How Does A Cancer Man Test You – And What You Should Do

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how does a cancer man test you
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There are polarized views on this but it’s not uncommon for people to test their love interests before getting too involved. You may want to check your compatibility with them before getting attached. A zodiac that will agree with this sentiment is Cancer. But how does a Cancer man test you?

Cancer is one of the signs that wears its heart on its sleeve. Cancer men like to hold on to traditional ideals, and may take the role of ‘provider’ in the relationship quite seriously. They love fiercely and are highly sensitive. Therefore, don’t be surprised if you find your Cancer man testing the waters when it comes to relationships. Because the mighty crab likes to hold onto something solid before it decides to sink deep inside.

How Does A Cancer Man Test You – And What You Should Do

When a Cancer man tests you, it’s not because he derives a sadistic pleasure out of it. It’s his defense mechanism. Cancerians are into a long-term commitment. They like to be sure of their partner. And these tests are not extravagant situations where he gives you points out of ten. He observes your behavior, talks to you, and tries to understand you. Here’s how he would do that:  

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1. He makes sure you’re not narcissistic

If you’re in the early stages of dating a Cancer man, then do note that he’s observing you ALL THE TIME. Cancerians are empaths, i.e., they’re highly attuned to the emotions of the people around them. Think of them as sponges who are capable of absorbing whatever the people around them are feeling. The toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist could be explosive, which is why he makes sure you’re not one. He notices:

  • If you often talk about how good you look, or how good you are at whatever you do
  • If you sulk when no one gives you any attention
  • How you handle disagreements

Cancer is a sign you should avoid showing off to. If you can’t resist talking about yourself, remember this is a zodiac that does not care about external validation. A Cancer man will give you a secure relationship but hates it when you fake it. To win their hearts, you have to show your true self.

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2. He tests your trustworthiness 

The crab prizes loyalty above all else. Cancer men have a jealous streak, partly because of their intense emotional connection, and partly due to their tendency to take dismissal or rejection personally. These men can become incredibly possessive, clingy, and even codependent at times. It may be stifling for signs like Aries which demand intellectual freedom. So how does a Cancer man test you? Here’s how:

  • He tells you something personal from his life and sees if you reciprocate
  • He observes if you’re loyal to your friends and family
  • He notices how well you keep your commitments

If you lie habitually or have a known history of cheating previously, the Cancer man will find it very difficult to trust you. It will be a great idea to be honest and open with him to show that you can be trusted. Tell him about your life so he can become comfortable around you. Cancerians are deeply empathetic so do not be worried about being judged. Taurus is great at providing this security to Cancer and that’s why they’re one of the most compatible zodiac sign pairs.

3. When a Cancer man buys you gifts, he’ll observe how you react

Cancer is ruled by the moon, which makes this sign quite in touch with its feminine side. These men don’t just love getting gifts (something you should take note of), but also giving them. Note that it doesn’t always mean expensive or utilitarian items, but something that they hold dear. So if a Cancer man likes you, he’ll want you to have a toy car from his childhood. He will probably observe things like:

  • Where you keep his gifts. Somewhere safe and accessible or in a dark junk drawer
  • How well you take care of them
  • If you remember when and why he gave a particular thing to you

Never be careless about the stuff he gives you. Cancer men are known to associate deep symbolic meanings with things that appear as trash to others. It can be pretty cumbersome for signs like Pisces that are minimalistic. But think of it like this; you’re not treasuring an old toy car, you’re treasuring a loving memory.

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4. He checks if you’re traditional

Cancer men are quite traditional. In Latin, Cancer is known as ‘Genitor’ which means parent, i.e., someone who provides for the family. When a Cancer man buys you gifts, he’s fulfilling the role of a provider. Though modern people rarely live by the traditional gender norms, a Cancer man will love it if you can take on the feminine caretaker role occasionally. But how does a Cancer man test you for traditionality? 

  • He notices if you like to cook/care for him
  • He asks you if you believe in a long-term monogamous commitment
  • He checks if you will wait for him to make the first move

Never admit your feelings to a Cancer man. He’ll probably want to do it first. If you want to express your feelings, it’ll be a great idea to do it through gestures instead of words. Bake for him. Ask him to open jars, to help move houses. Ask him to resolve a particular issue with a neighbor or at work. Make him feel needed.

5. How a Cancer man tests the waters – By getting ‘crabby’

It’s not surprising that the adjective ‘crabby’ refers to a person who can just not let go, somewhat like a crab clawing onto something. Cancerians are stubborn and know how to hold a grudge. And can be pretty vindictive if someone happens to cross them. No wonder they’re the most cold and unemotional signs in the zodiac. Sulking may be common in the early stages of dating a Cancer man, especially if you tend to be blunt. But do not be anxious. Many times it’s a ploy to check:

  • If you care about him and will come to talk to him
  • How you deal with disagreements
  • If you’re patient

Cancer men need constant reassurance of your feelings for them. This can be confrontational with signs like Gemini that like to flutter around. You have to give them the security they need. Talk to them, find out what bothers them. Be there without forcing your presence on them. Their brooding sessions usually fade out without anyone’s intervention, but you still need to show your love.

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6. How does a Cancer man test you? He gets the families involved

The crab belongs to the ‘House of Home and Family’ in many astrological traditions. Unsurprisingly, Cancer men are very close to their families. Getting introduced to his family or friends is one of the signs a Cancer man has feelings for you. Do not take this meeting lightly, because what his people think about you matters A LOT to him. Here are the things he’ll observe:

  • He’ll see how you bond with his family
  • He’ll notice if you can handle large parties
  • He checks with his people their opinion about you
  • He also asks about your family and is keen to meet them
  • He observes your relationship with your family

It can be difficult talking to your partner about your dysfunctional family but knowing your family is important to him. Tell him if you have problems within your family that have drifted you apart. But if you can, introduce him to your family. They’ll love him. 

Though you can rarely control what others think of you, if you can charm his people, you have him. Also, never say anything bad about his loved ones, especially his mother. Cancer men are ‘mama’s boys’. One mention of her salty stew, and you won’t be invited to next Sunday dinner. And that’s a sign a Cancer man has lost interest in you.

7. He checks if you’re organized

Cancers have an old-generation fascination with cleanliness, whether in their houses or their lives. They like to keep their spaces organized and comfortable. Similarly, they like routine in their lives, so Aquarius-Cancer compatibility in love may not work out due to their contrasting natures. Cancer men notice things like:

  • Do you have a specific routine for everything?
  • Do you like to plan and organize things?
  • How well can you take the randomness?

A partner who likes to sleep on the floor to avoid cleaning their bed is a Cancer man’s worst nightmare. Clean space for a Cancerian man is a mark of security in a relationship. Try to keep your space and life organized. Make sure there are minimal disturbances to his routine.

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8. He checks if you’re good with secrets

Cancers are popular for their mysterious nature. It takes them some time before they can be comfortable around someone new and tell them the secrets of their heart. Pretty much like a crab that rarely shows its underbelly under the shell. How does a cancer man test you about your discretion? They’ll check:

  • If you share his details with other people
  • If you remember even the most insignificant things he has told you about
  • If you keep secrets from him

Personal space for a Cancerian man is a sacred entity. If he’s letting you into his personal life, he’s expecting you to maintain the privacy he has maintained so far. To make a Cancer man happy, never make light of what he tells you, even if it appears to be irrelevant. Cancerians also won’t like it if you keep important secrets from them. They’re highly sensitive and will pick off the smell of dishonesty from even the most skilled liars.

9. He checks if you appreciate the past

Cancerians are nostalgic by nature. It’s common for them to boast about the glory of the past days. They’re into history and ancestry and like to collect relics. Do not be surprised if you find a pile of useless junk kept in pristine condition at their places. So you may find him:

  • Talking about his childhood and expecting you to do the same
  • Unable to move on from certain things
  • Being uncompromising when it comes to changes in life

It may be difficult for you to talk about things with nostalgia the way he does. If you have certain memories from childhood that trigger you, try to share that with him. He will respect your boundaries and not poke that area. Trying to keep those things away will only heighten his curiosity and sense of distrust. You also have to be patient with him when he starts bemoaning a change he’s not ready for. Asking him to “grow up” or “man up” will only invite him to sulk.

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10. He checks if you’re compatible physically and emotionally

How does a Cancer man test you when it comes to intimacy? The feminine energy that rules Cancer makes them seek an emotional connection rather than a physical one. This makes them more cuddly in bed rather than kinky. One of the signs a Cancer man has feelings for you is that he’ll target your sexual satisfaction instead of just his own. He can pick the smallest details from your love-making sessions, so he’ll notice:

  • What you like in between sheets
  • How you respond in bed
  • What you do afterward

Cancer likes to take care of their partner’s sexual needs. So he’ll take note of what you like and do it often to please you. Return the favor. It’s just selfish otherwise. But if you like bondage or humiliation role-play, they may not be into it as they’re tender lovers. A Cancer man may also take it the wrong way if you jump off the bed right away. If UTI is a concern and you want to pee after sex, then communicate that to him. Remember he’s likely to take anything personally. 

Key Pointers

  • Cancer men like to test their partners before developing a serious relationship
  • They may observe your behavior with other people, especially with his family
  • They prize loyalty and emotional sensitivity
  • They’re into old-fashioned love and find traditional ideals comforting
  • Don’t fake. Be open and honest with them. They may be prone to sulking so be patient with them

Cancer is one of the zodiac signs that are known to make the best partners. Especially if you’re into old-fashioned, courtly love ideas. But they take their time to trust people, which may make them test others for their loyalty. These tests are not outlandish like a fake catfishing scenario, but are nuanced, to pick up your vibe. Testing people is not for everyone, but a Cancer man likes to know what he’s dealing with before he decides to hold onto it. Because when the crab lets go, then you know he has lost interest.


1. Do Cancer guys test the women they love?

Cancer men do tend to test you. Since they are in for the long haul, they like to know their partner and if they’re compatible with them in the long run.

2. How do you know if a Cancer man is serious about you?

He’ll test you in various ways if you’re compatible with him. How does a Cancer man test you? Mostly through your behavior toward other people and your take on life. If a Cancer man likes you, he’ll get off his guard and share personal memories with you. Emotional connection is the biggest indicator of a Cancer man’s interest in you.

3. Why would a Cancer man test you?

Cancerians find it difficult to trust people. Since they aim for a long-term relationship, they like to be sure of any person before they open up.

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