What is it like dating an engineer? Reminds me of the movie Love & Engineering. Atanas, a computer engineer, tries to come up with a scientific formula for a perfect relationship. With these tips, he helps other engineers to navigate the world of love, dating and relationships.
But are engineers as lonely and shy as shown in the movie? Does inventing and structuring things come easily to them but not conversations with the opposite sex? What are the tips to remember when hacking an engineer’s heart? Let’s find out.
11 Things To Know Before Dating An Engineer
Sindhu Rajasekaran wrote in her book, So I Let It Be, “Dreams? Yours are skewed versions of your everyday reality. Of Java, Oracle and servers, greasy subway trains and skyscrapers. You do fall off the precipice sometimes, naked, and fly into three-dimensional turquoise oceans. At times you see pixels around you. Sperms. Electrons and black holes, the matrix, 0’s and 1’s, polarized light.”
Hence, dating an engineer can mean being with someone whose mind goes into myriad dimensions. What are some things you should know to keep your relationship with someone with such an eclectic mind flourishing? Let’s dig in:
1. Soft skills can be a task for them
Why are most engineers single? If we look at statistics from Boston University, only 13.8% of mechanical engineers bachelor’s degrees were awarded to females, a figure barely changed from a decade ago.
Since the boy-girl ratio is skewed, it might be difficult for an engineer guy to open up and flirt with girls because he hardly gets to interact with females in the classroom. So, having an engineer boyfriend can mean dating an introvert and giving him some time to open up. What is it like having an engineer boyfriend? He might be awkward initially and communication might not be one of his strongest suits.
2. They might find it difficult to see things in gray
If you are a humanities student, dating an engineer can challenge you in many ways. In your classroom, you might have been trained to grasp the layers and complexities of issues but engineers are more on the practical side of things. They certainly prefer clarity over ambiguity.
An engineer friend of mine was telling me, “They code robots? Well, most of them are robots. Many have difficulty expressing themselves and feeling empathy. They are just that. Logic-driven. Get used to it.” What are the benefits of dating an engineer? If you are an overthinker, your engineer partner can give realistic solutions to your problems. Your partner’s realism and rationality can perfectly balance out your romanticism. This is one of the reasons why you must date your polar opposite.
3. Used to dealing with stressful situations
What is it like dating an engineer? One surefire positive aspect of having an engineer partner is that you can count on them to not overreact, no matter how unpleasant the situation. If you fight with them, they can keep calm about it. Have you ever seen anyone preparing for an engineering exam? The hours of toiling that go into it prepare their minds for stressful situations. They construct logical, hypothetical situations in their minds. Every argument of theirs is clearly thought out with pros, cons and suitable conclusions.
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4. You might have to take the lead
Remember the movie Social Network? Remember how Harvard undergrad and computer programming genius Mark Zuckerberg alienates his girlfriend in the movie? He makes condescending remarks toward her. He is so bad at opening up that she thinks conversing with him is like using the ‘Stairmaster’.
Why are most engineers single? Maybe they also find ways to push love away without even realizing it, as Zuckerberg did. So, if you’re dating an engineer, don’t shy away from taking the lead. Flirt first. Communicate. Be romantic. You might have to set a precedent.
5. When dating an engineer, get used to acronyms
“When will we go to dinner?” EOD. “Are we going away this weekend?” TBD. “Did you happen to look at the picture I sent you?” Sry, AFK. Get used to acronyms. Lots of them ahead. How to make an engineer fall in love with you? Get with the lingo for starters, maybe. By the way, EOD stands for ‘End Of Day’. TBD stands for ‘To Be Determined’. AFK stands for ‘Away From Keyboard’. All these short forms are frequently found in chat rooms of massively multiplayer online games (MMOG). If your partner uses them as a native speaker, perhaps, it’d work well for you to dip your toes into the world of gaming.
What are the benefits of dating an engineer, you ask? Well, enriching, diverse experiences are definitely one to look forward to. For instance, you can count on an enriched vocabulary and a newfound proficiency at gaming. In fact, gaming together could be one of the at-home date night ideas for couples.
6. You may have to drag them out
What is it like dating an engineer? Work, Code, Game, Sleep, Repeat. This is the cycle you’re stepping into. One of the perks of dating an engineer is that they don’t have time for meaningless activities. But it might be a task to convince them to come out. Unless it’s sci-fi! One of the tips on dating an engineer successfully is to cultivate a love for science fiction. Go watch Godzilla, Martian, Interstellar, Transformers or Star Wars with them.
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7. An existential crisis every week
There are two types of engineers –those who are truly passionate about what they do and those who are probably living their parents’ dreams. If the person you’re with falls in the second category, dating an engineer could mean dealing with frequent existential crises. What is one of the tips on dating an engineer? Don’t panic when they say, “I could literally be happier if I were an artist” or “What am I even doing in this field?” You got to find ways to be patient in a relationship.
8. They don’t mind low-key
Dating an engineer is not that difficult. You can literally make them happy with pizza and beer. Whether dates or clothes, they are content with being low-key. Jeans and t-shirts or cargo shorts and neutrals, their aesthetic is effortless. What is it like dating an engineer? Low key effort but high key commitment. One, they are so good at committing to projects that commitment comes naturally to them. Two, they are always swamped so they may not have the time or mind space to explore other options.
9. It’s cute to have a nerd in your life
If you are dating an engineer, you are dating a really smart person. From sarcastic comebacks, witty one-liners or a dry sense of humor, you are in for a lot of fun. They can talk to you about ninjas or pirates or zombies. One of the perks of dating an engineer is that you might actually develop a taste for all the nerdy stuff. Did your last fight with them cause ‘friction’? Okay sorry, last one. Do you feel a ‘gravitational’ pull toward them?
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10. Their curiosity makes them keepers
If you’re dating an engineer, be prepared to be with someone who asks questions about everything. This childlike curiosity is what makes them rare. As we grow up, we stop questioning things and start taking them at the face value. Dating an engineer is bound to change that and bring back that innocent inquisitiveness in you as well, allowing you to evolve your perspective on even the most mundane things you’ve gotten used to taking for granted. This is one of the signs of a positive relationship.
11. Technology comes easily to them
My engineer friend introduced me to the crack version of Spotify long before Spotify was even a thing! So when dating an engineer, you always have a person to go to when you have trouble deciding which phone, laptop or TV to buy. They introduce you to features you didn’t even know existed. The whole experience of using gadgets becomes 100x better when dating an engineer. And after using their noise-canceling headphones, you experience unprecedented bliss.
Finally, let’s remember that this list does not apply to every single engineer on the planet and exceptions might exist. Also, it’s not meant to stereotype and generalize. These are just tips that might or might not help you. Apply them and find out. Good luck with your engineer crush…
No, dating an engineer is not that difficult if they realize that humans are not a code that can be cracked. It can be a cakewalk if they try to stay in touch with their emotions.
Based on research by Bloomberg Business, female civil engineers are most likely to marry hairdressers, hairstylists, and cosmetologists. Male civil engineers are most likely to marry elementary- and middle-school teachers. However, there is no hard and fast rule.
Make an engineer fall in love with you. Balance his logic and rationality with your empathy, compassion, expression and communication.