Couples on Instagram might make you yearn for a pastel wedding and a Bahamas honeymoon. But their orchestrated life through a filtered lens greatly differs from reality. Don’t let the FOMO make you forget the benefits of not getting married.
No, we are not suggesting you ride the train to celibacy or singlehood. Just don’t rush into a marriage due to societal pressure. You can stay single for as long as you like or live a beautiful life with your partner without ever tying the knot. There are a plethora of reasons to not get married. From evading tax to avoiding nuptial responsibilities or just saving yourself from the expenses of a lavish wedding. Whatever your reasons might be, here’s why your decision stands.
9 Awesome Benefits Of Not Getting Married
According to estimates, more than 35 million people are single in the USA? These people form 31% of the whole adult population and yet, 50% of these individuals are voluntarily enjoying their singlehood. This indicates they are not even looking to date, much less to settle down. Besides them, 17 million lovers refuse to tie the knot. The number of unmarried couples cohabiting has tripled in the past two decades. While these statistics might astonish some, for others it’s a part and parcel of their life.
Here are some reasons walking down the aisle might not be the best idea.
1. Perks of being single
If you are averse to the idea of a romantic relationship, marriage is far off your radar. People dealing with trauma or a failed past relationship may not want to dive into a relationship. Also, many asexual people love being single. Whatever your reason may be, it’s wise to give yourself space and time to grow or heal before committing to another person. It also saves you from more complications in life that usually come with new relationships.
Nowadays, more Millenials are choosing to stay single, rather than falling into the marriage trap. This is because they are growing to be highly goal-oriented and seek career achievement more than marriage. Instead of forcing yourself down the aisle, you can pick your freedom of choice and seek other priorities.
2. Financial benefits of not getting married
Let’s delve into the math of it. Research suggests that an average wedding costs more than a whopping $30,000? A single-day expense leads straight to unending loan payments.
People who skip a wedding ceremony save up more, and can invest this money for long-term rewards. Besides the exorbitant costs of a single day, not getting married can also help your credit situation. With the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, you can take a loan without a partner. Moreover, you can help improve your or your partner’s credit score without having to marry them. Just add them as authorized users of your credit card. The finance part of life doesn’t require a white dress or vows on the altar.
If you want to get married for the sake of your partner’s health insurance plan, kindly refrain. There are plenty of companies offering it to domestic partners. They mostly need proof of your live-in status for the past 6 months and a plan to remain as such indefinitely. Most importantly, many people cherish their financial freedom a lot. Staying single or unmarried gets you out of the obligation of sharing bank accounts with your partner. If you don’t want to discuss or explain where, when, and how you spend your money, just skip the drill.
3. Consequences of marrying at the wrong age
We all have aunts and mothers who married before 18 and had children in their early twenties. Now, they look down at you and scoff when you talk about not getting married. The average age of marriage now lies between 25 and 30, and quite rightly so!
The benefits of not getting married young are exceptional and abundant. The 20s are the time of your life when you are figuring yourself out. You need to focus on your aspirations, likes, dislikes, sexual awareness, and career goals. Also, it’s a time with the least amount of responsibilities and the most scope of fun. You are neither bound to school or college nor have home restrictions or a 10 pm curfew. It’s the perfect time to work hard and party harder.
You can wake up, sleep, eat, travel, do plenty of girls’ night outs without feeling guilty and shop to your heart’s desire without being answerable to anyone. Getting married so early makes you miss out on these significant experiences. Moreover, you tend to lose close friends when you settle down, especially at an early age. The time to explore your sexuality and relationship preferences also cuts short when you marry young. Realizing that you prefer a polyamorous bond rather than monogamy after getting hitched can cause trouble. In essence, instead of rushing into a marriage, you should take the time to understand yourself and build your personality.
Related Reading: 18 Guaranteed Signs You Will Never Get Married
4. The adverse effects of a divorce
As much as we’d like to cling to the ‘a thousand years’ or ‘together forever’ dream, it’s not nearly possible. Most marriages come with an end date to it. We just don’t know it yet. Did you know, according to research, almost 50% of all marriages end up in a divorce or a separation? The stats rise to 60% if it’s your second marriage. The USA ranks 6th in the world when it comes to divorce rates. And divorces come at a hefty financial and emotional cost. The average cost of a divorce is more than $15,000. It could be worse if you have to pay alimony to your ex-spouse.
However, the emotional scars can’t be evaluated as a single value. People feel deep pain, confusion, and betrayal in relationships quite frequently. It can increase the chances of suicidal tendencies, PTSD, and other distressful psychological symptoms. The case worsens when there are children involved in a divorce. They are put through extra stress that can adversely affect their physical and mental well-being. Moreover, fighting over child custody or child-care expenses further leads to distress. While breakups can be as messy, if not more, and being single can be lonely as well, getting divorced is hell in itself. It’s advantageous to stay unmarried and avoid the nightmarish experience of a divorce.
5. You can avoid the dramatic in-laws
Let’s be honest, no one wants to chat with Aunty Betty every holiday. Or bear snide remarks from the ever-so-stern mother-in-law. It’s just not everyone’s cup of tea. Dealing with passive-aggressive in-laws and extended families takes a toll on our mental well-being. They are usually threatened by your presence. They don’t respect your boundaries and find fault in all your actions. Often, these types of in-laws are controlling, demeaning, and highly self-centered and many mothers-in-law ruin marriages more often than you think. They may not mesh well with your family as well. Their over-reactive actions can ruin more than just a Thanksgiving dinner.
The ongoing toxicity can even degrade the happiest of married lives. It creates an unnecessary strain on the couple. They start having fights and misunderstandings due to their family’s influence. Moreover, the partner with a noxious family suffers the brunt from both sides. They have to carefully tread the waters without offending their family or their spouse. The best-case scenario where your in-laws are perfectly sweet and nice can also prove difficult. You might have to take care of their health and finances. This is why many people choose to skip the in-law fiasco and live stress-free.
6. A challenging decision
Are you more of an introvert or a private person? Do you dislike sharing your personal space? Do you have a disability that makes cohabiting a place with another person a nuisance for you? If your personal preferences clash with the idea of traditional marriage, then skip it altogether. A successful married life requires an equal amount of sacrifices and adjustments from the couple. Thus, you have to be 100% willing and excited about this idea before tying the knot.
Each person has a unique personality, life story, and goals. For instance, if you have a child with a previous partner or you adopted a child, then getting married is trickier for you than for someone who’s child-free by choice. Your first and foremost responsibility lies toward your child. This means that your child’s compatibility with your partner is as important as your commitment to them. If your soon-to-be spouse isn’t as fond of your child, marrying them makes no sense.
The benefits of not getting married when you have a child are infinite. It saves you and your child the trouble of adjusting to a new person in the house. It also helps you avoid all the hassle for your child that ensues with your marriage. Similarly, marriage isn’t for you if you despise commitment and prefer living a life without strings attached to any person. It’s better to explore the alternatives rather than letting peer pressure win over your senses.
7. Tax benefits of not getting married
For a long while, some people have been getting married for the wrong reasons. The delusion of excessive tax savings is just that – a delusion. With changing times, incomes, and working partners, tax remittances are just not as attractive as they were before. In the olden times, women usually stayed at home and the husband was the sole breadwinner for the family. In addition, even if the wife worked, the disparity between their incomes was high. Cue to current times, the scenario is changing.
As the married couple’s income and equality of income rises, so does the tax penalty. Couples pay more taxes than singles when:
– Both partners are high-income earners
– Both partners earn low income without any children
– Dual income earners
Related Reading: How Money Issues Can Ruin Your Relationship
8. Consequences on overall well-being
Marriage is not a bed of roses. It comes with its own set of issues and complications. A stressful married life can cause an emotional upheaval and deteriorate your mental health. A couple’s stress level goes off the roof as they deal with marital conflicts, fights, or abuse. Research suggests this discontent can dismantle their immune system and raise their mortality risks. In fact, more arguments lead to higher depression, anxiety, and lower subjective well-being.
Besides serious health issues, people also tend to let themselves go once they are married. They focus less on their own hobbies, grooming, and self-care. You might have seen that when your friends get married or pregnant, their personalities change too. Consider it an after-effect of their responsibilities or overbearing in-laws. Whatever the case might be, we’ve all lost our friends once they shack up. Research agrees with your observation, that married people tend to become less extroverted and closed off. This directly leads to a smaller friend circle.
9. The alternate route to live with your partner
Not everyone is afraid of commitment. You can be certain about spending your life with someone, but just not fond of the institution of marriage. If that’s the case for you, there are plenty of options to explore. The benefits of not getting legally married are numerous. You can live together, become domestic partners, and enjoy all the perks of a married couple – without the tag, cost, and responsibilities of marriage. This can also keep you free of the stress of handling your family or the pressure of getting pregnant.
Another option is you stay close by without living in the same house. In this way, you forego the stress of sharing married responsibilities. You can live a free, separate life while still being together. Also, there are many people in open relationships with a variety of sexual preferences. These couples can decide to be together while providing the freedom to their respective partner to indulge sexually or emotionally with others. You can easily decide what works best for both of you without falling for the wedding norm.
Getting married for any reason less than love or emotional security is a mistake. You need to be financially and emotionally certain to legalize your relationship with a celebration. Don’t let yourself be bullied by societal expectations. You can snuff out your mother’s remarks to get married with the aforementioned facts and figures. Assess your priorities and decide wisely before jumping the gun!
It is perfectly fine if you are not keen to get married. It’s quite prevalent; staying single or with a partner without marriage is on the rise. Ignore the nay-sayers and do what your heart desires. People build their whole lives all alone, or with kids and the ‘white-picket home’ without this label and so can you.
Yes, you absolutely can, only if you truly want to. Throughout history, we’ve seen infinite people living a grand life feeling happily single on their own. Just make sure you understand and accept the consequences of both sides of the coin. Getting married or not is a personal choice, you have to make it and live with your decision regret-free.