qualities to look for in a husband
What does a woman want from a man? Do they look for a confident man? Or does a positive mindset appeal to them more? To answer these questions and understand what women want from men (and vice versa), a study was conducted by Richard A. Lippa. A survey was put out on BBC internet, which ultimately reached around 119,733 men and 98,462 women. The task was simple: pick the top three traits you look for in a mate. This was out of a list of 23 traits running the gamut from intelligence and industriousness to parenting abilities and attractiveness.
The top picks for women? Humor, intelligence, honesty, kindness, and values. However, it’s worth noting that good looks, facial attractiveness, and fitness were all rather high up on the women’s list as well. Curiously, money, social status, and prosperity were all at the bottom of the list, which seems to counter what other studies have concluded. This is why we need to dive deeper into a woman’s perspective on the qualities of a good man. Let’s take a closer look at what women want from men in relationships:
Top 12 Things A Woman Wants From A Man
What do women like? Relationship coach Swaty Prakash says, “Smile because it represents a warm and friendly personality. If you have a disarming smile going for you, make sure you flaunt it as much as you can. Your built and dressing sense set the first impression but a bright and confident smile is what’s going to keep her around.” Apart from showing your pearly whites, here are 12 different things a woman wants from a man:
1. What a woman wants from a man is intelligence
In one study conducted by economist Raymond Fisman and colleagues for Columbia University, 392 single men and women were invited to participate in a speed dating event. Each participant went on between 10 and 20 four-minute speed dates. They then rated the attractiveness, intelligence, and ambition of each person they met. The results of this study prompt that women care about intelligence roughly twice as much as men. So, being smart definitely makes it to the list of qualities of a good man, from a woman’s point of view.
2. Older men are charming men
Psychologists call it the George Clooney Effect. A 2010 study of 3,770 heterosexual adults suggested that women often prefer older men. It was also observed that women with greater financial independence were more inclined to date an older man.
Psychiatrist Dr. Shefali Batra says, “Be it psycho-dynamically, emotionally, psychologically, women grow up faster compared to their male counterparts. Hence, women connect better, mentally and emotionally, with men who are older than them. Having reached the peak of their career, older men are more relaxed about their professional goals and are able to give more time to their women.”
3. The ability to listen is what women want from men
A woman absolutely loves it when her partner patiently listens to what she has to say. Therefore, pay close attention to what she has to say, look at her, and ask her how she’s feeling or how her day was at work. She should feel that you’re emotionally present and invested in the relationship and willing to hear her out well, no matter what she has to say.
One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond”. Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond.
Related Reading: 5 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make In Marriage
4. Communication and honesty are important
What a woman wants from a man in a relationship is utter honesty. Women appreciate men who are honest about their feelings and opinions and also know how to communicate them well. In order to do that, you must talk to your partner about your needs and desires. Tell her how you feel. Be as honest with her as you possibly can.
A shocking research points out that couples lie to each other three times a week. Of course, this includes big ones like cheating but also seemingly harmless white lies such as “I will surely come home on time today”. These small lies in a relationship are not so small after all. So, if you want to be the kind of man a woman desire, be as transparent as you can (before it ends up destroying your relationship).
5. Become her best friend
Being best friends with your spouse or romantic partner is a privilege indeed. Now, this does not mean that if you weren’t best friends before you started dating, the foundation of your relationship is weak. But you must work toward building a friendship with your partner. As her partner, you are the person she can trust most with her thoughts and emotions. Make sure to not lose that because sometimes what women want from men is a buddy who makes them feel comfortable.
A study was conducted on 801 adults across the United States on the question: “Do you consider your partner to be your best friend or do you call somebody else your best friend?” Among adults in a romantic relationship, the vast majority (83%) considered their current partner to be their best friend. Among those who were married, the rate was even higher.
6. Treat her as an equal
It’s the 21st century and it’s no surprise that what a woman wants from a man in a relationship is to be treated like an equal, (socially, financially, and sexually). Counseling psychologist Shivangi Anil emphasizes, “To spot signs of inequality, we need to pay attention to where the decision-making power lies. And by decision, I don’t mean financial or big decisions alone. Decisions about where you stay, what you eat, and whom you both interact with as a couple.
“Inequality harbors an unequal power dynamic wherein the person in a more powerful position can impose their needs and demands on the other person. In extreme cases, a skewed power dynamic can also pave the way for abuse and violence.”
7. Taller men are charming
What do women like in men? When it comes to good looks, research shows that women overwhelmingly prefer men who are taller than them. In fact, according to a 2012 study from the Netherlands, women are more satisfied with a man who is roughly 21 cm taller than her. Another study points out that the height of the partner is more important to females than to males.
Researchers ultimately concluded that women want a man who is tall simply because they feel more protected. One female in the study cited not wanting to look down into a man’s eyes, the ability to wear high heels and still be shorter than her date, and wanting to reach up to hug her date among her reasons for preferring taller men.
8. Women appreciate vulnerability in men
Relationship expert Ridhi Golechha says, “Men and women deal with pain differently. Men end up suppressing their emotional pain, which makes it more intense. They put on a fake mask of courage and are not able to receive the empathy that somebody who shows vulnerability is able to receive. Also, men use other channels to direct their pain (like anger, revenge, aggression, or physical abuse).”
This brings us to what constitutes good qualities in a man. A woman appreciates a man who can open up to her. Forget the narrative that movies told you that women only like the brooding variety of men who do betray a shred of emotion. What a woman wants from a man is far different from that. She doesn’t need you to prove how strong and macho you are. You can’t build a healthy relationship if you are unwilling to show her your emotional or vulnerable side. Given how important emotional intimacy is to women, they prefer men who can be vulnerable in relationships.
9. Kindness and supportiveness
One of the most extensive surveys on what women look for in a long-term partner was compiled by researchers at the University of Göttingen in Germany and the female health app Clue. The survey polled more than 64,000 people in 180 countries, asking them about their ideal match — from religious or political preferences to the importance of height. According to the results, almost 90% of the women ranked kindness highest among desirable qualities, followed closely by supportiveness at 86.5%.
10. A sense of humor
A woman totally loves a man who can make her laugh. Authenticity is hands down one of the good qualities in a man. Do not pretend to be funny or make an exaggerated attempt at humor. Say what comes to you naturally, so she can really see you for who you are. If your vibe matches hers, you’re sure to have her attention.
In a study conducted with 3,000 married couples from five countries, both husbands and wives were found to be happier with a humorous partner. This trait was reported to be more important for the marital satisfaction of the wives than the husbands. The research says “spouses may also take humorousness as a sign of motivation to be amusing, kind, understanding, and dependable — as a sign of commitment”.
Related Reading: What Are The Signs She Is Developing Feelings For You?
11. A woman needs her personal space
It is important to strike a balance between your relationship and other aspects of your life. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to be together all the time. She may want to spend time with friends, engage with family, pursue a hobby, or unwind by reading her favorite book. She may want to spend some time alone and that’s absolutely normal.
She is her own person and has a life outside of the relationship, as should you. So, make sure you don’t invade her privacy, by barging in on her sleepovers with friends or always swinging by her place after work. Talking about healthy space in a relationship, psychologist Jaseena Backer says, “This space should be comfortable enough for the partners and not big enough for the entry of a third party.”
12. Good sex
Let’s be honest – women enjoy sex as much as men do. So, what does a woman want in a man physically? A woman wants a man who is sensitive and accepting of her sexual desires and needs. Sex is meant to please both partners. So, don’t make it all about you and do some research on what women want during sex.
Studies indicate that 80% of women fake their orgasms during sex. So, talk to your partner about what she’s comfortable with, and what makes her happy. It should be like a fun adventure where you get to explore each other’s bodies and push the boundaries of pleasure. A woman can’t keep her hands off a man who knows how to pleasure her.
- Women love men who are intelligent, kind and supportive
- It is always a bonus if the guy is taller and older than her
- Women also value the ability to be a good friend who listens patiently
- It’s even better if you’re funny, honest and can show her your vulnerable side
- If you respect her ‘self-care’ time, and go an extra mile to please her in bed, you’re a keeper
Finally, one thing that you must remember is that every woman is different. All women don’t like the same things as your ex. So, try and talk to your SO about what she expects out of the relationship. What are things that make her feel bad? Clear communication is always better for a deeper connection. Most people end up playing mind games or expect their partners to guess what they are thinking.
Also, women want a man who’s consistent and hence, never stop paying attention. Remember how enthusiastic you were to know her favorite color at the onset of your relationship? Keep it going! Taking care of the little things every day is the only secret behind making it work. So what are you waiting for? Use these tips to go show your woman that you are the best partner for her! If you haven’t been doing this, now is a good time to start…