“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and the other who never forgets them.”
Some things in life are perfect in thoughts, like happily ever after, unless you wish to live forever with rose-tinted sunglasses up your nose. But then that’s what life tells you… make your own Utopia. So here go my thoughts on what was and what is life before and after marriage.
Life before and after marriage
Life does change dramatically after marriage. The single life is something that is quite different from married life. But if you look at things with a bit of humor you can sail through. This is what I have always done. So here’s a take on life and possessions before and after marriage.
Change might sound exciting for people but facing one in reality and being successful at it is not a cake walk. Same goes for life after marriage. Where woman are more vocal about life being changed after marriage for them, changes in life after marriage for a man are barely talked about. So, scroll down for some insights on a light note that couples go through.
1. The bed space before and after marriage
Before marriage, my bed was my own. Entirely, the 3 by 6 single bed without a head post was completely mine to tumble upon and relax. Though after marriage and on a king-sized bed, it’s difficult to keep boundaries. Sometimes one gets tumbled over and under the bed too.
You share your territory now. Your partner too needs enough space for a goodnight sleep and you have to give it. So, forget sleeping like a starfish. In the beginning, you will find your sleeping pattern being disturbed but this is going to be the new normal and you will get used to it.
Another trouble will be sharing pillows. Your sleeping style of tucking one pillow under your head, other by your side, and hug another one will be compromised. But what to do? Your partner needs a pillow as well. Comforter or blanket will be shared too. Be prepared to play tug of war with your bed-fellow, even when you are in deep sleep.
And if your partner eats in the bed – this has to fall under the category of ‘bed etiquette’. Worse comes when he/she doesn’t bother to use a sheet beneath the eatables, you are left with nothing but cringe. The crumbs tease you and it is like the call for the third World War!
2. Couple goals before and after marriage
Before marriage, the couple goals exist. He says I’ll do anything for you darling. Post marriage, well the goals exist but more like throwing the laundry from beside the bed into the laundry basket at the end of the lobby. Even a simple task like taking out the garbage becomes a proposal for headache.
During courtship, couples playfully tease and have fun with each other. And why not? They are essential playmates. But the cute clown activities are replaced by funny remarks on each other’s weird habits. You get comfortable with farts, burps, and snores. After all, these are just normal body functions. Those smelly socks are an “ew” thing and you don’t feel embarrassed about it.
When the dreams of having a baby are fulfilled, changing diapers and getting the bottle of milk ready becomes a “your chance now” thing, especially at night. So, the shades of after marriage love change in various ways while the colors of your relationship remain the same.
3. Weighty issues before and after marriage
Before marriage, every calorie matters. Size zero may not happen but staying fit happens. Post the event, the notion changes to Who Cares!! You can pile up the calories and the French fries and burgers are suddenly so much more enticing. The ghee in the ghar ka khana also smells heavenly. Ummm…
It is believed that weighty issues are more among women as life after marriage for women changes much faster than that of a man. With the set of responsibilities that she is handed over, comes less time to exercise and more to munch on for refueling herself.
Friends and relatives invite you for feasts and serve fat-full, calorie rich food. At home, binge watching is accompanied by binge eating and that packet of wafers is finished in no time. Colas and other sodas are sipped on to accompany each other. Chocolates are the all-time delights that you bite on (ahem!).
And now comes the ‘lovable’ weighty factor – sex. After every sex session, you crave something sweet like ice-creams or cakes. You might pop a bottle of wine and enjoy with a cheese platter. Before you realize, a meal is added to your day and weight to your body. And time to buy a tread mill or a cross trainer is close.
4. Romance before and after marriage
Before marriage, the weekends are “oh so romantic”. Going out by the beach or just plain going out alone with him/her, looking at the stars above and then finding those shining morsels on the ground in the partner’s eyes is tempting. After marriage, the stars turn to glaring volcanoes because either there is no privacy to spend time alone or the time spent is more on the to-do list of family priorities.
Before marriage, the movies are all about rekindling romance but after marriage, well they become a medium to catch up on some much-needed sleep in the dark!
Women keep quoting that my husband changed after marriage. And that he is no longer romantic as he used to be. Sweetie, he is taking care of household, he is taking care of now. And that’s the best form of romance.
Long drives are replaced by longer naps and frequent visits to your favorite restaurants are replaced by cooking together. Those starry-eyed dreams that you have woven together have to be materialized now.
Before marriage, the movies are all about rekindling romance but after marriage, well they become a medium to catch up on some much-needed sleep in the dark! And when you have kids, movie choices turn into cartoon shows, animated movies, and flicks for kids. Also, cuddly times are shared with bedtime stories for kids. Cute, lovable, joyous. Isn’t it?
5. The efforts you put in before and after marriage
Before marriage, there is a seriously low level of trust. You keep your breath tucked in to show a flat tummy. Your appearance is always shiny at any hour of the day. Post marriage, the trust increases to such comfy levels that farting comes naturally and so does the booger hunt.
The on-point makeup, hairdos, and dresses are no longer required. You are more comfortable in that old pair of pajamas, that worn out tee, and the face pack. You dreaded the thought of skipping his/her favorite perfume but now you can easily roam around with that smelly hair mask on.
You used to wait to meet during the courtship but now when you are living under the same room 24*7, you need your space. And if the other person doesn’t get it, poor fellow is in some trouble!
The splurge on flowers, gifts, and surprises is replaced by investing in a car or a new home. From impressing and showering love on each other, you go to spend on couple things and building a secure future together. Who wins the decision on choice of things is another aspect though. So, be prepared if yours is tossed out of window.
6. Slow sexy smiles before and after marriage
Before marriage, the slow sexy smiles mean an invitation to come out for a slow walk while keeping her head on his shoulders and the hands intertwined. After marriage, the slow sexy smiles are often an indicator of help needed in household chores! A gift might mean your in-laws are coming (no offense).
Some husbands complain, “My wife changed after we got married”. No handsome, she just turned comfortable with you around, more than ever and needs your company to manage the household better.
The high heels under sexy dresses often get replaced with comfy shoes so that chores get done on time.
7. What happens to “I love you” before and after marriage
Before marriage, the “I love you” messages are welcome any time and every time but after marriage, the same text or emoji becomes a reason to doubt the very intentions of the partner.
The “I love yous” become more of action rather than words and that intense look in your eyes. These three magical words are said by putting your spouse’s phone to charge. Taking care of the food and household chores when the other one had a tough day is no less than saying “I love you”.
A good head or feet massage, a cup of your partner’s favorite tea or coffee, and breakfast in bed are some of the ways that replace the overrated ‘I love you’. And as the old adage goes – “Actions speak louder than words”, aren’t these actions much louder and better than “I Love You”?
The lovebirds before marriage often turn afterwards into the angry birds.
Before marriage, rose flower dominates all occasions. Afterwards ironically, the flower exits but as a cauliflower!
In conclusion, before and after marriage scenarios are rarely what we imagine. Some experiences might be amazing yet some others leave much to the imagination. Like they say, “It’s an experience worth having at least once so go ahead and create your own marital Utopia!” How life changes after marriage. Sigh!