So, here’s how it goes. You are in a content and steady relationship, imagining your beautiful, bright and rosy future with your partner. Then one day, you wake up from a rather realistic dream in which your partner is cheating on you or you have a dream about cheating on him. Whoa! Freaky, right? Especially since it is common knowledge that dreams always have an underlying meaning.
However, having a dream about a boyfriend cheating or dreams about cheating on a partner, can have different meanings for different people and relationships. Before you sink into a frenzy of guilt or feel completely overwhelmed by the same, it is important to understand what it means to dream of your partner cheating, or having dreams about cheating on your own.
With psychologist Jayant Sundaresan by our side, this is going to become a whole lot easier today. Let’s now take a good look at all the possible reasons behind such dreams, if they’re a cause for concern, and how one can effectively deal with the same.
What Does It Mean To Have Dreams Of Cheating?
For those in a committed and serious relationship, the mere idea of cheating or being cheated on can be quite unsettling. However, it is extremely common to have recurring dreams about cheating or to have a dream about a boyfriend cheating on you. It does not necessarily mean that there is trouble in paradise. You don’t have to run and confess things to your partner either.
Before you give in to the guilt or become anxious about the state of your relationship, let’s understand what your dream is trying to tell you:
1. Feeling guilty
Dreams about cheating on your partner can be a sign of feeling guilty about some actions in real life. It could be your busy schedule that is coming in the way of your romantic life or simply the fact that you are not feeling a connection with your partner lately.
Is this a feeling you relate to? Then your dreams about cheating are simply your subconscious giving you a wake-up call to pay more attention to your relationship or to talk to your partner about their lack of devotion. Clearly, you’re very, very distracted in your relationship at the moment, and are feeling terrible about it at an unconscious level. You may not feel the guilt constantly, but it is definitely there.
As Jayant puts it, ” The unconscious is the largest part of the mind and Id, which is one’s pleasure principle is completely immersed in it. Our dreams are usually associated with the Id. That portion of the mind is living out the Id dream, completing the fulfillment it wants. Unconscious desires, through its terms, are all dealt with by the Id, which is at play during dreams. Dreams are the expression of what is going on in the mind, unconsciously.”
2. Past traumas
Maybe you were unfaithful in past relationships or maybe you have been the victim of infidelity. Both scenarios can result in dreams about cheating. When you dream about your partner cheating, you might be associating past experiences with your current relationship. Infidelity can be extremely traumatic and the healing process is a long and arduous journey for most people.
Dreams about your partner cheating can be the resurfacing of past trauma. In such a scenario, having a conversation with your significant other can help you resolve the situation. The best step would be to talk to an expert who can help you make peace with your past.
It is also possible that your past traumas are causing you to dream about reconnecting with your ex. Now, now, now, wait a minute…hold your horses! That doesn’t mean that you miss them or want to trudge back to them. Jayant tells us, “Many times old relationships don’t end amicably. There’s aggression, shouting and a lack of closure, because one person may have wanted to end the relationship and the other didn’t. A dream about your ex might actually indicate that you are moving toward closure and grieving. It does not necessarily mean that you are missing them and want to be with them.”
3. Lack of chemistry
Dreams about cheating are often associated with a lack of chemistry in real life. What a dream in such a scenario can mean is that you are not feeling the kind of passion toward your partner as you used to. It is not necessarily associated with physical passion. Lack of emotional connection can also contribute to dreams about cheating.
Jayant suggests, “If you are not getting the sexual satisfaction that you need in a relationship, you could be having dreams about other people. Clearly, the Id is playing havoc again and trying to provide for your unfulfilled needs. Moreover, even when the emotional connection is missing, you may experience dreams about cheating on your partner. Do you often ask yourself, ‘Is this my soulmate?’ or ‘Do I really want to invest in them?’ or perhaps even, ‘Do I have a crush on someone else?’ If you are, then it’s no shocker that you are dreaming of someone else.”
If you are not feeling emotionally secure in a relationship, the stress can take a toll on your subconscious, resulting in you imagining scenarios where you are with a more passionate individual.
Related Reading: Sexless Marriages: Is A Sexless Marriage Grounds for Divorce?
4. Feeling of insecurity
When you dream about your partner cheating, don’t wake up and give them an earful. Rather, try to understand why your unconscious is making you imagine scenarios in which your otherwise devoted partner is resorting to infidelity. The most common reason is a feeling of insecurity.
Lisa, a happily married 30-year-old ,started having dreams about her partner cheating when she was pregnant. “I keep having dreams where my husband is cheating on me with a younger woman.” The reason for her dilemma was hidden in her insecurity, Due to her pregnancy, she was feeling insecure about her physical appearance. Most men and women have dreams about cheating or being cheated on when they are not happy within.
5. Stimuli Misinterpretation
Sometimes, we give more importance to a dream than is required. Our subconscious and unconscious are constantly absorbing stimuli and when we are asleep, they take elements from our day and play them like a film in the form of a dream. So if you saw a movie where the main theme was infidelity or had a conversation about cheating during your day, you could end up having dreams about cheating while you sleep.
When you dream about your partner cheating, it is sometimes your subconscious surfacing emotions of jealousy that you might have experienced during the day. As Jayant points out, “Your dream content is typically what you are dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Dreams typically don’t always represent what they show. There’s a large degree of symbolism to them. The fundamental thing is that there is still a background issue, which is an issue in your relationship.
What Does It Mean To Dream Of Your Partner Cheating?
Dreams about cheating are unsettling, but dreaming about your partner cheating can be a nerve-wracking and confidence-shattering experience. Dreams about boyfriend cheating are a common occurrence for women who find themselves in emotionally unstable relationships.
If you constantly find yourself having dreams about a boyfriend cheating or a girlfriend cheating on you, it can have different interpretations when compared to your dreams about cheating on your partner.
1. Lack of communication
When you dream about your partner cheating, it can be a direct sign of a lack of communication in your relationship. Often in relationships, partners do not communicate enough, which leads to unresolved issues in the minds of the people involved. Have you been feeling a lack of communication in your relationship lately?
Have their actions demonstrated that you cannot convey your concerns or communicate your feelings to them? If this is the case then having a dream about being cheated on is simply your inner self trying to tell you that you need to rebuild a healthy communication pattern in your relationship.
Related Reading: How To Fix Lack Of Communication In A Relationship – 15 Expert Tips
2. You suspect your partner
Your dream about your partner cheating aside, have you been suspecting that they are being unfaithful toward you in real life? If the answer is yes, then there is a simple explanation for your dreams. A few years ago, a friend started suspecting that she was being cheated on and thus had recurring dreams about her boyfriend cheating. It was only when her suspicions turned out to be false that she stopped having dreams about her spouse cheating. So, if this is the scenario for you too, find a way to resolve your doubts.
Jayant backs this up for us. He says, “It’s simple. Either there are signs that are making you suspect your partner or you are insecure that they will leave you. Either something fishy is going on and you are preoccupied with it in your mind and you know you can’t trust what you see — that could certainly manifest in a dream — or else, it could be coming from your own insecurity. The context makes all the difference.”
3. Feelings of betrayal in other aspects of life
Dreams about your partner cheating can be associated with feelings of non-sexual betrayal in real life. Your dreams are not necessarily associated with the relationship, rather are a reaction to a betrayal in some other aspect of your life. You have a life outside of your relationship and the impact of your personal life can sometimes creep into your relationship.
“I keep having dreams that my girlfriend is cheating on me after I found out that my business partner had betrayed me out of our business,” said John. His feeling of betrayal in real life led to him having a dream about cheating in which his girlfriend was betraying him. In an instance like this, it is important to communicate your feelings to your partner, seek the help of an expert and overcome the trauma gradually.
Are Cheating Dreams Cause For Concern?
Once or twice, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. But if it happens all the time, then perhaps this is something you should pay greater attention to. Yes, the frequency makes the real difference here.
Jayant suggests, “It is only a cause of concern if it is recurring and repeating itself. Plus, if you find yourself wanting the dream sequence to play out while your are awake, it means that you want to make it happen in your life. If you want to translate that dream into action, then it is something to worry about. “
“Think about it, where is this coming from? You might be feeling jealous and having trust issues, but you might be feeling guilty as well. Humans feel multiple emotions at the same time. A dream state tries to reflect that. Even if the dream is sexual in nature, the issue is not necessarily sexual. It can be trust-related. If that is the case, then the concern is very much real”, he adds.
How Should You Deal With Dreams About Cheating?
If you are serious about dealing with these troublesome dreams of cheating on your partner and really want to save your relationship, here’s how it goes, straight from our expert Jayant. This is what you need to do:
“You need to capture the information from the dream. Write it as soon as you wake up and not after 15 mins since it slips away. You need to sacredly protect that. Don’t tell anyone about these dreams as they won’t understand. Others will use logic which won’t help you as these dreams are bizarre. Realize that your unconscious is trying to convey something to you.”
Once you have analyzed the dream and understood where it may be coming from, here’s what you need to do to do away with it.
Jayant says, “We have to work on building the present relationship. Find ways to spend more quality time with your current partner. Don’t share your dreams with them. Instead, find out what exactly is missing from your relationship and work on it together. Start looking inwards. Communication, trust, and respect are key to rebuilding a relationship. Most importantly, learn how to ask for what you want from love. Try new things with them or else the relationship will go stale. “
Dreams about cheating are not necessarily bad nor are they a sign that your relationship is over. When you have been with the same person for a very long time, imagining yourself in scenarios that are sexually exciting is a very common occurrence. However, if it is happening on a recurring basis, pause and ask yourself, “What does it mean to dream of your partner cheating?” Identify the gap in your relationship and try to resolve it. If the relationship has come to a dead-end, then walk away from it for the happiness of both the parties involved.
Yes. It is completely normal and healthy to have dreams about cheating. It does not mean that you want to cheat on your partner in real life or that there is trouble in paradise. If your dreams are consistent, it could mean that you are having confused feelings about your relationship. If your partner is the one cheating in your dream, again, it is not a cause for concern as long as you don’t find yourself suspecting them of infidelity in real life or notice some red flags. Remaining calm and logical is very important if you want to understand why you are having such dreams.
Speaking from a spiritual perspective, dreams about cheating could be your subconscious trying to highlight an underlying concern in real life. The person who is cheating in your dreams could be undergoing a drastic change, experiencing feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, or is most likely not feeling confident about the future of the relationship. Another interpretation of having dreams about cheating from a spiritual point of view can be a lack of safety and security in a relationship.
Dreams about being with someone else can mean that you are not feeling satisfied in your current relationship. This lack of satisfaction can be both emotional and physical.