When you think of the word ‘mature’, do you think of slightly weathered skin, strands of white hair, good quality muted clothes? Or do you picture a person with a gentle demeanor behaving responsibly, irrespective of their age? Either way, you are not wrong. Our analysis of what a mature woman wants in a relationship depends on both of these perceptions.
What mature women want in a relationship is not very different from what any mature person would want from their romantic partner. Since their outlook toward life is alike, and the importance they give to core values hits a match, both men and women who are mature, more or less, find similar things attractive in a potential partner and a relationship.
Let us first take a look at the signs of a mature woman. Who is she? How can you tell if a woman is mature? How does a mature woman behave in a relationship? The next step of course would be – so, what does she want?
Who Is Considered A Mature Woman?
It is not uncommon for us to use sentences like, “She is quite mature for her age”, or, “He is over 50, but so immature!” Maturity, technically, refers to being physically fully developed. This is why we use it for a plant, a fruit, a cat, as much as for people. But we have come to understand maturity not just in regards to physical growth but also in mental and emotional growth.
It is usually understood that a mature woman is independent and confident about what she wants from a relationship. She understands the nuances of a great relationship. She knows the difference between compromising on her values and being accommodative of others. She is equipped with the emotional maturity to be adept at conflict resolution strategies. She is forthcoming when it comes to sharing her dreams, time, space, and future plans but she is not dependent on someone else to fulfill them for her.
This was made clear from two different studies that focused on dating for older women vs dating for younger women. A study, Dating for Older Women: Experiences and Meanings of Dating in Later Life, published in the Journal of Women and Aging, found that older women’s attitudes toward dating were directed more toward their own needs. Fun and companionship with independence for oneself echoed through the study.
In contrast, a different study published as What Do Women Want? A Qualitative Study of Dating that interviewed women in their 20s pointed at starkly different motivations for dating. For the younger women, the reasons were more focused on the other person than their own needs. In addition, it is noticeable in this study that only 8 out of 45 women in their 20s listed maturity as a preferable trait in their partner.
So, who should be considered a mature woman? And does age play a role here? Age does help us define maturity as seen in these two studies. Our expectations of what kind of emotional quotient a physically mature or a person older in age should have dictate our idea of a person mature in their attitude.
23 Things Mature Women Want In Relationships
There couldn’t be a better way to put what mature women want in a relationship than as stated in the aforementioned study. “These women know the type of person with whom they enjoy spending time, and they know how they want to be treated. This is different from when they were adolescents and young adults in part because they feel that they know themselves better now. (…) Finding a man who is interesting with whom they can go out and have fun and from whom they can be treated with kindness and respect are the goals voiced in these interviews.”
If you are wondering if it is difficult finding or impressing a mature woman, or even, romancing a mature woman, we think it depends on your level of maturity. Understanding what mature women want in a relationship is not rocket science. If your maturity doesn’t match hers, this might be difficult for you. Regardless, let us pick simple and recognizable things that mature women want in a relationship:
1. A relationship free of drama – Signs of a mature woman
Are you looking for signs you are dating a mature woman? The more easy and fun your relationship feels, the more mature your partner is. A mature woman wants to stay away from unnecessary drama. She asks that healthy relationship boundaries be laid out, she promises to respect them and expects them to be followed.
The Journal of Women and Aging study, Dating for Older Women found that companionship and fun were the primary motivations older women had for dating. Most women were not interested in marriage or remarriage, wanting to have independence over their life. One participant of the study, Peggy, says almost nonchalantly, “I’ve dated a lot of nice guys. It’s fun. It’s nice to have somebody to go out with.”
Peggy’s attitude puts it in perspective. What a mature woman wants in a relationship, mature in age or attitude, is an easy fun drama free companionship.
2. A mature woman wants sincere effective communication
Since she is good at communicating her feelings in uncomplicated words, a drama-free relationship is a real possibility with a mature woman. A mature woman understands that a relationship cannot thrive without communication. It is not only essential to be on the same page with her partner regarding countless things in a relationship, but it is also directly responsible for resolving issues and conflicts.
She likes a man who knows how to recognize his emotions and can communicate them effectively. She also wants a partner who can nurture with her a safe space to allow each of them to express their emotions freely. If they find themselves lacking they are quick to prioritize it and work on improving communication in the relationship.
3. She wants a partner she can talk to
“There were concerns of being bored (…) or being forced to talk about things in which they had no interest. They were not willing to do those things just for the sake of having a date,” the Dating For Older Women study says.
While the last point was about the ability to communicate complaints, desires, and address conflicts, this one is about the ability to share conversations with someone. Mature women look for mature, interesting conversations in relationships, irrespective of the topic.
These may be deeper conversations about future goals. These can also be about the latest fashion trends. It helps if both partners share similar interests or hobbies. But different interests do not inhibit conversation. If at all, with a partner who knows how to talk it is eager to learn about new things.
Related Reading: 35 Bonding Questions For Couples To Strengthen A Relationship
4. A mature woman wants someone she can trust
What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a trustworthy partner. She would like to be able to depend on him. Are you thinking of sharing household duties and bigger responsibilities? Yes! That too. But also, someone who can simply keep a secret. She wants a reliable person, someone who has her back.
Someone who is trying their luck at impressing a mature woman should know that she wants an emotionally mature person by her side. He should understand the various components of trust in a relationship. Someone, who knows that irrespective of the temporary status of their relationship – a fight, a disagreement – all that aside, they are a team.
5. She craves honesty – Mature woman characteristic
A mature woman would want complete honesty from you. To her, it is not a far-fetched expectation. After all, it is easy to be honest if you can trust your partner and are sure that the communication channel in the relationship is faultless. We are not limiting our reference to emotional cheating, physical or financial infidelity, and the like. Even white lies in relationships can be a turn-off for a mature woman.
That her partner cannot tell her the truth is disrespectful to her. She doesn’t like the presumption that she could not handle the truth. If the woman you are with hates it when you lie to try to spare her feelings, you can take it as one of the signs you are dating a mature woman.
Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are Dating An Immature Person And What Should You Do
6. She wants a non-judgmental relationship
Mature conversations in a relationship are possible only in a judgment-free setting. Honest, clear communication, which is so foundational for a mature relationship, is possible when partners exhibit deep trust in each other. This trust cannot be built if partners cannot freely express their deepest thoughts.
A commitment to building a safe space for communication is what a mature woman wants in a relationship. A non-judgmental relationship is sacrosanct for any mature person.
7. A mature woman likes a kind and humble man
A humble man is extremely attractive to a mature woman in a relationship. After all, humility shows that a man is not a self-centered Mr. Know-It-All. It shows that he can accept his mistakes and improve. He is willing to listen to the opinion of others. He can put others’ interests before his own.
Humility and selflessness naturally make a man kind. Did you know, the Ideal Partner Survey, a collaboration between Clue, the University of Göttingen, and MyONE Condoms, interviewed 64,000 women and found that 90% of them rated kindness as the most desirable quality in a man. 3,800 women interviewed in the survey were ages 40 and above. With a 90% weightage, it can suffice that what mature women want in a relationship are kindness and humility.
8. She wants to nurture a multidimensional idea of physical intimacy
If you are romancing a mature woman, you would have noticed that she is not wound up on a uni-dimensional idea of intimacy, which is limited to sexual intercourse. Her focus is on increasing physical intimacy which can be shared in many more ways than just under the sheets.
Holding hands, engaging in physical ways of recreation with her partner, giving a massage, a surprise kiss, rubbing the back, sitting closely, looking in the eye when talking, and putting the phone away when listening are various ways through which mature people ensure that they remain physically intimate with their partner. This is what mature women want in a relationship.
9. She wants to nurture other forms of intimacy
When we think of intimacy, we mostly think of its physical aspect. But there are other dimensions to feeling intimate with a significant other. Emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and experiential are some of the other domains of feeling intimate with your partner. A mature woman is aware of this and expects to explore these with equal dedication.
She wants to travel together, share experiences, have meaningful conversations, engage in common hobbies, and learn something new with her partner to connect with them at a deeper level. Each of these serves to foster various types of intimacy.
10. Mature woman in a relationship wants space to grow
Space for personal growth is what a mature woman wants in a relationship. Along with that, she certainly wouldn’t mind a little extra helping of motivation to be better. A partner and a relationship which encourages you to nurture your passion, hone your skills, work on your issues and be better is a dream for many. 86.5% of the women interviewed by the Ideal Partner Survey, picked supportiveness among the most desirable qualities in a potential partner.
A mature woman cannot compromise on this requirement. She is conscious of a toxic living environment and will neither tolerate insincere flattery nor spiteful criticism. She wants to be in an honest relationship with someone who doesn’t shy from appreciating her strengths and gently underlining her shortcomings so that she can work on herself.
11. She wants to learn something new
This willingness to improve comes from easily recognizable mature woman characteristics – self-confidence and a sense of security. Only a person who is comfortable in their skin and is proud and confident looks to improve themselves and learn new things.
Not only is a mature woman passively open to learning new things, but she is also willing to add to her arsenal of skill-set and qualities. A partner who can provide her with something aspirational is an extremely appealing prospect to her. A philosophy worth imbibing, a quality worth emulating, a fun quirk worth borrowing – this is what mature women want in a relationship.
Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem In A Woman You Are Dating
12. She wants someone who can take responsibility for his actions
Have you ever snapped at your partner for a tiny issue, only to realize later that the issue was created due to an oversight from your end? Like locking yourself out, losing your wallet or keys, or forgetting an appointment. Did you have the courage to apologize when you found out that the keys were in your bag, the appointment noted in your diary?
Being able to take responsibility for yourself is a foundational quality one should never compromise on in a mature relationship. No wonder a mature woman looks for a man who accepts his mistakes, takes responsibility for his actions, commits to improvement, and follows up on the promises he makes.
13. She wants to be able to respect her partner
Love is a dynamic emotion forever changing. It is a conscious act. The act of love. On the other hand, respect is an underlying constant that is the basis of a relationship filled with love. A mature woman is not ignorant of these subtle differences. She knows that love becomes possible when a person respects their partner for who they are.
What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a partner who is worth her respect. She may respect him for his intelligence, his capacity for love and empathy, the way he carries himself, his life journey, his charitable nature, his love for animals, his future goals, or any other value or quality. These are just a few examples and not an exhaustive list. Really, what a mature woman wants in a relationship is to be able to look up to the person she is with.
14. She wants to feel respected by her partner
Similarly, she wants to be respected by her partner for the quality she possesses. It is a critical emotional need. A woman when respected by her partner is treated as an equal. Her judgment and wisdom are valued. Her opinions are sought. Her time and effort are appreciated.
Why wouldn’t a woman want all that in her relationship? A mature woman recognizes this. That is why she looks to be valued, appreciated, and respected by her partner.
Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship
15. A mature woman is not desperate for a relationship
The Dating For Older Women study says, “‘I am not that desperate’ was a chorus repeated time and again.” In the study, a participant, Sally, says, “I thought if a good one came along, then I would be open to it, but not just anything with anybody.”
A mature woman doesn’t want to be in a codependent relationship. She wants her personal space and is ready to give her partner his. For this, it is essential that her partner likes his own company and doesn’t entirely rely on her to pass his time.
Some amount of willingness to share time and experiences is not only tolerable but desirable. What she does not like is a relationship in which partners feel the urge to spend every waking moment with each other and anything else makes them feel insecure.
16. She wants someone who has a life of their own
A woman protective of her own time and personal space would naturally love it if her partner also had a life of their own. This would take the pressure off her to be her partner’s only source of companionship. After all, it is unreasonable to expect one person to fulfill all relationship roles.
A mature woman understands this and loves it when her partner can have a social life of his own, while she utilizes that time the way she wants to. Such practices also bring novelty to a relationship as the two partners come together with fresh stories and experiences to share with each other.
17. She wants someone who understands what is important
To be able to have an objective view of the larger picture is a respectable quality mature people possess. And a mature woman appreciates it so much. She wants in her man the ability to separate the essential from the non-essential. The important from the trivial. Far-sightedness from egocentric short-term vision.
What mature women want from a relationship is this clarity. She wants a partner who prioritizes the health and future of the relationship over personal wins in arguments. This quality helps her trust him to make important decisions on their behalf when needed.
18. She wants a man who is professionally and financially secure
A mature woman would not like to waste her time with someone who would be envious of her professional or financial status. An insecure man would compare his success to his partner’s, unable to see how the two of them can work in partnership. This shortsightedness would be a sign he is not trustworthy and is detrimental to the prosperity that the two of them can enjoy together.
Only a man who is mature and secure with what he has would allow his partner to flourish and grow. Companionship with a man who is proud of himself and the achievements and success of the woman he is with, no matter how much more or less she earns, is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
19. A mature woman appreciates a man who is secure in bed
Similarly, men with conservative ideas around women, desire, and libido are a big turn-off. A mature woman wants a partner in bed, not a master (unless that is part of a sexual fetish). If a woman is assertive, active, and vocal about her desires, you should treat these as signs you are dating a mature woman.
A great sexual partnership stems from confidence in oneself, unshakeable trust in the partner, and honest communication. A mature woman wants such a partnership. She wants to have a safe space for communication of desires, devoid of any judgment.
20. She wants a man who understands consent
Consent should ideally be such an easy concept to understand, yet so many people fail to prioritize it in their relationships and intimate connections. If you truly want an answer to “how does a mature woman behave in a relationship”, you cannot overlook the role of consent. A mature person doesn’t force their wishes, desires, or body on the other person. They don’t manipulate or pressurize their partner into doing something the partner was unwilling to do.
A mature woman, like any person, wants to feel safe and respected in her relationship. She wants her partner to understand the nuances of enthusiastic consent. Be respectful of consent. Observe, listen, ask, and communicate. Do it actively and continually. That is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
Related Reading: What Is Abuse In A Relationship? What Are The Signs Of Abuse?
21. A mature woman appreciates flexibility
Signs of a mature woman include flexibility and accommodative nature. Under-confident, insecure people show obstinate tendencies. A mature woman would keep herself miles away from a narcissistic boyfriend, a person who is egotistically stubborn about getting his way or proving himself right. Such self-serving behavior proves to be detrimental to any partnership.
A mature woman realizes this and makes sure she is with someone who can accept when he has erred or is ready to accommodate the suggestions of others when someone else has a better solution than his. She wants her partner to have the ability to compromise and think of the common good.
22. She wants loyalty
A mature woman expects her partner to be loyal to her. Infidelity of all kinds would be unacceptable to her. A mature woman understands that cheating is not limited to sexual cheating. Emotional cheating or financial infidelity too are signs of a relationship crisis. She wants a man who understands these nuances.
A great partnership requires active effort by both members. A man who displays loyalty, not only toward his partner but also toward the relationship, would be willing to make the effort or do the work to benefit their partnership. A mature woman wants a man who is committed to this value.
23. A mature woman is looking for a relationship of equals
It is clear by now that what mature women want in a relationship is a partnership of equals. A sincere appreciation and respect for your partner, valuing their judgment, valuing the relationship, being nice to people and things that are important to your partner, and being a person worthy of respect – these are some of the qualities that appeal to her.
A mature woman would like to practice these values. At the same time, she expects her partner to exhibit the same values in his life. She truly wants a modern relationship of equals. Like we said before, she wants a partnership and not a relationship with a slave or a master.
- Maturity, technically, refers to being physically fully developed. But we have come to understand maturity not just in regards to physical growth but also in mental and emotional growth
- When calling a woman “mature” one could refer to an older (in age) woman, as well as any woman displaying maturity in attitude and demeanor
- A mature woman seeks qualities like honesty, trust, ability to communicate effectively, kindness and humility and loyalty from her partner
- A mature woman seeks from her relationships a non-judgmental space, a space to pursue interests and passions and an environment that encourages her personal growth
- The more easy and fun your relationship feels, the more mature your partner is
In a nutshell, a mature woman wants to be in a mature relationship with a mature person . She recognizes unnecessary drama from afar and knows that a good relationship is supposed to feel easy. She is not afraid of putting in the work to nurture her relationship. She is looking for a partner for the sake of companionship and not to fix a broken part of herself. She is not shy about self-love and wants to grow in the relationship everyday.
Mature woman characteristics are not limited to these. But we are sure you now catch the drift. If you are trying your luck at impressing a mature woman, or are already lucky enough to romance a mature woman, try to learn more about what makes a mature relationship and how can one be more mature in relationships.