Feeling a cold vibe in your marriage could be one of the most telling signs that your husband is ignoring you. In a marriage when your husband ignores you, you’re bound to feel neglected emotionally. It is a red flag. Partners do ignore each other sometimes after a fight, to show their displeasure or to get attention. However, when your spouse ignores you often or for days together, it could leave you depressed, hurt, and deeply affected.
Many women often wrestle with the question of why husbands ignore their wives. More importantly, they want an answer to, “What to do if your husband ignores you?” When a friend was struggling with a similar situation, I always told her this may be a temporary phase. However, the neglect only escalated and she started saying things like “My husband ignores me unless he wants something.” or “My husband ignores me when I cry.” It was then I told her that there seems to be a serious issue in your relationship.
If this issue isn’t tackled immediately, it can cause more problems in the future. Your husband will grow more distant day by day and before you know it, there will be this wall between the two of you that will become impossible to break down. When your husband ignores you, chances are he will be oblivious to your needs, would be aloof and you would feel he is not concerned with you at all. That calls for some serious thinking. You should try figuring out the reasons why husbands ignore their wives.
8 Reasons Why A Husband Ignores His Wife
When you find yourself in such a situation, you’d be constantly wondering what to do if your husband ignores you. Have you asked the question why? To be able to resolve an issue, it’s important to get to its root cause. That calls for some introspection and a close look at your relationship dynamic. For example, if your grouse is, “My husband ignores my family”, then take a look at the kind of relationship he has with your family. Is their relationship healthy or do your parents ignore him too? In the case of the latter, he is not wrong in ignoring them.
Likewise, if you find yourself lamenting, “My husband is mad at me and won’t talk to me”, then you have to ask yourself if there is anything you may have done to hurt his feelings. This is not to say that if your husband ignores you, the fault lies with you or that you’re somehow responsible for it. However, underlying relationship issues may often play a role. There are a few common reasons for which husbands ignore their wives. Let’s explore some of the top reasons why a husband ignores his wife:
1. He feels you have a tendency to nag
“Why does my husband ignore me?” If that question has been on your mind a lot, a little introspection could be a good place to start. Pay attention to how you behave around him? Are you being the quintessential nagging wife? If you’re always after him to do the chores and get upset if things don’t go your way, it’s possible that ignoring you is his coping mechanism. Because when your spouse ignores you, it could be his passive-aggressive way of pointing out that he is upset.
2. He’s wedded to his work
A husband ignoring his wife because he is consumed by ambition and a passion to excel in his professional life is not uncommon. If your husband is a workaholic, it’s only natural that you won’t rank at the top of his priority list. His life revolves around the workplace. He often stays late at work and brings it home too. He’d be looking at office reports or making phone calls at the dinner table too, and there is just no time for you to connect with him.
3. Lack of intellectual intimacy
Of the different types of intimacy in a relationship, intellectual intimacy is often among the most underrated. However, if you have not grown together intellectually, the marriage can become rife with the risk of spouses growing out of sync with each other. Perhaps, he finds it hard to converse with you because you are not interested in the things that excite him.
4. Boredom in the relationship
Boredom creeps into a long-term relationship more often than not. If both of you are not working to keep the spark alive, that boredom can continue to mount, turning into a wall of ice that keeps you apart. One of the reasons why husbands ignore their wives is that they are plain bored. So when your husband ignores your feelings, it is possible that it has simply become an escape.
5. Family interference is among the reasons why a husband ignores his wife
Yes, family is an important part of life and can be a great source of support during difficult times. However, once you’re married, it’s important to realize that you have your own life that is separate from that of your parents or siblings. Being too attached to your family, relatives, or friends, or encouraging their interference in your married life can also push your husband away. Perhaps, he loathes it, and so he ignores you and emotionally neglects you.
6. Financial conflict may lead to the husband ignoring the wife
When your husband ignores you, there is invariably some or the other underlying issue at play. One such issue could be financial stress in your marriage. Money can become a seriously contentious issue if both partners are not on the same page about spending and saving habits. If you are a spendthrift and always talking about shopping, renovating, and buying new things, and he wants to save for the sake of a secure future, then these divergent views on money could be one of the reasons why a husband ignores his wife.
7. Why does my husband ignore me? Infidelity to blame
“My husband ignores me unless he wants something, why?” One of the possible explanations behind this cold and distant behavior could be that he is having an affair. Perhaps, the guilt of cheating gets in the way of him engaging with you emotionally. Or maybe he has fallen in love with the other woman and is staying in the marriage owing to compulsions such as children or societal pressure.
Related Reading: 18 Top Unhappy Marriage Signs You Need To Know
8. When your husband ignores you, he could be manipulative
When your husband ignores you, it could be because he’s used to using stonewalling as a way to deal with differences and arguments. Some people deal with every situation with silent treatment. It’s part of his system and ignoring you is his most natural response to an adverse situation. He may not even realize it, but it’s an indicator that your husband is manipulative and uses neglect as a way to assert his control over you.
13 Things To Do When Your Husband Ignores You
What to do if your husband ignores you? How to attract a husband who ignores you? If you have been wrestling with these thoughts, your marriage certainly isn’t in the best of health. Your husband’s cold and hot behavior could be beginning to worry you and you keep looking for the reasons why a husband ignores his wife.
We hope in the reasons listed above, you’d have found the answer to, “Why does my husband ignore me?” As we said before, he could be busy with work, there could be some unresolved issues between the two of you, he might just be tired or he might have fallen out of love with you. Whatever the reason, it is never too late to mend things with your husband.
You certainly shouldn’t resign to the fate of being stuck in an unfulfilling marriage without giving your best shot to shake the status quo. Here are 13 things to do when your husband ignores you:
1. Talk to him
Communication is the key when it comes to addressing unresolved issues in a relationship or marriage. Many times, when your spouse ignores you, you too can feel the urge to give him the silent treatment. However, trying to figure out how to ignore the husband who ignores you isn’t the best approach here. The better question to ask would be, “How to attract a husband who ignores you?”
If he is ignoring you, then you need to be the one to take the first step. Letting your guard down and talking about the issues in the marriage will help you both to face the problem and come up with a solution together.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
2. Be kind to your husband when he ignores you
Even if your husband is ignoring you, it doesn’t mean that you should start thinking of a revenge plan. So, what to do when your husband ignores you? Be kind to him and show him that you care for him. You can do so by showing that you remember the little things.
He might be reluctant at first but he will slowly begin to give in. Your husband will start softening up and he can’t help but end the silent treatment. This might sound like a manipulative reverse psychology tactic, but if performed with sincerity, this could work as a boulder that smashes the wall between you guys.
3. If your husband ignores you, give him some time
Sometimes husbands tend to ignore their wives because of work or other personal matters that they don’t feel comfortable discussing at that moment. You might feel like a stranger to him at the moment but you need to be patient. When your husband ignores you, give him the benefit of the doubt and allow him time and space to bounce back from whatever it is that he is dealing with.
Your husband will eventually come around and share his feelings with you. If you notice that he is ignoring you and says that he doesn’t want to talk about it, give him some time to recover from it. He will eventually tell you when he is ready. Knowing when to engage and when to give space is perhaps the most important communication skill in relationships.
Related Reading: How To Fix Lack Of Communication In A Relationship – 15 Expert Tips
4. Don’t fight with him
Many times when your husband ignores your feelings, you feel angry and frustrated and pick a fight with him. The problem with fights between spouses is that many old unresolved issues also tend to crop up during heated arguments, which makes matters worse because you don’t know in what frame of mind your husband is in.
Instead, cool it off and then talk to him. Remember not to aggravate the situation further by picking up fights when your husband ignores you. A husband ignoring his wife is certainly not a pleasant place to be in but you have to do your best to not lose your cool or you risk pushing him away further.
5. Analyze the situation
If your husband has been ignoring you recently, then it must be something recent that has ticked him off. Think about the different events before your husband turned cold and distant, and try to identify which incident may have led him to ignore you this way. When your spouse ignores you, it is really important that you sit back and analyze the situation rather than straight-up gear up for battle.
Identifying the situation will help you tackle it better. The faster you identify the cause of his behavior, the faster you’ll be able to solve the issues between your husband and you. You can have a concrete plan for what to do when your husband ignores you only when you know what’s triggering his behavior.
6. Try to reconnect with him
If you are unable to identify which incident made your husband give you the silent treatment, let it be. Instead, try to reconnect with your husband and get him to talk to you. Sometimes, simple actions such as holding his hand and telling him that you are there for him can do wonders when it comes to reconnecting with your husband.
Finding ways to reignite the spark in your relationship and taking him on a trip down memory lane to remind him how great things were when you first got together can be a great way to win back his attention. There can be many answers to how to attract a husband who ignores you, you need to find out which one works the best with him.
7. Keep a positive outlook
When your husband ignores you, the situation may seem a bit hopeless and tense. You may have also got ideas of your husband having an affair. In such a scenario, you need to remain positive and optimistic about the situation. Negative thoughts are like a downward spiral that sometimes takes you to dark places in your head.
You never know what might be the actual cause of his behavior. If your husband is going through something bad, then you’ll need to be strong enough to help him through the phase. Being aware of the facts is a realistic approach but sometimes optimism helps you keep your composure in dire times.
8. Plan surprises for him
Sometimes connection and communication between spouses tend to take a hit after a few years of marriage. This happens because the spark wears off. When the spark wears off, as the marriage moves forwards, spouses tend to make communication mistakes with each other. When your spouse ignores you, this could be the reason.
Your husband might have gone silent at first and it has now become a habit, leading to this kind of behavior. Try new fun ways to surprise him and make him feel good. Surprise him with the things he likes and see if his face lights up with it. When he sees you putting in the effort to salvage your bond, he too will reciprocate.
9. Pay attention to his behavior
Pay more attention to your husband’s behavior. Is he ignoring you all the time or only when you bring up certain topics? Men have a tendency to ignore particular topics if they feel that it isn’t worth talking about. You might think. “My husband ignores me unless he wants something.”, while it is only the nagging that he really ignores.
Also, does he seem happy while talking to other people or does he have a serious face with them as well? If his behavior has changed only with you, then it means that whatever issue is at play here concerns you and your relationship. In case you haven’t been able to get through to him through communication and direct overtures, you may have to resort to such subtle ways to get to the root of the problem.
Related Reading: 10 Skilful Ways To Deal With An Angry Husband
10. Don’t gossip about it
When your husband ignores you, don’t gossip about his behavior with your friends. Men hate gossip, especially when it is on sensitive matters. Taking other people’s opinions might wreck the marriage. Instead, trust your own judgment about the situation. Or even better, find better ways to communicate with your husband.
Sure you may need support to get through this difficult phase but you must do so without airing your dirty laundry in public. However, if a significant amount of time has passed and you are still unable to understand the situation, it’s time to get another opinion. But not unless all your attempts at mature communication hacks have failed.
11. Bring back the spark
If your husband is ignoring you, it can also mean that everything has become dull and routine in the house. Many times, such cases make spouses more prone to having affairs. Try flirting with your spouse, it really helps a marriage. Effort in a relationship can be like a secret ingredient in a classic delicacy. It needs to be done right.
Bring back the missing spark in your marriage and reconnect with him sexually. Blow his mind with things that you both haven’t tried before. By doing so, you’ll bring back the spark and make sure that you both keep the spark going. How to attract a husband who ignores you, you ask? Here is your answer.
Related Reading: 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship
12. Try keeping a bit busy
If your husband is not paying attention to you, you need to try doing the same to him. Many times husbands take their wives for granted because they think that their wives will always be available at their beck and call. We are all hungry for attention and validation, and a cold shoulder is one of the most common ways to ask for it.
Sometimes, reverse psychology works the best with men. Keeping yourself busy and spending some time apart from your husband will make him realize your importance and he will stop ignoring you. However, don’t prolong it as he could get used to it and it can create a permanent wall between the two of you.
13. Seek counseling
If despite all your efforts, your husband is still ignoring you, it’s time to seek counseling. Most couples regret not seeking counseling at the right time because of which they end up divorced. Seeking counseling doesn’t mean that your marriage has come to an end. It only means that you both are willing to work on your marriage and fix all the unresolved issues that you both have. If you’re looking for help, skilled and licensed counselors on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.
Restoring your marriage can be a difficult task, especially when your spouse is ignoring you. You feel like a stranger in the most intimate bond. When the matter is this sensitive, don’t pick fights or complain to your partner about his behavior if you don’t know the actual reason why he is ignoring you, it will make things worse and cause a bigger rift between the two of you.
However, it is never too late. Confronting your partner and sharing your feelings with him is always the best option to solve the unresolved issues between you and your partner. Have you ever been in a situation when your husband ignored you? How did you tackle it? Share with us and other readers in the comments!