“That’s great, I’m so happy for you!” said Jade, without a hint of jealousy, to her friend who had just told her she was getting married. At 36, this was the third friend who told her about her wedding plans just this year. Despite the many weddings to attend, Jade didn’t have any desire or plans to get hitched soon. She wouldn’t seem to mind being single forever, much to the confusion of all her fellow bridesmaids.
Having no desire to be in a relationship has been on the rise in the recent past. According to Pew Research, about 31% of Americans are reportedly single, while half of them are happy with being single forever.
Being single usually comes attached with truckloads of stigma, taunts, and jibes, but what if the whole shebang of “settling down” with someone just isn’t for you? Let’s take a look at some signs you’ll be single forever, and why that’s no reason to sound the alarm.
17 Telling Signs You Will Be Single Forever
First things first, just because you’ve had a few bad dates or have been unlucky in the dating sphere doesn’t mean you’ll be eternally single. As long as you’re thinking “I don’t want to be single forever,” there’s a chance that any misfortune you’re going through will settle and the issues you have in the relationship sphere will be resolved if you want to fix them. (Psst, therapy helps).
So, instead of focusing on the whole “I think I will be single forever because I’m too picky” trope, (we promise your absolute “no-no’s” will eventually turn into “meh’s”), we’re going to focus on the more compelling (read: positive) reasons why you might end up being single for life. PS: Even if you do end up with the singles lifestyle despite wanting a relationship, it’s not as bad as people make it out to be (more on that later!).
1. You are happy with the place your life is in
“Don’t you feel like life’s slipping away? Like you’re out of time?” asked Racquel, a fellow bridesmaid who was jealous of Jade’s indifferent take on marriage. “I know right? I need that Finland promotion at all costs,” replied Jade.
If you’re way too focused on your career, your own company, or even your mental health, sometimes, relationships can take the back seat. In totality, if you’re satisfied with the place your life is in and you see a clear path carved out for yourself that you’re invested in pursuing, the thought of living single forever might not even be a cause for concern for you.
2. You are aromantic (or asexual)
We know, we know, being aromantic or asexual doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t be in a happy and healthy relationship. However, it does make things a bit complicated when you don’t feel any romantic feelings toward someone, or when you have zero interest in sex, doesn’t it?
You may enjoy a plethora of fruitful friendships, platonic love, and even other forms of relationships, but perhaps a serious relationship or a committed relationship, in the traditional sense, won’t ever entice you enough.
Related Reading: 8 Myths About Asexuals (ASE)
3. You’ve got a support system you’re happy with
Not everyone ends up with 1.2 best friends, whom they meet thrice a year to catch up on important life events. Some people find the perfect partner in a friend(s), find true love in the support system they develop with their gang, and don’t feel the need for a long-term relationship.
Besides, according to The Guardian, you lose an average of two close friends every time you enter a relationship. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar and just don’t want to lose the ones who mean the most to you.
4. Your lifestyle isn’t the most relationship-friendly
Jade travels the world. She works non-stop, and she’s always partying with her clients (she’s a music manager, and a lot of touring involves a lot of partying). She’s never at home, and frankly, she likes it that way. Not the best environment for a relationship, is it? Similarly, if you think your life isn’t exactly tailored for romantic relationships, living single forever won’t bug you one bit.
5. You hate the dating game so much that you don’t mind being eternally single
You match, you exchange small talk, you meet, you exchange niceties, only to find out that you the person you’re meeting aren’t all they claimed to be. Or, they just want something way too different than you do. Or, they’re just not a very nice person. You get the gist. We’ve all been there, one bad date after another tends to get the better of the best of us. After a point, if the dating game has left you with no desire to be in a relationship, nobody can really blame you.
Related Reading: 7 Reasons Why Modern Dating Sucks And How To Cope
6. No one quite cuts it
You might not even have ultra-specific demands and you might not even be expecting too much, but it’s still all too common to just not hit it off with someone. You just don’t find that person who really gets you, and even when you think you do, somehow, it just fades.
In the midst of all this, there comes a point where the fear of being single forever eventually subsides, and you realize that you’re quite content with how everything’s going on around you. Especially if the people who do “cut it” are already around you in the shape of your wonderful support system.
7. You enjoy your alone time a bit too much
“I didn’t just get up and decide one day that I want to be single forever, you know,” Jade told Racquel, “I tried, but every time I’d be out on tour with the band, I’d end up enjoying that time far, far more than I ever did with my partner. Even when we were together, I’d always need too much personal space to ever harbor healthy relationships.”
To Jade, “single forever” doesn’t seem like a death sentence, instead, it seems like something that allows her to spend all the time in the world on herself, and cultivate her life the way it’s going. If you’re not too far off, living single forever won’t sound like a death sentence to you either. You might just end up living happily, having the time of your life with yourself, a nice dessert, and Netflix tailor-made to your viewing choices.
Related Reading: 14 Types Of Guys Who Stay Single And Why They Do
8. You just don’t want to be in a relationship
All of those sappy rom-com movies don’t get to you. All those PDA couples on the train don’t make you jealous in the least. You’re genuinely happy for all your friends who are getting hitched, and you’ve never really wanted something similar for yourself. You’re thriving, living a carefree life, and avoiding all the drama that comes with relationships, and you’re loving it.
Perhaps you’re staying single forever after a divorce, or you just want to stay single forever. Be it for whatever reason, if you end up saying things like, “I think I will be single forever, and thank god for that!”, you probably just don’t want a long-term commitment. Which, as you probably can see by now, is totally fine.
9. You enjoy doing your own thing
The “single forever” lifestyle is increasingly appealing to people because it allows them to fully embrace their independence. You make decisions about your life without considering another person’s feelings, which honestly, is quite a luxury in itself.
This brings with it a sense of fulfillment and the ability to live your life on your terms. The right person may not be found in someone else but rather within yourself, and you discover that the key to happiness lies in your own company and being self-sufficient.
10. You LOVE the perks of being single
Let’s be honest, dating is expensive. It’s a lot of drama. It has ups and downs, problems galore, ugly fights, is time-consuming, the whole nine yards. When you’re staying single forever, you know you’re responsible for your happiness and that nothing’s getting in the way of your peace.
When it comes down to being single vs being in a relationship, most would agree that the former is a lot more peaceful. Just as Jade would say, “A nice night in with my takeout, my movies, my pets, and my peace… The benefits of being single sure do sound too good to be true.”
11. You don’t want to give up on your social life
You don’t have to be partying every night or spending every waking minute with your close friends to have a social life you don’t want to give up on. If you’ve got a circle of like-minded people, enjoy how you all spend your time together, and don’t want it to end, it’s reason enough to not want to ruin any of that with a relationship. Pretty soon, the whole “Will I be single forever?” trope won’t scare you all that much.
12. Your goals make it okay for you to be single forever
Perhaps what you’re looking for is something purely sexual and have never been interested in long-term romantic relationships. Maybe it’s the thrill of something casual that your heart desires, helps you with your self-worth and you just have no interest in trying to find love.
It’s totally fine to only want short-term situationships or casual relationships, instead of letting your “I’m 37, I might be single forever!” fears rule your life. Live it up on those dating apps, nobody’s asking you to get hitched on a dating app (except Ted Mosby, maybe).
Related Reading: How To Cope With Being Single In Your 30s – 11 Tips
13. You love being super busy
If you’re the kind who loves to parade around the office acting busy at 4 pm, telling everyone that you haven’t had time to have lunch yet while making a big deal about every new task (or meeting, or conversation) that comes your way, we’d say you qualify as someone who likes being busy.
Jokes apart, if you’re content with your busy schedule (whatever it may be busy with) and find a sense of purpose in it, there may not be any point in trying to find the purpose of life in another person. Who knew being single forever might just turn you into a business tycoon!
14. You don’t want to share your life with someone else
When it comes down to it, you learn how to share your life, your space, your time – and everything in the middle – with another person. That’s not as simple as it sounds, and major compatibility issues tend to arise more often than not. When you like to spend your free time with yourself (or even just do everything on your terms) and don’t want to worry about the feelings and needs of your partner, being single for life doesn’t sound like a bad deal.
Related Reading: 13 Beautiful Ways To Date Yourself
15. You couldn’t care less if a date goes wrong
Perhaps you haven’t figured out that you don’t mind being sans partner, and thoughts like “Will I be single forever?” or “What if I end up alone?” bother you at night, but, on the other hand, you really couldn’t care less if a first date goes wrong.
Perhaps you show zero initiative with potential dates, or you’re just incredibly indifferent (even if they go well) and somehow end up never following through. Maybe you need to take this indifference as a sign you need to be single (even if it’s for a little while) and replace thoughts like, “How to not be depressed about being single” with “How to get someone to leave you alone forever”.
16. You feel tied up in a relationship
You’ve seen all the married people struggle to keep their marriage afloat (and also tell you to never get married), you’ve tried your hand at relationships that didn’t end up well (leaving you only with trust issues), and perhaps you’ve decided that a relationship just isn’t worth the trouble.
It’s common to feel bogged down when relationships don’t pan out the way you had hoped or if you’ve been surrounded by examples of less-than-fulfilling romantic partnerships, but how much it affects a person depends on each individual. If you’re the kind who just cannot sacrifice their autonomy even a tad bit, the whole “I don’t want to be single forever” line of thought will end up fading away soon.
17. You don’t mind the “single forever” tag because you like your routine
It’s okay to not fall in love with a person if you’re already head over heels for your routine you’ve got going down for yourself. No, it doesn’t have to be as precise and psychopathic as Christian Bale in American Psycho, as long as you’ve got a set lifestyle you love adhering to, the fear of being single forever doesn’t control your entire being.
7 Reasons Why Staying Single Might Be Right For You
The 21st century has seen the rise of various kinds of dating scenes. Ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, “situationships”, the list goes on. We’ve got different dating apps for every kind of relationship, and amid varied forms of practicing love, people who prefer being alone are on the rise as well and are living happily while at it.
For starters, studies claim that more people are choosing to remain single and not marry, and an increasing number of people are witnessing the perks of being single. Hence, there’s no reason why it can’t be the right choice for you. Here are a few reasons that might help you see that the “single forever” life isn’t as bad as it sounds:
1. Being single gets better with age
Are you struggling with thoughts like, “Will I be single forever?” or “I’m going to end up living alone forever,” or “My trust issues will never let me find anyone”? Well, this too shall pass. Don’t take our word for it, studies suggest that single people reported having a satisfying life consistently as they grew older but people with romantic partners were not very convinced with their quality of life.
Related Reading: 40 And Single: Redefining My Idea Of Partnership
2. You start feeling less lonely
Interestingly enough, the same study suggests that people who stayed single reported being rather unaffected by loneliness. On the other hand, people in a marriage or a relationship often feared being lonely. Over time, the feeling of being romantically lonely fades, and you start to become a more independent person who’s rather unaffected by thoughts like, “Am I going to be alone forever?”
3. That summer bod’ becomes a reality
According to studies, divorced people end up exercising more than married people, and the people who have always been single get the most exercise. If you’re staying single forever after divorce, you can find solace in the fact that your body will thank you for it. It’s time to hit the beach, your Instagram is about to get lit up with some smoking pictures of you. Forget all about that low self-confidence, we’d say.
4. You get a booming social life
Who said romantic relationships are supposed to be at the helm when it comes to any form of connection with people? Who was there for you the last time you went through a tough breakup? Was it another romantic partner, or that best friend whom you avoided for so long during the relationship?
Studies suggest that single people have more time to be attentive to friends and family, in turn leading to more satisfactory social lives. Other studies suggest that single people often have a more diverse range of people they consider close friends. In turn, it’s the social life and the support system that makes people not too opposed to the idea of wanting to stay single forever.
5. The corporate race becomes a cakewalk
According to an article in Psychology Today, single people value meaningful work more than coupled-up folks. That can be attributed to a multitude of reasons, like having more time to invest in your career, being clear-headed as compared to people going through relationship troubles, and not having your career options affected by the needs and wants of a partner. The benefits of being single might just include that swanky corner office you have your heart set on.
6. It teaches you to be self-sufficient
The same article also claims that people who have been single forever have strong psychological resources that allow them to be more independent, resourceful, and self-sufficient. While it’s nice having someone to be a shoulder to cry on, isn’t it so much better when you have confidence in yourself enough to believe that you can get yourself out of any situation?
As a result of those psychological resources, your social interactions will improve, you won’t irrationally fear rejection, and you’ll be okay with living life with just you. Who needs anyone else?
7. Single people are more fulfilled
Studies suggest that many single people, as compared to their married counterparts, fare better on several well-being measures. As we’ve already established, single people often rank higher when it comes to self-sufficiency, which directly correlates with better mental health. Besides, single people remain closely connected with their parents, friends, and neighbors, leading to a more fulfilled life. On the contrary, the more self-sufficient a married person is, the worse their psychological health.
How To Accept Being Single Forever
Despite everything that has been said above, it’s easy to imagine someone feeling down because of the lack of a partner. “I’m 37 and single forever.” “I have no one in my life, I don’t deserve anyone.” “Am I too difficult to be in a relationship? It must be my fault.” “I’m meant to be alone, nobody ever gets close to me.” Such self-deprecating thoughts can come a person’s way when they’ve been unsuccessful in the dating game.
In such times, learning how to accept being single, at least for a while if not forever, can help you find some peace of mind. To be happy alone and resist the feelings of loneliness, here are a few things that can help:
- Understand that being single comes with a lot of perks, like having a better social life and doing better at work
- Make a conscious effort to steer clear of negative thoughts like “I think I will be single forever, something must be wrong with me”
- Practice self-care, use the time you have to improve your physical and mental health
- Know that being single gets better with time and eventually leads to a more fulfilled life
- Understand that you don’t have to be in a relationship to feel connected to a person and that the purpose of life doesn’t only lie in a romantic relationship
- Build a strong support system around you, value your friends and the other relationships you have
- Try to not let the stigma attached to being single forever get the best of you
- Know that a person who is okay with being alone is powerful
- Signs you’ll be single forever include: having no interest in long-term romantic relationships, being content with where your life is currently, not wanting to give up your routine or social life at any costs
- The benefits of being single range from doing better at work to experiencing a more fulfilled life
- Finding peace with being single can be the start of a more joyous life for yourself
At the end of the day, it’s not uncommon to struggle with thoughts like, “Am I going to be alone forever?” However, we hope that the words penned above will help you understand that the “single forever” life isn’t a death sentence, in fact, it can be quite the contrary. We all know how wonderful half of all marriages end up being, right?
As long as being single forever isn’t negatively affecting your mental health and you’re able to embrace it wholeheartedly, it’s totally fine. In fact, being single actually leads to many perks, like having a better social life than those in relationships and being mentally and physically happier.