Consider this scenario: You meet a girl and you both really hit it off well. In the beginning, she keeps doing things to get your attention. You do not pay much heed to it and find it cute.
But over time, her behaviour becomes desperate and intense. You start doubting her feeling towards you. It seems you are just there in her life to satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her. If this is a situation that you are facing in your love life, then you are actually the victim of an attention seeking girlfriend.
Who is an attention seeker?
Simply put, an attention seeker is a person who only wants attention from all the people around him/her. He/she probably feels empty and disappointed if they are unable to garner the attention of others. For gaining the attention of others, an attention seeker is actually quite skilled in managing and manipulating people. Socially too, the person is able to adapt very easily.
It seems you are there in her life to just satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her.
When you are dating an attention seeking girl, you will notice that she will have the power to draw you towards her and keep you by her side, but will never really give you the respect and value that you deserve. She will ensure that you give 100 percent to the relationship and might even make you believe that you both can have a bright future together. But in the end, she genuinely has no interest in being in a relationship with you. She wants you around just to validate her and boost her ego.
Types of attention seekers you meet in the dating world
Attention seekers usually get into relationships in order to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. Here are the types of attention seekers that you may find in the dating world.
Merrymaking attention seeker
When you will hang out with this kind of attention seeker, he/she will seem adventurous and fun to you. The merrymaker will instil life and enjoyment in any place or situation whatsoever. But when in a relationship, such merrymaking attention seekers tend to frustrate their partners with their boisterous and loud behaviour.
Over sexualised attention seeker
He/she will seem absolutely irresistible to you because of his/her physical appearance and way of speaking. You will feel as if you are lucky to be in a relationship with such a sexy person. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to his/her flirtatious behaviour.
Argumentative attention seeker
This kind loves to dominate others by using his/her debating skills. Partners of argumentative attention seekers generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways.
When in a relationship, attention seekers dominate their partners, do not care about how their partners feel regarding their attention seeking attitude and they want attention from not only their partners but others as well. So if you meet a girl and feel that she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, then do not be shocked because this is how an attention seeking girl usually behaves. Better keep your distance from such a girl, because attention seeking is deeply ingrained in the minds of such people.
Related reading: What to expect when you’re dating an only child
15 signs a girl only wants your attention and NOT you
An attention seeker is so addicted to attention that he/she can adopt any means to seek the validation and approval of others. If you want to avoid being duped by an attention seeking girlfriend, then look out for these 15 signs which will help you identify an attention seeker in no time.
1. An attention seeker thrives on compliments
A girl seeking only attention from you will work on her appearance and make herself look sexy just to get praise from you and the others around her. She will also unnecessarily make negative remarks in relation to how she looks so that you can compliment her instead. She basically lives on compliments.
2. Bragging is like her favourite hobby
She will exaggerate her achievements and good qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc., not to put you down, but just to show you her importance and value. She actually feels the need to be superior to the people around her, so showing off is one way to do so.
3. She loves creating a scene
Her world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a small problem like a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. She loves creating a scene out of nothing and tells everyone about it. In this way, she keeps getting the attention she wants and you keep being there for her because of genuine interest and concern.
4. An attention seeker is highly active on social media
You will notice that most of the time, the girl will be active on various social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc., and will keep uploading pictures and quotes on her profiles. She does so because she wants people to be in constant touch with her and keep giving her the attention she needs. She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back. But she will definitely reply to you or tag you on social media posts. This is an absolute sign your girl is attention seeker.
5. She can easily make you and others feel jealous
If she feels that you are losing interest in her then she will bring back your attention towards her by making you feel jealous. She will flirt with your friends in front of you and might even act close with her guy friends. In addition, she can make others jealous by flaunting you in front of her friends. She will become too cosy with you in front of her friends so that they feel uncomfortable and bad. This is a sign she only wants attention.
6. She is never really there for you
She expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you will need her, she will always bail out giving you some lame excuse. She will never give you clear answers to any of the questions you ask, especially if the questions are related to commitments and your future together and will always cook up some story to keep you by her side.
7. An attention seekers opens up very fast
After she meets you and thinks you are the guy she wants attention from, she will actually become way too comfortable with you. She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you and behave with you like you are an old acquaintance. If a girl becomes overtly friendly with you in a short span of time then you must be careful, because she might just be an attention seeker.
8. An attention seeker lacks maturity
At first she might seem like a mature adult to you. But eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants then she will throw tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her.
9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’
An attention seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side when she wants it. If you decide to spend time on your own then she will get upset very easily. If you make plans with your friends, then she will either manipulate you to cancel the plan or force you to take her with you. She wants to be the centre of your world so she will never let you have me-time.
Related reading: 15 signs YOU are being a clingy girlfriend
10. An attention seeker argues a lot
Without any concrete reason, she will start fighting with the others or with you. It is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over others/you. At the end of the arguments or fights, she will twist the conversations in such a way that all the blame will be on you and she will steer clear of any blame.
11. Flirting just comes naturally to her
Not a day goes by without her flirting with another guy. It is like a routine to her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from making advances at another guy. This is because attention from one guy is not enough to fill the void in her.
12. She pretends to be nice
A girl thriving on attention pretends to be nice and kind-hearted because she knows this is how she will be able to get the validation from others. So she is extremely good and goes out of the way to help people, just so that they approve of her. But internally, she might not be that kind-hearted at all.
13. An attention seeker seems to know everyone
It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists and even if she has not met someone in person, she will behave as if she knows them very well.
14. She likes hanging out in public places
Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, she will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Obviously because she wants to be seen and wants to get attention, so she will prefer public places where other guys might also notice her. This is an absolute sign she is an attention seeker.
15. Her friends are copies of her
Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with are just like her. They also exhibit the same attention seeking signs, because of which she might actually not let you meet with her friends as well. Very rarely will you find good friends around her and even if good friends are there, they will not able to improve her behaviour.
Attention seeking girls are unable to build strong and normal relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So if you are hoping to create a long lasting relationship with someone, then do not fall into the trap of an attention seeker.
How to handle an attention seeking girl?
A couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention seeking girls would be the following: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security, be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries, talk to her honestly and let her know that such a behaviour will not be tolerated by you, and finally back off from the relationship. Do not give her the opportunity to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl.