You can only send them random “Wyd?” and absurd memes for so long before things start to die down. When they do, and when your double texts are met with nothing but silence, you might have reached the point of no return. To make sure you don’t get there, knowing how to start texting for a date is basically a lifesaver.
We’ve all been there. You’re texting on a dating app or you’ve moved things to Instagram. You’ve talked for about a week or so about music taste and hobbies (conversations that lead to a dead-end) before you’re left scratching your head over how to keep them engaged.
You both know that you share a love for dogs, sushi, and Taylor Swift (something he’s probably lying about anyway), but every subsequent conversation just feels like it’s leading to Ghostville. Let’s help you take things from boring to exciting by learning how you can start texting someone for a date.
Texting For A Date – 15 Tips To Do It Right
You know what’s worse than a boring bio on a dating app? Dry texting. The person you’re texting might roll their eyes at every “Nothing much, just chilling!” response you send them. Worse yet, they might just take screenshots and you’ll find yourself on the next viral compilation of #textingfails.
Though there aren’t any hard and fast rules for texting for a date, a few pointers can come in handy. For example, make sure you stay away from decade-old texting habits like using “XD” or words like “Awesomesauce”. Unless you’re looking to find out what it feels like to be stood up, please stay away from awesomesauce.
Before you ask the person you’re texting another question like, “So… what’s your favorite food?”, let’s take a look at how you can start texting for a date, so things don’t tragically end with anyone being left on read:
1. Establish a rapport
Before you even start to think about how to set up a date over text, establish a rapport with the person you’re talking to. Turn the tables around for a second and think about this: You’ve just matched with someone on a dating app, and the third message they send you is, “What are you up to right now? Want to meet? Let’s meet? Right now?” Major serial killer vibes. Asking someone out on a date too soon is most definitely not going to work in your favor and is borderline creepy. Especially if you’re texting a girl for a date, make sure you don’t rush it.
Related Reading: 160 Ultimate What If Questions About Love For Couples
2. Don’t be a dry texter
Don’t respond with one-word replies, don’t “Hey and pray” (sending a Hey and hoping for a response), in a nutshell, don’t be boring. Try to avoid being a dry texter, and you’ll have a great time. If you’re wondering how to ask someone on a date over text, avoid the cliched “I want to date you” messages. We know, we know, it’s easier said than done when your palms are sweating while texting for a date.
However, if your conversations make you want to yawn, it’s no surprise that you find yourself wondering why you’ve been texting for a month but no date has surfaced yet. Pretty soon, they might just become an internet friend you send memes to occasionally. Therefore, you must know how to not be a dry texter. Try these online dating texting tips:
- Avoid replies like, ‘K,’ ‘Nope,’ ‘Cool,’ ‘Yeah”Make texting fun with GIFs and emojis and replace certain words like heart, lips, wine, ocean, house, pizza
- If you’re sending out a first text to a girl you don’t know, avoid annoying pick-up lines stolen from the internet
- Look up first-date text message examples and funny memes related to them
- Don’t be afraid to ask interesting questions to your crush
3. Be a bit flirty
When you’re texting someone for a date, especially texting for a second date, you’ve got to make them look forward to it. When you flirt (just a little bit), you’re testing the waters while also proclaiming that you’re confident and that the date has the potential of being fun *wink*.
Trust us, it’s not too hard to flirt while you’re in your PJs, laying on the couch. If they send you a photo of a recent outing, all you have to do is say something like, “Who’s that cutie in the red? Wondering when I can take him/her out.” Before you send this across, make sure it’s them wearing the red, not their attractive best friend.
4. Make them laugh
Want to get a date in 5 short texts? Wondering how to text a girl for a date? Thinking about an interesting date message or blind date text? Try jokes. If you make a girl laugh or get a guy chuckling over text, you’ve already got them looking forward to meeting you. A few inside jokes or just humorous conversations will make the person you’re texting believe that you’re not going to “So… some weather we’re having, huh?” them while on your date. Here are some dating tips to help you channel your funny side without making it seem like you’re trying too hard:
- If you’re meeting someone for the first time after texting, try a silly (not creepy or boring) pickup line. For example, “Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I can walk by again”
- Use your flirting skills and your sense of humor if you want to know how to hook up with a girl over text. Don’t simply text, “Your place or mine?”
- Record and send your best impression. If you’re wondering how to ask out your crush over text, do it in their favorite fictional character’s voice
- Send a link to a funny TikTok or tweet that made you laugh out loud
5. Get to know them
Wondering when to ask for a date after texting? It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to initiate contact with a woman via text or trying to get a guy to meet up with you, the first step is to get to know them as much as you can. It’s going to improve the quality of your “relationship” with them and you’ll get a better idea of the kind of person they are. Here are a few insightful text examples:
- You said you’re a huge fan of live music. There’s a band playing at a nearby venue this Saturday evening. Would you like to go together? We can enjoy the music and talk about our favorite genres
- I’m a big fan of board games. Would you like to spend some time together playing Scrabble?
- I love watching your cooking reels. How about we have a mini cook-off at my place this Friday?
6. Make sure you like each other
All your efforts at texting for a date are going to go down the drain if one of you doesn’t like the other person. Try to notice the signs of mutual attraction and make sure you’re not just texting each other for the sake of it. This will help you figure out what to say to your crush or which date text to send your crush, instead of going ahead with boring “I want to see you” texts.
Also, try to get information about things like how much they possibly like you, if they’re interested, and if they’re single or not. It’d be a bummer if you found out they’re dating someone while you’re on a “date” with them, that they assumed was a friendly meet-up.
Related Reading: 18 Early Dating Signs He Likes You
7. What’s their schedule like?
“Wow, you seem like a busy bee. So how do you spend your days?” is literally enough to get a grip on how busy they get during the week and when they’re free. Before you figure out how to set up a date over text, you must understand if and when they’re free enough to be able to go out on one with you.
This will help you come up with a great first-date idea that they’re more likely to say yes to. For example, if they’re a professional chef and work nights and you’ve got a 9-5, you know you’ll have to be a bit more creative than the good-old 8 PM dinner date. Here are a few text examples to get an idea of their schedule before a first date:
- Hi! I’ve been wanting to check out this new Mexican restaurant in town. Are you available for dinner next week? Let me know your schedule, and we can plan something together
- I really enjoy our conversations. I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk in the park or maybe catch a movie sometime. Let me know your availability so we can figure out a day
- It would be great to meet up soon. How’s this week looking for you?
8. Don’t be overly sexual
We know we told you to flirt while texting for a date, but make sure you don’t go overboard with it. Unless the feelings are mutual and the conversation has naturally led itself to… let’s just say “graphic” realms, you shouldn’t be coming on too strong sexually. Also, understand when to ask for a date after texting and keep in mind the comfort zone of your potential date.
9. Suggest interesting date ideas
You’ve been texting for a date for a while, and now comes the part where you have to cash in on it. This is the “make it or break it” moment of the whole thing, so make sure your date ideas aren’t boring. Whether you’re texting for a second date or a first, or just wondering what to say to your crush to take things to the next level, know that “I want to see you” messages won’t get you far.
You need to think of creative ways to ask someone on a date. A few fun first-date ideas can literally be the difference between a negative or a positive response. Instead of a boring “wanna hang out?”, here are a few texts you can work with:
- “I have two tickets to a stand-up comedy show this Sunday. Care to join me?”
- “Just wanted to say hi and see how your day is going. My shift just got canceled, and I’d love to go on an evening walk with you if you’re free”
- “I really enjoy talking to you. How about we continue the conversation over coffee this weekend?”
- “I’m terrible at bowling, but I have a feeling it would be a fun way for us to get to know each other better. Are you up for the challenge?”
- “I’ve been meaning to check out the new Korean restaurant downtown. Shall we make a date of it?”
10. Or take it up a notch and suggest something specific
The whole reason behind getting to know this person better was to make sure you come up with first-date ideas that cater to their likes. Are they a fitness junkie? Dust off your bicycle and suggest an early morning bike ride with them. Are they big on singing? Look for the best Karaoke places. Are they into Scientology? Maybe consider moving on…?
Jokes apart, make sure you suggest specific date ideas that they’d love to say yes to. If you keep pushing the coffee shop idea over and over again, you’ll end up texting for a month, but no date is going to come around any time soon.
11. Be confident
“Heyyy! So Peach Pit is coming to town… I know you like them, haha, maybe we could? I don’t know though haha! Let me know.” Maybe we could…what? All that text is going to do is confuse them to the point where they won’t even know what to respond with. And just like that, you’re now in Ghostville. Population: You.
Whether you’re looking at first-date text message examples, wondering how to ask someone on a date over text, or get a date in 5 short texts, confidence is key. A good rule to maintain confidence is: send out a cool first text, avoid bad grammar, and don’t take too long to respond. These are great ways to start a conversation with your crush over text.
“Hey, since you’re usually free on Thursday nights and I know you love art, want to go out on a date with me to this art exhibition downtown?” This is how you need to approach this situation. It doesn’t matter if you’re texting a girl for a date or making the first move on a guy, make sure they know it’s a date and what the plan is.
12. Make sure you give out more information
Texting for a month but no date yet? Sorry, but, “Me, you, drinks?” only works in the movies. You need to be a bit more specific than that. No, you don’t have to make an itinerary for them to refer to. If they’re interested in the date, a conversation about the specifics will take place naturally. That way, you’ll also be making the plan more official. So, make sure you let them know:
- What the plan is
- When you want to meet in person (specific time, please)
- What you’ll be doing there to have a good time with each other
- That it’s a date, not a friendly meet-up
13. Don’t be pushy
While you’re texting someone for a date, it’s important to strike a balance and avoid being pushy. Therefore, when your “Free tomorrow?” is met with a “Nope, a little busy. Sorry!”, try not to ask them the same question the very next day.
Some responses can indeed leave you wondering what your next move should be. After all, modern romance through text conversation can be tricky at times. But instead of losing hope, be aware of the following points:
- Not everyone will respond positively when you ask them out and that’s okay
- Do not go back and forth asking them to change their mind
- Stop thinking about the reasons why they rejected your date proposal
- Trying to meet in person to convince them further is a really bad idea
Related Reading: Why Would A Guy Reject You If He Likes You?
14. Keep texting etiquette in mind
Of course, you’re not going to be purposefully rude when you initiate contact with a woman via text (or a man), but it’s easier than you think to accidentally come off as rude over text. You can’t really gauge the tone of the person, and an attempt at being funny on texts might just seem like the rudest comment ever. Here are a few handy tips:
- Don’t come on too strong
- Avoid sending pictures of yourself very early in the conversation, unless asked for
- Try to mind your tone
- Refrain from being passive-aggressive
- Don’t make big decisions over text
- Remember not to text anything you wouldn’t say in person
- Know when to initiate a conversation
- Make sure you’re not trying to be funny at their expense
15. Don’t overthink it, go with the flow
Is it ok to ask a girl out over text? What are the things to ask a girl over text? What’s a really sweet thing to say to a guy you like? What is the best way to ask a girl on a date? So many thoughts, so many questions. Our texting advice to you in such a situation is not to overthink and just go with the flow.
You see, WhatsApp dating rules and tips on texting your crush can help a long way. But the whole world knows that it all boils down to how naturally the conversation flows and how well you two click. If you’re trying to force it, you’re working against the tide and even your best efforts may not hold up. But if everything falls into place, it isn’t going to feel like too much work. So don’t overthink their responses. Don’t worry too much about the rules of texting. A conversation that flows naturally is your best friend, so keep the mind games at bay.
- When you text someone for a date, try to be confident, avoid spelling mistakes, and do not take too long to reply
- You can add a dash of humor to make your crush smile while you’re texting them to go out with you
- Do not make big dating decisions over text and try to meet in person instead for serious conversations
- Instead of planning a boring date, come up with an innovative first date idea such as a museum tour or a pottery workshop
Once you use these tips and manage to be your charming self despite the nervousness, you’re going to be on your way toward a (hopefully) wonderful first date. If that date doesn’t work out, however, we’ll see you back here the next time a Tinder match excites you enough to warrant another “texting for dating” lesson.