It’s tough being single. The dating scene is a minefield of people who don’t seem to have the same intentions as you. It’s not just women who are choosing to stay single nowadays, there are various types of guys who stay single too, though the reasons may vary.
So how many single guys are there in the world? Well, we can’t know about the world but let’s talk about the U.S. According to a study, about 3 in 10 U.S. adults (31%) say they are single – that is, not married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship. The youngest and oldest Americans are the most likely to be single – 41% of those are aged 18 to 29 and 36% of those are 65 and older, 23% of those are 30 to 49, and 28% of those 50 to 64. As per research, men were more likely than women to indicate that they were single to be able to flirt around and because they were not into family-making. Here are the three main reasons explained in the study as to why individuals are single:
- Because being single can increase fitness
- Because of the evolutionary mismatch between ancestral and modern conditions
- Because of constraints such as illness or having young children from a previous relationship
14 Types Of Guys Who Stay Single And Why They Do
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According to a study, both sexes in the single population contributed to 29% in 1990, it jumped to 39% for men and 36% for women by 2019. Besides this, close to 28% of single people between the ages of 25 to 54 are living with their parents, compared to 2% for married or partnered couples. The unpartnered population, researchers said, earns less and has less education, and unpartnered men, in particular, are less likely to be employed.
“Yes, single people are paid less, have fewer resources available to them when they need help, and are disadvantaged in other ways, too. But some of that — maybe a lot of it — is based on discrimination against single people, not on anything that is supposedly wrong with them,” said DePaulo, a research psychologist at the University of California.
Let’s take a look at 14 types of guys who stay single:
1. Why do good-looking guys stay single? They are cranky choosers
Some men have specific tastes when it comes to their dates and are willing to spend their entire lives looking for ‘the right person’– an ideal partner. They will never consent to making concessions on their preferences or goals, they hate compromise. These guys value both their personal and professional lives. They enjoy being single and have no worries about being alone.
Our friend Jonathan, 27, who has a Ph.D. from Princeton University, a nice body, a good income, and a great circle of peers, living his king-sized life with no kids, is single. When asked why, he said, “Well, I am looking for someone at my level, you know.” Because it’s so difficult to find someone this ideal, regardless of gender, ‘choosy’ guys like him will unavoidably wind up remaining single for a prolonged period.
2. The ones who try too hard often stay single
Do some guys like to stay single? Yes. But not these men. They are evidently desperate for companionship. And trust me, it is the biggest turn-off when someone tries way too hard. Being humble, honest, kind-hearted, and virtuous are a few good qualities every person should have. It does not make you an exception. These qualities are noticeable, and you don’t have to go around announcing them.
By telling the one whom you are pursuing how charitable you are or by, buying them expensive food and clothes, or putting on a facade of ‘the cool guy’ does not actually make you appealing. Your date does not want to know about your connections and how popular you were at college. They want to know who you are, right now. So, don’t try to drop names and your ‘cool’ stories from the past just to impress your date. No one likes a snob. It won’t work in the long term.
Related Reading: 15 Worrying Signs You Are Begging For Love
3. The resentful kind
This man is upset with the entire world. He believes that the world has mistreated him in particular. He notices the inequities in the world, thinks the deck is stacked against him and decides to correct it on his own. These kinds of men are:
- Defensive in nature
- Champions of the blame game
- Opportunists
- Disrespectful of anyone’s opinion over theirs
In this man’s opinion, the world revolves around wrath, not love, and that’s precisely what he spreads around him. He is sensitive, sour, and bitter. Everyone flees from him when they become weary of being held accountable for their ‘transgressions’. Because he is egotistical, uninformed, and everything else that a decent person shouldn’t be, no one wants him.
4. Some guys are meant to be single, like the man-child
Among the types of guys who stay single, the man-child is popular. His physical development is ordinary — might even be outstanding, with his hunky gym body and a great beard — but his mindset is stifled. He doesn’t care about taking on any social or personal obligations since he has no notion of responsibility and growth. He believes that the fewer adult responsibilities he has, the better.
He always acts like a child, throwing tantrums and rejecting adult behavior. We believe the reason no one wants the man-child is pretty clear: He has no place in the mature world of committed relationships. He doesn’t need a woman; he needs a mother. Hence, no woman wants him. Which woman, after all, would voluntarily decide to watch over a grown man who is only prepared to cause her stress headaches?
5. Types of guys who stay single – the dinosaurs
How many single guys are there in the world whose views are as extinct as the dinosaurs? Plenty of them actually. This guy is a perfect example of the protector and provider position society has placed him in. This cishet man has so many strict rules on gender roles and marriage that no modern woman wants to entertain. Simply put, he is fussy and too intent on dominating his partner. Nobody wants him because as soon as they date him, the women find out that he doesn’t treat them as equals.
Talking about the dinosaur guys, we cannot forget about the misogynists. These are the men who dislike women generally. Some straight guys never find love because they only find a certain kind of woman ideal, the kind that submits to them, loves to serve them, doesn’t question them, dresses the way the men deem fit, and stays with them no matter how they behave.
According to a study, women may find benevolent, sexist men attractive because such attitudes can protect them against other men’s hostile sexism. But now we see many women consciously avoid such men.
6. The ones considered less ‘manly’
Let’s talk about how patriarchy affects men. Do you know what kind of men stays single? The ones who feel uncomfortable with their appearance or believe that they look unattractive — particularly balding, tiny, dark, or frail men — the ones that do not fit the ‘standards’ set by society and believe that ladies wouldn’t want to be with them.
Also, while some guys are naturally good at flirting, it can be incredibly difficult for others. This could be the result of nervousness or introversion – natural traits that are the exact opposite of how stereotypes expects men to be. They might feel they are better off alone and wish to keep it that way. Other men might lack confidence because of low income, feminine qualities, disabilities, etc. They sometimes never leave the singleton gang because they stop trying and accept that it is impossible to be with someone romantically.
Related Reading: 10 Examples Of Traditional Gender Roles
7. Types of guys who stay single – the workaholics
This guy may have the best intentions, but all he cares about is his job. Due to his intense dedication to his career, he has also been successful in leading others to believe that he has no interest in having a relationship. But his behavior is obvious evidence of his fear.
Additionally, it’s possible that his ex-partner cheated on him so he decided to marry his job because he believed that his career would never confess its love to anyone else. Some men also overwork themselves because they don’t wish to deal with mental health issues and other problems in their lives. Such men stay single because, while, in theory, it is excellent to work hard and get money, in reality, their priorities are too self-absorbed.
8. The married-single dudes
The married man who continues to play games with other women while pretending to be single is one of the most prevalent types of men who remain ‘single’. Nobody wants a serial cheater like this because of his blatant lies and lack of decency. These are the types of guys who stay ‘single’ because they cannot stay committed to only one person. Their wives may or may not find out about their infidelity.
If you are dating a married man, it is time to stop and do what is right for you(and his family).
9. The ones who live in Wonderland
Some men frequently find themselves wandering around in their fantasy world. They rarely possess the ability to interact with reality. They aren’t prepared to work or shoulder any genuine responsibility for someone. Denial is their best friend.
Although affectionate and compassionate, they are also incredibly lazy and reckless. It almost seems they are ignorant of how the actual world works. You may sometimes think that they are trying hard to get or giving mixed signals, but that’s not the case. They are pretty content to rely on those around them. They have no qualms about using the phrase “I’m trying to figure out what I want to achieve” as a justification.
10. The in-the-closet guys unfortunately stay single
The world’s sexual minority population — an estimated 83% of those who are lesbian, gay or bisexual — keep their orientation hidden from all or most of the people in their lives, according to a new study by the Yale School of Public Health that could have major implications for global public health. There are still a myths and misconceptions associated with homosexuality because our queerphobic society hasn’t accepted it.
Many gay men are forced to pretend to be straight, but they obviously can’t hold lasting romantic connections with women. So they might prefer to remain single until (and if) they’re ready to come out. Women do approach gay men in the hopes of romance but queer men keep rejecting them, giving various excuses.
11. The ones with the God complex
Why do good-looking guys stay single forever? Some of them might just have a God complex. They think they are perfect and are the center of the world. They are so self-absorbed and self-centered that anyone who is not them is a mere peasant to them. They may seem sweet-spoken, considerate, and highly ambitious at first, but once you start to know them, you will realize it is all a façade.
They have little interest in the sentiments and opinions of other people, and the word ‘empathy‘ is not in their dictionary. They are too busy living in a bubble of denial. They believe themselves to be the finest wine on the rack, while others find them repulsive and bothersome.
12. The players
Some guys are meant to be single. Before settling down with someone, some men choose to have fun and explore their youth and sexuality with various hookups. This lifestyle can affect their idea of a serious relationship and commitment. They have little confidence in romantic relationships and believe that living a lifetime with just one person is uninteresting and a waste of time. They don’t want to miss any opportunity to living up to their player tag and have fun.
When these guys keep ‘playing’ well into their 40s and refuse to settle down with someone to spend the rest of their lives with, loneliness and unhappiness may eventually engulf them. They may unknowingly create several problems and insecurities in their lives that prevent them from moving forward. Most of the time, these guys wind up living alone.
13. Types of guys who stay single – the divorced ones or the single parents
It is very typical to see men staying single after divorce. Someone who recently went through a divorce with their partner and ended a toxic relationship may need some time to adjust before beginning something fresh. If he has children, he might prioritize them over dating anyone. If he does start dating, he will look for someone who can be a mother to his kids as well. This could be quite a painstaking process; hence, he stays single for a long time.
Related Reading: 20 Rules Of Dating A Single Dad
14. Single by choice
Are you wondering, “Do some guys like to stay single?” Yes. Falling in love doesn’t appear to be their priority. Many men who are single by choice might decline when someone expresses interest in them. People may think they belong to the forever single men troupe.
31-year-old Max is a data analyst at a finance firm and according to him, “I am single by choice. I want to focus on other things like making money and having a work-life balance. I want to give more attention to my family, friends, and myself. To my health and hobbies. I think I am not ready for a commitment yet. I might date in the future though.”
People have different dating preferences, and that’s okay. Some of the types of guys who stay single do want to be in a relationship, but they cannot find a good match. It’s hard to be single in our current society. If you’re a millennial, you’re probably more than familiar with the struggle. But why do so many men stay single? And more importantly, what does that mean in the dating pool?
Why Do Some Men Stay Single?
According to research by Menelaos Apostolou, University of Nicosia, Cyprus, “In Western societies, a substantial proportion of the adult population does not have an intimate partner. Among the most frequent reasons that men indicated for being single included poor flirting skills, low self-confidence, poor looks, shyness, low effort, and bad experience from previous relationships.” Let us take a look at these factors.
1. They judge their own personality harshly
These men feel self-conscious about specific body parts. They might not like a particular aspect of their body, such as their nose, eyes, hair, etc. They might not like how they look or act, so they think that no one else will either.
Other factors like short height, receding hairline, dark complexion, and skinny or fat body may also make men think they do not fit the masculine standards set by society. They conclude that they do not deserve love.
2. They have low self-confidence
Everyone wants a stable relationship to develop emotional ties and spend their lives with, but some people don’t think they deserve one. These individuals lack self-confidence and life satisfaction. They feel insecure in their personal or professional lives maybe because they think they earn less. These are the types of guys who stay single. They have grown to believe that because they are not intriguing enough, no one will be particularly interested in them. Such ideas might come to you if you’ve been the subject of long-term criticism.
This may lower your self-esteem and make you fearful of making decisions. Because of your low confidence, you don’t feel good enough about yourself and worry that people won’t like you.
Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem Behaviors In A Relationship
3. They are on a rule makers’ quest
Sometimes people like to set ground rules for themselves and live by them. It can be challenging to adhere to all of them in real life if you have created a rulebook for your relationship. It’s hard to develop an affinity for the future if you have established these rules based on your past experiences and are too determined to uphold them.
Having clear guidelines or conditions for a relationship might constrain your alternatives and provide you with a barrier. You need to be more adaptable and realistic if you want to discover someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life.
4. Effort? What is that?
If you are wondering why some handsome guys are single, it may be because they don’t put much effort into finding a healthy relationship or keeping the one they already have going. Their lack of initiative may prevent them from entering the dating scene. It might be challenging to get what you want if you don’t put any effort into it.
No potential partner will feel confident and secure enough with you if your demeanor is so careless.
5. They stay single because they are haunted by their past
The haunted-by-the-past guys are the types of guys who stay single for a long time. They have had an awful relationship experience. Their opinion of dating may change if they’ve ever been in an abusive or violent relationship. They could find it challenging to open up and let their guard down for someone new. Their history may affect their future views and decisions regarding romance.
They are still struggling to move on with their emotional baggage and do not want to go through the agony and betrayal by someone close to them again. Another explanation could be unrequited love. They are unprepared to move on or try something new because they are too emotionally attached to their past love.
6. Their flirting skills are atrocious
Sometimes, they want to talk to a woman but fail to do so because they are just so bad at talking, let alone flirting. They are not particularly good at chatting with women or making a good impression on them. It is challenging to flirt with and attract a woman’s attention.
Sometimes, they even fail to receive the signal from the other party and miss their shot.
7. They fear intimacy
Some people have a fear of engaging in close relationships. They flee from the ones they love the most. These individuals have some personal barriers and are not yet prepared to let someone in and be vulnerable with them. Keeping their distance lessens their short-term stress and fear.
They are hesitant to approach people and will push someone away if they do. They will become anxious if someone tries to form an intimate connection with them because of their fear of intimacy.
Key Pointers
- Good-looking guys might be single because they are cranky choosers
- Some guys are meant to be single, like the players who jump from one date to another, and the ones with a God complex
- Past experience and fear of intimacy are two of the factors behind men’s singlehood
- Being single by choice is okay; you are allowed to have a life with no romantic relationship
Now you know all the types of guys who stay single, and why. There is nothing wrong with being single for an extended period, or all your life. We just hope your single status, however long its duration, is a choice.
FAQs
Simply put, the types of guys who stay single are those who are not interested in a committed relationship. Others are single as a result of their own choices or circumstances. For instance, they may have recently ended a committed relationship or gone on multiple dates searching for a compatible partner but haven’t succeeded.
According to a study, among the most frequent reasons that men indicated for being single included not being interested in a relationship, poor flirting skills, low self-confidence, poor looks, shyness, low effort, and bad experience(s) from previous relationships.
It is totally up to a man to stay single or find a partner in the latter half of their life. There is no concrete answer to this as it may vary from person to person. Everyone’s story is unique and so are their choices and outlook toward life.
Ask Our Expert
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Here’s a few reasons I personally have:
1. I don’t need a woman
2. Relationships are too much work with very little payout
3. It’s hard to find someone honest and loving these days
4. Independence! Who doesn’t love it, some men prefer to not be nagged at
5. More time to oneself
or simply… no one acquiesces