When you hand everything on a silver platter to your beau, he might take you for granted. Sooner or later, you will realize that you let him have the upper hand in most cases and he no longer makes any effort to please or woo you. When your partner grows complacent in the relationship, you know it is time for you to brush up your skills on how to make him regret taking you for granted.
If you are the only one making an effort in the relationship, it’s time to take a step back and let your partner realize that you cannot sustain this bond single-handedly. If you don’t, resentment will begin to seep into your relationship. And soon you may find yourself telling your bestie, “He took me for granted, so I left him!” To prevent that from happening, you need to break this unhealthy pattern before it gets the better of your partnership. One way of doing that is to make him feel guilty for ignoring you through text or in real life.
In the past, a man’s job was to be the sole breadwinner of the family while a woman was supposed to manage the home. Today, the dynamics have changed and there is greater equality in couple relationships. You and your significant other are meant to be partners in true earnest, and that entails sharing the emotional, physical, and logistical labor of keeping a relationship afloat. If your partner cannot see that on his own, it may be time to take the matter into your hands. If need be, don’t hesitate to walk away from someone who takes you for granted. But before it comes to that, let’s see what you can do to remedy the situation.
If He Is Taking You For Granted, This Is What You Should Do…
Sometimes as a relationship progresses and a person becomes (too) comfortable with their partner, they stop making an effort. Love and romance get thrown out of the window as the partners get a tad too smug in the relationship. Girl, with your love boat disappearing over the horizon, you should know what to do when he takes you for granted.
In case your man forgets your birthday or anniversary, doesn’t take you on dates, doesn’t make time for you or doesn’t share the load, it’s clear as day that you’re being taken for granted in your relationship. The question now is, how do you deal with this? When your partner or spouse takes you for granted, it’s imperative to handle the situation tactfully. And that’s why we are here with a go-to guide for you on how to treat a husband who takes you for granted.
1. Confront him
Sometimes we think passive aggression will make the other person realize that they are in the wrong. But, this approach is flawed and immature. Instead, sit him down and tell him that you are disappointed and want him to make amends if he wants to save the relationship.
Make him understand that you have put up enough with him slacking and it’s time he pulled up his socks. He better get going with romantic date nights, meaningful conversations, and fun couple activities. A boring and monotonous relationship is doing no good to either of you. To get things straight, ask your man to work on the relationship wholeheartedly, lest it gets stagnant and stifling.
A couple of things you can (and should) try are:
- Be more assertive while expressing yourself
- Let your partner know your expectations from the relationship
- Have an honest conversation about how you feel about the relationship
- Discuss and mutually agree on things you can do to improve and strengthen your relationship
2. Don’t let go of your dignity
Chin up! Since you are not the one who is at fault here, there’s no reason for you to constantly beg and plead for his attention. Don’t be a doormat and do things his way, thinking it would make him turn over a new leaf. Stop doing things you usually did for him and which he took for granted. On being confronted, you can simply tell him the reason behind your behavior, asking him to mend his ways.
This might be counterintuitive and things might still be the same i.e. he may continue taking you for granted and be indifferent to your needs. He may behave as if he has checked out of the marriage emotionally. If he continues with the same old patterns despite pushback from you, you know you always have the choice to walk away from someone who takes you for granted. End your toxic relationship with dignity.
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3. Go no contact
If begging and pleading for his attention have yielded no results, then it’s time to go no contact. Start by getting another place or request him to take accommodation elsewhere. It is payback time – when he takes you for granted, ignore him. If you don’t want to try something as drastic as moving out or snapping all contact just yet, here are a few other things you can try:
- Don’t be too readily available for him
- Don’t answer his calls instantly
- Take time in replying to his texts
- Play hard to get
- Ditch that itch to share everything with him
- Cut down on the time your spend with him
- Make him worry that he might lose you
Chances are that he will pick up the hints and get a taste of his own medicine. Put your foot down firmly to make him feel guilty for ignoring you. When he sees that you are adamant and not willing to give in, the growing distance between you two may make him yearn for you. He may show up with flowers and an apology note to win you over. And you will know you have learned how to make him regret taking you for granted.
Related Reading: 13 Ways To Make Him Realize Your Worth
4. Concentrate on your work and hobbies
When a man takes you for granted, your best recourse is to stop being available to him 24/7. When he sees you not paying attention to him, day in and day out, and prioritizing your work and hobbies instead, he may get all riled up. This can put him on a path of introspection or at the very least, he will come to you for answers. When he does, it’s your chance to tell him that’s exactly how you’ve been feeling in the relationship.
Making yourself available to him 24/7 might be the cause of the increasing complacency in the relationship. It is natural for anyone to overlook and berate something that is readily available to them. Being divested of your focus and attention, he will realize your significance in his life. That’s your chance to show him how hurt and disappointed you have been due to his neglectful ways. So when a man ignores you and takes you for granted, here’s what you can do:
- Be the reason for your own happiness
- Indulge in your hobbies
- Take yourself out on dates and pamper yourself
- Go on solo travels
- Make good use of me-time
- Up your skills and enroll in classes or courses you always wanted to pursue
- Put your work, happiness, and sanity above everything else
You know how to make him regret taking you for granted. By stripping him of all the importance you have given him and redirecting it to yourself. Your man is sure to be unnerved by this sudden jolt.
Related Reading: 25 Most Common Relationship Problems
5. Avoid having sex with him
Most men love sex. So, if the healthier ways to make him realize that his taking you for granted has been affecting you negatively have not worked out, you can try to get the message across by withholding sex. Start making excuses to avoid intimacy. He is bound to notice that something is amiss. If he is a man-child, he may express his frustration by picking a fight with you. If he is the mature kind, he would want to have a conversation with you. Either way, it is going to make him feel guilty for ignoring you. When you try this approach, keep a few things in mind:
- Be firm in your approach. Don’t give in to his cutesy, “Boo, I want you!”
- He might try to win you over with sweet gestures that you know are one-off things. Avoid falling into his trap
- Steer clear of all his advances and turn him off instead
- Learn to say ‘No’
If you are not ready to break up with him to teach him a lesson, make him understand that you have your say in the relationship. Utilize his advances as an opportunity to tell him that you are no longer interested in having sex with him because you feel like you are taken for granted.
6. Walk out on him
If you are the vindictive type and have had enough of your partner mistreating you, maybe it’s time to show him what he has been missing out on. Show him that you are enough on your own and being with him is your choice, not your necessity. How to treat a husband who takes you for granted? Walk out on him! You can end the relationship on good terms or pull the plug single-handedly, depending on your circumstances.
One of our readers, Julia, a 35-year-old teacher, shares her experience, “My partner, Rob, was withdrawing from our relationship in a way that was too unsettling. He started taking me for granted, thinking I have nowhere to go! There was no appreciation, no love, and absolutely no effort in our relationship. After trying my best to get through to him but to no avail, I told myself I have to break up with him to teach him a lesson. He took me for granted so I left him, and for the better!”
How To Teach Him A Lesson When He Takes You For Granted
You must have heard the saying “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”. So when your relationship throws lemons at you, make lemonade out of it. Teach your partner a lesson and let him see you as the queen that you are – to be loved, appreciated, and venerated. How to make him regret taking you for granted? Here are a few simple ways:
- Avoid being a clingy girlfriend or wife
- Devote time to yourself
- Revive your social life
- Show him you can do just fine without him
- When he takes you for granted, ignore him
- Make him feel guilty for ignoring you through text
- Break up with him to teach him a lesson
- Spend more time with your family and friends
- Stop making all the effort in your relationship
- Remove yourself physically from his life
- Lastly, (but most importantly) love yourself
- Try to get your partner to understand your expectations and express your dissatisfaction with his neglectful ways
- Start ignoring him, reciprocating the behavior meted out to you
- Devoid him of your attention, love, and care, and redirect them to yourself instead
- Spend time with your friends and family to find happiness outside your relationship
Being taken for granted in a relationship is common. Even though it is intimidating and frustrating, take your time before you walk away from someone who takes you for granted. Everyone deserves a second chance. Try to talk it out with your partner. Express your expectations in the relationship. Perhaps, he will be able to comprehend the wrongdoings and be motivated to work on the relationship.
The time and space that you spend apart might make your partner miss you and make him realize that he has not been doing enough to keep you happy. But, for this to work, you have to remain strong-willed. Don’t be the first one to initiate contact once you decide to make him feel guilty for ignoring you through text or check in on him after being radio silent for 24 hours.
Focus on quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. If he is confused about what to do to get that spark back, guide him and tell him what would make you happy in the relationship.
If nothing – silence, fights, rules, begging, pleading, and couples therapy – works, then it’s time to put an end to the relationship. Also, if he listens to you for a few days and then falls back into his old patterns, and if this keeps on recurring, then woman, pack your bags and don’t come back.