Consider this scenario: You meet a girl and you both hit it off and sparks fly. She keeps doing things to get your attention. In the beginning, you do not pay much heed to this and might even find it cute. You have no idea she’s an attention seeker. The trouble with attention-seeking women is that they find a way to make everything about themselves, and as a result, your own needs, desires and expectations may become totally eclipsed.
Over time, her behavior will become more and more desperate. You start doubting her feelings toward you. It seems you are just there in her life to satisfy her ego and you do not matter to her and she is simply being selfish. If this is a situation that you are facing in your love life, then you are the victim of an attention-seeking girlfriend.
Why do women always want attention? You may find yourself asking as she leaves you drained emotionally, physically and maybe even financially. Well, not all women vie for attention all the time, but attention-seeking women certainly do. This article will help you identify the signs of such attention-seeking women so you can watch out for them.
Who Really Is An Attention Seeker?
Before we get into identifying the typical traits of attention-seeking women, let’s take a moment to understand who really is an attention seeker? Simply put, an attention seeker is a person who only wants recognition from all the people around him/her. An attention-seeking person feels the need for constant validation from others and feels (knowingly or unknowingly) empty and disappointed if they are unable to be at the center of attention. Hence, they end up doing things that attract the attention of others.
Attention-seeking women can be skilled in managing and manipulating people. Socially too, they can adapt very easily and might modify their personality based on their surroundings. When you are dating an attention-seeking girl, you will notice that she will have the power to draw you toward her and keep you by her side, but might never give you the respect and value that you deserve. This is one of the first warning signs she only wants attention and not a real relationship with you.
She will ensure that you give 100% to the relationship and might even make you believe that you both can have a bright future together. But in the end, an attention-seeking woman might just want you around just to validate her and boost her ego. Attention seekers can often act selfishly.
Having an attention-seeking girlfriend means you might find yourself constantly trying to solve her problems and never getting the chance to share any of your own. You will feel like you are her therapist, parent, boyfriend and best friend all wrapped into one. And the things a girl will do to get your attention will boggle your mind.
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15 Signs Of Attention-Seeking Women In Relationships
When a girl wants your attention, she will surely act a certain way to make sure you notice her and she leaves a lasting impression on your mind. So if it’s not unusual for women (and men) to behave uncharacteristically to get the attention of a romantic interest or someone they desire, how can you tell whether you’re dealing with a typical attention seeker or just someone who is putting themselves out there to be noticed?
Well, one telling difference is that for attention-seeking women, this behavior is not uncharacteristic. That is just how they’re, irrespective of the situation, circumstances or who they’re surrounded by. To better illustrate the signs of an attention-seeking woman, let me share the example of my friend, Tony, and his ex-girlfriend, Lisa. As with most relationships, theirs too started on a high note.
Lisa was a little out there but Tony doted on her and went above and beyond to placate her never-ending need for attention. If she fished for compliments, Tony would indulge her with flattery. When she bragged about her accomplishments, he beamed with pride. If she tagged along wherever he went, he gushed about how she couldn’t stay without him. However, the lack of space in the relationship soon became too overwhelming. When Tony couldn’ keep up with her need for attention, the tantrums began.
The final straw was when she faked a medical emergency to get him to take her to the ER just so he wouldn’t go out with his friends. “Things a girl will do to get your attention,” Tony sighed, as he made up his mind to break up with her. If you want to avoid being consumed by such constant demands and needs of an attention-seeking girlfriend, then look out for these 15 warning signs:
1. An attention seeker thrives on compliments
How do you know if a girl is attention-seeking? Pay attention to her vanity quotient. Attention-seeking women focus on their appearances a lot more than usual. You can see that she visibly cares about her appearance more than others do. While most people invest in their appearance, you will notice that she gets irritated when you don’t acknowledge the slightest change in her hair or nails.
At the same time, she might be stingy with giving out compliments. You can also find her visibly fishing for compliments when she unnecessarily makes negative remarks about how she looks so that you can pay her a compliment. Don’t overlook these signs of an attention-seeking woman as cutesy, harmless quirks for these will only become more overbearing with time.
2. Bragging is her favorite hobby
She will exaggerate her achievements and good qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc., not to put you down, but just to show you her importance and value. She feels the need to be superior to the people around her, and showing off is one way to do so. You will feel like a standby lover and grossly underappreciated.
A man dating an attention-seeking girl confided in us and told us that he constantly felt inadequate because his girlfriend claimed she could do everything better than him. She was constantly talking about what an excellent cook she is when he would make something for her or bring her food from elsewhere.
Somehow, she would always find faults in the way he did things and would contrast these with how perfectly she handled all tasks and situations. She even bragged about being a much better driver than him despite the fact that she had been in several minor accidents and struggled to follow basic traffic laws.
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3. She loves creating a scene
An attention-seeking woman’s world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a small problem like a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. One of the trademark characteristics of attention-seeking women is that they love creating a scene and telling everyone about it.
This ensures they keep getting the attention they want. Your attention-seeking girlfriend too will blow things out of proportion so that you keep being there for her because of genuine interest and concern. Chances are she will dramatize all aspects of her encounters just so that the spotlight always remains on her. Ignoring an attention-seeking girl can seem nearly impossible because if you try, you will find yourself dealing with astonishing levels of drama. You can count on it
4. Attention-seeking women are overactive on social media
Attention-seeking women and social media are a match made in heaven. These platforms serve her constant need for attention, and all the likes, comments, and reactions to her posts serve as the validation she needs to thrive. An attention-seeking girl is sure to be active on various social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and will keep uploading pictures and quotes on her profiles.
She may be addicted to online chatting, social media and the internet. While everyone enjoys having a social media presence, you will find her obsessing about her likes and followers. She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back. But she will reply to you or tag you on social media posts. This is an absolute sign your girl is an attention seeker.
She may even use social media to get you attention if she feels that you’re no longer as besotted with her as you used to be. For instance, if you have a tiff, she may put up stories that show her having a time of her life just to make you jealous and get you to reach out to her. This is one of the telling signs she wants your attention on social media.
5. She can easily make you and others feel jealous
If she feels that you are losing interest in her, she will try to win back your attention by making you feel jealous. She will flirt with your friends, talk to other guys in front of you, and might even act unnecessarily close with your guy friends. Also, attention-seeking women can sometimes use you to make others jealous by flaunting you in front of them.
She might become cozy with you in front of her friends to the point that they feel uncomfortable; another attention-seeking tantrum. This is one of the warning signs a woman wants your attention but nothing more. She is not emotionally invested in you. This can leave you feeling extremely objectified. Besides, the hot-and-cold dynamics can leave you awfully confused, as her behavior with you will never be consistent.
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6. She is never really there for you
An attention-seeking woman expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you need her, she will always be busy and might give you a lame excuse. She will never give you clear answers to any of the questions you ask, especially if the questions are related to commitment and your future together and will always cook up some story to keep you by her side.
She could be commitment-phobic due to her need for attention from multiple sources at once. Or she may not be emotionally invested in you at all and may just be with you for all the attention she’s getting. Either way, it can leave you riddled with feelings of discontentment. That’s when ignoring an attention-seeking girl becomes essential.
7. An attention seeker opens up very fast
After she meets you and thinks you are the guy she wants attention from, she will become way too comfortable with you. She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you and treat you like you are an old friend. She will make sure you know that she is interested in you, albeit for her selfish reasons.
We all know of someone who shared her entire family and medical history on the very first date. Attention-seeking women can often be over-sharers. Her comfort level with you may make you feel as if there is intense and instant chemistry between you two, as a resul you may feel a lot more drawn to her. But tread carefully, this could be among the signs she wants you to talk to her to get your attention.
8. An attention seeker lacks maturity
At first, she might seem like a mature person to you. But eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants, she will throw temper tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her.
When the relationship starts to feel like a full-time job rather than a healthy partnership that brings you joy, consider it as one of the clear signs a woman wants your attention and perhaps nothing more. Having an attention-seeking girlfriend can truly be an emotionally draining experience, leaving you wondering why do women always want attention.
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9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’
How do you know if a girl is attention-seeking? Here is an unmistakable sign: an attention-seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side. If you decide to spend time on your own then she will get upset very easily. If you make plans with your friends, then she will either manipulate you to cancel the plan or force you to take her with you.
She wants to be the center of your world so she will never let you have me-time. The importance of personal space is a foreign concept to attention-seeking women. They are adept at smothering you, leaving you feeling trapped and suffocated in the relationship. The things a girl will do to get your attention will make her come across as a clingy girlfriend.
10. Attention-seeking women argues a lot
Attention-seeking women have this constant need to always be right. That’s why if you have an attention-seeking girlfriend, you may notice that she has a tendency to pick fights without any concrete reason. It may be with you or with others. It is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over others/you.
At the end of the argument or fight, she will twist the conversations in such a way that all the blame will be on you. A woman who needs an unreasonable amount of attention to feel good about herself is, in all likelihood, also an insecure woman. It is this insecurity that makes being right far more important to her than keeping peace and harmony in the relationship.
11. Flirting just comes naturally to her
Not a day goes by without her flirting with another guy. It is like second nature for her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from interacting with guys who make advances on her. She may secretly chat with a guy who’s hitting on her or openly reciprocate the advances of a guy who makes a move at her (even in your presence).
Flirting comes naturally to her. This is because attention from one guy is not enough to fill the void in her and she wants several men to be interested in her at all times. This pattern typically presents itself after the rush of the honeymoon phase is over and the attention you’re giving her is beginning to wane. When this happens, it’s best to focus on ignoring an attention-seeking girl than getting all riled up by her actions because that’s precisely what she wants.
12. She pretends to be nice
A girl thriving on attention might pretend to be nice and kind-hearted. But try ignoring an attention-seeking girl, and her true colors will come out. You will see that she helps people to win their approval more than out of the pure intentions of her heart. There is a chance that her motivation to be nice might come from a selfish place. An attention-seeking woman is controlling in nature.
When such signs of an attention-seeking woman start becoming apparent, they can shift your perspective about her and your relationship. You can begin to realize that she is not the woman you thought she was. The gravity of the things a girl will do to get your attention will leave you astonished.
13. An attention seeker seems to know everyone
It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists and even if she has not met someone in person, she will behave as if she knows them very well. She is a total extrovert!
While that’s not a bad thing in itself, her extroverted nature can become problematic because her schedule is choc-a-bloc with social activities. This may leave little time for you to bond with her. You may find that she has no time for or inclination to build a meaningful connection with you and you’re reduced to a trophy she likes to flaunt in her social circles. This is among the glaring signs she only wants attention.
14. She likes hanging out in public places
Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, an attention-seeking girl will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Because she’s an extrovert and wants to be seen and hence will prefer public places where there are more chances of that happening. This is one of the absolute signs of an attention-seeking woman.
If you can’t get her to agree to even one at-home date night and the whole painting the town red routine is getting a bit taxing, you can count it among the signs she only wants attention. Be it from you or others, be it with you or without, her need for attention trumps all else – even your relationship.
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15. Her friends are copies of her
Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with are just like her. They also exhibit the same attention-seeking signs, because of which she might not let you meet her friends as well. Very rarely will you find good friends around her and even if she has maintained a good relationship with her friends, you will find that they are unable to influence her behavior or talk any sense into her.
Attention-seeking girls are unable to build strong and normal relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So if you are hoping to create a long-lasting, exclusive relationship with someone, then do not fall into the trap of an attention seeker.
How to handle an attention-seeking girl?
Now that you know the signs of an attention seeker, the next order of business is understanding what to do if you land an attention-seeking girlfriend. Here are a couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention-seeking girls or attention-seeking women would be the following:
- Be mature: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security
- Set boundaries: Be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries
- Be honest: Talk to her honestly and let her know that such behavior will not be tolerated by you
- Ignoring an attention-seeking girl: And finally, back off from the relationship. Do not allow her to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl
Types Of Attention-Seeking Women You Meet In The Dating World
Attention-seeking women usually get into relationships to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. One of the most telling signs of an attention-seeking woman is that she is not afraid to put herself out there. Since, in all probability, she isn’t looking for a long-term meaningful connection, she’d be single and looking more often than not. This means that the dating world, especially the world of online dating, is abuzz with attention-seeking women. Here are the types of attention seekers that you may find in the dating world:
1. Merrymaking attention seeker
When you hang out with this variety of attention-seeking women, they will seem adventurous and fun to you. The merrymaker will instill life and enjoyment in any place or situation whatsoever. But when in a relationship, such merrymaking attention seekers tend to frustrate their partners with their boisterous and loud behavior. While initially you may enjoy their willingness for impromptu plans or adventures, you will soon find it hard to keep them entertained and will feel exhausted and drained of all energy after meeting them.
2. The hyper-sexual attention seeker
She will seem irresistible to you because of her physical appearance and her personality. You will feel as if you are lucky to be in a relationship with such a sexy person. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to her flirtatious nature. The hyper-sexual attention-seeking woman uses her physicality to get people to notice her. She may even not hesitate to put herself out there and hint to her other men that she is available even when she is in a relationship with you.
3. Argumentative attention seeker
This kind loves to dominate others by using her debating skills. Partners of argumentative attention-seeking women generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways. When in a relationship, these attention-seeking women dominate their partners and do not care about how their partners feel about their attitude. They seek attention not only from their partners but others as well.
So if you meet a girl and feel that she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, try not to be shocked because this is how attention-seeking women usually behave. Keeping your distance and ignoring an attention-seeking girl may be your best recourse as there the chance of her breaking this behavior pattern may be slim to none. This attitude might be so deeply ingrained in her that it has become her whole personality.