Guess what is the worst nightmare of every person who dreams of falling in love and being swept off their feet by a romantic partner? Yes, you guessed it right. It’s breakup. As wonderful as the process of falling in love with a person is, it is an equally heartbreaking process to get over a relationship.
If the word breakup is hype and an overrated term, it is because of pretty solid reasons. Not everyone is strong enough to make it through a breakup. It is as if one’s entire world, belief system and happiness turn upside down. Breakups are painful, even when a relationship is not that great or it wasn’t a long-term one.
Getting over someone you loved is no cake walk, and for good reason.
Whether you axed a relationship or got dumped yourself, the pain and the hurt after the breakup is inevitable. Either way your day-to-day life goes for a toss, and splitting up makes you miserable and alone. Healing and moving forward after a breakup requires some effort from your side and here are some tips to help you move on from a relationship that has expired.
8 Tips to bounce back after a breakup fast
Image: Buzzpickers.com
Getting over breakup is quite personal and doesn’t come with a prescribed time period. Everyone passes through some stages of breakup to eventually move on and be at peace. But if you wish to get over your breakup a bit faster, then you should keep the following tips in mind.
Accept that it is over
Accept that the relationship is no more and you are on your own from now on. Embrace your feelings of grief and let them out. Remember the good times, but do not overlook the reasons that caused the relationship to end. Most people hurt themselves because they hope that eventually it will get better, or they may get back together again. Unless you do not sqyash your hopes of the other person returning back, your min will never trigger the recovery process.
Do not hurry to get into a relationship immediately as a rebound and neither do stray alone for too long.
Give yourself time to grieve, cry yourself out, feel bad, but eventually accept the empty feeling and get back your pieces of life together. There is a huge possibility that the breakup happened for good, so acknowledge your feelings, accept them and move on.
Don’t shut your friends completely out
Most people trim their social life when they get into a relationship. Because their partner becomes the center of their lives, when the relationship ends it hurts even more. However, you can still claim your social life by letting your friends in. Getting through a breakup alone and getting through a breakup with a bunch of friends holding your hands are two different things.
Your friends can be your pillows or your major breakup distraction or silent listeners while you rant on and on. They can also help you see life in an altogether new way, and keep your mind and brain occupied to help you overcome your breakup.
Find a way to redefine your past memories and souvenirs
Stop seeing your breakup memories as ugly octopuses that make you cry, or simply destroy them. This struggling phase of breakup is indeed difficult. If looking at those picture gives you hopes, just burn them. If the gifts hinder to trigger your recovery process, give them away. If you are matured enough not to view those things as a reminder of your relationship, let them be. It is upto you to decide. But you need to find a way to get over those gifts and memories in a whole new way.
Assign your own values to your memories. Put it down on a piece of paper and stick it on the gifts. That way you won’t loathe your relationship and you will recover from your breakup fast.
Snap all contact
While it is tempting to stalk your ex over social media handles or try to bump into him or her in a co-incidental way, it is best avoided. You need to cut off all ties that connect you with your ex to give yourself time to heal and get over him/her. After a breakup, absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn’t quite work. Time, absence and distance provide the much needed emotional clarity that one needs after a breakup. Missing your ex and stalking him because your emotions are all over the place and running haywire can be detrimental to your moving on.
Remember, the fastest way to get over a breakup is not to hope at all.
Put a period on your brooding
Making through a breakup isn’t a one-day or two-day affair. You cannot help but be trapped in your mind. But there is a limit to which you should brood about your past. After that, simply cut the cord. No more revisiting old text messages or photographs. No more sad thoughts and negativity around. Write on your wall, set reminders or do whatever is necessary. Eat your favorite food, watch some good movies. Exercise and aim to get that dream body.
Whatever it takes, but get over the brooding to initiate the recovery process after breaking up. Don;t suppress your emotions though, because supressed emotions could lead to depression.
Be honest with yourself
If you wish to grow and not remain a heap of broken images, then you need to ask the real questions about your breakup. Did your breakup hammer away at the real person you are? Did your failed relationship take away your vital essence? What important value lessons did you learn about your own personality and behaviour from this relationship? Once you find answers to these questions, you will feel more relaxed and positive.
Jot down your lessons
Every person who comes into our life, comes for a reason – either to stay or a for very good life lesson. Make a list of your breakup lessons. Also, make a list of things you absolutely refuse to compromise on in your next relationship. For example, always doing what you love other than loving your partner and his needs. Make a list of what you learnt and a list of non-negotiables for next relationship.
Find your ‘me time’
As individuals we all have six basic needs – emotional, physical, intellectual, professional, sexual and spiritual. Focus on channelling your energies towards your own needs. Relationships can be very time consuming. When you’re in love, it is not wrong to say that your partner and your relationship become top priority. And if you’re two working individuals, then it is a precious time already when you decide to meet with your partner for a date. Basically, you and your hidden hobbies and passions take a backseat.
After a breakup, you’re the driver of your own life. Go out there and check that crazy wish list of yours.
How do I know I am going through a tough breakup?
Image: Getwallpapers.com
There are multiple behavioural signs of a person getting through a breakup. Here are some pretty noticeable and disturbing changes that can hamper your day-to-day life when you are trying to get over a relationship.
- You prefer being alone: We all know that our best friends are our personal therapists. They make us laugh and we all forget about the bad breakup heartache. But when you start avoiding your friends, you need to know that you are taking the breakup too deeply. And trust us, getting over a breakup alone is a tough bet!
- Refusal to return to the present: Sometimes, getting over the past relationship is the toughest task. The memories are stubborn to fade. If you find yourself dwelling more on your ex’s social media accounts rather doing anything productive, or if you actually start to stalk your ex, you need to start thinking rationally
- You turn a social recluse: Breakups break people down so much that they do not wish to face the world. Hiding in one’s room and wallowing in self-pity seems so much more comforting. Finding comfort in junk food and tissue boxes and avoiding the social scene is a classic case of a breakup affecting a person too much. You need to return to the person you were
- You turn pessimistic: Sometimes, the process of making it through a breakup changes your outlook towards people and life completely. If you have developed a pessimistic attitude towards life and people, you need to pause and take the situation into your control. Depression after breakup is a real thing and needs addressal
Now, all these breakup signs seem scary, don’t they? It’s true that no one wishes for anyone to breakup (unless of course you have a rival lover). It is often better to know some healing hacks to bounce back after a breakup. And then, there are these things that you should never do after breakup.
Remember, there are no painkillers or memory surgeries for getting over a breakup. The only way is making it through, as a whole.
2 comments
This is such a well researched piece, came her via Quora https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-overcome-or-move-on-after-breakup/answer/Bonobology-Bonobology-India
Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago, we had been in a 5 years relationship. We did fight almost 1-2 times for month lately and most of the times started by me because i felt that i was giving too much and she didnt make the effort so that frustrated me and made me been irritable many times. So we got in a fight and she told me that she loved me but wasnt happy and the felt that the relationship should end; i cried and ask her to give us the chance to try make things Work but she refused. So since that day, 3 weeks ago she hasnt called or text me; I talked with my friend and he told me to ask Akim for help.. Akim is a marriage and relationship spititual speciallist.. Akim helped me and my girlfriend called me in less than 40 hours.. i’m so happy right now. i promised akim that i’ll talk about him on the internet and here is hes mobile +19542993106 🙂