“Am I Happy in my Relationship Quiz” – Find Out

Am I happy in my relationship quiz

What’s a good relationship supposed to feel like? Should you feel in love every single day, or is it a more consistent sense of attachment? Just how ugly can your fights get before it becomes toxic, and how much disrespect is too much? “Am I happy in my relationship?” is a question that all of us have asked ourselves, despite how happy we may seem in our Instagram selfies. 

Things may look like they’re going great for about a week or so — but then the nasty fights that you can’t stop having over the next few days may make you reconsider the entire relationship. As the raised voices don’t seem to stop, you might even wonder if you’ve landed yourself in something that’s about to blow up. 

Before you label your relationship or even your partner with an unforgivable term, taking a minute to ponder the question, “Am I happy in my relationship?” will do you some good. Just so you don’t end up letting paranoia get the better of a wonderful relationship, let’s take a look at a few things to consider. 

The “Am I Happy In My Relationship?” Quiz To Help You Figure It Out 

You enter into a relationship with your own ideas of what it’s supposed to look like, and so does your partner. You may be all rainbows and butterflies, while your partner may not be the mushiest person out there. 

As a result, fleeting doubts about “Why am I not happy in my relationship anymore?” are perfectly normal. Sometimes, you may not necessarily be unhappy; you might just not have a grasp on how to fix the communication issues in your relationship

Even so, there are definitely times when you might be turning a blind eye to the more glaring signs of unhappiness. Are you in it because you love being in love? Are you sure about what you have? Are you left asking yourself, “Am I happy in my relationship or just comfortable?” 

The following questions will help you figure out where you’re at. Let’s figure out if the sweaty palms your relationship gives you are because of anxiety about the future or excitement about what’s in store. 

1. Are your emotional intimacy needs being met? 

Emotional intimacy is perhaps the most important factor in what keeps a relationship going. When things calm down, you can’t really rely on the fluffy cuffs to keep the spark going. You’ve eventually got to make sure you can confide in your partner without rethinking it.

Can you tell your partner anything you want to? Can they empathize with you and you with them? These questions are the most important ones to ask when you’re trying to answer the question, “Am I happy in my relationship?” 

Related Reading: 9 Signs You Are In A “Right Person Wrong Time” Situation

2. Are you sexually satisfied? 

Sure, emotional intimacy might arguably be a bit more important, but consistently being sexually dissatisfied is a recipe for disaster. You might let it slide for a while, but you’ll eventually passive-aggressively send your partner a few articles about how to spice things up

Before it leads to disaster, try to have a conversation about it. How productively that conversation leads to a conclusion also indicates if you are happy in your relationship. 

3. Do you know each other? 

If you’re consistently thinking things like, “Am I happy in my relationship?” it may be time to think about whether you really know your partner or not. Apart from the feelings you share for each other, do you really know what your partner is like? Do you agree with their worldview, do you love them for their personality, do you know about their childhood influences? 

4. Do you feel good about the future? 

Put aside all the time you’ve invested and all the feelings you think you have towards this person. Put aside all the gifts, all the surprise visits and all the kind gestures, and ask yourself: Do you see yourself with this person five or ten years down the line? 

It doesn’t matter what stage of the relationship you’re in, feeling good about the future is a basic necessity. Based on how you answer that question, you’re going to have a much better understanding of just how happy or unhappy you are. 

5. Are you fixing your issues and not ignoring them? 

If the future looks grim, or you just ended up having an annoying speck of doubt about that last question, ask yourself if you’re successfully ignoring something that may be a problem. If you are, chances are you might just be infatuated. 

Feeling whole indicates you are happy in your relationship
Does your partner make you feel cared for?

6. Are you happy with the way you resolve fights? 

Conflict resolution is a huge and often overlooked aspect of a relationship. Do your fights end with “Can we stop talking about this please?” Or do they end on a more positive note, “I’m glad we were able to talk it out and settle that”?

If you’ve found yourself saying something like, “I am not happy in my relationship, but I love him,” it may be because you two can’t stop fighting. And that’s probably because you never solve any of the issues you keep fighting about. 

7. Is your partner happy? 

Yes, the answer to the question, “Why am I not happy in my relationship anymore?” might not even have much to do with you. Ask your partner if they’re truly happy and if they feel satisfied. And if they answer with, “I don’t know, I’m not really sure,” don’t freak out, keep calm and send them this article instead, so they can find out if they’re happy or not. 

8. Does your partner make you feel whole?

Does it feel like there’s something missing? Does it feel like you’d be happier if something you can’t change or address was fixed? Do you feel as though your needs are not being met and thereby making you feel incomplete? 

In a happy relationship, both partners feel that they can grow, both as individuals and as a couple. They feel secure and whole, not incomplete and insecure. 

9. Do you feel respected? 

Mutual respect is pretty much a non-negotiable in any relationship. Without it, you’re always going to be playing second fiddle, and you’re not going to feel very valued. If you’ve asked yourself questions like, “Why am I not happy in my relationship anymore?” it may be because the infatuation that has faded away has made you realize you’re not respected in this dynamic. 

10. Are you happy with how you communicate with each other? 

Are you keeping secrets from each other, or are you capable of telling each other anything without fear of being judged for it? Being able to openly communicate with your partner and reaching constructive conclusions by the end of your conversations indicates you are happy in your relationship — or at least have the potential to be. 

Related Reading: How To Know If Someone Is Right For You? Take This Quiz

11. Are you happy with your partner’s values? 

Do your values differ to the point where you can’t even have a conversation about, say, your political ideologies or your views on life? Is one extremely religious, while the other actively avoids conversation about religion? 

Having different values is alright as long as you can look past them and they don’t risk the foundation of your dynamic. If you’re asking yourself, “Am I happy in my relationship?” try to figure out if the doubts arose because of who your partner votes for. 

on happy couples

12. Are you satisfied with your partner without wanting to change them? 

Do you want to change your partner because you’d like them to behave in a certain way that they’re not currently doing? Perhaps you have a problem with your partner’s love language and want them to change the way they show love, but they’re just not okay with indulging in all that PDA. 

Do you want to change the fundamentals of each other’s personalities? Asking yourself hard-hitting questions such as these will tell you what you need to know. 

13. Are you compatible with your partner? 

If you do realize that one of you wants to change the other in some way, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself if you and your partner are even compatible. Take sex out of the equation. Can you be best friends with each other? If the answer is an astounding yes, it may be one of the best signs that indicates you are happy in your relationship. 

14. Do you deal with jealousy or insecurity effectively? 

Feeling a pang of healthy jealousy when your partner gives more attention to someone other than you is extremely normal. But when such incidents turn into week-long fights and make you both question the trust you have, they can indicate larger problems. 

Do trust and insecurity issues linger longer than they should? Are you capable of working through them, or do they cause permanent rifts? If you’re constantly thinking things like, “I am not happy in my relationship, but I love him,” it may be because you may have some issues you need to address. 

15. Does your partner make you happy? 

Sometimes, the answer to “Am I happy in my relationship or just comfortable?” lies in the basic questions you need to ask yourself. Do you involuntarily wear a smile on your face as soon as you see your partner? Do you enjoy being with them? 

If the idea of spending tons of quality time with your partner fills you up with joy, it indicates you are happy in your relationship. If you’d rather watch Netflix alone, however, you might have some thinking to do. 

16. Do you feel loved? 

Sure, you may say, “I love you” to each other all the time, but can you ever really see your partner making an effort to show it to you? If your best friend makes you feel more validated than your partner does, you need to let them know that you don’t necessarily feel wanted.

17. Can you confidently say this relationship isn’t harming you mentally or physically? 

In other words, are you in a toxic relationship? If you are, you shouldn’t really be struggling to find an answer to questions like, “Am I happy in my relationship?” When a relationship turns mentally or physically abusive, it’s time to stop giving your partner any more chances and to figure out how to get out of it. 

Related Reading: 50 Signs A Girl Likes You – You Can’t Go Wrong With These!

Calculating The Results Of The “Am I Happy In My Relationship?” Quiz

To answer the question of whether you’re happy in your relationship or not, go ahead and tally your score from the quiz. Based on how many points you could answer “Yes” to, let’s take a look at what it means:

More than 13:If you answered “Yes” to more than 13 of the listed points, you’re overall quite happy with the strength of your relationship. If you landed on this article because of a few common relationship problems, perhaps that’s only a fork stuck in the road, and it’s nothing a bit of pulling won’t fix. 

Between 8-13: If you answered “Yes” anywhere between 8-13 times, there’s some work to be done for your dynamic. Don’t be disheartened, unless yours isn’t a damaging toxic relationship, your issues can be resolved with effective communication. 

Less than 8: If you answered “Yes” to less than 8 of the questions, you’re very clearly not happy with the way things are in your relationship. Perhaps the best thing to do is to take some time out to think about what it is you want going forward. Once you’ve reached a decision, make sure you have the courage to follow through with it.

Through this list of questions and your score, we hope you’re able to figure out what indicates that you are happy in your relationship and what tells you you’re not. In the end, it’s important to remember that you define your own happiness, and what works for you might not necessarily be the idea of happiness that others relate to. 

And if you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re currently in a not-so-happy relationship, it may not be the end of the road just yet. With a bit of excellent counseling, healing is possible. And if it’s healing you’re after, Bonobology’s multitude of experienced counselors are just a click away. 

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