So you think it’s fun to date stand-up comedians?

My girlfriend is in a relationship with a stand-up comedian. (Me. Obviously.)

This is an equation that women in normal relationships just cannot fathom.

A frequently asked question is, “OMG! What’s it like to date a comedian? Jokes every day? You must be so happy?”

To which her reply always is “Uh.”

A lot of people refuse to consider dating a comedian as a stable relationship. Most people assume comedians are goofy people who crack jokes and take nothing seriously. That their reason for dating is to take the girl out so that they can get material for their next set. That’s a complete lie! (We get sets from other aspects of the relationship also!)

Dating a comedian is (not) a joyous task. It’s a daily struggle to figure out whether he’s serious or joking.

It’s another struggle to convince people that the comedian has a serious side to him. (Something that sadly only the girl will see.)

I get tons of messages from female fans who say ‘I love you’ and ‘I want to marry you’, obviously because they are in love with the on-stage jovial persona, but they don’t know the immaturity that hides behind it.

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I’m supremely immature. I’m a person who laughs when someone falls. I giggle when I hear a stupid sound. When my girlfriend and I walk in public, people think it’s romantic that we are holding hands. It’s not. If she lets go, I will get distracted and run away. Sometimes I believe my girlfriend is only dating me so I can prepare her for parenthood.

When you date a comedian, you get jokes and tons of silly moments. The appeal of having a comedian crack jokes all the time does seem exciting but as every dietician says, “Everything is good…but in small amounts.”

My girlfriend has progressed from laughter to sheer disregard for my jokes. At first, I would catch her by surprise with my punch lines (puns, innuendos or some stupid sound that has nothing to do with the conversation), but now I catch her by surprise if I don’t crack a joke and she’s expecting it.

Here’s how a normal conversation goes:

She: How was your day?

Me: Nothing. Wrote a few jokes. Went on stage and made a fool of myself.

She: Oh, that’s bad!

Me: I’m just a flower.

She: What?

Me: I’m a phool.

She: cuts the call

There is a cycle of joke tolerance that you develop while dating a comedian.

First joke – Ha ha you’re hilarious.

Second joke – Okay then!

The third joke – I predicted it.

The fourth joke – WILL YOU PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF GOD… SHUT UP!

Women love men who can crack them up, but I’ll let you in on one secret.

Men absolutely adore women with a sense of humour. Before I met my girlfriend the only thing I wanted was someone who’d understand my jokes.

The number of times I’ve gone on a date and cracked a ‘That’s what she said’ joke followed by a blank reaction from the other side and a callous, ‘Who said what?’ reaction made me believe I’m the moron. However, sometimes you find the one. The one who is willing to keep up with this absolute barrage of nonsense. This one person who is permanently going to be your audience member, your whiteboard for rejected jokes and your biggest critic. (I dated a girl called Roshan. She was Critic Roshan.) (That’s a joke my girlfriend would slap me for.)

It’s been a fantastic journey so far. After a year of dating my girlfriend knows when I’m joking or when I’m using humour to mask my emotions. (It’s very tough to laugh and be sad at the same time. That’s one skill I’m proud of honing.)

Related reading: Couples that laugh together

So if someone asks me if dating a comedian is fun, I always say ‘No’. It’s not dating a fun comedian. It’s dating a fun person that makes for the best comedy.

That’s the best part about dating a comedian. We will make sure you’re never sad. We will make sure you’re always smiling and we will make sure that this relationship is just a setup for another amazing punch line! Now to convince my girlfriend that the set I did last night was NOT based on our last fight!