You had an image in your head of how your life would be. A dream job at 23, marry your high school sweetheart by 25, and have two kids by 32. One day, reality hits and you wake up to find you are a 30-year-old single person whose love life is as juicy as a dehydrated raisin. And you wonder how to cope with being single in your 30s. Believe me, when I say this, you are not alone.
There are many people out there who worry about being single at 30. After all, everyone around you seems to be getting married or starting a family. Then you have relatives that remind you of your biological clock. Some of the ‘nice’ ones will even point out that your prime years are going by and you are not gorgeous enough to attract an eligible partner at such an ‘advanced’ age.
So, no one can blame you if you start to feel depressed about being single at the age of 35. But is it weird to be single in your 30s? Let’s find out.
Is It Weird To Be Single In Your 30s?
It wasn’t that long ago that the average couple got married when they were barely 18. Today the world is a lot more relaxed about it. However, there are still many people who believe that there is a ‘proper’ time for everything and if you are unhitched in your 30s, then you have come to the very end of your marriageable age, if not passed it entirely. The constant barrage of criticism at your choice to remain unmarried might make you think, “What is wrong with me, why am I single?” It’s understandable but not really necessary.
The 30s is a beautiful age bracket to be in. You are a lot wiser and are not making foolish decisions (most of the time). You know yourself, your desires, your body, your career aspirations, and your value systems a lot better. Your hormones are way more stable now, so you are not going to have ‘NO RAGRETS’ tattooed on your chest after getting out of a bad relationship. By now, you are a lot more aware of the world and how things work. So, knowing how to cope with being single in your 30s won’t be a big deal either.
Now dating as a woman in 30s might seem a little worrisome because of the aforementioned biological clock and nosy relatives. Well, if you’re one of those who wants to have a biological child, here’s the good news: According to a study, while fertility peaks in the early 20s, the decline is very slow post that. And the difference in the fertility rate between a woman in the late 20s and early 30s is not much. So, you still have time.
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What Percentage Of 30-Year-Olds Are Single?
Dating in 30s is a whole lot of fun. Many people nowadays willingly stay single and live their life to the fullest. In the last decade, there has been a sharp decline in the number of young adults who are married. According to The Pew research center, in the year 2021, in the US, there were 128 million unmarried adults and 25% of them never want to marry. So, if you are thinking, “What is wrong with me, why am I single?”, then know that there are a lot of people in the same boat as you and there is nothing wrong with you. Remember, a romantic relationship doesn’t make you whole. You are a complete person irrespective of your relationship status.
How To Cope With Being Single In Your 30s – 11 Tips
All said and done, finding yourself single in your 30s can be a bit distressing at times because of the script that’s been handed down to all of us that we’re expected to follow. Here are some of the common things a lot of people feel in this phase of their life:
- Loneliness: You might be completely comfortable being solitary. But when you are alone all the time, it can get to you. Hence, feeling alone in 30s is very common
- Feeling a little lost: While you are single, the same cannot be said for your friends. And constantly third wheeling can get annoying after a while for the third wheel as well as the couple. So suddenly, you find yourself a few friends short
- You second-guess your entire life: You overanalyze everything you have done, trying to figure out how you got to this point. “Maybe I am too picky” or “I should have married him when he had asked” or “She was so caring, so what if she suspected me all the time, I would have gotten used to it eventually”
- Anxiety and depression: Dating can make a person feel anxious, especially dating as a woman in 30’s. You’re smart, you’re career-focused, and your standards are high. So it comes as no surprise that you end up feeling depressed about being single at 35 when you meet one bad date after another
The good news is we have some tips that can help you deal with these anxieties. Let us explore how to cope with being single in your 30s.
Related Reading: 9 Awesome Benefits Of Not Getting Married
1. Fall in love with yourself
Before you even begin dating in 30s, start by accepting and loving yourself. Making a decision when you dislike yourself will rarely ever lead to good choices. And these bad choices lead to issues that add to your insecurities, becoming a vicious circle.
Self-love will help you break the cycle. You learn to accept who you are and demand that of others too. Once that happens, you will find more and more people who love you just the way you are and don’t expect you to change for them.
2. Explore the world in order to cope with being single in your 30s
If you are in your 30s, then now is the time to travel. When you are young, you don’t have the finances to travel. And by the time you amass enough wealth to take a world tour, you are too old to rough things out. By your 30’s, you have enough money in your account to start traveling solo.
Traveling is not just about going to new places and staying in hotels and ordering room service. Though you can definitely do that too. It is also about exploring new cultures, cuisines, and sometimes, learning a new way of life. Traveling enriches your life and gives you a new perspective. And who knows, maybe the love of your life is sitting at a café in Venice doing crossword puzzles.
3. Focus on your career
Your career is a very important aspect of your life and if you’re wondering how to cope with being single in your 30s, then your career is the answer. One thing is certain, your partner might not stay with you forever. Your relationships may end. But your zeal to work stays with you forever irrespective of your relationship status.
If you are dating as a woman in her 30s, then you will indeed face a lot of heat from people for focusing on your career. However, that is not a reason for you to stop working hard. Your career is the fruit of your labor, and you should be proud of it.
4. Pick up a hobby
If you worry about being single in your 30s, then a good way to distract yourself from going down that rabbit hole is to pick up a hobby. Something you always wanted to do but kept shelving it because you were too busy establishing other aspects of your life.
It could be learning to play the drums or jewelry making. You could even start volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Hobbies help you unwind and give you a sense of achievement. It also makes you a more well-rounded person. And when you become good at it, you can use it as a flex too. All in all it is a win-win situation.
Related Reading: 13 Beautiful Ways To Date Yourself
5. Don’t compare yourself
27-year-olds, Stacy and Patrice, were best friends and they started working together at the same place at the same designation. They were doing well for themselves. Stacy got married and after 2 years, she got pregnant with her first child. Stacy knew she would have to pick between motherhood or career, but wanted to focus on her child entirely for the first few years, so she decided to take a break and quit her job for a few years. She started job hunting when her son was 3 years old. But the gap in her resume affected her prospects. She also could not pick up jobs that needed her to be available at a moment’s notice or at odd hours.
On the other hand, Patrice had already progressed a lot in her career, she was traveling the world for work, and was even able to buy a house for herself. But Patrice did feel depressed about being single at 35. Loneliness caught up to her. Stacy knew that had she not taken that break, her career would have taken off too. The grass is always greener on the other side. It is important to remember no one has it all and that we do the best with what we have at any given moment. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
6. Living alone in your 30s is a blessing
A lot of people fear the prospect of living alone. But let me assure you, living alone can be a real boon. You are not answerable to anyone, what time you come home, if you are eating cake and ice cream for dinner, whether or not you have done the laundry, what you wear at home, what you don’t, what music you listen to, etc. Being single has its benefits.
Feeling alone in 30s has nothing to do with who lives with you. You can feel lonely in a crowd too. But living alone does make you comfortable in your own company. And when you reach that level of comfort, you will not settle for any relationship that doesn’t offer you the same joy.
7. You make smarter decisions when you’re dating in your 30s
Best part of dating in 30s is you are not making all those reckless decisions that your 20s seemed to be littered with. Even if you are not aware of what you want out of a relationship, you are most certainly aware of what you don’t want in a relationship.
No more falling for sweet talk or amazing looks. You are aware there are more important things than that. And when something good comes your way, you have the wisdom to hold on and try to make it work.
8. Your confidence is at an all-time high
Welcome to the age where you don’t give two hoots about what other people think. You have now reached a time in your life where you are aware of who you are and have found more comfort with your best and worst aspects. You have spent quite a few years figuring yourself out and know what works for you and what doesn’t.
This kind of self-awareness also brings the realization that no one will know you the way you know yourself. You now understand that a person’s perception of you is tainted by how they see themselves. You understand more and more of where people are coming from and their opinions bother you far less. You know at the end of the day, it is just you who has to deal with life when it hits you.
Related Reading: Will I Ever Find Love? 10 Reasons To Be Optimistic
9. You’re working on your issues
With self-awareness comes the knowledge of your flaws too. While there are things that you can’t change about yourself entirely, there are also things that can be worked upon. You see the repeated patterns you face in life, you understand the cause of those patterns, and you work on yourself to break the cycle.
The 20s are about self-discovery, the 30s are about new beginnings. You build yourself and work toward making a version of yourself that you are proud of. You know more and more about how to cope with being single in your 30s.
10. You are closer to your friends and family
Life takes a major shift when you are in your 30s. You are no more the hormone-fueled rebel who knows better than everyone else. You might also start getting bored of the night life. For you, it’s become more about spending quality time with people you love rather than spending mindless hours in a club.
This shift in life brings you closer to your loved ones. You understand the struggles of your parents better. You understand why your friends behave the way they do. Your life experience has taught you things from other people’s point of view and it is this understanding that brings you closer to them.
11. You can adopt a pet or keep plants
It is normal to want a little companionship in this phase as one might often find themselves feeling alone in 30s. And there is one beautiful answer if you are wondering how to cope with being single in your 30s, that is, adopt a pet. Pets are great companions; some animals are also able to sense when their human is in distress and show them care and affection. Ask any pet owner and they will tell you that their pets are better than most human beings.
If keeping a pet is too cumbersome, you can even have plants. Taking care of plants and watching them thrive under your care gives you a sense of achievement. And of course, it is good for the environment too.
- Being single in your 30s may feel scary, but there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s becoming increasingly common
- There is a lot pressure from the society, especially on women, to find a partner
- Focusing on being a better version of yourself will help you cope with being single in your 30s
There is no denying that being single in your 30s can be a bit intimidating. Especially if you had plans of getting married way before, or if you came out of a long-term relationship recently. The unpredictability of the future can be nerve wrecking.
But there is one thing that is worse than being single in your 30s. And that is being in a relationship when you were not ready for it. The only time you should ever enter a relationship with someone is because you want to, not because it is expected of you, or because of a biological clock, or because you felt lonely.