You’ve seen your man take command and be the leader in multiple situations. You know he has ambition, and the know-how to get there. He knows what he wants and always gets the job done. Things just flow so efficiently when he’s around, right? He shows all the qualities of an alpha male, but you’ve also seen him spend all his free time alone, something he genuinely enjoys doing. Could you be dating a sigma male?
Think James Bond, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk. The sigma male doesn’t need validation from anyone and he doesn’t abide by social hierarchy. Before you think you’re dating a James Bond type, you need to figure out if he actually might be one, and we’ve got you covered.
Let’s unravel every layer of mystery that surrounds the sigma male and hope to understand them better. God knows you could use that, considering how difficult it is to shop for him.
What Is The Sigma Male Personality?
‘Sigma male’ meaning, when simply put, is that they’re alpha males but somewhat introverted. He doesn’t need constant validation and does not boast about his triumphs like alphas might. While alpha males want to establish themselves as the leader of the pack, sigma males will operate much more subtly, while still being the leaders. They don’t need to boast about their capabilities like alphas. They stay quiet but make their presence felt.
A sigma male steps in, gets the job done and goes on his way, to live life his way. You won’t find him partying with his friends or drunk calling everyone on his contact list. He’d rather stay alone, introspect and get to know himself better.
Related reading: How To Deal With An Alpha Male – 8 Ways To Sail Smoothly
How Do You Know You’re Dating A Sigma Male?
It can be hard to tell if your partner has a sigma male personality. Hell, he might not even know it himself. There are still some tell-tale signs that prove that you’re one. If the following sigma male traits apply to your man, there’s a good chance you have yourself a keeper.
1. The sigma male finds solace when he’s alone
“Solace” implies that when he is with company, he goes through some form of distress, only to find peace when he’s by himself. The line ‘sigma males are loners’ might ring true for most people, especially an alpha, peering into the sigma male’s life from an outside perspective (and also being extremely confused by the sigma’s life).
One of the sigma male characteristics is that he doesn’t need an audience to feel validated when he does something charitable. He prefers to work alone, following his own set of rules. If given a choice between attending a party or staying in with you, 100% of the time he will choose the latter.
2. A sigma male is not the jealous type
Dealing with a jealous boyfriend can be hard. The insecurities they project through their jealousy can be unappealing. Thankfully, you’ve never noticed that in your man.
You haven’t seen him question your trust or be jealous about the company you hang out with. That’s because a sigma male personality has faith in his decision-making and the kind of woman he picks as a lover. He trusts her judgement and knows she’ll never betray him. Sigma males need their own space in a relationship, and they give the same space for their partner to find themselves outside of the relationship.
3. He wanted something serious from the get-go
Your partner didn’t approach you on Tinder or any other dating app, asking if you’d be “down for something casual”. Sigma males prefer stable, lasting and trustful relationships instead of hookups and told you that they’re looking for something serious.
They’re not looking for sexual flings so they can boast about it later. On the contrary, sigma males respect women and often do their best to appear as gentlemanly as possible. They value a good relationship with a strong independent female.
4. Socializing is not their forte
The sigma male, meaning someone who spends all his time alone. All that alone time results in the sigma males not having the best social skills. If you leave him with someone he doesn’t know at a party, chances are you’ll come back to him standing alone, having driven away any company.
They could use a lesson or two when it comes to rubbing elbows with anyone. The reason why they don’t abide by the social hierarchy is because they can’t make small talk at all. So if you’re taking him to meet your parents, make sure you do the talking.
Related reading: 20 Qualities To Look For In A Husband
5. Sigma males are very self-aware
A typical sigma male characteristic is that he knows himself very well. It’s hard to see how he wouldn’t, seeing how he spends most of his time by himself (a little personal space never hurt anybody). He has a set routine he likes to follow, be it for recreational activities or for his career.
Sigma males think about every possible scenario and how to deal with it. When things go wrong, you won’t find them saying “I told you so”, instead you’ll find them immediately thinking of a solution. Sigmas know what they like and what they don’t which is why they prefer to keep themselves in environments they feel comfortable in. This basically means you’re not going to find any sigmas in the club saying words like “lit” or “YOLO”.
6. He might have little regard for the laws of the land
Since he lives his life by his own rules, you might catch him disliking some of the rules society has accepted over the years. No, he’s not going to rob a bank, but you might have seen him jumping a few red lights.
It doesn’t even necessarily stem from a rebellious attitude, just a strong sense of pride. This troublemaking behavior may make sigma males attractive to females, but also prove that he often thinks he’s Mr. Know-it-All.
7. He makes his presence felt
Be it at work, or a social gathering, he doesn’t have to do much to make his presence felt. Staying true to himself, he won’t talk much or attract any attention. But people undoubtedly value his input and look for his guidance whenever required, as he’s usually a very reliable man.
One of the sigma male traits is that they’re natural leaders. They don’t need to put on a show, their leadership shines in the way they operate. They make sure everything is running at optimum capacity without ever misusing the power they have as a leader.
8. Sigma males don’t like taking orders
Be it from a superior, or just about anyone. Sigma males think they know how to go about their business best. You can say goodbye to the instructions that came with whatever it is you just bought, he’s never looking at them. Due to not liking it when they’re told what to do, sigma males would prefer being self-employed.
The ‘lone wolf’ title they’re given stems from their yearning to work alone. The need to be their own boss and having ambition is also one of the reasons why sigma males are so attractive. If this results in him not taking the trash out when you tell him to, here’s what you can do when he’s not helping with the household chores.
9. They aren’t one for speeches
Meaning, he gets straight to the point. If you’re in conversation with him, you’ll notice every word out of his mouth holds importance and meaning. He doesn’t beat around the bush and gets straight to what it is he wants to convey.
He can make communication in your relationship a little easier since they won’t drop the passive-aggressive hints others might opt for. Instead, he’ll tell you straight to your face what it is that’s bothering him. He gets the job done, with as few distractions as possible.
10. He’s hard to understand
When you were just getting to know him, it might have seemed like he wasn’t really interested in you because of the unwillingness to be open with you. Maybe you were confused about what he wants from you, but what men want from women isn’t that complicated, really. Sigma males have a shroud of mystery around them, rarely ever letting people take a glimpse at their life. It’s because of this reason that sigma males are loners too.
If you surprise him with a gift, he’ll definitely appreciate the effort but don’t expect him to jump up and down with glee. You may be wondering what’s going on in his head because the way he expresses himself is so lackluster.
Related reading: 7 types of boyfriends every girl meets at least once!
11. Everyone’s equal for a sigma male
There are no prejudices in the sigma male brain when it comes to who he’s speaking with. He doesn’t care if he’s speaking with the CEO or the intern. He’s going to be his same, non-small-talk self.
In the eyes of a sigma male, everyone is equal. While others may conform to pandering to their seniors at work, a sigma male will have zero ulterior motives while talking to someone. If ever they do talk to someone that is.
Sigma males look for females who are strong and independent, much like themselves. They’re not looking for a damsel in distress, so they can swoop in and solve all her problems. They look for a female who doesn’t need anyone to fix her problems for her and doesn’t run away from any complications.
Why are sigma males attractive can be answered by looking at the sigma male personality traits. They have a sense of responsibility instilled in them. They tend to be financially stable. They have ambition and are extremely self-aware, hence they know what it’s going to take for them to achieve their goals. He appears mysterious and confident, and for these reasons, he is extremely attractive to women
Yes, sigma males fall in love, and much like everything they do, they jump in with both feet. When they find their ideal match, someone who’s independent, strong and confident, they will make their feelings known. They don’t look for casual flings and instead look to build a strong bond.
If a sigma male opens up to you, it means he trusts you and has decided he wants you to a part of his life. In a relationship, they love intensely. But they still need their own space to breathe and grow.