When you think of the word ‘mature’, do you think of slightly weathered skin, strands of white hair, and muted clothes? Or do you picture a person with a gentle demeanor behaving responsibly, irrespective of their age? Either way, you are not wrong. Our analysis of what a mature woman wants in a relationship talks about both these types.
A single mature woman, be she of a certain age or just mature in her thought process, would expect a man to be equally mature. Of course, date nights and romantic gestures can make a woman’s heart skip a beat at any age or stage of life but mature women want something more out of their connections. In this article, we’ll give you a detailed look at what mature women want in relationships.
Who Is Considered A Mature Woman?
Table of Contents
Before we go on to what dating mature women is like, let’s look at the concept of maturity and find out what a mature woman is like. Maturity, technically, refers to being fully developed, both physically and mentally. A study found that older women’s attitudes around dating were directed more toward their own needs. Women mentioned that fun and companionship, with independence for oneself, were the strongest factors when considering what they wanted.
In contrast, a different study that interviewed women in their 20s pointed at starkly different motivations for dating. For the younger women, the reasons were more focused on the other person than their own needs. In addition, only 8 out of 45 women in their 20s listed maturity as a preferable trait in their partner.
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What Are The Characteristics Of A Mature Woman?
So, who should be considered a mature woman? And does age play a role here? Well, irrespective of age, a single mature woman:
- Knows her strengths and weaknesses
- Does not intentionally hurt another person
- Is aware that she’s responsible for her actions
- Is goal-driven and has a fair idea of what it’s going to take to get what she wants
- Respects differences
- Isn’t afraid of commitment
- Is independent and confident about what she wants from a relationship
- Understands the nuances of a great relationship
- Knows the difference between compromising on her values and being accommodating to others
- Has the emotional maturity to exercise conflict resolution strategies
- Isn’t dependent on someone else to achieve her dreams
- Knows that there should be a fine balance between independence and commitment in a healthy relationship
In a nutshell, it’s someone who will never play any mind games, who knows how to put in the work, and who doesn’t jeopardize her relationships or prospects based on impulses. Now, let’s take a look at what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
27 Things Mature Women Want In Relationships
What is dating mature women like? A Reddit user, who has been in a relationship with an older woman, says, “In my experience dating girls my age often came with drama, inconsistency, and selfishness. If you’re trying to settle down and start a life (without provoking the previously stated qualities), then absolutely older women. We bought a house and have a family, and I’ve never been happier. Ignore your initial apprehensions and just focus honestly on how you feel amidst the chemistry.”
Clearly, mature women have a lot to offer and enrich their relationships. But what do they seek in return? What does it take to build a happy, wholesome relationship with an emotionally mature woman? Allow us to help you understand with this lowdown on 27 things mature women want in relationships:
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1. She wants a relationship free of drama
What mature women want in a relationship is to stay away from unnecessary drama. A mature woman asks for healthy relationship boundaries. She promises to respect them and expects them to be followed. A study found that older women were most motivated by companionship and fun. Most women were not interested in marriage or remarriage. One participant, Peggy, said, “I’ve dated a lot of nice guys. It’s fun. It’s nice to have somebody to go out with.”
Peggy’s attitude puts it in perspective. What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a drama-free connection, even if it’s not necessarily a serious relationship. So, if you’re someone hell-bent on impressing a mature woman, keep the following in mind:
- They’re not the kind who play emotional games and value honesty instead
- Even if misunderstandings arise, they do their best to resolve them without reacting impulsively
- They make sure to let the other partner know exactly what they’re looking for, to avoid miscommunication
- They’re good at addressing concerns and do not opt to “sweep it under the rug”
2. A mature woman wants sincere, effective communication
Mature women are good at communicating their feelings. Be it the case of a mature woman dating a younger guy or someone older than her, she would appreciate honesty about expectations to ensure that she and her partner are on the same page. Here’s what to expect:
- She would want to date a person who knows how to recognize his own emotions and can communicate them effectively
- She would want a partner whom she can confide in, in times of distress
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3. She wants a good listener for meaningful discussions
A mature woman will look for interesting conversations. In fact, mature women want to be able to connect with their partners on a deeper level by sharing their thoughts and world views. This is one of the most telling signs of maturity in a woman. These conversations may include:
- Future goals
- Childhood anecdotes
- Intellectual discussions on current affairs
If you’re in love with a mature woman and want to fortify your connection with her, just try being a good listener and ask her about the things she’s interested in.
4. A mature woman wants someone she can trust
What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a trustworthy partner. She wants someone who has her back. Someone who knows that irrespective of the status of their relationship, they are a team. Here is what a mature woman wants in a relationship to be able to build a solid foundation of trust:
- She wouldn’t deal with manipulation
- She wouldn’t want someone who is not self-assured or sure about what he wants from the relationship (which eventually leads to insecurity and trust issues)
- She wouldn’t date someone who tries to make her jealous by talking to other women
- She won’t settle for empty promises or just butterflies in her stomach
- She will appreciate a partner who knows how to establish trust in a relationship and knows how to maintain it
5. A vital mature woman characteristic is that she craves honesty
Whether you’re trying to woo a mature woman or toying with the idea of dating mature women, honesty is your biggest ally. So, be honest about your intentions and avoid:
- Emotional cheating
- Physical infidelity
- White lies
That her partner cannot tell her the truth would be disrespectful to her. If the woman you are with hates it when you lie to spare her feelings, it’s one of the signs of a mature woman in a relationship.
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6. She wants a non-judgmental relationship
One of the signs of maturity in a woman is that she prefers a non-judgmental relationship. Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, and it cannot be built if both partners cannot freely express their deepest thoughts. What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a safe space.
If you’re intent on impressing a mature woman, work toward letting her see that you’re open to embracing her as she is, warts and all, sans any judgment or criticism.
7. A mature woman likes a kind and humble man
What do women look for in a man? Well, a humble man is extremely attractive to mature women. After all, humility shows that:
- A man is not a self-centered Mr. Know-It-All
- He can accept his mistakes and improve
- He is willing to listen to the opinions of others
- He can put others’ interests before his own
Did you know, the Ideal Partner Survey, a collaboration between Clue, the University of Göttingen, and MyONE Condoms, interviewed 64,000 women and found that 90% of them rated kindness as the most desirable quality in a man? 3,800 women interviewed in the survey were ages 40 and above. So, it’s safe to say the two traits that mature women want in men are kindness and humility.
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8. She probably has a multidimensional idea of physical intimacy
Whether it’s a mature woman dating a man younger or older than her, she would want the relationship to be centered on more than just sexual attraction. What mature women want in a relationship is a more layered form of physical intimacy that includes:
- Holding hands
- Sensuous massage
- Giving her a surprise kiss
- Rubbing her back
- Looking into her eyes while talking
9. She would want other forms of intimacy
When we think of intimacy, we mostly think of its physical aspect. But there are other dimensions to being intimate with a significant other. So, what do women look for in a man? Well, a mature woman would probably be interested in fostering various types of intimacy—emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and experiential. In other words, a mature woman would want to:
- Travel with her partner
- Share experiences, such as cooking together
- Have meaningful conversations
- Engage in common hobbies
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10. A mature woman wants space to grow
Space for personal growth is what a mature woman wants in a relationship. She wants a partner who will not stop her from:
- Meeting friends
- Making new connections
- Networking at work
- Traveling for work
- Exploring new career options and not giving up her job for her family
11. She wants someone who will add value to her life
This willingness to improve comes naturally to a mature woman. She is self-confident and secure. She will thus want a partner who can add value to her life. It could be a philosophy worth imbibing, a quality worth emulating, or a fun quirk worth borrowing. This is what mature women want in a relationship.
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12. She wants someone who can take responsibility for his actions
Have you ever snapped at your partner for a tiny issue, only to realize later that the issue was created due to an oversight from your end? Did you apologize for hurting them when you realized the error of your ways? Being able to take responsibility for yourself is a foundational quality in a mature relationship. No wonder an older woman looks for a man who accepts his mistakes, takes responsibility for his actions, commits to improvement, and follows up on the promises he makes.
13. She wants a partner she can respect
A mature woman knows that love cannot exist without respect. It is a quality one should never compromise on in a relationship. What an older woman wants in a relationship is a partner who is worthy of her respect. A mature woman will likely respect her partner for:
- His intelligence
- His capacity to love her selflessly
- The way he carries himself
- His life journey
- His charitable nature
- His love for animals
14. She wants to feel respected by her partner
Feeling respected is a critical emotional need in a relationship. A woman, when respected by her partner, is treated as an equal. Women in mature relationships want you to:
- Value their judgment and wisdom
- Seek their opinions
- Appreciate their time and effort
Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship
15. A mature woman is not desperate for a relationship
A mature woman does not let her single status define her, and that’s why she is not desperate for a relationship. She won’t settle for just anyone or rush into a relationship only for the sake of checking a box on a list of life goals. She takes her time to get to know a person and assess her compatibility with her prospective partner. That’s why what a mature woman wants in a relationship is a steady timeline that feels appropriately paced.
16. She wants someone who has a life of his own
A woman protective of her own time and personal space would naturally love it if her partner also had a life of his own. Individual interests, pursuits, and social circles help create a healthy space in a relationship, which a mature woman values and appreciates. Plus, this also brings novelty to a relationship, as both partners come together with fresh stories and experiences to share.
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17. A mature woman wants someone with a vision
One of the signs of a mature woman is that she wants her partner to be far-sighted and wouldn’t be with someone with an egocentric short-term vision. Here’s what you need to keep in mind:
- Once a mature woman knows she is with someone who can distinguish the important from the trivial, she will respect the partner a whole lot more
- This quality helps her trust him to make important decisions on her behalf when needed
- To be able to show her that you understand what’s important in the long run, you must have clear goals and a similar vision of the future
18. She wants a man who is financially secure
According to NCBI, financial problems are among the top reasons for divorce. A mature woman understands all too well how monetary issues can take a toll on relationships and wouldn’t want to invest their energies in someone who doesn’t align with her financial status and goals.
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19. A mature woman appreciates a man who is secure in bed
Men with a conservative approach to sex and sexual pleasures are a big turn-off for mature women. A mature woman wants a partner in bed, not a master (unless that is part of a sexual fetish). Being assertive, active, and vocal about her desires are signs of a mature woman in a relationship. An older woman wants a great sexual partnership that stems from confidence in oneself, unshakeable trust in the partner, and open and honest communication. She wants to have a safe space for the communication of desires, devoid of any judgment.
20. She wants a person who understands consent
If you wish to be in an honest relationship with a mature woman, you cannot overlook the role of consent. A mature woman wants,
- Someone who doesn’t force his wishes, desires, or body on the other person
- Someone who doesn’t manipulate or pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to
- To feel safe and respected in her relationship
Related Reading: What Is Abuse In A Relationship? What Are The Signs Of Abuse?
21. A mature woman appreciates flexibility
How does a mature woman behave in a relationship? She’s flexible. She is open to new ideas, suggestions, and perspectives. As a result, under-confident people and those who are not accommodating or show obstinate tendencies are not her type. She would keep herself miles away from people who always wish to get their way or prove themselves right.
22. She wants loyalty
Women who seek mature relationships value men who are committed to loyalty. So, remember this when dating or pursuing a mature woman:
- Even if not in a serious relationship, a mature woman wants someone who respects the ground rules set by both
- Once a mature woman sees that her partner isn’t loyal, rebuilding trust becomes an uphill task, and she may move on to better things
- A mature woman knows the subtle mannerisms that may point toward a disloyal partner. Hence, it doesn’t necessarily have to get to the point of emotional or physical cheating before she deems a person disloyal
23. An older woman is looking for a relationship of equals
It is clear by now that what a mature woman wants in a relationship is a partnership, instead of silly games about who has the upper hand. And by a relationship of equals, she means:
- Sincere appreciation and respect toward her
- Her man valuing her judgment
- Her man being nice to people and things that are important to her
Related Reading: 4 Signs Of An Unequal Relationship And 7 Expert Tips To Foster Equality In A Relationship
24. She wants a man of his word
Mature women seek men who can stick to their promises. This means she wants someone who wouldn’t take a U-turn when times get tough. My friend Sabrina, who’s a jovial 40-year-old teacher, was dating a 35-year-old man for a few months. Last week, Sabrina called me up and broke down.
She said she had broken up with him because, while he said the age gap in the relationship wasn’t an issue with him, he suddenly grew apprehensive of their future together. “He ghosted me, only to reappear after a week and say he was sorry he couldn’t take it forward because of the age gap,” she said.
25. She wants a supportive companion
The last thing a mature woman wants is a man who will be scornful of her choices, belittle her like a patriarch, or make her feel like a lesser being. She wants a companion, a partner-in-crime, a person she can build her life with. What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a man who will be her 2 AM friend—a support system that nurtures the relationship.
Related Reading: Companionship Vs Relationship – The 10 Basic Differences
26. She wants someone who can teach her new skills
A mature woman wants someone who can rejuvenate her life, teach her new skills, and contribute to her zest of living life to the fullest. My coworker Janice was in her late 30s when she met Patrick, a 35-year-old trekker, and joined mountaineering classes with him. She told me later, “I feel like I’m back in my 20s. It feels great to learn something new.”
27. She wants an empathetic partner
A mature woman doesn’t need unnecessary arguments or tearful nights. She doesn’t want to go to bed sobbing over trivial issues that can be solved by open communication. She wants an empathetic partner in the relationship—one who will understand her mood swings, her temperament, and her life choices.
On ways of being empathetic, a Reddit user says, “…don’t focus on trying to fix the issue yourself or give them answers to their problems, instead…start asking questions trying to help them figure out how to solve their problem themselves. This way it makes them feel appreciated, understood, and heard while they also can feel like they figured their problem out or were able to vent the problem to you.”
Infographic On Signs A Mature Woman Is Attracted To You
Given that you’ve invested time and effort in understanding what mature women want in a relationship, it is safe to assume that there is such a woman in your life and you have feelings for her. Not sure if she feels the same way? Well, allow us to help you work through this dilemma with a quick roundup of the signs a mature woman is attracted to you.
Key Pointers
- Maturity, technically, refers to being fully developed physically and mentally
- When we term a woman ‘mature’, we could refer to an older woman or any woman displaying maturity in attitude and demeanor
- A mature woman seeks qualities such as honesty, trust, ability to communicate effectively, kindness, humility, and loyalty from her partner
- How does a mature woman behave in a relationship? With self-awareness, empathy, and compassion. That’s what she seeks in return
- Mature woman characteristics also include seeking a non-judgmental partner, a space to pursue her interests and passions, and an environment that encourages her personal growth
Final Thoughts
We hope you know by now that a mature woman wants to be in a relationship with a mature person. She recognizes unnecessary drama from afar and knows that a good relationship is supposed to feel easy. She is not afraid of putting in the work to nurture her relationship. She is looking for a companion and wants to grow in the relationship.
If you are trying your luck at impressing an older woman, or are already lucky enough to be romancing a mature woman, maybe you should try and learn more about what makes a mature relationship tick.
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