Counselling

How can I deal with Unwanted Advice After My Divorce?

She is a divorced woman and she has resigned from her job to relax for some time. But relatives are making her life difficult
how can I stop people giving advice after my divorce

I am 32-year-old divorced lady.  I don’t have kids. I stay with my parents. My query is a bit different. I was working all these days but I resigned recently since I was overworked. I am relaxing at home now. I am trying to come to terms with my life after my divorce. But I have these peculiar so-called aunties who annoy me all the time by giving unwanted advice. I guess these are the social problems a woman faces after divorce.

After my divorce I am hating all the unsolicited advice

Already I have gone through a lot. But they keep irritating me. When I complain to my mom, she says they are your well wishers and you need to take things positively. Although they do help us whenever needed but this attitude irritates me. They are not educated much. They advise me but they praise and pamper other relatives of mine, who are of my age. They compare the happy married life of these cousins to my life. I feel like a divorced woman who is always critcised and excluded from social life. I really have no space to breathe after my divorce. I need advice to deal with this situation. Please help.

I am getting unwanted advice after my divorce and it irritates me
Living alone after Divorce Image source

Dear Lady,

It is rather unfortunate you had to undergo all this. I understand the emotions you feel when people try to offer unsolicited advice. But here is what you could do.

Understand the situation you are in

You are living with your parents and are divorced. You have no kids but you are their child. They are answerable to the society. No matter how independent or forward thinking person you might be, this stigma is a reality in India. There is no escaping these people advising you. You’ll have to learn to cope with this.

Get a job or start a business

It is okay to rest and recuperate for some time. But you have to understand that doing nothing may not be a good idea. This adds to your social and economic problems. Please take up a less stressful job or start some business. When you get busy gainfully, you will feel better.

What do you want from your life?

Please ask yourself as to what it is you want from your life?  The answer to this all important question will offer more clarity in your life.

When you start working, you might find a new person to share your life with if that is what you wish for. Your parents would be less burdened too financially. You would be active socially.

Please get a hold over your life.

Take care

Kavita Panyam

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