In today’s modern landscape of relationships, age gap is hardly a deterrent to love. According to an in-depth survey conducted by an online platform, 27% of younger men were found to be attracted to older women. The same survey also revealed that 9% of single people were likely to pursue partners who were ten years older or younger than them. But why do younger men like older women?
To understand this statistical trend, let’s dive deeper into the psychology of older woman younger man relationships, with the help of emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney), who specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief, and loss, to name a few.
Why Do Younger Men Like Older Women- 15 Reasons
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Why is a younger man interested in an older woman? Pooja points out, “There can be many reasons for this. Men who have found affection only from older women associate security and love with older women, and hence feel an attraction toward them.
“Our ideals for relationships get set in childhood. Sometimes men have a strong notion of an “ideal woman” from childhood, this could either be someone just like their mother (if she was nice) or even someone completely opposite to their mother (if the relationship was complicated). They often could be projecting this on an adult partner.”
Also, older women bring a sense of understanding that is vital for any relationship to thrive. Because of experience and age, they have a lot to offer. A Reddit user wrote, “It’s not even that specifically I like older women, it just so happens that the girls/women I liked were always older than me. I’m into people who are more down to earth and not shallow, which girls my age tended to lack heavily.”
Another Reddit user wrote, “28M here and absolutely. I mainly look around my age but I really like women in their 30s. Typically they have a bit more maturity and have their priorities figured out. It’s what I want personally.” So, you see, the psychology of older woman younger man relationships is quite complex. If you’re wondering, “Why do guys like older women?”, here’s a list of 15 reasons to answer your question:
1. More life experience
Why do younger men like older women? This is because an older woman is:
- Well-established and driven
- Ambitious and has a hunger to succeed
- A positive role model to those around her
Men who like older women are often positively influenced by their partners. These women are achievers and have had more life experience, be it in the work field or in gauging people. This combination of smartness and strength is why younger men like older woman.
Related Reading: 12 Facts Of Older Woman Younger Man Relationships
2. Why younger men like older women – They are highly experienced
There are a lot of perks to falling in love with a girl older than you. Pooja says, “Older women are emotionally stable and so they are able to create a safe space for a younger man. Often they are also sexually more experienced, so the sexual intimacy is more gratifying.”
Even when they know that the relationship might not turn into a lifetime commitment, they are open to enjoying the experience while it lasts. For younger men, a relationship with an older woman is like being on an adventure with someone who is as excited and open as they are.
3. Younger men fall in love with an older woman for her honesty
Older women are generally honest and straightforward in relationships. They do not beat around the bush; when they dislike something they tell you upfront. If they want something, they state it clearly. Their emotional maturity ensures there are generally no guessing games or communication problems. This may be one of the reasons why men date older women. Men do not have to read between the lines and think if the no actually means a yes. So a relationship with an older woman is almost always smooth.
Responding to the question, why do younger men like older women, a Reddit user wrote, “Speaking as a young man who’s always been a bit of an old soul, older women are generally just more open-minded and offer a new perspective. Better conversations, more life experience, more reasonable standards, better stories, generally more laidback and secure in themselves… I just don’t really see eye to eye with most women my own age, but I get along with older females like a house on fire.”
4. They aren’t obsessed with their virtual life
Older women don’t consider maintaining Snap streaks or texting back and forth as a necessity to keep the relationship going. Their detachment from technology is why men like older women. There is little scope for technoference in the relationship, which means the partners have a real shot at building a deep, meaningful connection. The sense of fulfillment that stems from such a relationship is one of the reasons why men date older women.
Furthermore, mature ladies do not post every milestone of the relationship on Instagram. They invest more in meaningful conversations that involve words and feelings, not selfies and check-ins on social media. Since they’ve mastered the art of enjoying life in the simplest possible manner, you can’t be blamed for being a younger man attracted to older women.
Related Reading: 10 Must-Watch Younger Man Older Woman Relationship Movies
5. They don’t need continuous pampering
Why do younger men like older women? Younger women (almost as a rule) need a lot of attention and all the paraphernalia that goes with it. Older women, on the other hand, are generally more self-assured. They understand the need for individual space. They are:
- Happy to rest their legs on the coffee table in their cozy living room when their SO is out partying at a dance club
- Content reading a book next to their boyfriend
- A fan of being pampered but the focus is on having fun rather than seeking constant validation
- Not high maintenance
6. Independence is why men like older women
Why would a younger man end up falling in love with an older woman? Pooja replies, “Older women are usually more sensitive and come from a place of emotional stability. Some of them could even be social or economic role models. Younger men can learn a lot from these women about themselves and about interpersonal relationships.”
As she points out, older women are financially stable, self-sufficient, and independent. They take a stand when they want to, give space more easily, and even back down when they see the situation demands it. Thus they are less likely to be clingy or needy, which makes them much easier to get along with.
7. Older women know how to take things slow
Instead of rushing into lifetime commitments, older women like living life at a slow pace. They take time to understand their partners and this easy pace of the relationship is your answer to why younger men like older women. But, guys who like older women may have ulterior motives.
Pooja advises, “If there is only financial dependence from his end and he doesn’t add to the relationship sexually, mentally, and emotionally, then probably this is only about money. Having a roving eye for younger women or not acknowledging this relationship publicly could be other red flags.”
8. Why do men like older women? They are in touch with reality
Women in their prime youth live in a fantasy world, which is a given at that age. They dream of knights in shining armor and happily-ever-afters. But the reality is different — there are heartbreaks and disappointments. Older women understand the gray areas of life much better. So they are more pragmatic in their approach toward relationships, which can be a huge drawcard for a romantic interest.
When we talk about a reality check, we must also talk about the societal prejudice that comes with falling in love with a girl older than you. Pooja advises, “Older women partners are called ‘cradle snatchers’ and whatnot! If you are making an unconventional decision, you must be ready to face some opposition. But you both must stay united and not let such biases cloud your views about your partner.”
9. They’re highly supportive
Why do younger men like older women? Falling in love with an older woman would mean getting meaningful advice and support to deal with life challenges better. It is the ideal opportunity for a younger man to grow into a mature individual. Pooja says, “Age is not such an important factor in any relationship if there is love, consent, and understanding. However, a difference in age often also means differing perspectives on situations. An older woman who has been through the ups and downs of life can offer a perspective that makes you look at the silver linings in dark clouds. This is just one of the many ways she can be a valuable support system.”
Related Reading: Confession Of A Married Woman In Love With A Younger Man
10. Older women can face relationship breakups maturely
Older women are well aware of the fact that relationships might reach a dead-end, especially relationships with younger men. Mature women accept that sometimes people grow apart or their goals become so divergent that staying together is no longer an option. If the situation demands it, they’re more prepared to let go. They:
- Do not typically create a storm over a breakup
- Deal with sadness and anger without getting the entire world involved
- Might even develop a lasting friendship with the man
One of our readers from Sacramento wrote to us about her friend, “She gifted herself a vacation to get over the young man she was seriously involved with. And yeah, she cried over it because the relationship meant something to her. But ultimately, she moved on without letting it define her life.”
11. They are more comfortable in their skin
As women age, they become more comfortable with their body type and weight and do not fret about it as much. They know just how to deal with body shaming and brush it off. By extension, they don’t pass the stress on to their boyfriends. Men who like older women lead an undramatic life. They can easily have a tub of ice cream on a bad day and realistically deal with what to do with it the next. This is a huge advantage of dating older women that younger men swear by. In fact, younger men like older women for their curvy, voluptuous bodies.
12. They are content with life
Since older women are experienced and professionally well-established, they, typically, lead content and happy lives. Life experiences teach them not to sweat the small stuff. They believe in just going with the flow of life rather than giving their all to turn the tide. This sense of self-assuredness tends to make people around them calm and tension-free as well. One of the reasons behind younger men dating older women could be the calm, content vibe that comes with such a relationship. Most young men claim to have changed for the better after dating an older woman.
13. Older women are committed and loyal
So, why do younger men like older women? Unlike younger women who may prefer to keep their options open, older women are more content with the relationship they have. Also, they typically have fuller lives — complete with a career, girlfriends, and social commitments — and little time to play games with other men.
Younger women have more energy and are generally more invested in finding a suitable partner to settle down with, hence they may keep exploring their options till they find the one. Older women, on the other hand, value what they have and tend to nurture it, and do not step out just because there is something better around the corner. In a relationship with an older woman, men don’t have to worry about issues like physical or emotional infidelity. This explains older woman younger man relationship statistics.
14. They’re super confident
Confidence blossoms with age. An older woman will not expect her partner to be at her beck and call every time something doesn’t go her way. And she will not need constant validation from him about her worth. Being comfortable in her own skin gives her the confidence to not fall into despair, so an older woman is generally pleasant and fun to be around.
Mature women do not get insecure by the beauty or accomplishments of other women around them. Getting involved in useless back-biting and bickering is not their style. All of these factors combined make her a force to reckon with. It’s no wonder then that younger men prefer older women to partners their own age.
15. Older women are less inhibited sexually
Older women are less inhibited because of their experience and know how to ask for what they want. Why do younger men like older women? A definite added bonus of such a relationship is that an older woman:
- Knows what she is doing in bed, which makes the experience all the more enjoyable
- Can be demanding in bed and even experimental with new kinks or fetishes
- Knows the importance of communication in the bedroom and thus allows for a more fulfilling intimate life
- Most people like older women for their independence, sexual experience, stability and honesty
- They are committed, mature and more in touch with reality
- Many men like older women because of their upbringing; they associate older women with the warmth and safety of motherly love
- Other perks are that older women are not high-maintenance and can even take breakups maturely
Gone are the days when younger men dating older women was considered taboo. If you display the signs a younger man likes an older woman or if you’re a woman who keeps wondering “Why do I attract younger guys?”, don’t let inhibitions brought on by years of societal conditioning about what an ideal romantic partnership should look like get in the way.
Did you know that French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte first met in high school? It was when Emmanuel was a 15-year-old high school student and Brigitte was a drama teacher. Despite the 24-year age gap, they went on to have a successful marriage. In fact, Brigitte even has a son who is two years older than Emmanuel! When many men like him didn’t care about societal expectations, why should you? So, just like the president, follow your heart, the rest is just noise.
The slang for a young man dating an older woman is cougar hunter. But perhaps, we should do away with these labels. If a older woman younger man romance makes two people happy, nothing else should matter. Most definitely, not the judgmental labels society has come up with.
When a person is in love, the age gap becomes irrelevant. Falling for someone happens naturally and organically, regardless of the age gap. Yes, an older woman younger man romance might not be socially acceptable but ultimately, what matters is what makes you happy. In such cases, relationship expert Susan Winter advises savage replies like “Oh I’m his lover, his mother is much younger!”
Maybe because you’re attracted to their energy and enthusiasm, which might be lacking in older men. Mature women and young men couples happen because the younger guy is open to trying out new things/experiences (unlike older men who are rigid). Don’t overthink it. If you’re looking for advice, here are two words: “Dive in!”