The Pros And Cons Of Dating A Police Officer – Explained

Dating experience | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: December 22, 2023
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Dating a police officer comes off as a challenge but can be quite a thrill if you’re into it. Don’t worry, they probably won’t jump in and start policing your life and habits, like some may expect while dating a cop. But they may take your speeding in the middle of the night in a quiet neighborhood a little more seriously than a regular partner. 

People often suggest that dating a police officer can be lonely because they always have life and death problems to solve and you may come secondary to that. While a cop’s job is always risky and a little messy at times, dating them does not mean you have to suffer for it. Even though their profession comes with a lot of baggage, it does not define everything about them.

If your partner, who is a police officer, loves you and appreciates you, then there is not much that you should be worried about. At the end of the day, who they are on the inside matters much more than their profession. But there are many pros and cons of dating a cop, just like when you’re dating anybody else. So while there are struggles of dating a police officer, there are also some fantastic perks you are definitely going to want to know all about.

The Top 5 Pros Of Dating A Police Officer 

Don’t be petrified of dating a police officer because they’re the harbingers of ethics or seem like control freaks in relationships. But don’t be too enamored by their hunky and confident side either. These people are complicated but also, can be totally worth it.

The best advice when dating a law enforcement officer is to remember that you are dating a person with unique responsibilities that call for many different personality traits. Let’s delve a little deeper into this. Here are the top 5 pros of dating a cop:

1. They are natural leaders 

If you often dream of dating a police officer, this is probably why. If you think you are attracted to a cop, it may be their natural leadership quality that is visible in their everyday activities. Cops are trained to make heavy decisions, manage time, and calculate risks. For that, they need to be a cut above the rest.

They are not fickle-minded or hesitant because their line of work just does not call for that. Dating a police officer is like dating a self-assured person who can work independently without being frazzled by anything. So, being a police officer’s partner can be reassuring. No matter what life or your relationship may throw at them, they will always be up for dealing with the challenge. How hot is that?

Related Reading: 4 Zodiac Signs Who Are Born Leaders

2. You will always feel safe around them 

Probably the best thing about dating a cop, no matter how selfish it may sound, is that it will always feel like you have a safety net around you. Even noises in the kitchen at 2 a.m. will not easily alarm you when you are sleeping soundly next to your cop partner because you know they can handle it. Just like they can handle anything.

Going to bars and walking on the beach late at night may all seem like activities you can do with more ease. This is because you will always feel like you have a person who can back you up if things go wrong. If you’re a woman, you know that feeling of security does not come easy for us. But when you make a cop fall in love with you, know that safety (not just emotional safety), security, and a feeling of being grounded come as part of the package. It doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

3. What to expect when dating a police officer? Fantastic sex

Someone who is trained to be fit, not just for health but for combat, will have a lot of stamina and a generally good sex drive. Good sex can kiss your worries away, we all know that. Dating a cop means you can always enjoy some hot sex because a cop will be physically adept at it. 

Moreover, they are passionate human beings because they live so close to danger that they want to make the best of each moment. This means that the honeymoon period may never end when you are dating a police officer. Once you make a cop fall in love with you, know that they will take care of all your cravings and kinks and you will fall into bed most nights, exhausted, yet fully satisfied.

Bonus points if you are into rough sex because the sheer strength in those muscular arms can lift you up and make your kinkiest dreams come true in the blink of an eye. So, when dating a cop, expect wild, passionate sex to your heart’s content.

4. They are respected in the community 

It is a special feeling when you are able to not just love but also admire your partner for what they do. Dating a police officer means dating a person who commands society’s respect. Cops are the protectors, fighters, and sacrificers of society. They put their lives on the line every day to protect the community. Honestly, what is there to not adore about that? 

Dating a law enforcement officer is like dating a real-life superhero. You will always be able to look up to them and feel proud of what they do. And while that may mean some restless nights full of worry for their lives, being a police officer’s partner is honestly worth the anxiety.

dating a law enforcement officer
Cops are respected in society

5. They are self-sacrificing 

Cops are trained to think of others first. This translates to a cop’s personal life too since they become used to thinking of others before themselves. One good thing about dating a cop is that they will always consider your feelings and think of you first.

During intense fights or arguments, you’ll notice how even though they may be stubborn while presenting their point of view, they will do everything to hear you out as well. Not only will they listen to you, but will also ponder over what you have to say with great seriousness.

Remember to not abuse that privilege, though, because cops can spot crooked behavior from a mile away. Make sure you are developing respect in your relationship, and that you treat them well. They will take care of you and your physical and emotional needs, no matter what.

Cons Of Dating A Police Officer

As thrilling as it may sound on paper to start dating a police officer, there are also many reasons to never date a cop. Cops are not just handsome hunks or badass women who are all muscles and bravery. They are also trained to spot guilty behavior in people and to be extra sensitive to people’s needs and moods.

Dating a sensitive man or woman can be a good thing, yes. While they are definitely sensitive, sometimes their training can make them suspicious of everyone around them. They know that things can go wrong in the blink of an eye and may have trouble relaxing and not going into battle mode every time they hear a crash. This may sometimes be one of the struggles of dating a police officer.

But while the issues are many, they are not impossible for you to deal with. The decision is yours and you don’t need to necessarily make it a life rule to never date a cop. We are just here to inform you. Here are some cons that you can watch out for when getting romantically involved with a police officer. 

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1. It can be harrowing for you 

If you dream of dating a police officer, you need to understand the negatives that come with it. Being attracted to a cop may mean a life full of passion and security, no doubt about that. But it also comes with the constant worry about your partner’s well-being. From simple wounds to chasing someone to actual gunshots, cops are at risk of it all. And this may leave you wondering if it’s worth all the trouble. 

So, is dating a cop a good idea? When you are dating a cop, you have to deal with the anxiety that comes with being with someone who puts their health and safety on the line for others every day. Falling in love with them will be easy, but every day with them might not. Selflessness is the name of the game when dating a cop because your partner is duty-bound to care about others first and themselves later. So while you may be proud of their successes, you will always be too scared of their downfalls. 

2. Cops are prone to corruption 

It is hard to say this out loud but it is often true, and you may even learn of this when you start dating a law enforcement officer. Cops are prone to being corrupt because their occupation is complicated that way. There’s a lot that goes on behind closed doors that we may not know or even understand. They are constantly under pressure from political parties and big-shot criminals and have to decide what to put first: their family and their own well-being, or their duties.

Choosing duty over personal lives can put them at constant risk. Perhaps, that’s why so many cops veer toward a corrupted life. While you may not condemn them entirely, you might also not be able to overlook your partner’s red flags and their corrupt activities, especially if their actions stem from different political views.

3. They undergo a lot of trauma 

Consider this the most important ‘dating a police officer’ advice and you will thank us tremendously. One thing people often don’t talk about is the PTSD and emotional suffering that cops undergo. While we applaud their bravery, we often overlook that it comes at a heavy cost. 

Your partner may be suffering from or may develop PTSD or have panic attacks for they are always exposed to gruesome realities of the world. Don’t be too surprised if you realize you have a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend when you date a cop. There are certain realities that they cannot share with you, and they become ingrained in their everyday existence. The trauma and constant suspicion can also affect your personal life.

People wonder, “Are police officers controlling in relationships?” Unfortunately enough, the answer to that is often yes. Maybe as a trauma response, or because of their hardened job, they have an innate need to control the situation around them. This is also because of their training and the daily realization that things can go wrong in a split second if not handled carefully. This means that they may treat you with a certain distrust which can lead them to dominate the relationship. So, communication and awareness are key when dating a cop.

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4. There will always be something that you will not know 

While dating a hotshot cop makes you feel special, there is always going to be an air of mystery around your partner. So, what to expect when dating a police officer? There are times they will go off to places that they cannot tell you about, or keep town crime secrets that will always be secrets to you. 

One of the tips for dating a cop requires you to sometimes turn a blind eye to what they do, where they are going, or who they are meeting. You cannot pester them with questions because it is simply their job to not answer you. Their job is complicated and on some days, even annoying. But you just have to allow them to do it peacefully.

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5. What to expect when dating a police officer? They may not have time for a lot of emotions 

While cops seek real experiences just like everybody else, they may not have the time or even the energy for something real as that takes a lot of work. This is why the big question always remains – What does a cop look for in a relationship? 

With the everyday risks and long working hours every single day, they may just be looking for relationships that they can walk in and out of. They might just want to come home to casual sex at the end of the day. That can be one of the challenges of dating a police officer if you are searching for something serious and worthwhile.

Committing seriously adds a whole range of challenges that not every cop is ready for. That’s why you must watch out for what your partner truly expects and wants out of this. Make sure you have a candid conversation when you start going out with them.

Related Reading: 11 Signs You Are In A ‘Complicated Relationship

Our Verdict What Is It Like Dating A Cop? 

We do not think a single profession can make a person good or bad for a relationship or for dating itself. People with different professions and upbringings can actually bring a different flavor to each relationship. People are allowed to choose a profession that appeals to them and weave a dating life around it that suits them. All that we can tell you is what you should expect and be ready for. 

1. So, what is it like dating a cop?

According to us, dating a police officer has a bunch of bonuses. It means dating a resilient person who cares for the people around them and has a sharp mind. One thing that really sets them apart is that they understand human and criminal minds very well and are extremely intelligent when it comes to dealing with people. Not to mention, they are also incredibly fit and look great in their uniform. If these things matter to you and a powerful woman or an alpha male is your type, you will probably love dating a cop. 

On the other hand, while they are attractive in so many ways, they may not always make themselves available to you in the way that you want. They may love you but just cannot give you the time and energy, even if they want to. Their first love is their duty which they will not sacrifice at any cost. 

Dating a police officer is like dating a strong, resilient, and resourceful person. That’s the best way to put it in a single sentence. However, that same person may also be a mystery to you in some ways and you will have to keep it that way. So the real question now is, are you ready for that?

2. Where to find a cop date police officer dating sites

Now that you know what it is like dating a police officer, we can move on to this next part. Let us assume that all the benefits of dating a cop have got you excited and you feel all set to dive into the experience. To begin with, you will have to first find a cop.

Are you wondering where to look for an eligible cop date? Other than getting yourself in minor trouble and scouting a police precinct, there are wiser ways to look for an attractive police officer. Such as creating a profile on an online dating website meant for cops. Look no further, we bring to you the five most used and best rated cop dating sites and apps.

1. Police FlirtThe site has a pretty straightforward interface. You enter your gender, the gender of your prospective date, city, date of birth, and what you desire in your partner. You are free to patrol cop profiles thereon. Literally free
2. MilitaryCupid.comOn the very top of the 10 best military dating sites, Military Cupid has a community of over 600,000 members which means a pretty large dating pool. The site even allows one to sort potential matches by various branches of the military. The more flexibility a website provides means the more considerate it is of what a cop is looking for in a relationship
3. Law Enforcement DatingYou pay nothing to browse the profiles of your potential dates on this website. All you have to enter to create your profile is a screen name, your gender, gender you are looking for, and birth date
4. PoliceSingles.comThe website claims that it takes less than a minute to create your free profile on Police Singles. You have immediate access to their full member database of police officers, men and women. You can browse, send winks, and chat in real time
5. Date Cops“They might even bring their handcuffs if you are lucky!” Not our words, they are the website’s. Date Cops has a pretty fast and easy signup that lets you create a free profile. All that’s left between you as you are now and being a police officer girlfriend/boyfriend is to actually reach out and say, “Hi!”

Dating A Cop Things To Keep In Mind

Once you have put the question of how to find an eligible and available police officer in order, and crossed your fingers that you find love online or offline, we can move on to the most crucial part – how to date a cop. By now, you must be plenty aware that dating a cop comes with its perks and benefits, and also its issues. It is not easy being a police officer girlfriend/boyfriend.

That is why, here are a few things you should keep in mind when not just dating a police officer but also dating a cop personality or any other professional on duty.

  • Follow the law: You don’t want to be annoying or even unattractive to your new date by being on the wrong side of the law. Disrespecting the law would be disrespecting your cop partner, since this is the value a major part of their identity rests on. If you are the ‘carefree’ kind and enjoy the thrill of taking risks, well, this is what it is like dating a police officer
  • Be ready to be flexible: Life with a professional who has to make themselves available to the call of duty at any part of the day can be extremely unpredictable. Be warned, that their erratic schedules, night duties, etc. can be frustrating. Prepare yourself to handle such a life from the get-go
  • Be creative: You may have to come up with inventive ways of making up for lost time due to what we just talked about, e.g. creative date ideas such as a breakfast date. Moreover, you may have to develop your own routine and personal hobbies so that your cop partner’s busy schedule doesn’t bother you too much
  • Have clear communication about what you want: You never know what a cop is looking for in a relationship. What is the level of commitment they are looking for and ready to offer, considering they need to constantly weigh their personal life against their professional life. Have a clear conversation about where each of your stand
  • Value your health: A police officer job naturally comes with the prioritization of physical fitness. While this is a huge plus side to the job, as a partner you don’t want to feel lagging behind. Partners with similar fitness levels tend to enjoy similar leisure activities. Consider this as one of the benefits of dating a cop and give your health the attention it deserves

Key Pointers

  • A single profession can not make a person good or bad for a relationship. People with different professions and upbringings can actually bring a different flavor to each relationship
  • When dating a law enforcement officer, remember that you are dating a person with unique responsibilities that call for many different personality traits
  • Their leadership quality, their self-sacrificing nature, a sense of security, better sex life, and the respect they hold in the community are some of the benefits of dating a cop personality
  • The time constraint, the secrecy surrounding their work, their erratic schedules, the emotional trauma they go through is some of the baggage they come with. This might affect your life being a police officer girlfriend or boyfriend
  • Life with a police officer can be extremely unpredictable. You may have to come up with inventive ways of making up for lost time

Dating a cop can be a wonderfully enriching experience. But a person’s profession forms only a part of their identity. People are much more than the jobs they choose. Every individual will come with their unique set of qualities and baggage. If you and your date are a match from the get-go, if the time you spend with them feels easy and right, hold on tight to the new relationship. However, if you find it particularly difficult to adjust to the rhythm of the relationship, it is always worth waiting for the right person.


1. What is a cop looking for in a relationship?

If they want a serious relationship, they are looking for someone who loves them but also respects their routine and lifestyle. They need someone who can understand and accept them the way they are.

2. Are police officers controlling in relationships?

They absolutely can be. These people have been trained to stay alert and protect. So don’t be baffled if they’re always watching your drink at a party to make sure nobody is spiking it or if they mistake your cat running around the house as a sign of robbery. They are always on high alert and will go to any lengths to take care of you. That might surpass a healthy limit and even make them controlling in relationships.

3. How to make a cop fall in love with you?

Ask your cop date questions about their work, without intruding into the confidential zone. The curiosity about their work will make them feel appreciated. It will also help you understand the nature of their job. This will allow you to offer your understanding and support when your relationship needs it the most.

4. Is there a dating site to date cops?

Yes, there are plenty of dating sites exclusively meant for dating law enforcement agents, police officers, military professionals, and firefighters. Police Flirt,, and Law Enforcement Dating are three of the five we talk about in the article.

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