Are you ignoring someone you are attracted to? No matter how dichotomous this sentence sounds we all have indulged in something like this some time or the other. Sometimes ignoring someone you love works wonders than showering them with attention.
It’s better to step back at times to give the one you love the time, and space to realize what they want from the relationship. If you have a crush on someone, pursuing that person relentlessly might not be the perfect modus operandi.
Ignoring your crush could be a better idea to get the attention you want. You might be thinking how can ignoring someone get you attention? Well then, read on.
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Psychology Of Ignoring Someone
There is a possibility of misunderstanding what we are talking about here. When we talk about the psychology of ignoring someone then inevitably people think of silent treatment or stonewalling someone which are nothing but emotional abuse in a relationship. This has immense negative effects on a person’s mental health.
But when we are talking about ignoring someone to get that person’s attention it is a simpler way of getting the attention of the one you love by maintaining the distance from the person for some time. We will tell you what we mean and how you can do with finesse and intelligence.
Julia and Ron started dating after they met through friends. Just a month into the relationship Ron realised that Julia loved hanging out with her friends at the pubs late in the night and Ron often messaged her a few times to check if she reached home and worried a lot for her.
Julia, who was 25, thought she was completely capable of taking care of herself. She had been used to this lifestyle long before Ron came into her life, so she looked at Ron’s concern as an intrusion into her life. One fine day Ron stopped messaging to check on her.
Although he maintained a normal relationship with her the nightly messages of concern stopped. He never mentioned it to her either.
Three days later Julia asked Ron why he stopped asking if she reached home or not. Ron said he didn’t want to intrude. Two days later at midnight, he saw a message sitting in his inbox, “Reached home. Don’t worry.” He smiled.
Sometimes we end up making ourselves looking clingy or needy by giving too much attention to a person. Ignoring them often puts things into perspective. Be it in a new relationship or the one that has seen a few autumns already, ignoring someone you are attracted to is actually playing it right.
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Ignoring Someone You Are Attracted To – How To Do It
Is it good to ignore your crush? You might be wondering. Isn’t playing it right all about giving your crush attention? Not always. Sometimes having your own space and giving your crush their own space works wonders.
When we fall for someone or we start dating someone, we have the tendency to try to let them know that we are constantly thinking of them, we keep texting them, wanting to make them aware that our world revolves around them.
That’s when we start double texting them or pestering them to spend time together and we come out too clingy. If you want to play it right then here are 8 ways you should be ignoring someone you are attracted to.
1. Don’t rush to them
Is it good to ignore your crush? Yes, sometimes it is. If you spot your crush in a room full of people you might have the instinct to do a victory dance as soon you see them and then rush into a tight Hello hug but it’s best to show some restraint.
Say “hello” to other people before you proceed to greet them. Be warm in your greeting but ensure they do not feel that you actually have the butterflies in your stomach.
Act suave and cool and casually ask about their weekend plans. Then drop a hint that you are free over the weekend and leave it there.
Don’t go into sulk mode if they don’t call you and fix a date. If not this weekend maybe it will be the next. Trust us ignoring can bring relationship bliss.
2. Have patience
Ignoring someone you are attracted to needs a certain level of patience. This is not an impatient person’s cup of tea. The first thing that you have to understand is why someone ignores their crush to get attention. It’s simple by playing hard to get you will know to what extent your crush is ready to go to give you attention. If they are willing to chase you.
For that, you will have to have oodles of patience because sometimes when you ignore your crush they could ignore you back and then you might feel that the plan is not working. Make an extra effort then and show some interest if they respond then you know your patience paid off.
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3. Don’t overdo it
Is it good to ignore your crush? Certainly. But do not make it a habit. If you ignore your crush more often than giving them attention then there is a possibility that you would push them away and the harm done will have a permanent effect. Then wooing them back would be a far difficult job.
When you are ignoring someone to get their attention you have to ensure that you do not overdo it. People do get put off if they are ignored all the time. They would rather move away than lean in.
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4. Use your instincts
If you have been ignoring your crush and looking for attention then you have to use your instincts on how much to ignore and when to show interest?
Many people tend to make the mistake of taking the ignoring part to the point of no return. If ignoring gets you results and your crush or your date makes the effort to get in touch with you, fix dates and spend time together then you are doing it right.
But if your ignoring is resulting in long periods of silence then maybe your instinct should tell you to make the phone call. This is a very precarious situation you are in and if you make one wrong move then you will lose their attention. Be careful you don’t let that silence grow.
5. Ignore but be kind
Ignoring someone could mean that you are not showing that kind of interest in them. But that should not make you unkind in any way.
Not taking calls on purpose or not answering messages for hours to ensure that you are doing the ignoring bit right, can bring out the unkind person in you.
If you really love someone you would not subject them to this rudeness. Know the difference between unkindness and purposeful ignoring.
Sometimes some men do not text first but if you initiate a text they would always answer. This way they are being polite but they might not talk about the next date immediately. That’s alright. As long you are civil and kind towards each other it will work.
6. Spring surprises
If you want to ignore your crush and get their attention then don’t forget to spring surprises. Unpredictability is the name of the game. Do what your crush least expects you to do. When a girl ignores you but likes you she might try to do something like this.
If he mentioned that he had a hard day at work then she can DoorDash some food to their place. Beware! You might have this overbearing urge to land up at their doorstep in person with food. But that’s when you have to know how much is too much.
By using DoorDash you can spring a surprise but you are not going all out either. Appearing at their doorstep might actually end up being a rude shock. Their apartment might be in shambles and you might end up giving the wrong signals.
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7. Show interest but not too much
Ignoring someone you are attracted to is not like turning your back on that person completely. That would be the worst thing to do. Show interest. Maybe over a conversation, you can ask them about their parents or career goals but steer clear of asking about relationships and exes.
That way you will show some interest in their life but at the same time, they will know that you are not going crazy to know about their personal life.
Chances are they will gradually share details about themselves to make you aware they are open to a relationship.
8. Don’t be available all the time
A classic way to ignoring your crush to ensure you get attention is not to jump in joy when they make any plans. Avoiding someone you are attracted to is not something we are telling you to do.
A good idea would be to change dates according to your availability. Don’t say “yes” the moment they say they would drop in for a cup of coffee.
We know it’s hard to say no and the idea of an evening in with a cuppa with someone you fancy is really enticing but you are busy with a project aren’t you? Give them another day and date when they can drop in.
Maybe you can make an extra effort and bake some brownies. But not jumping at the first opportunity is really a good idea. Trust us.
Ignoring someone to get their attention is about playing some interesting mind games. But if you are really serious about a relationship then being honest is always the key. Once you are in a relationship often ignoring certain things to bring your partner’s attention to it helps. We hope you got the idea about the right ways to do it – that is ignoring someone you are attracted to.
Usually girls ignore someone they are attracted to because they try to make sure that the man is genuinely interested or making some effort to woo them. Men on the other hand don’t want to appear too interested or needy so they also end up ignoring their crush.
Guys are ever scared of being rejected. They sometimes find it hard to read the mixed signals sent out by women so they end up ignoring the person they are crushing on. It’s a way guys play hard to get and at the same time try to fathom your interest in them.
If you are ignoring someone it could leave them a bit confused but they might make the effort to woo you then.
If you are ignoring someone you are attracted to it says that you are a cautious person and you don’t let your feelings show unless you are sure that the other person is also interested.