When you think of the word ‘mature’, do you think of slightly weathered skin, strands of white hair, and muted clothes? Or do you picture a person with a gentle demeanor behaving responsibly, irrespective of their age? Either way, you are not wrong. Our analysis of what a mature woman wants in a relationship depends on both of these perceptions.
What mature women want in a relationship is not very different from what any mature person would want from their romantic partner. Since their outlook toward life is alike, and the importance they give to core values hits a match, both men and women, more or less, find similar things attractive in a potential partner.
First, let us take a look at the signs of a mature woman. Who is she? How does a mature woman behave in a relationship? Once you’re able to tell the difference between the ones who are actually emotionally intelligent and the ones who just seem to be so, the next step is to figure out what they want from relationships.
Who Is Considered A Mature Woman?
It is not uncommon for us to hear sentences like “She is quite mature for her age” or “He is over 50, but so immature!” Maturity, technically, refers to being physically fully-developed. This is why we use it for a plant, a fruit, a cat, as much as for people. But we have come to understand maturity not just in regards to physical growth but also in terms of mental and emotional growth.
It is usually understood that a mature woman is independent and confident about what she wants from a relationship. She understands the nuances of a great relationship. She knows the difference between compromising on her values and being accommodating to others. She is equipped with the emotional maturity to be adept at conflict resolution strategies. She is forthcoming when it comes to sharing her dreams, time, space, and future plans but she is not dependent on someone else to fulfill them for her. She knows that finding balance between independence and a healthy relationship is what she needs to do.
This was made clear from two different studies that focused on dating for older women vs dating for younger women. A study, Dating for Older Women: Experiences and Meanings of Dating in Later Life, published in the Journal of Women and Aging, found that older women’s attitudes around dating were directed more toward their own needs. Women mentioned that fun and companionship, with independence for oneself, were the strongest factors when considering what they wanted.
In contrast, a different study, What Do Women Want? A Qualitative Study of Dating, that interviewed women in their 20s pointed at starkly different motivations for dating. For the younger women, the reasons were more focused on the other person than their own needs. In addition, it is noticeable in this study that only 8 out of 45 women in their 20s listed maturity as a preferable trait in their partner. Not everyone’s looking for maturity, it seems.
Related Reading: 13 Traits Of A High-Value Man | How To Attract A High-Quality Man
What Are The Characteristics Of A Mature Woman?
So, who should be considered a mature woman? And does age play a role here? Age does help us define maturity, as seen in these two studies. We expect a certain level of emotional quotient from someone who’s physically mature or a person older in age or a person mature in their attitude. All in all, the signs of maturity in a woman usually include the following points:
- A mature woman knows her strengths and utilizes them for personal growth. Such women know their weaknesses and actively work on them
- They do not intentionally intend to hurt another person and are usually emotionally honest about their intentions and needs
- They’re self-aware and know they’re responsible for their actions
- They recognize what it means to cultivate a relationship with a person and accompany it with empathy, respect, and honesty
- A mature person is well-mannered and poised
- They are goal-driven, and have a fair idea of what it’s going to take for them to get what they want
- They respect differences, focus on self-improvement, aren’t afraid of commitment, and are usually good listeners
- They approach life with a positive mindset and accept the things they are not in control of
This is a good guideline if you’re wondering, “How can one be more mature in relationships?” In a nutshell, it’s someone whom you can never associate the words “childish behavior” with, whom you know will never play any mind games, who knows how to put in the work, and doesn’t jeopardize their relationships or prospects based on impulses. With that out of the way, let’s take a look at what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
23 Things Mature Women Want In Relationships
There couldn’t be a better way to put what mature women want in a relationship than as stated in the aforementioned study: “These women know the type of person with whom they enjoy spending time, and they know how they want to be treated. This is different from when they were adolescents and young adults, in part because they feel that they know themselves better now. (…) Finding a man who is interesting with whom they can go out and have fun and from whom they can be treated with kindness and respect are the goals voiced in these interviews.”
If you are wondering if it is difficult finding or impressing a mature woman, or even romancing a mature woman, we think it depends on your own level of maturity. Understanding what mature women want in a relationship is not rocket science, and once you’ve started dating women who are a bit more mature than others, you’ll realize what it is you must do differently. Let us pick simple and recognizable things that mature women want in a relationship:
1. She wants a relationship free of drama
Are you looking for signs you are dating a mature woman? The more easy and fun your relationship feels, the more mature your partner is. A mature woman wants to stay away from unnecessary drama. She asks that healthy relationship boundaries be laid out, she promises to respect them and expects them to be followed.
One study found that companionship and fun were the primary motivations older women had for dating. Most women were not interested in marriage or remarriage, wanting to have independence over their life. One participant in the study, Peggy, says almost nonchalantly, “I’ve dated a lot of nice guys. It’s fun. It’s nice to have somebody to go out with.”
Peggy’s attitude puts it in perspective. What a mature woman wants in a relationship, mature in age or attitude, is an easy fun drama-free companionship, even if it’s not necessarily a serious relationship. To the guy’s mind, all of this sounds absolutely perfect, doesn’t it? When pondering over how to impress a mature woman, keep the following things in mind:
- They’re not the kind who play emotional games, they greatly appreciate honesty
- Even if misunderstandings arise, they do their best to resolve them without impulsively reacting
- They make sure to let the other partner know exactly what they’re looking for to avoid miscommunication
- They’re good at addressing concerns and do not opt to “sweep it under the rug”
2. A mature woman wants sincere, effective communication
Since she’s good at communicating her feelings in uncomplicated words, a drama-free relationship is a real possibility. She understands that a relationship cannot thrive without communication, since she has probably experienced breakups and knows what the usual suspects are. It is not only essential to be on the same page with a partner regarding countless things in a relationship, but it is also directly responsible for resolving issues and conflicts.
She likes a person who knows how to recognize their emotions and can communicate them effectively, instead of one who reacts immediately to stimuli. She also wants a partner who can nurture feelings in a safe space and allow each of them to express their emotions and mental health concerns freely. If she finds herself lacking, she’s quick to improving communication in the relationship.
Related Reading: 35 Bonding Questions For Couples To Strengthen A Relationship
3. She wants a partner she can talk to
“There were concerns of being bored (…) or being forced to talk about things in which they had no interest, especially when it came to love relationships at the right time. They were not willing to do those things just for the sake of having a date,” the Dating For Older Women study says.
While our previous point was about the ability to communicate complaints, desires, and address conflicts, this one is about the ability to share conversations with someone, especially loved ones. Mature women look for interesting conversations in relationships, irrespective of the topic or the age group. They want to be able to connect with their partners on a deeper level and share their innermost thoughts, feelings, and mental health state.
These conversations may include discussing future goals, offering encouragement, or reminiscing about their childhood. It helps if both partners share similar interests or hobbies, but this doesn’t mean that differences always hinder conversation. If you’re in love with a mature woman who you have nothing in common with, just try being a good listener and ask her about the things she’s interested in.
4. A mature woman wants someone she can trust
What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a trustworthy partner. She would like to be able to depend on them, just like she can on good friends. Are you thinking of sharing household duties and bigger responsibilities? Yes! That too. But also, someone who can simply keep a secret. She wants a reliable person, someone who has her back.
Someone who is trying their luck at impressing a mature woman should know that she wants an emotionally mature person by her side too. He should understand the various components of trust in a relationship. Someone who knows that irrespective of the temporary status of their relationship – a fight, a disagreement – all that aside, they are a team. When it comes to what a mature woman wants in a relationship, keep the following in mind:
- She doesn’t mind games, manipulation, or someone who is not self-assured (which eventually leads to insecurity and trust issues)
- Jealousy, trust issues, and anger issues can not be completely avoided, but a mature girl needs someone who is actively on top of such frictions
- She won’t settle for the big promises or just butterflies in her stomach. She needs to be able to see from a person’s actions that they’re trustworthy
- She appreciates a partner who knows how to establish trust in a relationship and knows how to maintain it
5. A vital mature woman characteristic is that she craves honesty
Whether you’re married to a mature woman or can’t stop dreaming about her, what she would want is complete honesty from you. To her, it is not a far-fetched expectation (as it shouldn’t be). We are not limiting our reference to emotional cheating, physical or financial infidelity, and the like. Even white lies in relationships can be a turn-off for her.
That her partner cannot tell her the truth is disrespectful to her, especially since she doesn’t like the presumption that she could not handle the truth, as though she’s a girl. If the woman you are with hates it when you lie to spare her feelings, you can take it as one of the signs you are dating a mature woman.
Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are Dating An Immature Person And What Should You Do
6. She wants a non-judgmental relationship
Honest, clear communication, which is so foundational for a mature relationship, is possible when partners exhibit deep trust in each other. This trust cannot be built if partners cannot freely express their deepest thoughts. A commitment to building a safe space for communication is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
She approaches tough conversations with the same attitude that she approaches regular conversations with, and she’d appreciate the same in return. Unless a non-judgmental space is established, you’re not really going to be able to impress a mature woman. How can you, if she has to worry about what you think of her?
7. A mature woman likes a kind and humble man
A humble man is extremely attractive to a mature woman in a relationship. After all, humility shows that a man is not a self-centered Mr. Know-It-All. It shows that he can accept his mistakes and improve, instead of being lost in his ego (the kind of men that even the best dating sites seem to be overcrowded with). He is willing to listen to the opinion of others. He can put others’ interests before his own.
Humility and selflessness naturally make a man kind. Did you know, the Ideal Partner Survey, a collaboration between Clue, the University of Göttingen, and MyONE Condoms, interviewed 64,000 women and found that 90% of them rated kindness as the most desirable quality in a man. 3,800 women interviewed in the survey were ages 40 and above. With a 90% weightage, it is suffice to say that what mature women want in a relationship are kindness and humility. Here’s a summary of what a mature woman wants in a relationship:
- A mature person prioritizes honesty, kindness, empathy, respect, and manners. A loving partner who offers true companionship instead of someone who plays emotional games
- Even if it’s not a serious relationship, they always appreciate honesty and someone who’s capable of delivering
- A mature woman/man appreciate a partner who has a goal, knows the direction their life is taking them in, and is humble
8. She wants to nurture a multidimensional idea of physical intimacy
If you are romancing a mature woman, you would have noticed that she is not wound up on a uni-dimensional idea of intimacy, which is limited to sexual intercourse. Her focus is on increasing physical intimacy which can be shared in many more ways than just under the sheets.
Holding hands, engaging in physical ways of recreation with her partner, giving a massage, a surprise kiss, rubbing the back, sitting closely, looking in the eye when talking, and putting the phone away when listening are various ways through which mature people ensure that they remain physically intimate with their partner. This is what mature women want in a relationship.
That, of course, is a two-way street. Such women are primarily interested in people who they know will treat them the same way, have a pure heart, and don’t play games with someone’s feelings. It’s not that difficult, really.
9. She wants to nurture other forms of intimacy
When we think of intimacy, we mostly think of its physical aspect. But there are other dimensions to feeling intimate with a significant other. Emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and experiential are some of the other domains of feeling intimate with your partner. A mature woman is aware of this and expects to explore these with equal dedication.
She wants to travel together, share experiences, have meaningful conversations, engage in common hobbies, and learn something new with her partner to connect with them at a deeper level. Each of these serves to foster various types of intimacy. When you see a woman engaging with you on such a level, it’s safe to say that you’re witnessing the signs of maturity in a woman.
- A mature person may value spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy as much as the physical form of intimacy
- To a mature person, feeling love doesn’t necessarily include the trivial niceties people associate with a person’s love life. Instead, you might see her trying to connect on a deeper level
- A mature woman’s mantra, when it comes to love, usually involves not wasting any time and in fact, building a connection. Try to show her that you’re willing to find a connection with her as well
10. A mature woman in a relationship wants space to grow
Space for personal growth is what a mature woman wants in a relationship. Along with that, she certainly wouldn’t mind a little extra helping of motivation. A partner and a relationship that encourages you to nurture your passion, hone your skills, work on your issues, and be better is a dream for many. 86.5% of the women interviewed by the Ideal Partner Survey, picked supportiveness among the most desirable qualities in a potential partner.
A mature woman cannot compromise on this requirement. She does not welcome a toxic living environment and will neither tolerate insincere flattery nor spiteful criticism. She wants to be in an honest relationship with someone who doesn’t shy away from appreciating her strengths and gently underlining her shortcomings so that she can work on herself. She wants a self-assured partner, who’s capable of offering emotional support when need be.
11. She wants to learn something new
This willingness to improve comes from easily recognizable mature woman characteristics – self-confidence and a sense of security. Only a person who is comfortable in their skin and is proud and confident looks to improve themselves and learn new things.
Not only is an older woman passively open to learning new things, but she is also willing to add to her arsenal of skill-set and qualities. A partner who can provide her with something aspirational is an extremely appealing prospect to her. A philosophy worth imbibing, a quality worth emulating, a fun quirk worth borrowing – this is what mature women want in a relationship.
Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem In A Woman You Are Dating
12. She wants someone who can take responsibility for their actions
Have you ever snapped at your partner for a tiny issue, only to realize later that the issue was created due to an oversight from your end? Like locking yourself out, losing your wallet or keys, or forgetting an appointment. Did you have the courage to apologize when you found out that the keys were in your bag, the appointment noted in your diary?
Being able to take responsibility for yourself is a foundational quality in a mature relationship. No wonder an older woman looks for a man who accepts his mistakes, takes responsibility for his actions, commits to improvement, and follows up on the promises he makes.
13. She wants to be able to respect her partner
Love is a dynamic emotion, forever changing. It is a conscious act. On the other hand, respect is an underlying constant that is the basis of a relationship filled with love. A mature woman knows that love becomes possible when a person respects their partner for who they are. It is a quality one should never compromise on with their partner.
What an older woman wants in a relationship is a partner who is worth her respect. A mature woman knows that she may respect her partner for their intelligence, capacity for love and empathy, the way they carry themselves, their life journey, charitable nature, love for animals, future goals, or any other value or quality. These are just a few examples and not an exhaustive list. Really, what a mature woman wants in a relationship is to be able to look up to the person she is with.
- Respect is the cornerstone of any good relationship, and a high-quality person acknowledges that fact
- A mature person values respect in a relationship as much as love
- She wants to be able to look up to the person she’s with and admire them
- To be a respectable person, a person needs to conduct themselves with integrity and treat others around them with respect
14. One of the signs of a mature woman is that she wants to feel respected by her partner
Newsflash: A woman prefers feeling respected in her relationship. Who would’ve thought, right? Jokes aside, feeling respected for the qualities a person possesses is a critical emotional need for anyone. A woman, when respected by her partner, is treated as an equal, her judgment and wisdom are valued, her opinions are sought, and her time and effort are appreciated.
Why wouldn’t a woman want all that in her relationship? An older woman recognizes this. That is why she looks to be valued and respected by her partner. In fact, there’s a strong chance that she bid adieu to some past relationships because of a lack of these qualities. In fact, It’s not just a thing a woman needs in a relationship, it’s something we all need.
Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship
15. A mature woman is not desperate for a relationship
The Dating For Older Women study says, “‘I am not that desperate’ was a chorus repeated time and again.” In the study, a participant, Sally, says, “I thought if a good one came along, then I would be open to it, but not just anything with anybody.”
An older woman doesn’t want to be in a codependent relationship. She wants her personal space and is ready to give the same to her partner. For this, it is essential that her partner likes their own company and doesn’t entirely rely on her to pass their time. Some willingness to share time and experiences is desirable. What she does not like is a relationship in which partners feel the urge to spend every waking moment with each other and anything else makes them feel insecure.
- If you think a mature person is just looking to ‘settle down,’ think again. In fact, their independent nature allows them to not rush into relationships
- What a mature woman wants in a relationship is a steady timeline that feels appropriately paced, instead of making rash decisions
16. She wants someone who has a life of their own
A woman protective of her own time and personal space would naturally love it if her partner also had a life of their own. This would take the pressure off her to be her partner’s only source of companionship. After all, it is unreasonable to expect one person to fulfill all relationship roles.
An older woman understands this and loves it when her partner can have a social life of their own, while she utilizes that time the way she wants to. Even if it’s a serious relationship she’s going for, the ability to maintain a positive relationship while practicing a healthy amount of personal space is a pre-requisite. Plus, such practices also bring novelty to a relationship as the two partners come together with fresh stories and experiences to share with each other. So, keep all the incessant text messages, sending notes, and unending calls far away from the relationship.
17. A mature person wants someone who understands what is important
To be able to have an objective view of the larger picture is a respectable quality mature people possess. She wants in her partner the ability to separate the essential from the non-essential. The important from the trivial. Far-sightedness from egocentric short-term vision. What mature women want from a relationship is this clarity. She wants a partner who prioritizes the health and future of the relationship over personal wins in arguments.
- Once a mature woman knows she is with someone who is able to distinguish the important from the trivial, she will respect the partner a whole lot more
- This quality helps her trust them to make important decisions on her behalf when needed
- To be able to show her that you understand what’s important in the long run, you must have clear goals, a similar vision of the future, and must not play any mind games to try and emotionally manipulate her
18. She wants a man who is professionally and financially secure
An older woman would not like to waste her time with someone who would be envious of her professional or financial status. An insecure man or woman would compare their success to their partner’s, unable to see how the two of them can work in partnership. This shortsightedness would be a sign he is not trustworthy and is detrimental to the prosperity that the two of them can enjoy together.
Only a person who is mature and possesses financial confidence would allow their partner to flourish and grow. A person who is proud of the achievements and success of the woman they are with, no matter how much more or less she earns, is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
- According to NCBI, financial problems are among the top reasons for divorce. A mature person realizes the importance of financial confidence and the ability to have productive conversations about money
- A man who is financially insecure and constantly compares his career with hers is usually a red flag for the independent, mature person that she is
- Apart from financial confidence, other traits a mature person looks for include a career-driven individual, someone who knows what their goals are, and has prospects lined up
Related Reading: 15 Relationship Red Flags In A Man To Be Watchful Of
19. A mature woman appreciates a man who is secure in bed
Men with conservative ideas around women, desire, and libido are a big turn-off. A mature person wants a partner in bed, not a master (unless that is part of a sexual fetish). If a woman is assertive, active, and vocal about her desires, you should treat these as signs you are dating a mature woman.
A great sexual partnership stems from confidence in oneself, unshakeable trust in the partner, and honest communication. An older woman wants such a partnership. She wants to have a safe space for communication of desires, devoid of any judgment, and definitely not someone going through a mid-life crisis, trying to overcompensate with weird tactics in bed.
20. She wants a person who understands consent
Consent should ideally be such an easy concept to understand, yet so many people fail to prioritize it in their relationships and intimate connections. If you truly want an answer to “How does a mature woman behave in a relationship?” you cannot overlook the role of consent. A mature person doesn’t force their wishes, desires, or body on the other person. They don’t manipulate or pressurize their partner into doing something the partner is unwilling to do.
An older woman, like any person, wants to feel safe and respected in her relationship. She wants her partner to understand the nuances of enthusiastic consent. Observe, listen, ask, and communicate. Do it actively and continually. That is what a mature woman wants in a relationship.
- The role of consent doesn’t just end after the first time. Consent is to be secured actively and continually and in clear terms
- A mature person appreciates someone who approaches consent in a serious and productive manner
- Even if you’re married to a mature woman, it’s important to practice consent, not just in physical terms but wherever it may be required. She would treat you the same way
Related Reading: What Is Abuse In A Relationship? What Are The Signs Of Abuse?
21. An older woman appreciates flexibility
Signs of a mature woman include flexibility and accommodative nature. Under-confident, insecure people show obstinate tendencies. An older woman would keep herself miles away from a narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend, a person who is egotistically stubborn about getting their way or proving themselves right. Such self-serving behavior proves to be detrimental to any partnership.
An older woman realizes this and makes sure she is with someone who can accept when they have erred, and is ready to accommodate suggestions when someone else has a better solution. She wants her partner to have the ability to compromise and think of the common good whether an issue arises or not.
22. She wants loyalty
A great partnership requires active effort by both members. A man who displays loyalty, not only toward his partner but also toward the relationship, would be willing to make the effort or do the work to benefit their partnership. A mature woman wants a man who is committed to this value. She expects her partner to be loyal to her.
Infidelity of all kinds would be unacceptable to her. A younger woman may not understand yet, but an older woman does understand that cheating is not limited to sexual cheating. Emotional cheating or financial infidelity are signs of a relationship crisis too. She wants a partner who understands these nuances.
- Even if it’s not a serious relationship the mature person is looking for, they’ll often have a clear idea of the ground rules they want to adhere to. If the partner is disrespectful toward the ground rules, it indicates a lack of respect and loyalty
- Once a mature person sees that their partner isn’t loyal, rebuilding the trust becomes an uphill task, and they may move on to better things
- A mature woman knows the subtle mannerisms that may point toward a disloyal partner, hence, it doesn’t necessarily have to get to the point of emotional or physical cheating before she deems a person disloyal
23. An older woman is looking for a relationship of equals
It is clear by now that what mature women want in a relationship is a partnership, instead of playing games about who has the upper hand. A sincere appreciation and respect for your partner, valuing their judgment, valuing the relationship, being nice to people and things that are important to your partner, and being a person worthy of respect – these are some of the qualities that appeal to her.
A mature woman practices these values. So, she expects her partner to exhibit the same values in their life. What women want from men is a modern relationship of equals. Like we said before, she wants a partnership, and not a relationship with a slave or a master.
- Maturity, technically, refers to being physically fully developed. But we have come to understand maturity not just in regards to physical growth but also in mental and emotional growth
- When calling a woman “mature,” one could refer to an older woman, as well as any woman displaying maturity in attitude and demeanor
- An older woman seeks qualities like honesty, trust, ability to communicate effectively, kindness, humility, and loyalty from her partner
- An older woman seeks from her relationships a non-judgmental space, a space to pursue interests and passions, and an environment that encourages her personal growth
- The more easy and fun your relationship feels, the more mature your partner is
In a nutshell, a mature woman wants to be in a relationship with a mature person. She recognizes unnecessary drama from afar and knows that a good relationship is supposed to feel easy, and not like people drifting apart more and more every few months. She is not afraid of putting in the work to nurture her relationship. She is looking for a partner for the sake of companionship and not to fix a broken part of herself. She is not shy about self-love and wants to grow in the relationship everyday.
An older woman’s characteristics are not limited to these. But we are sure you now catch the drift. If you are trying your luck at impressing an older woman, or are already lucky enough to romance a mature woman, try to learn more about what makes a mature relationship tick.
This article has been updated in May 2023.