here, but such intimate questions go a long way in understanding them better. When one has been cheated on, they might change in a lot of ways or view relationships much more differently. Now you’ll understand the root cause of their trust issues or insecurities and hopefully help them overcome the same.
10. Would you rather curl up with a book or go clubbing?
For the initial stages of dating, this is one of the new relationship questions to know how they choose to spend their time (and what their guilty pleasures are). This way you’ll know better than to constantly drag them to the club and then wonder why they never want to go. You’ll know that it’s not because they are avoiding you but simply because that is not their jam.
Related Reading: 5 Ways To Enjoy A Party Even When Your Partner Is Not A Party Person
Questions To Ask Your Partner When You Both Are Exclusive
You two have accomplished a crucial milestone in your relationship, congratulations! Exclusivity is a crucial stage that denotes a shared desire for a more committed relationship. Two people can be polar opposites and still fall in love with each other.
However, that does not mean that they morph into one person (at least not immediately). This obviously means opposing views and values. Here is a list to gauge your partner’s view on relationships and get to know their philosophy toward love (please don’t ask what they would do if you were to die suddenly!):
11. Would you ever want an open relationship?
Now the answer to this might change over time, nevertheless, you must ask this one. It might reveal their fears and insecurities which you should know about. But also, don’t judge them if they say yes. Now you know that you can expect such a proposition from their end someday.
12. What are the three most important elements of a relationship?
These connecting queries go a long way in establishing harmony in your relationship. Have a lengthy discussion about what you both think are important qualities of a healthy relationship and further ponder how to cultivate the same. The growth of a relationship lies in healthy communication and mutual understanding and this question is the first step toward that.
13. What do you love the most about me?
Having dreams about getting married? This is an adorable question to throw at your lover about yourself to see what it is that makes them stay every day. Is it your charm, your wit, your kindness, or all of it? Ask them so you know what makes their heart flutter. It’s an important question to ask to get to know someone romantically.
14. Would you choose money or love?
Now, before you get all riled up if they say they would rather have a Mercedes Benz than marry you, let this question be a more open-ended discussion about these concepts in general. Don’t get too personal or start relationship arguments with this one. Let the discussion stay at a philosophical level.
15. How can you tell when you are really comfortable around someone?
Use this question to understand what makes your partner feel safe when they are around other people. Is it loud or chatty people or do they like being around somber personalities? After this, you can anticipate how they will react when you introduce them to your parents or friends.
16. Would you ever indulge in a threesome?
Some people might find this odd but once you have reached a certain stage of the relationship, you should bring up this question. This is indeed one of the more intimate things to get to about know someone but it gives you a fair idea of their sexual freedoms and proclivities.
17. Do you want children?
This is an important question before marriage because it is absolutely necessary that you try to stay on the same page about this. If not, then your marriage will certainly be off to a rocky start. One cannot put off discussing this question when a marriage or any form of a committed relationship is on the horizon for you two.
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18. Where do you see yourself in five years?
This might sound like a job interview question, but it’s probably one of the most important queries in a relationship before you start getting serious with them or enter a long-distance relationship with them. One should constantly discuss deep relationship questions and revisit life goals with their partner to ensure they eventually intersect. Incompatible goals and diverging futures are early breakup signs.
19. Are you happy with the amount of time we spend together?
This might not be the most romantic question for your lover, but it can definitely help you. This question can lead to a lot of follow-up discussions about space in a relationship, how often one should call the other, and whether one is feeling neglected or lonely in the relationship.
20. What is your favorite way to spend a day with me?
Now you know how they like to spend time with you. Do they like to do something outdoorsy like fishing or do they prefer low-key and simple things like going grocery shopping? Either way, your next date is planned!
Questions To Ask About Life
Underneath the handsome/beautiful layer of skin and bones, who is your partner? What motivates them? Whom do they look up to? These are things that help you uncover a person’s day-to-day view of life and also understand if you both share a similar vision for this gigantic puzzle called life. By asking new relationship questions and analyzing each other’s responses, you can develop a deeper understanding in your relationship. Here are ten topics for your partner:
21. What makes you want to wake up in the morning?
This is one of the nicer connecting queries to really bond with your partner and understand the one drive that gives them purpose. Is it their job, their big family, or is it just their passion for watching the Lakers play? Whatever it is, you should get to the bottom of it.
22. Are you an internal or an external person?
Internals often believe that they have a right to control their own lives on their terms, and externals usually just hope for the best and leave everything to the mercy of destiny. This is an important question to ask in a relationship. This simple distinction greatly influences how one goes about their everyday life and makes their decisions. Ask your partner this question to understand what their primary faith is in. Is it in themselves or in the world?
23. Were you closer to your mom or dad?
When you are in love with someone, it is hugely necessary to understand that person’s relationship with their parents. Our relationships with our parents widely determine how we turn out as adults or how we choose to love different people (also defines our love language). This can give you a major insight into who your partner really is and what makes them that way.
24. Do you want to move to a different city or live here forever?
Does your SO have huge plans of relocating or are they happy to settle where they are? This is one of the things you should know about your partner before marriage so you know what you are signing up for.
25. What are your core values and how do they shape your decisions and actions?
This question allows you to understand your partner’s guiding principles and how they navigate life. It provides insight into their moral compass and helps you align your values as a couple.
26. How do you define success and what does it mean to you?
Success is a deeply personal concept, and everyone has their own definition. Their definition of success could encompass various aspects such as career achievements, personal growth, relationships, or even inner fulfillment. Understanding how your SO perceives success allows you to support and celebrate their achievements, while also aligning your own perspectives on what it means to lead a fulfilling life while loving someone.
27. How do you handle stress and how do you maintain mental and emotional well-being?
Let’s add to the emotional well-being of your relationship. Everyone copes with stress differently, and understanding your partner’s coping mechanisms allows you to support them during challenging times. They may find relaxation through activities such as exercise, reading, spending time in nature, or engaging in hobbies. By knowing their preferred methods of relaxation, you can provide the necessary space, understanding, or assistance to help them unwind and recharge.
28. Do you feel heard in this relationship?
It’s so important to discuss such relationship questions, but we often overlook them. Your partner may not know it right away but they might eventually realize that there was a time, place, or incident when they were not heard or valued. Give them the space to think about that and resolve the issue before they harbor more negative feelings about it.
29. What role does spirituality or faith play in your life?
This question invites a conversation about your partner’s spiritual or religious beliefs and how they shape their worldview. It allows you to understand their values, rituals, and the role of faith in their daily life.
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30. What are your thoughts on financial management?
Money plays a pertinent role in relationships, and discussing your partner’s thoughts on financial matters is crucial for alignment and shared goals. This question allows you to explore their attitudes toward money, financial responsibility, and how they envision managing finances together.
Sexy Questions To Ask Your Partner
Maybe you and your partner have reached that stage of intimacy in your relationship where sex plays an active part, or maybe you have recently started exploring the sexual aspect of the relationship. Either way, you can find out a lot about your partner’s sexual preferences even if you have been together for a while. Here are ten interesting questions to ask your significant other if you want to inject a little fun and spontaneity into your conversations:
31. Are you happy with the sex in this relationship?
Looking for some hard questions to ask your partner? Pun intended. From time to time, a couple should be open to discussing the sexual intimacy that they share. It is possible that there’s feedback on the other end but they are feeling awkward to share it with you. Whether they want to try BDSM and sex toys or want to go slow and make it more passionate – Pop this question regularly to make your sex life better.
31. What is your ultimate fantasy or sexual desire?
This question allows you and your partner to explore and share your deepest sexual desires. It creates an opportunity for open and honest communication about your fantasies, fostering a deeper level of intimacy and understanding in your relationship.
32. What are some of your favorite ways to be touched or pleasured?
By discussing your partner’s preferred forms of physical touch or stimulation, you can enhance your sexual experiences together. This question encourages you to discover new ways to pleasure each other and deepen your connection in the bedroom.
33. Are there any specific role-playing scenarios or sexual games you’ve always wanted to try?
Role-playing and sexual games can add excitement and novelty to your intimate experiences. This question encourages you to explore your partner’s interests in this realm and fosters a playful and adventurous atmosphere in your sexual relationship.
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34. What is your favorite part of my body, and why does it turn you on?
Understanding your partner’s physical preferences and what arouses them can deepen your sexual connection. This question allows you to celebrate your bodies and fosters a sense of confidence and desirability within the relationship.
35. What is the most memorable or exciting sexual experience you’ve had, and what made it so special?
Sharing memorable sexual experiences promotes a sense of nostalgia and intimacy between partners. This question allows you to learn more about your partner’s previous relationships and what made them extraordinary, providing even more vulnerable insights into their preferences and desires.
36. How do you feel about incorporating intimacy aids or any sensual accessories?
Discussing the use of intimacy aids or any sensual accessories opens up a conversation about exploring new sensations and enhancing pleasure (you never know, maybe they have a sexual bucket list just hiding somewhere). This question allows you to gauge your partner’s comfort level, if they can’t enjoy intimacy because of certain factors, and their curiosity regarding incorporating such elements into your sexual relationship.
37. What are your thoughts on public displays of affection?
This question delves into your partner’s comfort level and interest in exploring public displays of affection or engaging in sexual activities in unconventional locations. It can lead to a discussion about boundaries, excitement, and the potential for adventurous experiences together and discover the role affection plays in their life.
38. How important are spontaneity and surprise in our sexual relationship?
Spontaneity and surprise can add excitement and novelty to your sexual relationship. This question allows you to explore your partner’s desire for spontaneity and brainstorm ways to incorporate surprise encounters or experiences that keep the passion alive.
39. What are some ways we can prioritize and maintain intimacy and connection in our busy lives?
Maintaining intimacy and connection outside of the bedroom is crucial for a healthy sexual relationship. This question prompts a discussion about finding balance, creating quality time, and nurturing the emotional connection that supports a vibrant and fulfilling sexual bond.
40. How do you like to set the mood for a passionate and intimate evening?
Setting the mood is an important element of a satisfying sexual encounter. By discussing your partner’s preferences for creating a sensual atmosphere, you can cater to their desires and enhance the overall experience.
Fun Questions To Ask Your Partner
Not every topic needs to be deep and meaningful in order to find out more about your partner. Sometimes, there is a lot you can discover in the most mundane, senseless quiz (like, what is your favorite movie? Or whom would you choose as a dinner guest in a room filled with celebrities?). Such engaging questions can be a starting point to a more meaningful conversation. Here are 10 fun questions for your partner:
41. What do you wish people would notice about you more?
When you are in a serious relationship, it is good to be with someone who is self-aware and not self-obsessed. No one wants to be dating a narcissist. This question will tell you how your partner views themselves and what they consider promising qualities in their own personality.
42. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
This question sparks a playful conversation about your partner’s imagination and their desired abilities, providing insights into their aspirations and interests.
43. What was your most embarrassing moment?
To keep things lighthearted and fun and really see that goofy side of the person you love, ask them about their biggest screw-ups or when they were so embarrassed that their face went red. It will be cute to keep revisiting that story and find something to laugh about.
44. What is your dream vacation destination?
Exploring travel desires and dream destinations ignites a sense of wanderlust and adventure. This question allows you to share and discuss your partner’s travel aspirations, fostering excitement and potential future plans.
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45. If you could learn a new skill or hobby instantly, what would it be and why?
Exploring your partner’s desires for personal growth and new experiences opens up conversations about their passions and aspirations. This question fosters a sense of curiosity and can lead to discovering shared interests. It could also be fun to know that they are having a hard time learning French and would rather that Duolingo teaches it to them in a day.
46. Who was your biggest/first celebrity crush?
A simple question like this can open a box of childhood memories. Get to know their likes and dislikes, and understand what your partner finds attractive in different people, not just physically but also in terms of values.
47. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Do you have a foodie partner? Find out. This lighthearted question prompts discussions about culinary preferences and favorite dishes. It creates an opportunity to bond over a shared love for certain foods or discover new ones to try together.
48. What is your dream job?
If money weren’t a factor, what kind of job would your SO like to do? This is the question that helps you figure out their hidden desires or passions. It can also be a gateway into their real-life aspiration. Bring up this question and watch their eyes light up!
49. If you could live in any fictional world, which one would you choose and why?
Exploring fictional worlds is a fun way to tap into your partner’s imagination. This question encourages them to delve into their favorite books, movies, or TV shows and share their fascination with certain fantasy realms that give them comfort and joy.
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50. If you could have a personal theme song that played whenever you entered a room, what would it be and why?
Exploring your partner’s musical preferences and their desired impact creates a fun and imaginative conversation. This question allows them to express their personality through a theme song choice and can lead to discussions about shared tastes in music.
So, there you go. From personal and intimate to deep queries to ponder about your relationship, we have it all covered. Remember, getting to know your SO is a process so don’t rush it and don’t turn this into a rapid-fire round. Take your time to peel back those layers and you’ll feel like you are falling more in love, every single day.
This article was updated in June 2023.