The prospect of a new romance excites and entices us with its constant twists and turns. During the blissful first phase of a new relationship, you may truly believe your “happily ever after” isn’t too far away after all. You’re now the new couple on the block and you’re convinced you’ve bagged the title of the best couple as well. But to fantasize about being in love and to actually stay in love forever are often two very different things, as you’ll soon realize.
Staying in love forever isn’t quite like the movies make it out to be. In real life, the two star-crossed lovers might not always end up together. The mandatory “reunion” scene in the rain, will only leave you two catching a cold the next day.
So, is love really all it takes to stay in love forever, or is it a bit more complicated than that? With the help of psychologist Juhi Pandey, we bring you 8 keys to help you stay in love forever.
8 Keys To Stay In Love Forever
Among the list of the cutest things in the world that make people go “Aww!”, old couples who are still in love definitely rank high up there. But as they’ll tell you, to fall in love and stay in love are two completely different things. It’s easy to think you’ll always be happy with your partner when infatuation has a hold on you.
If you want to make sure you grow old with the person you love, there’s much you can do to ensure yours is a loving, smooth sailing relationship. Staying in love isn’t all about how much you love your partner, it can be dictated by how well you two deal with the common relationship problems you will come across.
To make sure a few arguments don’t get in the way of love, let’s get right into the 8 points we’ve listed out to help you answer “how do you stay in love with someone?”
1. Mutual respect
Juhi says, “Respect is the core of any relationship. Once you start living together, differences are bound to come up. How much regard you give to those differences or the belief system your partner holds is what defines a relationship. If respect is not present, a relationship ceases to exist. ”
Signs of lack of respect in a relationship must be addressed immediately. If this issue gets worse, you may end up feeling undervalued and belittled every time your opinion isn’t even given the slightest bit of consideration.
If there was a singular point to be picked to answer “how to stay in love forever”, it’d most likely be establishing mutual respect in the majority of relationships. Simple things like making your partner feel heard and not cutting them off when they’re talking to you can go a long way.
2. Continually support your partner at every step
According to Juhi, lack of support is a very common complaint she encounters during counseling for married couples. “Support is what makes a relationship flourish. Lack of emotional or even physical support in terms of partners not helping around with household chores leads to a lot of conflicts. Support in all aspects of life is very important, especially in this era when women and men both tend to work, ”she adds.
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If your partner is taking up a new challenge, make sure they never feel alone. Whatever life throws at you, you two should be able to deal with it as a team. Keep the “every man for himself” mentality for game nights, not the relationship in general.
Affectionate gestures like bringing your partner their favorite comfort takeaway food when they’re feeling down, or just being there to make them feel heard can all help your partner feel valued. You could even show affection through texts, by sending a cute text here and there. PS: killing the spiders for your partner doesn’t really count as support. It will end up making staying in love a lot easier, though!
3. Showing interest in your partner
Once life is in full swing with work and you get busy with juggling different responsibilities, spending quality time with your partner may take a back seat. Without having any shared hobbies, you two might as well just be housemates living together. Cultivating common hobbies can make staying in love forever a lot more fun than just talking about how your day was over dinner.
Juhi says, “Showing interest is important. It makes the person feel secure and loved. If you do not do or experience new things together, it makes the relationship very monotonous. That brings boredom in a relationship, which ultimately leads to unhappiness.”
Over time, your hobbies may change or you may grow disinterested in the things you were once fond of. The gardening project on your balcony may be abandoned, the movie nights few and far in between. Here’s a hobby that shouldn’t be too hard to pick up: perhaps give wine tasting a go. Remember, it’s called wine tasting, not wine chugging.
4. Sacrifice the occasional Sunday for your partner
It’s not always easy to sacrifice your personal time when your partner might need you to be there for them. “Sacrifices in a relationship have been a very debatable topic. I feel, one has to make some sort of sacrifices to keep a relationship going, but the most important thing is that it should be mutual, ” says Juhi.
Staying in love forever is all about who gives up that last piece of brownie left in the fridge. If you’re always the one who’s giving it up, however, make sure your partner knows you’re expecting some sacrifices from their end too. “When the sacrifices are mutual, it makes the relationship strong, healthier, and long-lasting, ” adds Juhi.
5. Be wary of unrealistic expectations
“To stay in love” meaning can be as simple as making sure you don’t have any unrealistic expectations from your partner. “Unrealistically high expectations in any sphere of life are unhealthy and lead to unhappiness. Take into consideration your work life. If you’re way too ambitious and have unrealistic expectations, you feel constantly disappointed by small misses and may not survive in the job, “ says Juhi.
“It’s the same with relationships as well. It’s natural to have some expectations if you love someone. But very high expectations or unrealistic ones will lead to unhappiness and an unhealthy relationship. A person has to use their own wisdom to draw a line and determine how to go about handling expectations,” she adds.
Related Reading: 9 Things To Do To make a Man Stay Madly In Love With You
6. Resolve conflicts maturely
“Like differences, conflicts are also part of every relationship,” says Juhi. “What’s important is the ability to resolve conflicts maturely, and that comes from mutual respect in the relationship. You must show respect and regard to the disagreements that arise between couples. The only way to resolve conflict is to be respectful,” she adds.
After ugly fights, it may be easy to let your emotions take over and say things in the heat of the moment that you may regret later. A dozen roses and back rub later, the animosity might waver but the memory of the hurtful comments will not.
When mutual respect is truly achieved in any relationship, conflict resolution will become that much easier as well. Staying in love is a choice, and it’s truly put to the test when the worst fights happen. What matters most is how you’ll go about solving them.
7. Tell your partner you love them
“If positive thinking, regard, respect, and support are all established, other things ultimately take place on their own,” says Juhi, on how important it is to voice your love toward your partner.
Telling your partner you love them at a random moment is a great way of showing affection. As the years go by in a relationship, you may stop with the cute ways in which you two express your love for each other. Romance will be at a minimum since you’re content with the way things are and don’t see a need to make an effort to make them better.
Related Reading: 8 little things in a woman which can make you fall in love with her
However, to fall in love and stay in love, being affectionate and romantic toward your partner is a lifetime activity, not something you used to do when you first started going out. Don’t let monotony in a relationship dictate how often you surprise hug your partner!
8. Never take the relationship for granted
“A good relationship is what makes one happy and healthy,” says Juhi. “You may have many difficulties in life but a healthy relationship can help you feel at ease. In the absence of a fulfilling relationship, everything takes a toss. To make sure you don’t take your relationship for granted, you have to remind yourself that it is perhaps the most important thing in your life,” she adds.
Taking a relationship for granted can happen over time when couples start thinking that no more work needs to be put into it. When looking to answer “how do you stay in love with someone?”, the answer can simply be that a relationship requires constant attention and work. Just because you’re comfortable enough to pop each other’s back acne doesn’t mean you can’t be romantic!
Falling in love with someone is often something that happens naturally, out of your control. Staying in love is a choice that’s affected by how much work you’re willing to put into the relationship. To make sure you stay in love forever, these 8 keys listed out by our expert Juhi Pandey will help you achieve your relationship goals, so you can flaunt it on your social media and make all the other couples jealous.