Relationships 101

How To Keep Calm When Your Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys

My girlfriend ignores me and talks to other guys.
girlfriend talks to other guys

Jealousy and insecurity in a relationship are normal, but to an extent. When your girlfriend talks to other guys, you feel a bit jealous and don’t know what to do about it.

Jealousy and insecurity exists when you feel that your partner is better than you and someone else can sweep her off her feet. Such jealousy arises out of insecurity and low self-esteem. If you don’t keep calm in such situations, it can poison your relationship.

5 Probable Reasons Your Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys

Your girlfriend may not be an introvert like you. She talks to other guys more than she talks to girls and this makes you a bit insecure. You are in a situation where you ask yourself all these questions like My girlfriend talks to other guys behind my back”, should I get mad if my girlfriend talks to other guys? Why does my girlfriend talk about other guys in front of me? I get jealous when she talks to other guys, is it wrong to ask my girlfriend to stop talking to someone?

By the end of this article, all your questions of whether you should be worried or whether you’re overthinking will be answered.

Here are 5 probable reasons your girlfriends talks to other guys.

1. She is trying to make you jealous

Sometimes talking to other guys is just a stunt that girlfriends pull off to gain your attention. They want you to pay more attention to them like you would do before. They want you to stick around them more often.

She is trying to make you jealous
She might be fooling around to make you jealous Image source

2. She’s not that into you

Your girlfriend may not be as serious as you are in the relationship. She might be using your relationship as a cover till she finds someone else or she may not be ready for a full commitment yet. You are perhaps just a backup boyfriend for her. Maybe she has a star sign that are flirtatious by nature!

3. She doesn’t respect you

Imagine you both going to a party and she leaves you to flirt with other guys. She doesn’t even care that you are also at the party. This is an indication that she doesn’t respect you and your presence doesn’t matter to her at all.

She doesn't respect you
, She does not respect your sentiments Image source

4. She wants to have control over you

Sometimes, girlfriends talk to other guys and flirt with them to mess with you. They want you to feel insecure about them, so that you start valuing them more. She wants to have more power over you by making you fear that you can lose her to other guys any day.

5. It’s in your head

Sometimes we tend to just overthink about things and ruin our relationship(s). Your girlfriend is an extrovert and feels more comfortable in the company of guys. She may not be a person who makes girls their best friends. It may just be her extrovert nature.

Related reading: My outgoing girlfriend hates restrictions and I feel insecure. How should I handle this situation?

10 Things To Do When Your Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys

It is important not to let your jealousy and insecurity get the better of you and you overcome your insecurity. If you want to do something about your girlfriend talking to other guys, you need to keep calm first and handle it maturely. If you don’t do anything about it, you could turn into an over possessive boyfriend and this jealousy could turn into obsession. So, how to tell if your girlfriend is flirting with another guy? What to do when your girlfriend talks to other guys? We have 10 things.

1. Accept how you feel

The first step is to make peace with how you feel. Don’t avoid the jealousy or try to cover it up. It is normal to feel jealous at times. Accept how you are feeling and tell your girlfriend that you do feel a bit jealous and ignored when she talks to another guy. At first, she might feel bad about it but she will also understand when she cools down. Think about which is better, going behind her back and spying on her or telling her about how you feel so that it can be dealt with?

Accept how you feel
Do not run away from yout feelingsImage source

2. Be calm

Don’t jump to conclusions that your girlfriend is cheating on you and start yelling and accusing her. Instead keep calm let it all unfold by itself. If you feel like confronting her, do it calmly by asking her. Remember that you’re trying to work on your relationship not ruin it.

3. Give your 100%

Instead of worrying about the other guys in her life, you need to focus on your relationship with her. Focusing on other people will only drive you farther from her. Pay more attention to her and take care of her like you used to. Keep your relationship fun. Do things to make her happy by giving her surprises. Build a stronger foundation.

Related Reading: 20 Things To Do To Make Your Girlfriend Happy

4. Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself
Believe in your love and yourselfImage source

As said earlier, most of the jealousy and insecurity comes with a low self-esteem. You might be feeling so because you feel that your partner is more talented and attractive than you. Remember, your partner chose you over all those charming men that were after her. It’s because she’s in love with you and wants to be with you. Believe in yourself and trust your relationship.

5. Don’t try to control her

If she is talking to other guys, don’t try to tell her to stop talking to them. She knows her boundaries. Trying to control her actions will only make you the bad guy and she will lose respect for you. By controlling her, you will just portray yourself as an obsessive boyfriend. Don’t be that person.

6. Try to understand your feelings

It is important to first understand and identify why you feel jealous or bad when your girlfriend talks to other guys. Think about the times you felt bad and understand which parts triggered you the most. If your girlfriend is talking to other guys behind your back and not telling you about it then you have a right to feel the same. But if she is doing it openly, it maybe because she knows that you trust her and she can be herself in front of you.

Ask yourself, which parts are affecting you the most and try to understand the reason for your jealousy. It may not be about her, it could be about something related to you and your past relationships.

Related reading: He plays around but I’m not supposed to

7. Try to balance your life

Balance your life and thoughts
Balance your life and thoughtsImage source

Sometimes, partners get so involved in their relationships, that they don’t have a life outside their relationship. They are used to doing everything with their partner, even though it is as small as doing laundry together. Clingy behaviour ruins relationships. It is important for you to have a life out of your relationship too. Remember who you were before the relationship. Pursue your hobbies. Go out with other friends. This will help reduce your insecurity.

8. Put yourself in your girlfriend’s shoes

Think about the reasons that would have led to your girlfriend to talk to other guys. The way you see a situation might not be the same as your girlfriend. Think about how your girlfriend sees the situation. For example, if your girlfriend is talking to her ex, you might be thinking that she wants to get back with him. But if he’s still her friend, she might just be there for him as a friend.

9. Stay in the present

There could have been times in the initial stages of the relationship when your girlfriend wasn’t sure about her feelings and started flirting with other guys. After realizing her mistake she must have stopped and is now a changed person. The insecurities of the past may be triggering your present.

Don’t bring up the past to justify the present. Your girlfriend is now a changed person. Trust her. Talk to her about it instead of thinking of her as a cheater.

10. Talk to her

talk things out
Talk things out Image source

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you’re not feeling good about your girlfriend talking to other guys, talk to her about it. Tell her why it is affecting you so much and how you feel. Your girlfriend will understand and start paying more attention to you. Sometimes, simple things like an honest conversation are enough to solve such a problem.

Jealousy will always be there to get the better of the relationship. It is important to not let things like jealousy come in between your relationship.

The most important thing is to trust your girlfriend and build a strong foundation. Those guys may not mean anything at all. Don’t start investigating as it will ruin your relationship when she finds out. Pay attention to your girlfriend and focus on making the relationship healthier rather than thinking about the guys she is talking to. Trust yourself and your relationship.

https://www.bonobology.com/girlfriend-ignoring-you/
https://www.bonobology.com/past-relationships-affecting-present-relationship/
https://www.bonobology.com/why-do-fights-become-more-important-than-relationships-qa-with-prachi/

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