Humour

10 things only single people will relate to!

There are some advantages and some disadvantages to being single, whether you're a woman or a man!
A pretty girl using her long hair as a moustache

I’d blame planned obsolescence here – the reason why I began to reconsider my single life. This time it was the oven timer and I realised it’s been five homes, three electric kettles, and two water purifiers in seven years.

It’s only you

As I moved out of my parents’ home to my own home when I started working, this was my list of challenges:

You and only you are responsible for your keys

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Yes, living singly is a bigger responsibility than you might imagine. There can be spare keys, but no spare people to keep them for you! You cannot afford to be careless, else you may end up locked out of your own home.

There will be no one to make tea when you fall ill

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The only time I don’t want to be alone – when I am ill and can’t get up to make tea when I need it for comfort. Even if you hire a cook, she will come only once a day. You will still need someone to make tea for you if you have the flu or if you have twisted an ankle, but no one will be around.

Disasters also occur on the busiest of days

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The day you have to travel for a conference, your gas cylinder will finish. The day there is an important meeting there is also an announced plumbing crisis that can’t be left unattended. If you want to have some furniture or any other household item delivered, the delivery van can only come to your area when you are at your office desk trying to finish a bit in a report that also has to go the same day. It’s a ruthless world, deal with it!

There will be food wastage in the household

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Cooking for one person is not something your mother or grandmother can teach you. Because they have never done it! They will tell you to use your judgement and the resultant food is not going to taste good – be prepared to throw it out. Also after every four days the refrigerator will reject leftover food items – throw them out too.

Only married people in your social circles are adults

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No one thinks you have any importance till you are ‘married’. Rather, you are the problem if you are not. And those who come in couples are wiser, smarter, considered more responsible. Why? Simple – they tolerate each other and deal with in-laws, babies. Their opinions have a bigger say in the extended family and their vote counts. During family gatherings, they get separate rooms, while you will be asked to ‘adjust’ with juvenile cousins.

But for a single man there might be perks…

On the other hand…

It took me some time to learn how to deal with these. Especially as I began to see the plus side of single living, I realised these are the perks I will never have once lost!

No one will nag you about your personal habits

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You can be as disciplined as you want or as unorganised as you want- nobody cares, nobody to point out. This is what true freedom is. You can be messy when you want and clean up your house when you feel uncomfortable. You can sing out of tune in the bathroom, take as long as you want – because there will be no one waiting to shower after you.

No sleep disturbance

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You will never be sleep deprived or cranky. Sleep when you like, when you want. And there is nobody in your home making unwanted sounds, so your sleep will never get disturbed. You will always be fresh and it improves your work efficiency.

Freedom to wear what you feel like (or not)

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On a sultry summer day, if you want to wear old, torn, transparent clothes or none at all; no one’s looking! You don’t even need to shut the bathroom door and get claustrophobic.

All controls belong to you

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You own the TV schedule and no one fights for the remote, you decide the music you want to hear, you can adjust the AC or fan settings according to your requirements and your bath tap will be exactly at the temperature you left it at yesterday.

Your options are still open

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Don’t worry about how the world judges you, your options are still open, while it is the end of history for the married people. And what is more, you get to learn from their experiences and make more informed choices!

Published in Humour

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