We live in a hyperconnected world where our loved ones are one FaceTime call away, and texting our partners and friends throughout the day is a matter of routine for us. This is a double-edged sword because being by ourselves has started to leave many of us feeling anxious, restless, and lonely. Today, we are going to talk about how to be happy alone. We have 10 ways that will help you tackle the feelings of loneliness.
It is true that as a generation, we are always well-connected, thanks to the internet. But since we always have someone to talk to, learning how to live alone happily is not given the importance it deserves. We’re not dismissing the value of social interactions, but within this body and by ourselves, we are always on our own. So, it becomes imperative that we learn to be happy alone, and that we do so gracefully.
How To Be Happy Alone? 10 Ways
Remember when we were kids, most of us were just fine being left alone in a garden or a backyard? I would go as far as saying that some children preferred being by themselves. But as you grew older, the need to socialize began to overpower the comfort of solitude. This brings us to our conversation at hand, on how to be happy alone. And not just that, how to be happy alone and single.
Human experiences shape an individual into the person they are at this very moment. This journey of self-discovery is never-ending, and there are several instances on this journey that can teach us how to be happy alone.
When you’re with someone and you feel miserable, maybe your company is the problem. If you’re alone and you feel lonely, then you might be in bad company too. Loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling and there’s no doubt about it. It makes you feel like there is a void that needs to be filled which can only be fixed with someone or something. To counter that need, here are 10 ways to be happy alone in your own company.
1. Make more time for your platonic relationships
A heartbreak is a challenging time for all of us. There is far too much to process and little to no understanding about what needs to be addressed first. There is the grieving at night, analyzing ‘what could have been done better’ in the afternoon, and the mornings are for sleeping in of course. But you know this can’t go on for too long, and it might also be the reason that you Googled “How to be happy alone?” in the first place.
Don’t get stuck in this rut. Being happy alone and single is not as bad as it may seem to you right now. We’ve all heard how spending time with friends improves your relationship. We empathize that you lost someone you love to a break-up, and now there is a void they have left. It’s time for you to replace your old routines and rituals with your friends. This is especially important if your relationship brought some distance between you and your pals.
This is our first tip on how to be happy alone — start investing more time in your existing platonic relationships. I know this advice to be effective as I have personally fallen back to this whenever I have gone through a break-up and could use a support system. A word of caution, remember that it is not their job to be available for you all the time. Make sure your platonic relationships are built on healthy, sincere, and realistic reciprocation where you’re showing you care for them.
Don’t lose sight of the fact that the goal is to learn to be happy alone and start being comfortable in your own company. Your friends too have things they struggle with, and you shouldn’t be disheartened if they’re unavailable a few times. Most importantly, fight the urge to sulk, and make sure you turn up when they’re hanging out as this will go a long way to create a stable ground for you to stand upon.
2. In case of a breakup, go back to being who you were
If you’re here because of a breakup, please continue reading. Being in a relationship can be incredibly fun. But whether you consciously realize it or not, accommodating another person in your life means you have to occasionally lose some parts of yourself.
It is true that relationships need management and understanding between two people in order to function with minimal friction. Ask yourself what things about yourself you had to keep on the sidelines to prioritize the relationship. Before you panic, this is not a sign that your relationship was toxic, as long as you were acting of your own volition.
But if you were in a toxic relationship, that is all the more reason for you to start doing the things you used to love. Wipe off your cheeks, sit with yourself, and reflect upon the things you were previously involved in but lost touch with. This is a great way to address questions like “How to be happy alone?” or “Is being happy alone and single difficult?”
Contrary to popular belief, finding a way back to being the person you were before the relationship is easier than you think. The simplest of activities that you enjoy – like reading, baking, gardening, and playing more video games – is how you’ll get back to being yourself. Avoid doing any funny business after a break-up and you’ll be fine. If you’re not able to find a way back through self-reflection, think about the times your ex has complained about your habits, you may find an answer there. This is how to be happy alone, with zest and fulfillment.
3. Strengthen your relationship with yourself with positive self-talk
Do you want a crash course on how to be happy alone? Here is a simple reminder that you can come back to every time you feel anxious being by yourself — The relationship I share with me is the most important relationship in my life. This will help you to being happy alone by reminding you that the most important relationship you have is with yourself.
The first and foremost thing that you should do is pay attention to the mental narrative you have about yourself. We’re talking about the commentary that runs in your head. There are several reasons the way we speak to ourselves is important. Haven’t we all heard about how negative self-talk is detrimental to our well-being? Your first step toward learning how to be alone is to stop manufacturing crap about yourself in your mind.
One of the reasons people find it difficult to be their own company is because they’re really hard on themselves. Our natural tendency is to distance ourselves from unpleasant experiences. Every time you indulge in negative self-talk, you’re creating an unpleasant experience for yourself, hence you’re sad on your own. And did you know that negative self-talk is one of the signs you had a toxic mother growing up? It is going to take conscious and consistent effort on your end to change that.
When you want to get to know yourself better, you’ll have to ignore the outside noise and turn your attention inward. Start by listening to yourself, you can even sit with a notebook and write down how you feel about yourself, the good and the bad. Initially, this may feel like a difficult hurdle to cross but it’s highly rewarding. This is a very important part of being happy alone. Lastly, start treating yourself as a friend and be kind to yourself. Create a list and add one thing to it every day that you like about yourself.
Related Reading: How To Get Through A Breakup Alone?
4. Wondering how to be happy alone? Come up with your own blueprint for your life
As you might have noticed, we’re taking small steps to be a party all by ourselves. The journey of learning how to be happy alone is not a straight line and there will be detours. As you start feeling more comfortable being in your company, new opportunities for growth will present themselves. Single life is different from dating life, they both have their pros and cons.
As the turbulence of negative self-talk settles, you will cultivate a fresh and empathetic outlook toward who you are. When I was going through this period just a few months ago, I noticed how ignorant I was when it came to tending to my own needs. Similarly, a lot of things about yourself will become clear to you during this period. The importance of having clarity about who you are cannot be emphasized enough when you’re trying to understand how to be happy alone.
We’d like to clarify that you should not be forcing yourself to do this, you’ll reach this place within yourself as a natural consequence of your inward effort. Once you have an approach like this, you will notice that you won’t be looking for motivational posts on Instagram. The inward drive to become the best version of yourself is more potent than any external motivation in the world.
Power down your devices, minimize any possible distractions and sit down to make a blueprint of what your ideal life would look like. Put on some relaxing music and brainstorm. Use the newfound clarity you have to assess major areas of your life, set up new milestones, and be bold and honest. There are plenty of ways to be happy alone, and using alone time as a catalyst and a medium for growth is one of the most effective ones.
Related Reading: 15 Signs You Had Toxic Parents And You Never Knew It
5. Start meditating daily and reflect on the quality of your thoughts and emotions
We need moments of silence, we need moments of sacredness that are just for us. Having a daily morning routine with yourself is important when you’re looking for personal development. Practicing self-love, and focusing on your spiritual journey are different ways to be happy alone. Continue reading as all of this is going to make sense toward the end of the article.
Unfortunately, far too many of us go years without taking care of ourselves and it’s partially because modern societies don’t provide the space we need to tend to our own gardens. Consider yourself fortunate that you were able to recognize the need to get the hang of being alone. It’s time for you to establish your morning routine or a routine of some kind where you can be by yourself and spend time in self-reflection (but with kindness) on a daily basis.
There are numerous benefits to this. Not only will you be making progress in your overall health and lifestyle, but also in the quality of your daily life. Did we mention that through this you can finally stop carrying your emotional baggage? It’s truly a win-win situation. Every day before you start attending to the to-do list of the day, try spending some time meditating so you can focus on the things that are important to you. Daily meditation is one of the old-school ways to be happy alone, to start enjoying the solitude of your own company.
Since we’re always consuming content in the form of tweets, videos, and articles, it leaves no time for us to consciously process all this information we’re being bombarded with. This is one of the reasons that being without a phone or some sort of company makes people uneasy and restless, don’t let phones ruin your relationships. A morning routine, especially one with meditation, can be the space where you can reflect on the quality of your thoughts and emotions on a daily basis.
6. Distance yourself from painful memories and live in the moment
Human consciousness is capable of a myriad of things when it’s channeled in a focused manner toward a task. A large number of people find it difficult to stay in the moment, especially the ones who don’t practice mindfulness. The simplest way to practice being in the moment is by meditating. There are plenty of apps that can help you with guided meditations; even YouTube videos can give you the necessary support when starting out.
Memories of the past can create a lot of pain as much as they create pleasure. If you’ve noticed yourself constantly reliving a painful memory from the past, then it’s time to create the necessary distance from it. Analyzing these events is of little use to you now, since it’s already in the past. Since that is the case, doesn’t it make sense to make peace with the past?
There is a significant amount of research that shows meditation helps you distance yourself from painful memories. Only when you hold your past at a distance from you, you’ll be able to stay in the present. Whatever has happened in the past can’t be changed now and since the future is not here, all there is for you to experience is the present.
It is the stability and inevitably of this present moment that can make one happy. If you’re living with what happened in the past, you’ve lost the opportunity of creating a happy present for yourself. Similarly, you miss the opportunity of creating the future you wish for when you’re worried about it.
How to be happy alone in the present moment you ask? By reminding yourself that the ‘present’ moment is a ‘gift’ from the Universe to you. It’s free from the pain of the past and worries of the future, you just have to be mindful of it.
Related Reading: 9 Ways To Practice Mindfulness In Intimate Relationships
7. Recognize the difference between being alone and lonely
Right now, as you read this article, if you’re sitting by yourself in a room, then you are alone. When you keep the phone away and start wishing for company, then you’re lonely. The former is a fact and the latter is a human emotion. Do you now understand what we meant by being happy alone and single?
Research suggests that loneliness is associated with poor social skills, introversion, or even depression. There is no common cause for loneliness but it’s important to understand that loneliness is a state of mind. When I was a freshman in college, I felt lonely in spite of being surrounded by my peers. I was longing to be with my partner as the long-distance relationship was taking a toll on me. Loneliness is often involuntary.
Being alone is not a bad thing, even though it’s often perceived as something negative. You can be alone without being lonely. It is important to learn how to handle being alone as even the most social of us spend a lot of time away from people. Our advice to you is that you recognize what triggers the loneliness and set it aside by replacing it with some time with yourself.
In the previous points, we went through the importance of solitude and how you can benefit from it. People who enjoy solitude can make the voluntary choice to be alone and happy. When such an individual craves social connections, they can tap into their existing relationships. If you wanted to know how to be happy alone and have a balanced approach, now you know.
8. Seek expert advice if nothing seems to be working
If you’ve reached this far into the article, we hope you have been able to understand what’s bothering you and how you can deal with it. However, if you’re feeling stuck and no tips seem to work for you, then it’s best to reach out to a mental health expert.
Sometimes, going out and socializing is not enough, meditation isn’t enough, journaling only seems to work occasionally, and nothing sticks. This is when you need to consider seeing a therapist about your problems. The simplest sign of a weak connection to oneself is when you don’t enjoy the activities you once did. This is a result of alienation from life and a disconnect with your hobbies or from socializing.
It’s important to remember that reaching out is not a sign of weakness, but a significant step toward the path of self-care. And the sooner you seek help, the faster you can get back on track. Going to therapy can have numerous benefits, especially if you’re having trouble regulating your emotions, or experiencing disruptions in sleep or appetite.
If you’re struggling to feel happy alone, at Bonobology we have a wide panel of experts to guide you through any challenging time you may be going through. You can confide in our experts and get incisive insights about your problems, in the comfort of your home and at affordable prices.
9. Cultivate a new hobby or revive old ones
Hobbies provide a fulfilling and productive use of our free time. Our core identities are often bound up in the interests we choose to pursue when we are not working, sleeping, or spending time with loved ones. Having a hobby that we enjoy brings us joy and enriches our lives. It’s one of the simplest ways you can start dating yourself.
Hobbies help you release stress by keeping you engaged in activities that aren’t associated with work, chores, or responsibilities. The answer to “How to be happy alone?” lies in finding something fun to do during your leisure time. Moreover, when you enjoy doing something, you must already be good at it and this gives your confidence and self-esteem a boost.
A hobby doesn’t have to be a time-filler between working and hanging out with friends. It can morph into a passion that gets you excited, helps you recover from a long day, or gets your mind working. It helps you boost the quality of your life, and that’s why they’re so important to have when you’re learning how to be happy alone.
Most of us have hobbies. The few who don’t are probably thinking to themselves, “How to be alone and happy if I don’t have any hobbies?” We have a solution for that. It’s not that you don’t have hobbies, you’ve either outgrown them or need more time in exploring your interests. In either case, starting with simple activities like reading, dancing in your room to music you like, volunteering in the community, gardening, or going to watch a movie by yourself can break the ice for you.
Related Reading: The 12 Mantras Of Being Happily Single While You Are Single
10. Start following your passion
When all goes well, why not push your dreams? Once you start to follow the tips listed in this article, we’re certain you would be closer to peace than when you started. You now know how to be happy alone and resist any feelings of loneliness whenever they tend to surface. It’s highly likely that if you have the right ideas and determination, you can turn your hobbies into a profitable passion.
The more you’re involved in doing things you love to do, there’s hope that you can turn that into a career opportunity. Being happy alone and single will then be your natural state of being. It’s not that you will stop wanting relationships, but now you can consciously choose if you wish to take up a partner. Being single has its awesome perks too.
But what if you’re not particularly passionate about anything? Where do you start? Well, first of all, everyone has a passion — you probably haven’t discovered yours yet. But don’t worry, there are a lot of easy (and painless) ways to find out just what it is.
If you don’t know where to begin, think back to what you loved doing as a kid. Those were the times you were wild and free, and you didn’t do something unless you really, really loved it. Chances are, you still have a lot of those same core interests. Think about the last thing that made you forget about having lunch, these are the things you enjoy doing and quite possibly the passion you’re looking for.
If you’ve stuck around till the end of this piece, you’ve surely found some tips that helped you understand the process of how to be happy alone. We hope you make good use of your alone time and become the best version of yourself.
Yes! You can be happy if you’re alone, in fact, that is how it should be. You have to learn to enjoy your company as you’ll be spending most of your time here on Earth by yourself. If you view yourself as a happy and content individual, you will be happy all the time.
A few reasons why spending time in solitude can be the best experience of your daily life are an increase in productivity and a decrease in distractions and external noise. It helps improve and strengthen mental health. Another reason is it can give you time to plan your life and work toward your passion.