Consider this scenario: You meet a girl and you both hit it off and sparks are flying. In the beginning, she keeps doing things to get your attention. You do not pay much heed to this and might even find it cute. You have no idea she’s an attention seeker. The trouble with attention-seeking women is that they find a way to make everything about themselves, and as a result, your own needs, desires and expectations may become totally eclipsed.
Over time, her behavior will become more and more desperate. You start doubting her feelings toward you. It seems you are just there in her life to satisfy her ego and you do not matter to her and she is simply being selfish. If this is a situation that you are facing in your love life, then you are the victim of an attention-seeking girlfriend.
This article will help you identify the signs of such attention-seeking women so you can watch out for them.
Who Really Is An Attention Seeker?
Simply put, an attention seeker is a person who only wants recognition from all the people around him/her.
An attention-seeking person feels the need for constant validation from others and feels (knowingly or unknowingly) empty and disappointed if they are unable to be at the center of attention. Hence, they end up doing things that attract the attention of others.
An attention seeker can be skilled in managing and manipulating people. Socially too, the person can adapt very easily and might modify their personality based on their surroundings. When you are dating an attention-seeking girl, you will notice that she will have the power to draw you toward her and keep you by her side, but might never give you the respect and value that you deserve.
She will ensure that you give 100% to the relationship and might even make you believe that you both can have a bright future together. But in the end, an attention-seeking woman might just want you around just to validate her and boost her ego. Attention-seekers can often act selfishly.
Having an attention-seeking girlfriend means you might find yourself constantly trying to solve her problems and never getting the chance to share any of your own. You will feel like you are her therapist, parent, boyfriend and best friend all wrapped into one.
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15 Signs A Girl Only Wants Your Attention And NOT You
If you want to avoid being consumed by the constant demands and needs of an attention-seeking girlfriend, then look out for these 15 signs which will help you identify an attention-seeking woman in no time:
1. An attention seeker thrives on compliments
How do you know if a girl is attention-seeking? Pay attention to her vanity quotient. An attention-seeking girl will work on her appearance more than usual. You can see that she visibly cares about her appearance more than others do. While most people invest in their appearance, you will notice that she gets irritated when you don’t acknowledge the slightest change in her hair or nails.
At the same time, she might be stingy with giving out compliments. You can also find her visibly fishing for compliments when she unnecessarily makes negative remarks about how she looks so that you can pay her a compliment. Don’t overlook these signs of an attention seeker as cutesy, harmless quirks for these will only become more overbearing with time.
2. Bragging is like her favorite hobby
She will exaggerate her achievements and good qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc., not to put you down, but just to show you her importance and value. She feels the need to be superior to the people around her, and showing off is one way to do so. You will feel like a standby lover and grossly underappreciated.
A man dating an attention-seeking girl confided in us and told us that he constantly felt inadequate because his girlfriend claimed she could do everything better than him. She was constantly talking about what an excellent cook she is when he would make something for her or bring her food from elsewhere.
Somehow, she would always find faults in the way he did things and would contrast these with how perfectly she handles all tasks and situations. She even bragged about being a much better driver than him despite the fact that she had been in several minor accidents and struggled to follow basic traffic laws!
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3. She loves creating a scene
An attention-seeking woman’s world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a small problem like a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. One of the trademark characteristics of attention-seeking women is that they love creating a scene and telling everyone about it.
This ensures they keep getting the attention they want. Your attention-seeking girlfriend too will blow things out of proportion so that you keep being there for her because of genuine interest and concern. Chances are she will dramatize all aspects of her encounters just so that the spotlight always remains on her.
4. An attention seeker is highly active on social media
You will notice that most of the time that an attention-seeking girl will be active on various social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and will keep uploading pictures and quotes on her profiles. She does so because she wants people to be in constant touch with her and keep giving her the attention she needs.
She may be addicted to online chatting, social media and the internet. While everyone enjoys having a social presence, you will find her obsessing about her likes and followers. She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back. But she will reply to you or tag you on social media posts. This is an absolute sign your girl is an attention seeker.
5. She can easily make you and others feel jealous
If she feels that you are losing interest in her, she will try to win back your attention by making you feel jealous. She will flirt with your friends, talk to other guys in front of you, and might even act unnecessarily close with your guy friends.
Also, attention-seeking women can sometimes use you to make others jealous by flaunting you in front of them. She might become cozy with you in front of her friends to the point that they feel uncomfortable; another attention-seeking tantrum. This can leave you feeling extremely objectified. Besides, the hot-and-cold dynamics can leave you awfully confused, as her behavior with you will never be consistent.
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6. She is never really there for you
An attention-seeking woman expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you need her, she will always be busy and might give you a lame excuse. She will never give you clear answers to any of the questions you ask, especially if the questions are related to commitment and your future together and will always cook up some story to keep you by her side.
She could be commitment-phobic due to her need for attention from multiple sources at once. Or she may not be emotionally invested in you at all and may just be with you for all the attention she’s getting. Either way, it can leave you riddled with feelings of discontentment. That’s when ignoring an attention-seeking girl becomes essential.
7. An attention seeker opens up very fast
After she meets you and thinks you are the guy she wants attention from, she will become way too comfortable with you. She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you and treat you like you are an old friend. She will make sure you know that she is interested in you, albeit for her selfish reasons.
We all know of someone who shared her entire family and medical history on the very first date! Attention-seeking women can often be over-sharers.
8. An attention seeker lacks maturity
At first, she might seem like a mature adult to you. But eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants then she will throw temper tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her. Having an attention-seeking girlfriend can truly be an emotionally draining experience.
9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’
How do you know if a girl is attention-seeking? Here is an unmistakable sign: an attention-seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side. If you decide to spend time on your own then she will get upset very easily. If you make plans with your friends, then she will either manipulate you to cancel the plan or force you to take her with you.
She wants to be the center of your world so she will never let you have me-time. Space in a relationship is important but this is a foreign concept to an attention-seeking woman.
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10. An attention seeker argues a lot
Attention-seeking women have this constant need to always be right. That’s why if you have an attention-seeking girlfriend, you may notice that she has a tendency to pick fights without any concrete reason. It may be with you or with others. It is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over others/you. At the end of the argument or fight, she will twist the conversations in such a way that all the blame will be on you.
11. Flirting just comes naturally to her
Not a day goes by without her flirting with another guy. It is like second nature for her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from interacting with guys who make advances on her. She may secretly chat with a guy who’s hitting on her or openly reciprocate the advances of a guy who makes a move at her (even in your presence).
Flirting comes naturally to her. This is because attention from one guy is not enough to fill the void in her and she wants several men to be interested in her at all times.
12. She pretends to be nice
A girl thriving on attention might pretend to be nice and kind-hearted. But try ignoring an attention-seeking girl, and her true colors will come out. You will see that she helps people to win their approval more than out of the pure intentions of her heart. There is a chance that her motivation to be nice might come from a selfish place. An attention-seeking woman is controlling in nature.
13. An attention seeker seems to know everyone
It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists and even if she has not met someone in person, she will behave as if she knows them very well. She is a total extrovert!
While that’s not a bad thing in itself, her extroverted nature can become problematic because her schedule is choc-a-bloc with social activities. This may leave little time for you to bond with her.
14. She likes hanging out in public places
Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, an attention-seeking girl will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Because she’s an extrovert and wants to be seen and hence, will prefer public places where there are more chances of that happening. This is an absolute sign she is an attention seeker.
15. Her friends are copies of her
Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with are just like her. They also exhibit the same attention-seeking signs, because of which she might not let you meet her friends as well. Very rarely will you find good friends around her and even if she has maintained a good relationship with her friends, you will find that they are unable to influence her behavior or talk any sense into her.
Attention-seeking girls are unable to build strong and normal relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So if you are hoping to create a long-lasting, exclusive relationship with someone, then do not fall into the trap of an attention seeker.
How to handle an attention-seeking girl?
Now that you know the signs of an attention seeker, the next order of business is understanding what to do if you land an attention-seeking girlfriend. Here are a couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention-seeking girls or attention-seeking women would be the following:
- Be mature: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security
- Set boundaries: Be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries
- Be honest: Talk to her honestly and let her know that such behavior will not be tolerated by you
- Ignoring an attention-seeking girl: And finally, back off from the relationship. Do not allow her to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl
Types Of Attention Seekers You Meet In The dating World
Attention seekers usually get into relationships to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. Here are the types of attention seekers that you may find in the dating world:
1. Merrymaking attention seeker
When you hang out with this kind of attention seeker, they will seem adventurous and fun to you. The merrymaker will instill life and enjoyment in any place or situation whatsoever. But when in a relationship, such merrymaking attention seekers tend to frustrate their partners with their boisterous and loud behavior.
While initially, you may enjoy their willingness for impromptu plans or adventures, you will soon find it hard to keep them entertained and will feel exhausted and drained of all energy after meeting them.
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2. Over sexualized attention seeker
He/she will seem irresistible to you because of his/her physical appearance and way of speaking. You will feel as if you are lucky to be in a relationship with such a sexy person. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to his/her flirtatious behavior.
3. Argumentative attention seeker
This kind loves to dominate others by using his/her debating skills. Partners of argumentative attention seekers generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways. When in a relationship, attention seekers dominate their partners and do not care about how their partners feel regarding their attention-seeking attitude. They seek attention not only from their partners but others as well.
So if you meet a girl and feel that she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, try not to be shocked because this is how attention-seeking people usually behave. It’s best to keep your distance as attention-seeking behavior might be deeply ingrained in such people.