Jantar Mantar Tantar: Tantric sex for beginners

What is Tantric sex?

Already much has been said about the act of sex; much has been said about passion, love and lust. Though beginners in this activity rarely think of Tantric sex, it is great if you do explore this ancient method of making love. So what is Tantric sex? Tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice that has been going strong for over 5,000 years, and means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy’.

It is likened to the flow and ebb of tides in the oceans. It’s a slow form of sex that’s said to increase intimacy and create a mind-body connection that can lead to powerful orgasms. Tantric experts believe that if you prolong the time and effort you put into sex, you will reach a higher and more intense form of ecstasy. And it apparently works, because celebs such as Tom Hanks and Sting have said how great it is. In fact, Sting’s wife Trudie Styler once famously boasted that her husband could make love for more than 5 hours at a time!

The legend

Legend has it that Lord Shiva, the god known for his weed smoking habits invented Tantric Sex along with his wife Goddess Parvati, in order to teach humans to achieve spiritual enlightenment and Moksha through the act of sex.

In 1952, Dr. Kinsey began his pioneering research, which has shown that 1 in 10 women never orgasm at all; 4 out of 10 women reach their first orgasm through masturbation. An orgasm with a partner during penetrative sex is actually more challenging unlike what’s shown in films and novels; and it requires techniques that often need to be learned.

Tantric sex – or Tantra as it’s often known – can be done by everyone interested in enriching their sex life and finding new dimensions in their love-making. If that seems baffling, think of it this way – if quickie sex is the sexual equivalent of a takeaway, tantric sex is a Michelin-starred meal, slowly and lovingly prepared and all the more delicious, thanks to the wait. To some folks Tantric sex comes naturally, they are less stressed out and are free-flowing.

I have been told this by consumers of magical plants, that in the mists of easy bliss brought about by the muscle relaxant properties of the narcotic, they actually indulge in Tantric sex.

It’s a variation to the usual sexual act

Let us explore the steps to perform Tantric sex -Tantric sex isn’t ‘target oriented’, which means you don’t have to work hard at learning what to do.

In order to delay orgasm, Tantric sex experts use a variety of methods including meditative techniques, breath control, and massage.

Read more: Ancient Indian Heritage: Connecting with our sensual past

Here is a gist of what you need to do

Start by setting the environment – to suit your aesthetic style which in turn means dim the lights and shut out the rest of the world.

1. Relax your body

Tantra is about moving energy through the body, so expert Louise Van Der Velde suggests ‘shaking your limbs vigorously to energise and unblock your system before you start’.

2. Get off the bed

The bed is usually used to sleep hence we do not start with this piece of furniture. Lying on the bed triggers the sleep button in your brain, which, according to Louise ‘means you’ll be settling for a quickie frolic instead of deep connection and loving sex, which is ultimately what Tantra is all about.’

3. Slowly get comfortable

The key is the pace, do every thing at leisure with no stress on reaching anywhere. Lie down with your companion on the floor and gently start touching each other, taking your time to leisurely make your way around their body.

4. Explore the sense of touch

Try an array of touches – firm massage, light feathery touches, and gentle stroking. The aim here is to intensify his senses in a slow and deep way so that you’re building him to a peak but not taking him all the way. Done in the right way this can extend your gratification for hours.

5. Breathe

The mind is a wanderer and if you find your mind starts to meander, re-focus on your breathing. Inhale as your partner exhales and vice versa – it can help improve the connection between the two of you and keep your mind on what’s happening.

6. Keep at it

It’s all about perseverance. If you don’t last beyond 10 minutes, try again. Tantric sex takes time to get under your skin, because we’re all used to sex in a western way – this means we expect sex to have an obvious start, middle and end.

With enough practice and diligence, two loving people can spend hours together with the thoughts of pleasuring the other and continue through the night – all night long!