Breakups are definitely not easy for anybody. They leave you feeling like a train wreck and you may have a hard time trying to cope with the change that comes after. However, men respond to breakups fundamentally differently than women do. There is no right or wrong way – just that our gendered complexities make us react to things differently. Delving deeper into the men vs women reactions to breakups can help you understand how a broken heart affects our personalities differently.
When it comes to breaking up, the men vs women differences present a stark contrast. The whole journey sees a lot of differences in the way they respond, cope and react to this mountain of suffering. While a man’s maturity and objectivity take a while to kick in, women almost jump on the coping wagon a little too soon. Either way has its pros and cons.
Men vs Women – Reaction To Breakups
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The men vs women reaction to breakups is actually a long list. Heartbreaks, sleepless nights, drunken texts, and a lot of regrets are common. We have all been through them, haven’t we? Some of us have probably gone through these nasty little things too many times and might be more familiar than we’d like to be.
Some are quick; some linger; some are downright disastrous. That’s right. We’re talking about breakups today, and they’re far from being pretty. The worst part is that you might think you’re completely over the dreadful day which saw a heated exchange of final words, but those pesky little memories keep coming back to you.
You wish you could forget it all in a flash but it is just not that easy. And then comes the big question that sends you down a sad spiral: Does the other person have it as bad as you? Truth be told, men and women are quite similar when it comes to handling separation, but the different ways in which they go about it are proof of their peculiarities.
How does a guy behave after a breakup? Or how does a woman cope with the throes of heartbreak? Ladies and gentlemen, let’s take a closer look:
1. Keeping mum vs. letting it out
One tells the other “It’s just not working out anymore.” You know where it’s headed; you’ve been feeling the pangs, too. And before you know it, both of you have tears trickling down your cheeks. But, at some point, you get back home. And what happens then? The first stage of a breakup sees men and women taking very different approaches.
Men: Just like his favorite Bollywood heroes, the man keeps his woeful tales to himself. All his concerned friends are rather confused when he claims that he’s absolutely fine and adds a chuckle before hanging up. Because when the ‘cool quotient’ is at stake, guys will not break! After all, you can’t be emotional and a guy, can you?
Women: She, on the other hand, is wise enough to open up to her friends. A woman is emotionally intelligent enough to know that if she does not let it all out, things will only get worse for her. Before things get disastrously awful, she will call up a friend or two and release all that is bogging her down.
Related Reading: Here’s how to not let your work life get affected after a breakup
2. Playing it cool vs. honest discussions
The differences in men vs women reaction to breakups does not end here. Breakups are a tricky time and sometimes reality in a few days after the breakup.
Men: Why do breakups hit guys later? The guy’s friends have a difficult time with him. You know that feeling when you keep asking someone what’s wrong and they keep claiming – in the most convincing way – that they’re all right? His friends give up trying to have a real conversation and discuss everything under the sun to distract him.
Women: In the woman’s case, her friends know what’s wrong. Have you noticed how women tend to appreciate each other a lot more than men appreciate their pals? While the macho ferments his sorrows, the woman’s friends make it a point to give her all the moral support they can. The result? Her healing process kicks in sooner. Before you know it, the sob story is already over and she is laughing it out with her gals!
3. Cracking open a cold one vs. relapsing
Men: By this time, the guy’s friends have planned what is supposed to be a recovery week! It includes reuniting with the ‘guy gang’, announcing on a loudspeaker that you’re single, and drinking unholy amounts of alcohol. Ignore everything that goes on in your head and bottle it up!
Women: The woman, by now, is in her second stage of recovery. She knows she needs to find happiness and heal completely. Her girlfriends make it a point to take care of everything, from her thought patterns to her calorie intake.
But even with all that discipline, you can have moments of weakness. Let’s not kid ourselves. We’ve all been there. A random photo of the ex-boyfriend on her newsfeed makes the woman stalk him, and out comes the bottle of whiskey to soothe the pain! Women start healing faster yes, but that does not mean they are immune to setbacks.
4. Realization vs. recovery post-breakup
Men: And this is when the tables turn! It’s when the alcohol gets to his head that the guy addresses the elephant in the room. He breaks down, and drinking no longer remains restricted to pubs. This sudden transformation is only made worse when the guy resorts to drunk texts. But even though things have changed on the other side, the guy’s incessant requests to give it another shot bug the woman.
Women: With friends to suggest otherwise, the woman thankfully avoids the disaster. Her friends notice changes in her as she makes peace with the breakup! Meanwhile, alcohol lets the guy finally open up to his friends.
Related Reading: First Breakup – 11 Ways To Deal With It
5. Stalking vs. rationality
Men: The stalking season begins once men have come to terms with the breakup. He simply realizes that he cannot get over her so easily. This is when the guy’s friends come into play and rescue him from his trench of loneliness. It’s a long process. At some point, like the woman, the man makes a mature decision and moves on.
Women: By this time, the woman has already pulled herself together. She knows she must use the power of silence after a breakup. She now feels independent and has realized that it is futile to go running back to him. His calls aren’t returned and, to be honest, it only helps the man. The woman’s rationality is slowly shared by the man who takes a long time to pull himself together.
Few things are as ugly as breakups. And while there’s no answer to “Who has it worse?”, we hope that by learning our differences, we can be better at healing ourselves.