The nervous excitement you experience when you first start getting attracted to someone usually keeps you daydreaming for days on end. The feelings may come out of thin air, or perhaps you two always had an aura of romance around you. But when you’re sure you’re experiencing mutual attraction instead of a one-sided thing, the nervous excitement is magnified tenfold.
Signs of mutual attraction can be easy to miss (especially if you’re a guy!). But the first time you do realize that there might really be something here, it can set you up on your very own will-they-won’t-they journey.
If you’re confused about what qualifies as a sign of mutual attraction or just want to catch them, we’re here to help you out. Let’s find out what mutual attraction really means and what the signs are!
What Is Mutual Attraction?
No, just because you two like rainy days and the mountains doesn’t mean there is a spark between the two of you. Despite how bad you want it, don’t let your irrational thinking make you believe that there is an unspoken mutual attraction where there actually is none. When you finally come to terms with it, you might be left binging on pizza and wine, trying to “Netflix and leave me alone” through the pain.
Mutual attraction occurs when both of you are undoubtedly attracted to each other, sexually and romantically. You’ll have an urge to be with this person, and you might just notice signs that they want the same thing. It’s drastically different from your platonic relationships, where you just feel comfort/calmness.
Where there’s mutual attraction, there will often be tension in the air. You’ll feel as though you’ll have something to lose and you’ll constantly be trying to impress them. Compare it to how you meet your best friend without even bothering to take a shower, and you’ll quickly understand the difference!
Let’s talk about what the signs of mutual attraction are, so you don’t end up completely ignoring a potentially glaring sign that someone is into you!
How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
Nothing is worse than when you realize days, weeks, or even years later that you missed the signs of flirting in that one conversation, and you failed to do anything about it. If only you could go back in time, and respond with something charming! Perhaps it’s a good thing you can’t go back in time, it would take you ages to come up with something charming to say anyway.
Flirting skills aside, let’s discuss the signs of mutual attraction so you don’t miss out on a potential romance where you think there could be one:
1. You both like spending time with each other
Perhaps you’ve told each other this, or it’s just painfully obvious. Whatever it is, make sure you’re not just making this up in your head. You’ll notice s/he likes spending time with you if they actively seek to, they’ve told you straight up, or if they’re walking all the way across the office to ask you for help with something anyone else can do.
When you two like spending time with each other, it’ll be noticeable through how you talk to each other. The conversations will be more engaging and you’ll be left thinking about them long after they’re finished!
Related Reading: Do I Love Her? 30 Signs That Surely Say So!
2. You really listen when you two talk
Their responses are never along the lines of “oh..that’s crazy”, “oh, really?” or even a conversation killing “Okay”. Unlike your Zoom meetings, you don’t want this conversation to end. You really engage yourself and you see them doing the same thing. You never have to worry about how to start a conversation since it just comes so naturally to you. As a result, you two have conversations that stand out from the rest of the mindless chatter you’re forced to take part in throughout the day.
3. You make each other laugh
Without really trying to, you two connect so well that you just end up making each other laugh. This is usually a great sign of compatibility between two people if they have the same sense of humor. If you have inside jokes which annoy your friends to an ungodly extent, you know you might just have something special with this person!
4. You’ve hinted at flirting
Laughing together, having engaging conversations, sharing the same interests can all be signs of friendship as well. But if you two have flirted with each other or have at least hinted towards doing so, you know something more than a friendship might be waiting for you.
It doesn’t have to be a straightforward flirtatious comment, it could even be something edging towards being flirty. Again, be careful not to misconstrue kindness for flirting. “That sweater looks nice on you!” is NOT flirting.
5. In a group of people, you two talk to each other the most
Be it a group of three or ten people, you two mostly talk to each other. It then becomes painfully obvious that you’re the person they’d rather talk to when there’s a group of people with you. When this happens, it’s only a matter of time before all your friends simultaneously start teasing you two.
6. Prolonged eye contact
In the movies, all it takes is 6 seconds of eye contact before the charming protagonists partake in a passionate kiss. While love in movies vs real life is a lot different, prolonged eye contact can sometimes suggest the same thing. Your eyes may linger on each other’s gaze longer than they do with other people. In a group, you’ll find yourself only looking at this person and they’ll be mostly looking at you too.
7. You find excuses to spend time with each other
Finding excuses to spend time together sounds like this: “Yeah, I’m just headed there. Hop on in, I’ll drop you!” when it’s actually a 5-mile detour you’ll have to take. But hey, splashing out cash on some gas is worth it when there could be signs of mutual attraction at work, right?
It could be something as stupid as seeking fashion advice you’re never going to follow, or being asked to fix a lamp you know nothing about. It’s just a reason to meet you (awww!).
8. Their demeanor changes when they’re with you
Maybe he’s kinder with you, maybe she’s trying harder to have a more engaging conversation with you. While it can be pretty obvious if this person’s demeanor completely changes when they’re with you, it could just as easily all be in your head. To confirm this theory, ask a friend about it. A third person will be able to deliver an impartial judgment, so you’ll know if this person is trying extra hard to be nice to you!
Related Reading: Am I In Love With My Best Friend? 15 Signs That Say So!
9. Notice their body language with you
Body language can be a very solid indicator of what a person is feeling but not conveying through words. If they’re blushing, breathing fast, opening up their body to you by not crossing their arms, they could all be signs of mutual attraction. Body language signs of attraction can tell you all you need to know if you want to figure out whether there’s a spark between the two of you.
10. You see them making an effort to make you smile
Despite the natural connection and organic laughter, you can sometimes notice s/he’s making more of an effort to make you smile than with others. If they’re always trying to make you smile, make you laugh in whatever way possible, at the very least you know that they care about your happiness. Or, they could be an aspiring stand-up comedian too, trying out their set on you.
11. Your friends actually do tease you two
Your friends around you will be the first to notice any signs of mutual attraction between you two. How they choose to convey it, is entirely up to them, of course. Our bet is they’re going to go in no holds barred, making fun of you two the next time you’re all together. Leaving you shy and blushing bright enough to power two small bulbs!
12. You can confide in each other
Naturally, when your conversations are engaging, you’ll feel a sense of comfort with this person, as they will with you. Hence, you might find yourself confiding in each other, telling each other your secrets and things you might not tell anyone else. You feel as though a safe space has been formed, void of judgment and insecurities.
When this is coupled with sexual tension, the mutual attraction will shine through as clear as day. If you’re still unable to spot it, we hope a friend will knock some sense into you!
13. There have been hints of physical intimacy
This is undoubtedly the biggest sign of unspoken mutual attraction. It could be anything from standing within close proximity of each other to finding a reason to touch each other. You could be sitting close to each other or just find any excuse you can to be as close as possible. When this happens between two people, there could also be palpable sexual tension.
14. You’ve heard rumors of them asking around about you
It’s not the most reliable sign, we agree, but it’s a sign nonetheless. Undeniably, there’s a lot of gossip that goes around in the office. But if reliable friends at your workplace have told you a little s/he was asking around about you, you know you very well could have yourself a case of mutual attraction between coworkers.
Don’t fall for any odd rumor you hear though. You don’t want to imagine a future together based on some ill-placed rumor. Before you know it, you’re being rejected in her/his DMs!
15. You mimic each other’s mannerisms
A clear sign of mutual attraction is when you two start talking similarly, using the same tone of voice or even saying the same things. If there’s something you say a lot and you catch this person saying it too, they’re subconsciously mimicking how you talk.
This could involve things like using similar hand gestures, speaking in the same tone or the same manner, the whole nine yards. Even if you don’t notice it immediately, the people around you will notice it almost instantly. Signs of chemistry between you two will be hard to miss once you’re copying how you talk to each other.
16. You miss each other
This one’s hard to know when you’re speculating, but if s/he drops you a text every now and then or gives you a call, you know they’re at least thinking about you. Or, they could just be bored!
If you’re one of those freaks of nature that doesn’t lack confidence and is straightforward, you could half-jokingly ask this person “Oh so you can’t live without me, huh? Bet you miss me”.
Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love
17. Notice if they dress up to see you
If this person cares about what you think about them, they’ll most probably be wearing their Sunday best every time you’re around. Or at the very least, they’ll take special care of how they look that day. Keep an eye out for if they’re making a special effort. Especially if they don’t otherwise care much for fashion.
18. There’s mutual attraction if you can just feel it
Lastly, we’d advise you to go with your gut. Chances are you already know if there’s an unspoken mutual attraction or not, and you’re just trying to beat around the bush. If you can feel a physical attraction, see that you two have engaging conversations and always have him/her at the top of your chats, you already know you’re good to go!
Being certain about whether a person is into you or not can be tricky. You want to make sure they’re into you lest you jump into something that doesn’t exist. But you also don’t want to spend too much time pondering this question, in case they just move on! Through these signs, we hope you can figure out if mutual attraction really does exist. Or you know, you could just ask them, maybe!
Yes! You can absolutely feel a sense of mutual attraction when it’s there. The biggest signs of mutual attraction include: being in close physical proximity, having engaging conversations, making each other laugh, mimicking each other’s mannerisms, flirting through words/touches.
Most times, you’ll be able to tell when someone is attracted to you. You’ll see them putting more of an effort to be kinder with you. Their demeanor may change around you and they’ll try a little bit harder to make you laugh. Once the physical touches start flowing both ways, it’ll be easier to sense you two are attracted to each other!