He is married and I regret getting involved…
I am a 25-year-old woman. I was in a relationship with a guy who is 14 years older than me and also my colleague. We were in a relationship for almost one year. But he is married. I never wanted to be in an extramarital affair but it happened in my life. I still regret it…I don’t know how to move on after a breakup.
I need relationship counselling
I never thought that at 25 I would get involved with someone 14 years older to me, that too married, but it happened. During the affair, I was in depression and sometimes considered online counselling. When I was with him I was totally frustrated thinking about the future and thinking about his wife. But I have decided to withdraw because I was sinning every time we got close. Now I am not with him. I am trying to be strong and I am trying to focus on my work and family.
The problem is that he is my colleague and he sits near my desk in the office. He still says that he loves me and wants to be close to me. I really don’t know how to get over the breakup. Sometimes I feel weak, but again I ignore him because we can’t stay together and there is no future in the relationship.
He was cheating on his wife, which I can’t digest, being a woman. And there is no guarantee that tomorrow he will not cheat on me.
Can you please suggest to me how to ignore him politely and how to get over him emotionally. If he says something good to me I have tears in my eyes because I was too emotionally attached to him, but now I want to be strong. I sometimes wonder if relationship counselling would help me to get out of this mess. Please tell me how to move on after a breakup?
This is a smart step to get over a breakup
First of all, let me congratulate you for having taken a smart step. You are right in assuming that there is no point in continuing a relationship which has no future. Also, how can you be sure he won’t cheat on you, given his past record?
Now, to avoid him is going to be difficult. So please don’t be hard on yourself if you find yourself missing him or missing your times with him together.
But remain firm. Tell him in a non-confrontational way that all is over between you two and you want to get over him. The relationship between you is strictly professional now.
Tell him if he doesn’t stop bothering you, you will be forced to raise the matter in front of authorities at the office and even his wife might find out. He may lose his job. So it’s better for him to not reiterate his messages of love, because you are not interested.
I hope I have been able to answer your question, how to move on after a breakup?
Talk to a trusted colleague or senior if you can find one. Just stick it out and in no time you’d have moved on way ahead of this. There is no surefire formula for your question, how to move on after a breakup but with firmness and intelligence you will be able to handle the situation. Having him in the same office is difficult, I understand, but if you take the steps I told you to, you will get over this.