Relationships 101

15 tips to cope when your friend is dating your ex

To make the daunting experience a bit bearable.
sad lady watching her ex with friend

The experience of a breakup is usually very excruciating. On top of that, if you get to know that your friend is dating your ex when you are still in love with the ex or probably unable to move on, then you might be devastated and feel betrayed. Instead of getting depressed or lashing out in your anger, you must follow these tips, which will help you cope when your friend is dating your ex.

15 tips to cope when your friend is dating your ex

When you find out that your friend is dating your ex, then your heart might witness a storm of emotions like hurt, pain, betrayal, anger, depression, sadness, etc. But you have to deal with this storm and come out of it as a mature and better person. You need to fasten your healing from the breakup and find a way to accept and move on. Here are 15 ways in which you can do so.

1. Confront your friend

No doubt you are upset and do not feel like meeting your friend or listening to him/her. However, it is important that you give your friend a chance to explain and understand his/her point of view. So confront your friend and let him/her know about how you also feel regarding the whole situation.

2. Embrace the sadness

If you are heartbroken that your friend is dating your ex, then cry and vent out all the pent-up emotions. Give yourself the time to grieve, because this will help you deal with the emotions in an effective manner. You can actually share your feelings with the other friends and relatives who are close to you.

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3. Assess your feelings

Do not want your friend to be in your ex’s life? Do you feel jealous and extreme anger when you picture them together? If your answer to both the questions is yes, then probably you are still in love with your ex. Therefore, you have to take a step back and evaluate your feelings, so that you can take your stand accordingly.

4. Create boundaries in the friendship

Perhaps the best way to cope with such a situation is to ensure that you create essential boundaries in the friendship. Let your friend know that you are not comfortable with the idea of meeting his/her partner (your ex). Strictly tell your friend not to share details about the relationship with you, because you are least interested in it. Set these boundaries for your peace of mind.

5. Take a break from the friendship

The best way to cope when your friend is dating your ex is to take a break from the friendship. In this way, you will get the time to heal and understand the entire scenario in a better way. Do not meet with your friend, avoid picking up his/her calls and do not reply to his/her text messages. Resume the friendship only when you are ready to accept your friend’s relationship with your ex.

6. Hang out with your favourite people

It is high time you give importance to other favourite people in your life, apart from the friend who is dating your ex. You must hang out with those people and try to bring fun and excitement back into your life. Good moments spent with your favourite people will speed up your process of healing.

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7. Try to be supportive

Do not commit the mistake of losing a good friend because of an ex who does not really matter. If you truly value your friend, then you will at least try to be supportive of the relationship and give them an opportunity to make things work. By doing so, you will still have your friend by your side, even if their relationship does not work out in the future.

8. Have a conversation with your ex

It is important that you take the step to build a cordial relationship with your ex, at least for your friend’s happiness. So talk to your ex and sort out any issues that you both may be having against each other and gradually accept each other.

9. Avoid being fake

You have to maintain your grace and dignity while dealing with this situation. You cannot pretend to be very happy and fake good behaviour in front of your friend and your ex. This is downright shameful. Just maintain cordial relationship and avoid getting into clumsy situations with them.

10. Avoid giving ultimatums

Never ever tell your friend to chose between your ex and you, because this will just create senseless misunderstandings and awkward problems between the relationships the three of you share now.

11. Do not dwell in the past

If you happen to accept the relationship between your friend and your ex, you might have to come face-to-face with your ex many times. When you meet your ex, it is better not to dwell in the past but try to focus on the present happiness of your friend. Learn to let go for a better future.

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12. Break your friendship

If it becomes very difficult for you to see your friend and your ex together and you are unable to feel good about it, then the smart move on your part would be to break your friendship forever. By breaking the friendship, at least you will avoid becoming a bitter person.

13. Avoid being angry

The moment you let anger control you, you will become an immature and unproductive person. Thus, you must try to avoid being angry and become more mature to bring out realistic solutions to the problems you are facing.

14. Do not get into a rebound relationship

Just for the sake of making your ex-jealous or your friend uncomfortable, you should not get into a rebound relationship. This will just ruin your chances of finding true love in your life and you will just seem desperate to others. Get into a new relationship only when you are ready.

15. Focus on good things in life

Instead of getting bogged down by the betrayal, you can actually focus on things like your family, your career, your hobbies, etc. and try to work on improving yourself as a person.

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Can your friend date your ex?

Well, this totally depends on you and your feelings. If you have gotten over your ex and probably are happy with the way your life is after the breakup, then you can give the green signal to your friend. However, if the situation is opposite and you still love your ex, then probably your friend must avoid dating your ex.

It is natural to get upset and feel annoyed with the fact that your friend is dating your ex. But if you genuinely feel that your friend and your ex are meant for each other and that their relationship could work out, then there is no harm in giving them your blessings. This is especially in cases where your friend is actually someone whom you value a lot and your ex is actually not a bad person.

However, in cases where your friend is just an acquaintance, you will probably end all communications with him/her for being so selfish and mean. This will not bother you that much and you will be able to forget about the entire situation.

By following these 15 tips, you can be assured that you will have a much more positive and healthier life, by avoiding the temptation to take revenge on your friend and/or your ex.

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