I had heard of Indian wife affair stories. How housewives got involved in affairs and had a rollicking time when their husbands were away at work. In fact, I had read in the magazines extramarital affairs stories of married Indian women at the workplace and how some women, who were otherwise very demure, unleashed their inner Goddess in online chat rooms.
My name is Rinki. Here is my story. My life was all good. It was not only because of my marriage to a wonderful husband, Dheer or a lovely son Pranjal, but people always said that I’m a lucky girl. Good parents, nice in-laws, successful husband, comfortable living, nothing ever felt missing in my life. But then things changed.
When I first met Rian and found myself drawn towards him, I kept asking myself, why am I getting so greedy? Who wants to disturb a comfortable and cosy life for the sake of a fresh new crush?
Rian was married to Deepshikha and they had a lovely daughter. Their marriage seemed as perfect as ours and therefore I could manage my emotions and didn’t want to express them. If I had done that I felt we would have ended up being part of those extramarital affairs stories that come with consequences.Â
As told to Dr Sanjeev Trivedi
(Names changed to protect identities)
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The Beginning Of An Indian Wife Affair Story
I was naive. I had no clue how an affair began. Even if I wanted to stay away from one it found me. Love finds a way or so I thought then. My heart missed a beat when on my phone I saw a message from Rian, expressing his love for me.
Before I could make up my mind to say no, I found myself strongly attached to Rian emotionally.
After our relationship took off on texting and I didn’t even know then that what I was into was called emotional infidelity. We started meeting frequently and cherished every moment together.
Every time I felt guilty about Dheer, who is an absolute gentleman as a husband, I would want to withdraw from the relationship. My son Pranjal’s innocent face also used to multiply my guilt.
But every time I made an attempt to call off the affair, Rian would say, “Why bring our families between us?”
The good times continued and my dependence on Rian for the emotional and physical fulfilment kept growing. I had no clue then about the complications that would take over my life soon.
Our extramarital affair story came to a halt
After Dheer, Pranjal and I returned from a short vacation, I found Rian wouldn’t take my call, nor reply to my messages. Sensing something wrong, I started getting restless and soon I received a brief call from Rian, saying the affair had to stop.
I was so shocked to hear his emotionless and business-like voice. How could he be so insensitive? I wanted to shake him, throw loads of abuse at him. But he wasn’t available.
A few days later he called again, and cried saying, “Unless he got my cooperation, he might have to commit suicide.” And my cooperation meant forgetting that there was a relationship between us. He was hugely burdened with guilt and was seemingly worried about the future of his daughter and the image of the family.
I was totally shattered
I felt totally shattered. My mind became numb. I lost interest in the world around me. Dheer and my mother-in-law would cajole me and ask what was wrong but I didn’t have the physical strength to speak. Mentally I was turning into a wreck. I had heard of extramarital affairs stories having an ugly demise, I didn’t think mine would end like this too. Was I wrong in loving Rian madly?
All I wanted to know was the reason for this suddenly changed behaviour in the man whom I loved more than anybody else in the world.
But Rian would say nothing. All he did was to keep repeating his words that for the sake of family and for the sake of everybody’s happiness this relationship had to end. So all the reasons he gave me for having the affair had no meaning now?
He always brushed off my guilt
When I used to tell him about the guilt I suffered, he’d brushed it off. Now he had swung 180 degrees and spoke the language I used to speak. I didn’t want to take this lying down.
I felt like my love story had become like one of those hapless Indian wife affair stories where she was at the receiving end. I threatened that I wouldn’t leave him, come what may. He disconnected the phone abruptly and blocked me.
I discovered how something which is not morally correct, could also produce liking and longing to the extent of devastating you. The more I thought of him, the more my desire for him grew.
I felt cheated, used and helpless. Suddenly one day he called up to tell me that his wife had gone to her parents’ place, never to come back and taken their daughter with her.
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Rian discovered his wife’s affair
Ours became one of the most complicated extramarital affairs stories. Rian discovered that his wife Deepshikha was having an affair with someone. When he challenged her, she threatened to end their marriage.
She called him a dry and insensitive brute, living with whom was a punishment. She said he was incapable of loving anyone and was living a robotic life. The conflicts got out of proportion and she left for her parents’ home.
He was shattered and crying like a child admitted that it was karma, paying him back in the same coin. He wanted to repent his misdeeds which he believed had resulted in bad karma which eventually spoiled their marriage.
I was unable to accept any of these theories or stories. All I wanted was to have him back in my life. I don’t believe time heals. Now whichever way I look at our relationship, I’m unable to accept the fact that it is over. I’m silently suffering, waiting for him to come back.
Now I am the heroine of one of those Indian wife affair stories I used to read. It’s been a few months now but I still live in hope. He hasn’t wanted to meet me yet.
I’ve forgiven my husband for his affair but I still don’t feel at peace
She herself is a shameless crook & cheater and cries about cheating by other. Once soul is given human body, God will test every one either with difficult or tempting situations or both. She succumbed and a cheater for this birth. She has proved such souls does not deserve human body may be better with animal body for that animals have no boundaries, no shame , no self respect, no dignity and finally no morals or dharma. Even one keeps a veg biryani or veg pulav near a pig, a pig only chooses filth for eating & such is the case with one night stands and affairs.
Some people born only for destroying other innocent lives. Why an innocent husband deserve a shameless, characterless, crook who takes pride in being used by others , shares body to others like a prostitute for fulfilling her desires while acting drama at home. They stick to the marriage like a parasite sticking to the body and do shameless acts by manipulating husband trust.
Such people should be flushed out from marriage like how one flushes out toilet? Such wives who stay in the marriage and conduct selective prostitution (pick and choose type with selective persons for fulfilling lust by either affairs or one nightstands) don’t deserve any mercy, May be it is better to have a pet at home than having a shameless characterless cheater in one’s life.
If she is human, if she has any shame, self respect and if she got such qualities from her parents, she should disclose to her husband & son and face consequences. There is no problem as she loves the other man more than any one else in the world why she requires a paper family for her. If her husbands throws out her no problem, she can marry Raion or she can become a keep or mistress to raion. For getting love , one need not marry. She can divorce her husband & become a mistress to him after she wants Raion love & why to destroy innocent lives here. But definitely Dhiraj does not deserve a prostitute in his family for sure.
You should forget him and love your husband with full heart. Otherwise you will loose a nice family and kid.
@Pooja
I think you are right in your views. Cheating and then crying out a river, blaming everyone else except self, shows cowardice. I agree there.
@Sangeeta Nair:
I would wish God give her strength to tell the truth about her affair with Rian to her husband, Dheer and son Pranjal. God should also give her enough strength to face any humiliation and dire consequences as a retribution for her immoral behavior.
@Dr. Trivedi
Sir, is it true to assume that most married Indian men and women are prone to extra marital affair, and they also are immune to any sense of guilt?
My question is: why married people, supposedly in a monogamous relationship, cheat? Is this because that the current society is teaching us to seek instant gratification? Or are the parents neglecting to teach us what is right and what is wrong? Either way, it becomes commonplace to accept that greed is good and a small or big fling wouldn’t do as much harm as moral values prohibit. But it always ends up devastating the relationship: GREED.
Understand the feelings she has for him. Sometimes we don’t end to make lot of decisions emotionally which hurts badly in return.Time heals things.
The lady has the liberty to desire for another man as till now her husband has not caught her. Once he catches her, and asks her to leave, there will be another post with something like “my desires ruined my life”
I think that the lady suffers from OCD and needs psychological help.
She definitely is over obsessed in the relationship.
Can empathize her condition…God give her strength and purpose of life..Right now she wouldn’t really understand anything….let time take it course …..She is a sensible lady and would soon get over it….
yes she is and she will overcome
@Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi:
With all due respect, that comment of yours appears patronizing a cheating wife.
In my view, sympathizing with a cheater, trying to sympathetically understand his/her problems, is a covert way to justify immorality. Of course, the modern society does not have any separate definition of immorality. So what is illegal is viewed as immoral. Such myopic view leads to condoning of extramarital affairs which is surely immoral but not illegal.