10 Funny, Silly, Ridiculous Reasons Why Extramarital Affairs End

Extramarital Affairs | |
Extra Marital Affairs Crumbled
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An Indian loo, bikini wax or the advances of the sex-starved mom can be reasons why extramarital affairs come to an end. This might sound funny, silly or ridiculous to you, but it is true.

We overrate permanency in relationships. Sometimes a lover is just supposed to be that, a lover. And when that too runs its course, they have to be said goodbye to. We may feel relief, pain, or simply a soft feeling of having had a good meal. But the fact remains, most affairs end.

However intense and all-consuming a lover may seem in the throes of passion, once the tide wanes and the two have found an exit, they are keen to clean the debris and rather hurriedly.

It is said affairs never end well and there is some iota of truth in it. Affairs do have a limited life, unless we take into account the rare lifelong affairs that also exist. But typically affairs have a short life span or may last for sometime during midlife crisis.

Collected below are some reasons that turned out to be the last straw because of which the affair crumbled. In some cases, they were as flaky as the straw, literally! These are not exactly a list of top reasons why extramarital affairs end but these are reasons that can make your jaw drop or you may even giggle uncontrollably. Then don’t blame us.

10 Reasons Why These Extramarital Affairs Ended

People talk about reasons for starting an affair but very few talk about why the affair ended. The extramarital affair end hint is always there you just have to know it. Here are some people who give us some of the weirdest, hilarious and even unbelievable reasons for ending their affair

1. Bikini wax

He liked me bikini-waxed. After some time the pain was not worth the pleasure! Rationale- Hubby and I are comfortable with each other’s harvest! You can say our affair lost to the pain of a bikini wax. Was it worth it? After the first orgasms ended, it wasn’t. After that, it was all routine and you can’t go through so much pain for that.

Yes, affairs have limited life. And if you have to fall into a routine it’s better to get into it with the hubby who means less pain. Literally.

2. The hotel room bill

Every time he took his wallet to pay for the room, I knew it was a considerable part of his monthly pay. He smiled at check-out too but I could see through the heroic effort.

Related Reading: The Secret Behind How An Extramarital Affair Starts And How It Ends

Rationale: Yes, for a while his hundreds were even more valuable than my husband’s lakhs, but then how long can Old Monk compete against Ron Zacapa! Affairs never end well when you choose five stars over shady motels.

3. The orgasm

He said, “Now, you are coming!” Mister, women can’t orgasm like that. You would need to use a lot more weapons in your armor and a lot more control over your prized one for me to orgasm.

Rationale: I thought if I do not fake with hubby why with him?

If you are having an affair it’s the lust and the orgasm that comes first and the rest comes later. If you don’t get the orgasm, extramarital affairs fail. Period.

4. Never understood family time

He was single and too needy, despite repeated requests to understand the sanctity of ‘weekends’ in a marriage he would text or call at 8 P.M. dinner time just because ‘he missed me too much’!

Related Reading: Surviving An Affair – 12 Steps To Reinstate Love And Trust In A Marriage

Rationale – Only, if you are walking on egg shells will you understand what the other goes through as the phone beeps at that family hours! Besides the stress was giving me early wrinkles too. My skin comes first. Doesn’t it?

5. Older guy issues ended extramarital affair

The last time passion swept us he almost had a heart attack. Rationale: The dilemma of sticking and calling for help and risk getting exposed as against letting him die was too stressful!

Better not to put oneself in that catch-22 situation again. This would have been a pure lose-lose. If you are dating an older guy who knows all your right buttons but ends up giving you a heart attack scare often, it should be one of the top reasons why an extramarital affair should end. Just run. Yes, just run away.

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6. The massager is better

He said let’s check into a room for the night. I agreed thinking of candles and rose-petals strewed on the bed. He called and said it’s a decent room in a hotel, big and airy but it has an Indian toilet. And then he asked, “Can we go Dutch?” Masturbation can be a perfectly valid substitute at times.

Rationale: I thought of the Indian toilet sitting on my haunches, and then opted for changing batteries of my self-pleasure aid. This is why women should masturbate.

7. The nudes exchange finished the extramarital affair

I liked how he took care of me in parties, made sure my glass was never empty and sang in the sweetest voice. And then we started sexting like pros and exchanging pictures.

Once he sent me a picture of him nude and in that he was half-mast! Rationale: WTF! The extramarital affair ended even before it took off.

8. The bisexual

We had the fun flirting game going, back and forth, I complimented her on her hair and she looked at me when a certain line played from a song.

Related Reading: Accepting Bisexuality: Story Of A Single Bisexual Woman

And then I realized she was buttering me up for my wife! How could I not tell she was into women? Rationale- Later I got to know she was bi! Still felt taken advantage of!

9. Not the husband, please

The lady was so besotted with the sexual experiences that she wanted to involve her ‘open minded’ husband in it – as an observer!

Rationale: It’s NOT okay, to meet the husband of your lover, regardless of how much ever large and open hearted he is! What if he was into men? This kind of affairs never end well. Beware!

10. The mother of the girl

We had a great thing going, till the mother of the girl got involved. Literally. She threatened disclosure to my wife, unless she was also kept ‘happy.’ Consequences of an affair, I guess?

Rationale: It was physically too exhausting, not to mention the mental stress of performance under duress. The mom and the daughter! I had to go very, very far away to save myself.

And so willy-nilly they were back to their partners.

Most affairs end and affairs never end well. So it’s best to quit when you are still in a position to. No matter how ridiculous or silly your reason might be to end an affair, find a way out of it.

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