Picture this: you’re sitting across from your date in a cafe, desperately trying to make an impression, wondering if that zit you got last night is drawing all the attention instead. It’s time to get your coffee, and you go with your usual order.
You hear your date ask for a “Cortado with non-fat soy milk, an extra shot with cream please”. Sound the alarms, forget about the impression you were making, you’re now definitely judging your date for the rest of the evening.
Of all the things that make you judge your date, their coffee order might not have been on top of your list, unless their order was as bizarre as the one above. Perhaps you should, however, since the kind of coffee your date drinks could tell you about what kind of person they are.
Do espresso drinkers talk about anything but themselves? Do black coffee lovers hate fun and joy? Are all Frappuccino addicts 7 years old? Let’s find out what your date’s coffee order can tell you about them.
How Your Date’s Coffee Order Espressos Their Personality
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In a survey of 2000 coffee drinkers in the U.S, at least 27% admitted that they changed their coffee order to impress someone else. So even though your date’s coffee order can tell you something about them, it’s also possible they’ve switched it up to seem like a coffee snob.
Or perhaps, your affogato-loving self decided it’s best to order an Americano to appear more serious, only to struggle to not scrunch up your face after every sip. The point being, take this list with a grain of salt. There are way too many factors that could come into play while a person picks their coffee order.
Even so, let’s break down what a coffee order can potentially tell you about your date. And whether you’re on a date with someone who’s going to compliment you, like a dash of syrup in your iced coffee, or someone who just doesn’t get along with you, like instant coffee in a french press.
Related Reading: A CCD Coffee Cup! That’s Where Our Marriage Brewed
1. Black coffee: The simple purist (a.k.a. boring)
If you’re on a date with someone who truly loves black coffee, you’ve found yourself someone with strong opinions on what they like and dislike, with zero inclination to try new things and change their ways. They’re not even going to look in the direction of a Zara, they’re Marks & Spencers through and through. A single favorite brand of beer, a set morning routine, a set time to think about the existentialism of life, you get the gist.
Old school, simple and efficient, perhaps you’ve found yourself a keeper. Sounds good on paper, right? We don’t mean to rain on your parade, but one study did say that people who like black coffee are more likely to be psychopaths. It might be a good idea to share your location with a friend when your date orders a black coffee.
2. Espresso: The no-nonsense workaholics
If you’re on a date with someone who’s just ordered an espresso, you’re not on a date, you’re probably on a job interview instead. Espresso drinkers like to consider themselves hotshots and business tycoons, who’re always on the go. In some cases, that turns out to be true.
Your espresso drinking date probably has a high-paying job in some big company anyway, so stick around and be on your best behavior. We don’t know about a kiss, but you might just receive an offer letter by the end of it.
3. Latte: The embodiment of “I’ll have anything”
Everybody loves a good latte, and latte drinkers aim to emulate that quality of it. They tend to be very helpful people pleasers, which is exactly the kind of person you’d want to be with on a first date. Although, they also tend to be the most indecisive ones, the kind who’d end up staring at a menu for the entirety of the date before deciding on what they want to eat.
So if you do get in a relationship with a latte drinker, make sure you always have a list of restaurants you two can go to, since they’re going to be of absolutely zero help when you ask, “Where do you want to eat?”
4. Cappuccino: The controllers
A cappuccino, for all intents and purposes, is pretty much similar to a latte. The only difference is a larger layer of foam and less steamed milk. It’s that little difference that means the world to cappuccino drinkers, which, right off the bat, tells us that they love to be in control.
Does that mean they’re going to ask for your phone passcode a few weeks into dating? Probably not, but you might see your password attempts maxed out by the time you get back from taking a shower.
Related Reading: A Swing And A Miss: Emotions You Go Through When You’re Left On Read
5. Iced coffee: The jolly bunch
If you see your date sipping on a cold brew/iced coffee/iced espresso, you’ve got a pepped-up trendsetter on your hands. “All that glitters is gold” might be the best way to describe this personality. They’re always looking for the next best thing and aren’t afraid to try new things. No, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re looking for the next best date after this one with you, don’t let the coffee anxiety get a hold of you.
If you’re sitting across the table drinking your black coffee, find solace in the fact that opposites attract…maybe?
6. Frappuccino: Nope, not coffee
We’re going to take a strong stance here and go out on a limb here by saying that Frappuccino isn’t really coffee. It’s delicious, but it’s not coffee. It’s a milkshake.
If your date claims they’re a “coffee person” but exclusively drink Frappuccinos, it’s exactly like claiming to be on a keto diet to lose weight but only eating fried chicken.
So now you have all the more reason to take your date out for coffee for your first date. You’ll get to know them better by what they say and with what they drink. If your date tells you they’re a tea person, however, try not to lose your calm. You’ll just look like the most arrogant coffee snob ever if you do.
Plus, tea people might just have it all figured out anyway. Studies claim caffeine promotes the release of cortisol. Coffee breath, coffee sweats, caffeine anxiety, why do we like to torture ourselves? Even so, we’re all still grabbing that cup of coffee first thing every morning.
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