If your husband is acting cold, distant and giving you the silent treatment, it means that your husband is ignoring you. In a marriage when your husband ignores you, it is hurtful and you may feel being neglected emotionally. It is a red flag. Partners do ignore each other sometimes after a fight, sometimes to show their displeasure and sometimes just to get attention. However, if your husband has been ignoring you often or for days together, it could leave you depressed, hurt and deeply affected.
One of my friends often called me and would say, “My husband ignores me for days!“, “My husband neglects me emotionally,”, but I always told her this may be a temporary phase. After some time, she started saying things like “My husband ignores me in social situations“, or even, “My husband ignores me when I cry,” – it was then I told her that there seems to be a serious issue in your relationship.
If this issue isn’t tackled immediately, it can cause more problems in future. Your husband will grow more distant day by day and before you know it, there will be this wall between the two of you which will become impossible to break down. You both will end up in a marriage that has a dead end. Your husband will be oblivious to your needs, would be aloof and you would feel he is not concerned with you at all.
That calls for some serious thinking. You should try figuring out the reasons your husband is ignoring you.
Reasons Why A Husband Ignores His Wife
When your husband ignores you, you’d be constantly wondering why he is doing that. Like my friend once said “My husband ignores my family”, is your husband too ignoring your family? Have you asked the question why? Maybe your family looks down on him. Or your parents ignore him too. In that case he is not wrong.
If you are saying, “My husband is mad at me and won’t talk to me,” then you have to ask yourself, “Am I responsible for that?“
There are a few common reasons for which husbands ignore their wives. We write down those reasons.
- You nag him too much. You are always after him to do the chores and you get upset if things don’t go your way. He has found his coping mechanism by ignoring you
- He is a workaholic. His life revolves around the workplace and at the dinner table also he is looking at office reports. He has no time for you
- Intellectually you have not grown together. He finds it hard to converse with you because you are not interested in the things that excite him
- He is plain bored. Boredom creeps into a long-term relationship. Both of you are not working to keep the spark alive. So your husband takes the easy way out and ignores you
- You are too attached to your family, relatives or friends and your husband loathes that. So he ignores you and emotionally neglects you
- You are a spendthrift. You are always into shopping, renovating and spending his hard earned money. He ignores you to ensure that you don’t ask for more money
- He is having an affair. This might be one of the major reasons for which he is ignoring you
- He believes in stonewalling. Some people deal with every situation with silent treatment. It’s part of his system and ignoring you is his most natural response to adverse situation
13 Things To Do When Your Husband Ignores You
“My husband ignores me. My husband hardly talks to me. I feel left alone by my husband.” Do you feel this? Your husband’s cold behaviour is beginning to worry you and you keep asking yourself the reason for his behaviour.
As we said there could be several reasons for your husband to ignore you. He could be busy with work, there could be some unresolved issues between the two of you, he might just be tired or he might have fallen out of love with you. It is never too late to mend things with your husband.
Here are 13 things to do when your husband ignores you.
1. Talk to him
Communication is said to be the best key when it comes to unresolved issues in a relationship or marriage. Many times, when one partner starts ignoring the other, the other spouse to starts giving him the silent treatment.
If he is ignoring you then you need to be the one to take the first step. Letting your guard down and talking about the issues in the marriage will help you both to face the problem and come up with a solution together.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
2. Be kind to your husband when he ignores me
Even if your husband is ignoring you, it doesn’t mean that you should start thinking of a revenge plan. Instead, be kind to him and show him that you care for him. You can do so by showing that you remember the little things.
He might be reluctant at first but he will slowly begin to give in. Your husband will start softening up and he can’t help but end the silent treatment.
3. If your husband ignores you, give him some time
Sometimes husbands tend to ignore their wives because of work or other personal matters that they don’t feel comfortable to discuss at that moment. You might feel like a stranger to him at the moment but you need to be patient.
Your husband will eventually come around and share his feelings with you. If you notice that he is ignoring you and says that he doesn’t want to talk about it, give him some time to recover from it. He will eventually tell you when he is ready.
4. Don’t fight with him
Many times when your husband goes silent and starts ignoring you, you feel angry and frustrated and pick a fight with him. The problem about fights with spouses is that once you begin fighting with him, many old unresolved issues also tend to crop up which makes matters worse because you don’t know in what frame of mind your husband is in.
Instead, cool it off and then talk to him. Remember not to aggravate the matters further by picking up fights when your husband ignores you.
5. Analyze the situation
If your husband has been ignoring you recently, then it must be something recent that must have ticked him off. Think about the different events that happened before that and try to identify which incident made him ignore you this way.
Identifying the situation will help you tackle it better. The faster you identify the cause of his behavior, the faster you’ll be able to solve the issues between your husband and you.
6. Try to reconnect with him
If you are unable to identify which instance made your husband give you the silent treatment, let it be. Instead, try to reconnect with your husband and get him to talk to you.
Sometimes, simple actions such as holding his hand and telling him that you are there for him do wonders when it comes to reconnecting with your husband.
7. Try to stay positive
If your husband is ignoring you, the situation may be a bit dull and tense. You may have also got ideas of your husband having an affair. In such a scenario, you need to remain positive and be optimistic about the situation.
You never know what might be the actual cause of his behaviour. If your husband is going through something bad then you’ll need to be strong enough to help him through the phase.
8. Try to surprise him
Sometimes spouses tend to get silent after a few years of the marriage. This happens because of the spark that wears off. When the spark wears off, as the marriage moves forwards, spouses tend to communicate lesser with each other.
Your husband might have got silent at first and it has now become a habit, leading to this kind of behaviour.
Try new fun ways to surprise him and make him feel good. Surprise him with the things he likes and see if his face lights up with it.
9. Try to pay attention to his behaviour
Pay more attention to your husband’s behaviour. Is he ignoring you all the time or only when you bring up certain topics? Men have a tendency to ignore particular topics if they feel that it isn’t worth talking about.
Also, does he seem happy while talking to other people or does he have a serious face with them as well? If it’s only with you then it means that the matter is related to you.
10. Don’t gossip about it
In the initial phases of your husband’s behaviour, don’t gossip about his behaviour with your friends. Men hate gossip, especially when it is on a sensitive matter. Taking other people’s opinions might wreck the marriage. Instead, trust your own judgment about the situation.
However, if a significant amount of time has passed and you are still unable to understand the situation, it’s time to get another opinion.
Related Reading: 10 Skilful Ways To Deal With An Angry Husband
11. Bring back the spark
If your husband is ignoring you, it can also mean that everything has become dull and routine in the house. Try flirting with your spouse, it really helps a marriage. Many times, such cases make spouses more prone to having affairs.
Bring back the missing spark in your marriage and reconnect with him sexually. Blow his mind with things that you both haven’t tried before. By doing so, you’ll bring back the spark and make sure that you both keep the spark going.
12. Try keeping a bit busy
If your husband is not paying attention to you, you need to try doing the same to him. Many times husbands take their wives for granted because they think that their wives will always be available at their beck and call.
Keeping yourself busy and spending some time apart from your husband will make him realize your importance and he will stop ignoring you. However, don’t prolong it as he could get used to it and it can create a permanent wall between the two of you.
13. Seek counselling
If despite all your efforts, your husband is still ignoring you, it’s time to seek counselling. Most couples regret not seeking counselling at the right time because of which they end up divorced. Seeking counselling doesn’t mean that your marriage has come to an end.
It only means that you both are willing to work on your marriage and fix all the unresolved issues that you both have.
Restoring your marriage can be a difficult task, especially when your spouse is ignoring you. You feel like a stranger in front of him. When the matter is this sensitive, don’t pick fights or complain to your partner about his behaviour if you don’t know the actual reason why he is ignoring you, it will make things worse and create a bigger rift between the two of you.
However, it is never too late. Confronting your partner and sharing your feelings with him is always the best option to solve the unresolved issues between you and your partner.
How you ever been in a situation when your husband ignored you? How did you tackle it? Share with us and other readers in the comments!