Should couples have goals? This has been a question that has been on my mind. Caught up in the social media frenzy, new hashtags come to light every day. One in particular that has become one of the most sought-after hashtags of our time is hashtag #couplegoals. When I first noticed it flooding my social media feeds I thought of it as part of celebrity PR tricks that only featured on-screen couples posing perfectly for the paparazzi. But in the last couple of years it has created a huge uproar in our society of ‘normal’ couples. We see many appearing as the ‘perfect couple’ on our social media accounts and give us – the not-so-perfect couples – a benchmark to strive upon.
First of all, the idea of looking up to a couple as perfect is as flawed as considering any individual to be a perfect human being. And second of all, couple goals should be about being genuinely happy and content in a relationship rather than trying to be a picture perfect duo for the world. We don’t have the faintest idea of what those couples with the perfect hashtag #couplegoals are going through in real life; hence trying to meet their goals can’t help building our own relationship which comes with its own set of complications.
What Are Couple Goals?
I’m all for accomplishing great things as a couple and enjoying every phase of life together. It’s okay to ogle at pictures of models and sometimes real couples sharing envy-worthy pictures of them cooking together, travelling the world together, looking mushy in love in picturesque resorts etc. But when we make those hashtag #couplegoals as the definition of what our partners ‘should’ be doing in the relationship, then we start getting it all wrong.
For one, most of those endorsed couple goals are done by models aka fake couples and two, even in case of real couples the pictures are just a handful of frames from their life. Nobody takes pictures of the real hardships.
Should Couples Have Goals?
Yes this should. But having real, achievable, inspiring couple goals in life help couples grow happier, healthier and livelier together. The idea of having goals as a couple is not a bad idea. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Having definite goals work as a reminder for what you want to achieve as a couple and it helps a great deal to build a solid life with each other.
How to set goals as a couple? As an individual you might have had that goal of getting a certain marks in your board exams, getting a certain pay pack in your first job then your gal could have been to buy a house by the age of 28. In the same way couples can set goals for themselves. This could be about how they want their relationship to shape up, the things they would want to do together, the things they would want to achieve. The long-term relationship goals could be both emotional and materialistic.
1. Being each other’s best friend and not just romantic partner
This is one of the biggest hashtag #couplegoals you can find flooding all over social media and is actually the most essential of all. You should most definitely share your life with a best friend that you are sexually attracted to. The one who doesn’t make you feel insecure, the one you can count on at every wrong turn, the one who doesn’t judge you, and the one with whom you can do just nothing and still enjoy the silence.
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2. Be brutally honest with each other
Is there any better kind of a relationship than the one where you can be 100% honest with each other? Where you can tell your significant other when they are acting like a moron and then tell them to get it over with. The goal is to find that one person with whom you can be completely honest even about the most painful truths.
You should be able to accept each other with warts, farts and all.
3. Being each other’s biggest source of motivation
The most precious of all couple goals is to be with someone who motivates you no matter what. When you settle for the stars, your partner pushes you, even when they have to come a little harsh, to shoot for the moon instead.
Should couples have goals? Yes, their goals should be to be the wind beneath each other’s wings. They should motivate and inspire each other to reach for the stars.
4. Unconditional trust for each other
Our lives will never be absolutely perfect. But being in a relationship with unwavering trust for each other makes the mortal bonding the most valued and fulfilling of all.
Trust is the most important basis of a relationship and couples who set long-term goals ensure that they nurture trust throughout their relationship and never let any kind of doubts or insecurity creep in.
5. Sacrificing certain things for each other when it’s needed
If we are not ready to give up certain things for the significant other when situations demand then the relationship is hardly going to be a healthy one. It could be giving up on your girls’ night out to watch your man play or taking up freelance work after the birth of your child to be the stay-at-home dad.
6. Have realistic financial goals
This is a very important aspect of couple goals because how you want to look at your finances in future depends on how you share expenses in a relationship, how you split the bills and plan on investments and property buying. Sensible couples have the goal of growing rich together.
In the world outside of social media real couples need to have real couple goals to build their own little world which gives them a sense of security, peace, happiness and an abundance of strength, regardless of what challenges life may bring to their platter. Don’t try to be like Aseem and Seema, Nira and Raju, Patrick and Rosy, Tina and Rajeev. They are not living your life. When you are asked should couples have goals, you should agree that they should have. Because you have. But you have set your own couple goals you do not emulate anyone. That’s how you make it work better.