Long-term, happy relationships don’t just happen. It’s not something you can wish upon and wait for a magic wand to make it all work out. Just the way you expect your significant other to be an ideal partner, you have to know how to be a better girlfriend.
Relationships require work and consistent effort to survive and thrive. Only when both partners do their bit to strengthen their bond can they cultivate a relationship that can stand the test of time. To become a better girlfriend, you need to focus on doing your part without thinking about what you’re getting in return or out of the relationship.
Now, this doesn’t mean putting up with abusive or toxic relationships or sticking with a partner who doesn’t value what you bring to the table. As long as you have a partner who is equally invested in the partnership, giving yourself to the relationship selflessly can help you become the girlfriend of any man’s (or woman’s) dreams.
Let’s take a look at some of the top traits of a great girlfriend and how you can imbibe them in your relationship.
12 Actionable Tips On How To Be A Better Girlfriend
Ironically, love isn’t enough to make relationships last. Attraction and love can bring two people together, but it takes a lot more than being overcome with fuzzy emotions to make that togetherness last. So smothering someone with affection, cooking them their favorite meal or attending to their every need may not cut it.
To be a better girlfriend, you don’t have to change who you are but work on inculcating trust, respect and a genuine friendship in your romantic partnership. The focus has to be on strengthening your bond on a foundational level, which cannot be achieved without these key elements of a happy, healthy relationship.
Only when your bond is based on love, trust, respect and camaraderie, can you say that you’ve learned how to be a better girlfriend emotionally. Here are 12 actionable tips on how to be a better girlfriend that will steer your efforts in the right direction:
1. Be confident in your own skin
Being unsure, uncomfortable and awkward about your personality is not uncommon. After all, societal constructs place too much pressure on women to aspire to nearly unattainable standards of perfection. There is nothing more vital to the success of your relationship than your sense of self-confidence.
Am I good enough? What does my partner really think of me as a girlfriend? Is my partner too good for me? Don’t let these doubts plague your mind. At the same time, don’t lean on your partner too much for assurances and reaffirmation of your self-image.
The way you behave in a relationship is often a manifestation of your inner self. If you’re not confident about who you are, you’ll inevitably bring insecurity and unhappiness to your relationships. That’s definitely not the way to go if you want to be a better girlfriend.
Learn how to love yourself to be able to give love to your partner and be a better girlfriend emotionally.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship With Your Boyfriend
2. How to be a better girlfriend to your boyfriend? Appreciate him
It’s a mistake to think that your partner does not have vulnerabilities. Your man may put the tough guy act, but underneath that strong exterior, he may be riddled with the same apprehensions, fears, needs and relationship expectations as you.
Your appreciation can work wonders for his self-confidence, and make him feel loved and cherished in the relationship. Remember everyone likes to hear good things about themselves, their gender notwithstanding. Want to know how to be a better girlfriend to your boyfriend? Start by being more appreciative of him.
Like women, men too appreciate compliments. So, don’t hold back in telling your boyfriend about all the things that you love about him. Be it his looks, his sincerity toward the relationship, his passion and dedication toward his work, his compassion toward the less fortunate – whatever it is about him that makes your heart skip a beat qualifies as a good compliment.
However, don’t make your compliments seem forced or insincere. Say it only if you mean it.
3. By building trust you can be the best girlfriend in the world
Lack of trust in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Nothing pushes a person away more than the realization that they’re constantly being doubted. Whenever trust issues take hold, bitterness, bickering and nagging find a way in. That’s certainly not a happy situation for anyone involved.
So focus on building trust and you can be the best girlfriend in the world. When you trust your partner, you can give them space to thrive as an individual without feeling insecure. You could both spend days apart without obsessing over who your partner is talking to or hanging out with.
Such relationship dynamics are a catalyst for positivity and growth, allowing you to build a bond that will stand the test of time. The element of trust becomes all the more important when you’re trying to be a better girlfriend in a long-distance relationship.
The lack of physical proximity often makes these relationships fraught with doubt, jealousy and insecurities. When you’re already miles apart and spending a large chunk of your time pining for each other, these negative elements only eat into your bond.
If you want a long-distance relationship to work, exhibiting that you trust your partner becomes non-negotiable. There is anyway no point in fretting over who they’re with or whether they are cheating on you. You might as well learn to believe them when they say they’re not rather than making up worst-case scenarios in your head.
4. Focus on personal growth
Nothing knocks the wind out of a relationship faster than the expectation that you and your partner will always be joint at the hip. This is particularly important if you’re in a long-term relationship or a cohabitating couple.
The best way to be a good live-in girlfriend is to follow the rules of cohabitation, which includes learning to focus on your personal growth as much as you focus on your relationship. Enjoy some ‘me time’ and give your partner some personal space to do their own thing. Space in a relationship isn’t an ominous thing, provided it is handled correctly.
Perhaps, pick up a hobby that you can pursue on your own. Or make the time to hang out with your friends.
Invest in nurturing your body, mind and personality. Trust us when we tell you that no balanced, reasonable person wants to be with someone whose life begins to revolve solely around their relationship. A clingy girlfriend only makes the relationship insufferable for herself as well as her partner.
That’s why one the tips on how to be a better girlfriend that you should never forget is not lost your individuality at the altar of your relationship.
5. Listen intently to be a better girlfriend emotionally
Women know the feeling of speaking but not being heard all too well. If you’ve experienced it, then you know how bad that hurts. To be a better girlfriend emotionally, make a conscious effort to ensure that if your partner has something to share, you hear them out patiently.
Perhaps they had a bad day at work or got into an argument with a friend or sibling, and have come to you feeling awful about it. For most people, sharing such unpleasant feelings is extremely uncomfortable.
So, create an environment where your partner feels comfortable in letting their anxieties, insecurities and negative emotions bare. When you need to vent, they’ll surely return the favor.
Related Reading: 5 Tips To Introduce Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend To Your Parents
6. Encourage them to follow their dreams
How do I start being a better girlfriend? What are girlfriend duties? If you’ve pondered on these questions, you’re surely invested in your relationship and value your partner. You obviously see a lot of good qualities and potential in them.
To make sure that your partner can realize that potential to the fullest, be the girlfriend who encourages the love of her life to chase their dreams. Don’t try to clip their wings by limiting their belief with your fears and apprehensions. Don’t hold them back by placing the burden of your vision of an ideal life on them.
Instead, become a better girlfriend by being their biggest support system and cheerleader. When they find you standing by their side in a crowd of naysayers, they’ll appreciate you even more.
7. Be a better girlfriend by embracing the people in their life
Your partner had a life before you. Friends, family, sibling – their inner circle of people who they care about deeply. In order to be a better girlfriend, you must embrace these people rather than holding it against your partner for still wanting to hang out with them.
Go to that Sunday brunch with their family or that weekend getaway with their friends. A romantic partnership, particularly if you want it to turn into a long-term relationship, extends beyond the two people involved. You have to make the effort to blend in, get along and embrace your partner’s inner circle.
8. How to be a better girlfriend in a long-distance relationship? Be faithful
Well, not crossing the boundaries of faithfulness is critical for the survival of any relationship. But even more so when you and your significant other don’t live in the same city. Distance makes temptations more overpowering.
You will need to channelize every ounce of self-control to make sure you don’t end up cheating physically or emotionally.
This is hands down the most vital aspect of how to be a better girlfriend in a long-distance relationship. Being faithful isn’t just avoiding the slippery slope of sleeping around or having an affair on the side. It’s also about creating a relationship secure enough that there is no room for jealousy.
The lines between a genuine friendship and emotional cheating are often blurry. To avoid falling into that trap, steer clear of situations where things can escalate between you and a friend, even if it just means starting depend on a person other than your partner to have your emotional needs met.
Another crucial tip to be a better girlfriend in a long distance relationship is to commit to transparency. Be honest and upfront with your partner about what’s going on in your life. If there are things that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your partner, it’s a sign that you’re doing something you shouldn’t be.
Related Reading: The Kind Of Girlfriend You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
9. Don’t compete for their attention
A common mistake that a lot of women make in relationships is to compete for their partner’s attention. Competing with their friends, their family, their hobbies and even their jobs. If you want to know what are the qualities of a good girlfriend, then not being a constant attention-seeker definitely makes the cut.
Every person has different aspects of their life and a whole gamut of relationships. You cannot replace them all. Neither should you try to. Know that your place in their life is unique, and no other relationship can take away from that. Being mindful of this is especially crucial if you’re trying to be a better girlfriend when you have anxiety.
Dating or relationship anxiety can result from one’s emotional baggage and underlying insecurities. You may unwittingly start projecting these on to your relationship, trying too hard to have your partner all to yourself.
You will be able to let go of the need to compete for your partner’s attention only when you feel completely secure in your relationship. When that happens, you will also be able to encourage your partner to nurture these other aspects of his existence.
10. How to be a better girlfriend? Keep the spark alive
Yes, it is not solely upon you to achieve that. However, you should do your bit to keep the romance and spark alive in your relationship. Try something new in bed every once in a while.
Surprise them with a dinner date at their favorite restaurant. Plan an exciting weekend getaway for their birthday. Flirt with your partner. Dress up for them. Send them naughty text messages or write them cute love notes.
These seemingly small gestures can be enough to make your partner’s heart melt. By stirring in little moments of excitement into mundane everyday routines you can infuse new energy in your relationship.
Related Reading: 15 Funny Ways To Annoy Your Boyfriend
11. Be their friend
Want to be the best girlfriend in the world? The solution is simple – become their best friend. Be the person they can share their deepest, darkest thoughts with without hesitation. And also the person they want to go drinking with. Someone with whom they can take the most fun trips and talk late into the night.
Become your partner’s buddy, their confidante, their secret-keeper. Be the girlfriend your partner can talk to about that hot girl in the bar without all hell breaking loose.
However, don’t let this friendship take away from the romance and passion in your relationship. Being friends with your significant other can be a tricky balance to strike. If you can achieve that, you’ll truly be in the most satisfying, secure and happy relationship of your life.
12. Give and earn respect to be a better girlfriend
Respect in a relationship is a crucial yet often-overlooked cornerstone of a strong, enduring bond between partners. To get respect, you have to give respect. And also become a person who inspires respect in others. So, don’t be a pushover in your relationship – someone who’s ready to bend over backward to please their partner.
At the same time, don’t berate your partner or humiliate them in public or even your private space. If you disagree with something they’ve done, convey your displeasure like a mature adult. Learn to fight respectfully, no matter how daunting your differences, and then, look for a way to resolve the conflict healthily. One-upmanship and blame-game are not the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.
Now, that you know how to be a better girlfriend, make sure you’re making the effort to be better for the right person and the right reasons.
To be a better girlfriend, you have to invest yourself in the relationship without focusing on what you’re getting in return. Find ways to give love and respect, build trust and transparency, and weed out insecurities and jealousy to become a better girlfriend. For that, it is important to identify the underlying causes of insecurity and jealous tendencies.
A woman can become emotionally strong by focusing on herself. You have to be able to love yourself to give love to your partner. As they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Besides, self-love frees you from the need to seek validation from your partner or become overly emotionally dependent on them.
The dynamics of a romantic relationship remain pretty much the same, irrespective of your sexual leanings. To be a better girlfriend for your girlfriend, invest in building a relationship based on mutual respect, trust and transparency. Try to become her friend but without losing the romantic spark.