I asked this question to my husband, “How to know if you are an attractive guy?” He laughed and then said, “I almost have a bald spot. Do you still think I’m attractive?” This begets the question: How do people define attraction? Love may be the most complicated thing, but attraction comes a close second. Some people find well-toned bodies attractive, while others may have a thing for a particular kind of jawline. Attraction really is a mystery.
Attractiveness is subjective, or as they say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Japanese culture celebrated pitch-black teeth. Some African tribes consider it attractive to wear discs inserted into their lips. Many south-Asian countries favor fair skin, while the western countries prefer tanned bodies. There can’t be a unanimous vote on what makes a person attractive. Or can there be?
19 Definite Signs You Are An Attractive Guy
The popular belief about attraction is that it’s highly dependent on one’s physical features as well as a Eurocentric standard of beauty. Signs of a handsome face such as symmetrical facial structure, high cheekbones, thick facial hair, or traits of a healthy and fertile body such as height or well-developed muscles are considered to be primary factors in attraction. But physical features can only create the feeling of attraction born out of primal behavior. Attraction is perpetuated when other factors such as confidence, behavior, and external stimuli are favorable.
So, how to know if you are an attractive guy? To know if you’re truly attractive, you’ve to go beyond what you see in the mirror and the biased beauty standards of the day. When women see an attractive guy, they might not show it very obviously, but if men find a guy attractive, they may leave certain hints to show their interest. You can look at these powerful intense attraction signs to gauge your charm, but you can also perceive if you’re attractive once you analyze your behavior and lifestyle. Let’s have a look at these factors.
1. You get a lot of compliments
If you have an open and friendly aura, you’ll find that you get a lot of compliments. People like acknowledging good behavior and praiseworthy traits. It also motivates the receiver to repeat the behavior for which he has been complimented. But, sometimes attractive men don’t get a lot of compliments. A good idea would be to check the reaction of other people when you tell them this. If it shocks them, because they assume otherwise, then you truly are attractive. People sometimes avoid complimenting good-looking men because they might feel intimidated by an attractive and confident man. Additionally, people often assume you know you are an attractive male and don’t need it to be communicated to you.
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2. You are secure
Everyone has some sort of insecurities across a range of areas. But people who have it under control, or better yet, can overcome feeling insecure in a relationship appear confident and mature. They are seen as more attractive as compared to someone who is constantly worried about others’ opinions of themselves. Insecurity is not attractive. People find it respectable when people appear to have healed from something that had held them back.
3. You are kind and don’t judge other people
You’re kind. You like to empathize with people before making a conclusion about them. Physical beauty is temporary and superficial. But the kindness of the soul makes you well-liked and desirable even when you don’t conform to the beauty standards of the day. You’re also not judgmental. Secure people rarely are. Apart from that, you rarely have enough motivation to find out the unsavory details about other people’s lives. You have enough projects of your own and don’t feel the need to justify your flaws by pointing out others’. If you’re not judgemental, people find you more dependable and inspiring, and that automatically adds to your attraction quotient.
4. Heads turn to look at you
This is one of the major signs you are physically attractive. When you enter a room, you often find people gawking at you, their hands stopped inches from their drinks. It often appears that people point you out to their friends and look at you – appreciatively if they like you, or menacingly if they feel you’re messing up their chances in the dating pool. If they like you, sometimes they go out of their way to get a good look at you. Once while hanging out with friends, we counted the number of times the restaurant manager walked past our table so my very attractive friend would notice her. Needless to say, the receipt of the check was handed to him with her number on the back.
5. People are surprised if you call yourself average
Here’s how to know if you are an attractive guy – one of the signs you are physically attractive is that people are surprised when you call yourself average or “not good enough”. Research says that people often underestimate their attractiveness. Especially when comparing themselves to other people. This is called the ‘contrast effect’. If you’re conditioned to believe that you’re not as good-looking as the people around you, you may tend to believe that you are unattractive. To find out if you are an attractive male, you must consider the positive response from others instead of the negative (and possibly, culturally biased) response.
6. People find it difficult to believe you’re single
This is a sore spot with those guys who don’t know they’re attractive. When people see an attractive guy, they often assume that the guy would already be in a relationship. This leads to a very uncomfortable situation unless you clarify that you’re single. And their response is often expressed in shock. At that point, they may list out things that they think make you great to date, and that is a very good indicator that you’re attractive.
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7. Men pick on you for no reason
You’ve been bullied in school for no reason by the boys while the girls have been sweet. Even at work or other places, people who see you as a threat give you scathing looks. Warning off a male from a different pack is purely evolutionary behavior. Animals always do it to prevent other packs from crossing into their territory. Men become jealous even when they’re not a woman’s husband as they see you as competition. How to know if you are an attractive guy in such settings? If other people see you as someone who could drive their date or work opportunity away from them, they may give you warning looks, tight handshakes, or even aggressive shoulder bumps. Just be glad that the evolutionary behavior stops before marking territories with urine.
8. People like to do you favors
Have you ever stood in a queue in front of a disgruntled bank employee and yet she smiles and does what you ask for without asking you to come again? Does this happen often? People tend to do favors for those who they think would be grateful, polite, and inspiring. People who they consider ‘good’. Now, the goodness of a person is hardly ever related to their attractiveness, but research proves that people often unfairly consider attractive people as ‘good’. If people do you favors or have a favorable opinion of you, then some of it might be due to your attractiveness. Research even proves that attractiveness leads to social and economic benefits. Being attractive is a privilege and many people use it as a currency. If you’re one of those, be aware of your privilege and use it wisely.
9. You are well-groomed
You may not realize it, but if you’re well-dressed, wear subtle and pleasing scents, and take good care of your facial hair and hygiene, then people will consider you attractive. Also, it turns out that olfactory and acoustic cues play a major part in how people perceive someone’s attractiveness. Research indicates that attraction is multimodal, which means that people judge you not just by your looks, but on the basis of how you smell or sound. So, if you look great but smell like the armpits of a wrestler, it’s not going to work for you. So, how to know if you are an attractive guy? If you invest in your grooming, then there’s a great chance everyone around you likes you.
10. You are confident
Good body and facial structure can prove useless if you can’t carry yourself well or if you’re a nervous wreck even in the most beautiful suits. People who are aware of their physical features and are careful about wearing what suits them are usually perceived as more attractive than someone who dresses just to cover their bodies. A lot of it goes back to confidence. Confident men like to dress not just for fashion, but for comfort too. Confidence is what makes a man sexually attractive and is visible whether it’s the simplest of clothes or body language. So, if you like to get your posture right or walk with a purpose, people see that as attractive.
11. You are ambitious
People who are focused on their growth appear inspiring. When people appear ambitious in a positive way, i.e. not resorting to illegal or shady means, then they appear motivated, focused, and self-actualized. Ambitious people have an aura of purposefulness that appears attractive to most people. A quick note on how to know if you are an attractive guy from evolutionary psychology – Ambition in a man is looked at as the standard for his role as a provider in the family. In animals, the most sought-after male is the one that can hunt, and in humans, it’s the man who is ambitious.
12. How to know if you are an attractive guy? You are health-conscious
You are conscious of what you put in your body. You get routine check-ups, have some sort of workout schedule, and don’t go overboard with substances. Fertility is still, unfortunately, one of the major grounds on which evolutionary psychology defines attractiveness. A healthy body is often perceived as a sign of a fertile one and is one of the things women find attractive and sexy in men. If you’re someone who likes to keep healthy, people think that you are an attractive guy.
13. You can command a room
Leadership skills in a person are attractive. Continuing with evolutionary psychology from the previous point, leadership skills are the other attribute that makes a man appear as the alpha who can take care of the herd. In this case, the family. It’s not a surprise why so many cult leaders, tyrants, and dictators have a female fan base who are ready to kill for them (talking about you, Charles Manson). Though asking people to kill for you would be a bad idea to judge your attractiveness.
14. You rarely get rejected
How do you know if a girl thinks you’re attractive? Think back on how women perceive you. Have you been lucky when it comes to matters of love or lust? You rarely had to deal with rejection in love. Women or men don’t always reject you. When they do, it’s mostly because they are already committed. And not just in love, you’re the guy who got the nerdy girl in school to tutor you for the Trigonometry test, you can get the grumpy Walmart attendants to check for things in the back room, or can get your team to work on a weekend. Friends ask you to order things after the final call because they know you will charm the bartender to get your friends another pitcher of beer.
15. You are independent
Another trait that people view as a result of confidence is independence. You are financially independent, have your apartment, and can do a decent handyman job. But, you also know how to balance independence in a relationship. When you don’t have too many insecurities or emotional baggage, you’re less likely to cling to people for your issues. People see clinginess as unattractive and zeal for independence as attractive. Independence should not be confused with shutting down or hiding away from your emotions. Asking for emotional support and stating your needs is a sign of a healthy man.
16. Here’s how to know if you are an attractive guy – you don’t crave attention
You are not the guy who would wash his dirty linen in public or pretend to have a hundred sorrows to get people’s sympathy. If something bad happens, you take care of it yourself, though you’re secure enough to ask for help too. In gatherings, you don’t feel the need to wear your expensive watch to draw people’s attention. You would rather enjoy yourself. When you talk about yourself, you like to talk about your achievements, not what you’ve amassed. You don’t do things for attention.
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17. People often come to you and introduce themselves
A very telling trait that you’re an attractive guy is that people come to you to introduce themselves. It doesn’t have to be sexual. But it definitely means that they find your aura trusting. People always find confident men trustworthy. They feel they can confide in you and rely on your opinion. So, make a note of how many times a stranger comes to make their introduction. That tells you if you’re an attractive male.
18. You are not scared of tomorrow
How to know if you are an attractive guy? You don’t worry like everyone else about the project renewal, or even if you do, you don’t show it. People admire your courage and ability to stay calm under duress. You either have a solution or you’re hopeful that you will find one. Either way, you appear self-assured and reliable and can manage your anxiety in a healthy manner. People with anticipatory anxiety tend to have a pessimist outlook and pessimism is something women expect when they love a man with low self-esteem. An optimistic outlook is generally considered a positive and attractive trait.
19. You don’t obsess over unfavorable incidents
When you’re comfortable in your skin, you rarely think about a fork you dropped at dinner two weeks ago. Insecure men obsess over what other people think about them, leading them to speculate upon uncontrollable scenarios. When you don’t need constant validation or know how to self-soothe, you appear confident. And confidence is attractive.
Understanding attraction may be a daunting puzzle, but some things like confidence, good health, and a positive outlook are universally attractive. It all boils down to whether you appear as someone who can be depended upon. How do you know if a girl thinks you’re attractive or a guy thinks you’re charming? Look for the eye contact attraction and other visual cues they throw your way. Your physical features do play a role, but it often goes deeper than that. So, if you’re confident and charming, and people welcome your presence, I don’t have an ounce of doubt that you’re an attractive man.
How to know if you are an attractive guy? Physical features that suggest good health and immunity like height, good posture, well-developed muscles, and signs of a handsome face like dark facial eyebrows, high cheekbones, and sharp jawline make a man look attractive. But other cues like a good smell, deep voice, confidence, kindness, and charming personality are as important to gauge one’s attractiveness. If you possess the majority of the traits listed above, then you’re an attractive guy.
Nature shapes the female mind to look for physical attractiveness in a potential mate. But, in the modern world, women also look for confidence, focus, and a general compassionate outlook of the man. You only need to look at female body language signs of attraction to know that attraction isn’t dependent on physical features alone.