If your husband is acting cold, distant and giving you the silent treatment, it means that your husband is ignoring you. In a marriage when your husband ignores you, it is hurtful and you may feel being neglected emotionally. It is a red flag. Partners do ignore each other sometimes after a fight, sometimes to show their displeasure and sometimes just to get attention. However, if your husband has been ignoring you often or for days together, it could leave you depressed, hurt and deeply affected.
One of my friends often called me and would say, “My husband ignores me for days.” or “My husband neglects me emotionally.” I always told her this may be a temporary phase. After some time, she started saying things like “My husband ignores me in social situations.” or “My husband ignores me when I cry.” It was then I told her that there seems to be a serious issue in your relationship.
If this issue isn’t tackled immediately, it can cause more problems in the future. Your husband will grow more distant day by day and before you know it, there will be this wall between the two of you that will become impossible to break down. You both will end up in a marriage that has reached a dead end.
When your husband ignores you, chances are he will be oblivious to your needs, would be aloof and you would feel he is not concerned with you at all. That calls for some serious thinking. You should try figuring out the reasons your husband is ignoring you.
8 Reasons Why A Husband Ignores His Wife
When your husband ignores you, you’d be constantly wondering why he is doing that. Like my friend once said, “My husband ignores my family.” Is your husband too ignoring your family? Have you asked the question why? Maybe your family looks down on him. Or your parents ignore him too. In that case, he is not wrong.
If you are saying, “My husband is mad at me and won’t talk to me”, then you have to ask yourself, “Am I responsible for that?” There are a few common reasons for which husbands ignore their wives. Let’s explore some of the top reasons why a husband ignores his wife:
1. A tendency to nag
“Why does my husband ignore me?” If that question has been on your mind a lot, a little introspection could be a good place to start. Pay attention to how you behave around him? Are you being the quintessential nagging wife? If you’re always after him to do the chores and get upset if things don’t go your way, it’s possible that ignoring you is his coping mechanism.
2. He’s wedded to his work
A husband ignoring his wife because he is consumed by ambition and a passion to excel in his professional life is not uncommon. If your husband is a workaholic, it’s only natural that you won’t rank at the top of his priority list. His life revolves around the workplace. He often stays late at work and brings it home too. He’d be looking at office reports or making phone calls at the dinner table too, and there is just no time for you to connect with him.
3. Lack of intellectual intimacy
Of the different types of intimacy in a relationship, intellectual intimacy is often among the most underrated. However, if you have not grown together intellectually, the marriage can become rife with the risk of spouses growing out of sync with each other. Perhaps, he finds it hard to converse with you because you are not interested in the things that excite him.
4. Boredom in the relationship
Boredom creeps into a long-term relationship more often than not. If both of you are not working to keep the spark alive, that boredom can continue to mount, turning into a wall of ice that keeps you apart. One of the reasons why a husband ignores his wife is that he is plain bored. So your husband takes the easy way out and ignores you.
5. Family interference is among the reasons why a husband ignores his wife
Yes, family is an important part of life and can be a great source of support during difficult times. However, once you’re married, it’s important to realize that you have your own life that is separate from that of your parents or siblings. Being too attached to your family, relatives or friends, or encouraging their interference in your married life can also push your husband away. Perhaps, he loathes it, and so he ignores you and emotionally neglects you.
6. Financial conflict may lead to the husband ignoring wife
When your husband ignores you, there is invariably some or the other underlying issue at play. One such issue could be financial conflict in your marriage. Money can become a seriously contentious issue if both partners are not on the same page about spending and saving habits. If you are a spendthrift and always talking shopping, renovating and buying new things, and he wants to save for the sake of a secure future, then these divergent views on money could be one of the reasons why a husband ignores his wife.
7. Why does my husband ignore me? Infidelity to blame
“Why does my husband ignore me and act like I just don’t matter to him?” One of the possible explanations behind this cold and distant behavior could be that he is having an affair. Perhaps, the guilt of cheating gets in the way of him engaging with you emotionally. Or maybe he has fallen in love with the other woman and is staying in the marriage owing to compulsions such as children or societal pressure.
8. When your husband ignores you, he could be manipulative
When your husband ignores you, it could be because he’s used to using stonewalling as a way to deal with differences and arguments. Some people deal with every situation with silent treatment. It’s part of his system and ignoring you is his most natural response to an adverse situation. He may not even realize it, but it’s an indicator that your husband is manipulative and uses neglect as a way to assert his control over you.
Related Reading: 18 Top Unhappy Marriage Signs You Need To Know
13 Things To Do When Your Husband Ignores You
“My husband ignores me. My husband hardly talks to me. I feel left alone by my husband.” If you have been wrestling with these thoughts, your marriage certainly isn’t in the best of health. Your husband’s cold behavior could be beginning to worry you and you keep looking for the reasons why a husband ignores his wife.
We hope in the reasons listed above, you’d have found the answer to ‘why does my husband ignore me’. As we said before, he could be busy with work, there could be some unresolved issues between the two of you, he might just be tired or he might have fallen out of love with you. Whatever be the reason, it is never too late to mend things with your husband.
You certainly shouldn’t resign to the fate of being stuck in an unfulfilling marriage without giving your best shot to shake the status quo. Here are 13 things to do when your husband ignores you:
1. Talk to him
Communication is said to be the best key when it comes to unresolved issues in a relationship or marriage. Many times, when one partner starts ignoring the other, the other spouse starts giving him the silent treatment. However, trying to figure out how to ignore the husband who ignores you isn’t the best approach here.
If he is ignoring you then you need to be the one to take the first step. Letting your guard down and talking about the issues in the marriage will help you both to face the problem and come up with a solution together.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
2. Be kind to your husband when he ignores me
Even if your husband is ignoring you, it doesn’t mean that you should start thinking of a revenge plan. So, what to do when your husband ignores you? Be kind to him and show him that you care for him. You can do so by showing that you remember the little things.
He might be reluctant at first but he will slowly begin to give in. Your husband will start softening up and he can’t help but end the silent treatment.
3. If your husband ignores you, give him some time
Sometimes husbands tend to ignore their wives because of work or other personal matters that they don’t feel comfortable discussing at that moment. You might feel like a stranger to him at the moment but you need to be patient. When your husband ignores you, give him the benefit of doubt and allow him time and space to bounce back from whatever it is that he is dealing with.
Your husband will eventually come around and share his feelings with you. If you notice that he is ignoring you and says that he doesn’t want to talk about it, give him some time to recover from it. He will eventually tell you when he is ready.
4. Don’t fight with him
Many times when your husband goes silent and starts ignoring you, you feel angry and frustrated and pick a fight with him. The problem with fights with spouses is that many old unresolved issues also tend to crop up during heated arguments, which makes matters worse because you don’t know in what frame of mind your husband is in.
Instead, cool it off and then talk to him. Remember not to aggravate the situation further by picking up fights when your husband ignores you. A husband ignoring his wife is certainly not a pleasant place to be in but you have to do your best to not lose your cool or you risk pushing him away further.
5. Analyze the situation
If your husband has been ignoring you recently, then it must be something recent that must have ticked him off. Think about the different events that happened before that and try to identify which incident made him ignore you this way.
Identifying the situation will help you tackle it better. The faster you identify the cause of his behavior, the faster you’ll be able to solve the issues between your husband and you. You can have a concrete plan for what to do when your husband ignores you only when you know what’s triggering his behavior.
6. Try to reconnect with him
If you are unable to identify which instance made your husband give you the silent treatment, let it be. Instead, try to reconnect with your husband and get him to talk to you. Sometimes, simple actions such as holding his hand and telling him that you are there for him do wonders when it comes to reconnecting with your husband.
Finding ways to reignite the spark in your relationship and taking him on a trip down memory lane to remind him how great things were when you first got together can be a great way to win back his attention.
7. Keep a positive outlook
If your husband is ignoring you, the situation may be a bit dull and tense. You may have also got ideas of your husband having an affair. In such a scenario, you need to remain positive and be optimistic about the situation.
You never know what might be the actual cause of his behavior. If your husband is going through something bad then you’ll need to be strong enough to help him through the phase.
8. Plan surprises for him
Sometimes connection and communication between spouses tend to take a hit after a few years of marriage. This happens because of the spark that wears off. When the spark wears off, as the marriage moves forwards, spouses tend to communicate less with each other.
Your husband might have got silent at first and it has now become a habit, leading to this kind of behavior. Try new fun ways to surprise him and make him feel good. Surprise him with the things he likes and see if his face lights up with it. When he sees you putting in the effort to salvage your bond, he too will reciprocate.
9. Pay attention to his behavior
Pay more attention to your husband’s behavior. Is he ignoring you all the time or only when you bring up certain topics? Men have a tendency to ignore particular topics if they feel that it isn’t worth talking about.
Also, does he seem happy while talking to other people or does he have a serious face with them as well? If it’s only with you, then it means that the matter is related to you. In case you haven’t been able to get through to him through communication and direct overtures, you may have to resort to such subtle ways to get to the root of the problem.
Related Reading: 10 Skilful Ways To Deal With An Angry Husband
10. Don’t gossip about it
When your husband ignores you, don’t gossip about his behavior with your friends. Men hate gossip, especially when it is on sensitive matters. Taking other people’s opinions might wreck the marriage. Instead, trust your own judgment about the situation.
Sure you may need support to get through this difficult phase, but you must do so without airing your dirty laundry in public. However, if a significant amount of time has passed and you are still unable to understand the situation, it’s time to get another opinion.
11. Bring back the spark
If your husband is ignoring you, it can also mean that everything has become dull and routine in the house. Try flirting with your spouse, it really helps a marriage. Many times, such cases make spouses more prone to having affairs.
Bring back the missing spark in your marriage and reconnect with him sexually. Blow his mind with things that you both haven’t tried before. By doing so, you’ll bring back the spark and make sure that you both keep the spark going.
12. Try keeping a bit busy
If your husband is not paying attention to you, you need to try doing the same to him. Many times husbands take their wives for granted because they think that their wives will always be available at their beck and call.
Keeping yourself busy and spending some time apart from your husband will make him realize your importance and he will stop ignoring you. However, don’t prolong it as he could get used to it and it can create a permanent wall between the two of you.
13. Seek counseling
If despite all your efforts, your husband is still ignoring you, it’s time to seek counseling. Most couples regret not seeking counseling at the right time because of which they end up divorced. Seeking counseling doesn’t mean that your marriage has come to an end. It only means that you both are willing to work on your marriage and fix all the unresolved issues that you both have.
Restoring your marriage can be a difficult task, especially when your spouse is ignoring you. You feel like a stranger in front of him. When the matter is this sensitive, don’t pick fights or complain to your partner about his behavior if you don’t know the actual reason why he is ignoring you, it will make things worse and create a bigger rift between the two of you.
However, it is never too late. Confronting your partner and sharing your feelings with him is always the best option to solve the unresolved issues between you and your partner. Have you ever been in a situation when your husband ignored you? How did you tackle it? Share with us and other readers in the comments!