Understand how men and women react differently to breakups
Heartbreaks, sleepless nights, drunken texts, and a lot of regrets – we’ll all been through them, haven’t we? Some of us have probably gone through these nasty little things too many times and might be more familiar than we’d like to be. Some are quick; some linger; some are downright disastrous. That’s right. We’re talking about breakups today, and they’re far from being pretty. The worst part is that you might think you’re completely over the dreadful day which saw a heated exchange of final words, but those pesky little memories keep coming back to you. And then comes the big question: Does the other person have it as bad as you? Truth be told, men and women are quite similar when it comes to handling separation, but the different ways in which they go about it are proof of their peculiarities. Don’t fret at the thought of going back to your gloomy days! We promise we’re going to make your trip down memory lane a fun one! Ladies and gentlemen, let’s take a look at the other end of things, shall we?
Related reading: Here’s how to handle your friend who is going through a breakup
Keeping mum vs. letting it out
One tells the other “It’s just not working out anymore.” You know where it’s headed; you’ve been feeling the pangs, too. And before you know it, both of you have tears trickling down your cheeks. But, at some point, you get back home. And what happens then? The first stage of a breakup sees men and women taking very different approaches. Just like his favourite Bollywood heroes, the man keeps his woeful tales to himself. All his concerned friends are rather confused when he claims that he’s absolutely fine and adds a chuckle before hanging up. The woman, on the other hand, is wise enough to open up to her friends. But when the ‘cool quotient’ is at stake, guys will not break! After all, you can’t be emotional and a guy, can you?
Playing it cool vs. honest discussions
This is a tricky time and kicks in a few days after the breakup. The guy’s friends have a difficult time with him. You know that feeling when you keep asking someone what’s wrong and they keep claiming – in the most convincing way – that they’re all right? His friends give up trying to have a real conversation and discuss everything under the sun to distract him. In the woman’s case, her friends know what’s wrong. Have you noticed how women tend to appreciate each other a lot more than men appreciate their pals? While the macho ferments his sorrows, the woman’s friends make it a point to give her all the moral support they can. The result? Her healing process kicks in.
Cracking open a cold one vs. relapsing
By this time, the guy’s friends have planned what is supposed to be a recovery week! Recovery week includes reuniting with the ‘guy gang’, announcing on a loudspeaker that you’re single, and drinking unholy amounts of alcohol. The woman, by now, is in her second stage of healing. The girlfriends make it a point to take care of everything, from her thought patterns to her calorie intake. But what is discipline if you don’t break? Let’s not kid ourselves. We’ve all been there. A random photo of the ex-boyfriend on her newsfeed makes the woman stalk him, and out comes the bottle of whiskey to soothe the pain!
Related reading: Here’s how to not let your work life get affected after a breakup
Realisation vs. recovery
And this is when the tables turn! It’s when the alcohol gets to his head that the guy addresses the elephant in the room. The guy breaks down, and drinking no longer remains restricted to pubs. This sudden transformation is only made worse when the guy resorts to drunk texts. But even though things have changed on the other side, the guy’s incessant requests to give it another shot bug the woman. With friends to suggest otherwise, the woman thankfully avoids the disaster. Her friends notice changes in her as she makes peace with the breakup! Meanwhile, alcohol lets the guy finally open up to his friends.
Stalking vs. rationality
The stalking season begins once men have come to terms with the breakup. However, by this time, the woman has pulled herself together. His calls aren’t returned and, to be honest, it only helps the man. The woman’s rationality is slowly shared by the man who takes a long time to pull himself together. This is when the guy’s friends come into play and rescue him from his trench of loneliness. It’s a long process. At some point, like the woman, the man makes a mature decision and moves on.
Few things are as ugly as breakups. And while there’s no answer to “Who has it worse?”, we hope that by learning our differences, we can be better at healing ourselves.