The phrase ‘Age is just a number’ sounds too clichéd when it comes to marriage and its realities. This phrase just sounds good when you are seeking a casual fling. Along with compatibility, factors such as age difference also play a big role when you think about tying the knot. You may see celebrities with huge age gaps with a successful marriage, but do you think you could be one of them?
You ask how much age difference is acceptable. Is it 2,7, 10 or 20 years? What is the ideal age difference for a couple to lead a successful life?
Well, different age gaps work for different types of couples depending on their priorities and what they seek in marriage. According to a study conducted at Emory University, Atlanta, the USA, the bigger the age difference, the higher are the chances of separation. In India, marriages with a big age gap are a rare but possible phenomenon. So what is the ideal difference for marriages in India? Let us see marriages with different age gaps and the surprises they bring.
7-year age difference marriages
While some say that the bigger the age differences the bigger are the chances of separation, many say that the ideal age difference for marriage should be 6-7 years. Same age people usually suffer from ego clashes and tend to have more fights than couples with bigger age gaps. Because of belonging to the same generation, they respond to situations in the same manner and expect the other one to give in. In that case, the age gap is good for marriage but how much age gap is good for marriage?
There is a lack of maturity and a great amount of childishness involved when you marry someone of your age. It is said that the mentality and thinking of a person change every three years, because of which, couples are more prone to have a stable and healthy marriage with an age gap of 6-7 years. There is greater understanding and compatibility as compared to when you marry someone of the same age as you. This is probably the best age gap in marriage.
Related reading: Is the 7-year itch in a relationship real?
10-year age difference marriage
A 10-year age gap could be stretching it a bit, but just not that much. A 10-year age gap comes with its own set of pros and cons. The answer to this situation lies in the age of the younger partner then. For a 22-year-old woman to marry a 32-year-old man, there could be many issues concerning priorities and ideals in life. A 22-year-old woman is still isn’t mature enough and gets married seeking fantasy and lots of pampering from her partner. Her partner thought has come out of that phase and has gained more maturity, because of which he lives life more practically and realistically. In such a case, both partners have different ideas and expectations from the marriage and face major compatibility issues later on.
In a 10-year age gap, it all comes down to compatibility. Many people get more mature than their age, because of which they get attracted to partners who are much older than them. In this case, a marriage between them works because they are compatible in terms of maturity. This is a good age gap for a marriage.
They can connect because they share a similar way of perceiving things.
Related reading: Age is no barrier when you fall in love
20-year age difference marriage
When age gaps are this huge, marriages become stressful. Such marriages usually have a short span. In the beginning, you might be living your fantasy, because ‘love is blind’. But when time passes and reality kicks in, you realise what you have got yourself into. Just because you find a spark between the two of you, it doesn’t mean that you both are compatible. The spark may just be a sign of sexual tension between the two of you which will soon wear out with time. Both partners in a 20-year age gap belong to completely different generations and have seen life differently. But it’s not rare that partners don’t click despite a huge age gap.
When it comes to deciding on something, you both will never give the same answer because of different tastes and choices from living in two different generations.
With such a huge age gap, the older partner tends to start dominating the younger partner. You will start to feel as if you have got another father now. There will always be issues in terms of compatibility and priorities. Reality will hit hard with time when your older partner starts ageing and he will look ‘old’.
Reality will hit hard when you realise that your partner is actually like your daddy.
Facts on age gap marriage success
The relationship age gap rule is not definite and age becomes just a number when both partners are compatible and share a level of understanding. There have been many instances where large age gap marriages have turned out to be successful. Studies have found partners with more than a 10-year gap in age experience social disapproval. When it comes to our relationships, both men and women prefer someone their age but are open to someone 10-15 years their junior or senior. Statistics also show that couples who do manage to make it past the two-year mark, no matter what the age gap, are approximately 43% less likely to split up.
The key to a successful age-gap marriage is based on factors other than age. While thinking about marriage, you need to check compatibility, understanding, similar lifestyles and tastes. Lifestyle plays a major role when it comes to age-gap marriages because when you have issues because of different ways of living, you usually tend to blame it on the age-gap when it is totally because of another issue. Common factors make the transition easier when you are marrying someone way older than you. Marriage is a permanent affair and before you get married to someone older than you make sure you understand what you are getting into. It’s your call.