Is shyness in a man a turn-off?

Sohini Sengupta

Men men men men, manly men men men!

We have for years been taught to get attracted to men. Yes, and I mean the world beyond the anatomy. It is the world of men who are robust in their approach. It is the man who is supposed to make the calcium-deficient women go weak in the knees. It is not a character trait but a gender characteristic to be the smooth-talking stranger in the rulebook of romance. Away from these dictums, let us find out what is the fate of the shy men – the introverts, the emasculated blushing prince.

Not everybody is as forward in the daunting and scary world of dating where each move is censured, every gesture measured and interpreted. Some come with a natural aptitude for it; others keep up with the trend. But what about those odd ones that refuse to confirm or change the essential introversion? Do they turn us women off? Well, it is a big responsibility, and a risky one too, to take up the collective mouthpiece and say no. Oh, I am sorry to break your stereotype in such a blunt blow! But the truth is that not really, a shy man is not a turn-off at all. Let us find the two troubles women face with a shy man and the two kicks we get out of them.

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Yay #1:They are generally very sensitive people.

The shy or the introverted feel easily affected by the outer world and hence likes to shrink up in their cocoon. In my experience, the shy one has had an impressionable childhood and is a man of ready empathy, which is quite the rarity to find in human nature. They have vulnerabilities that they are not afraid to display by uninhibited shyness that he could have easily covered up by talking big and loud. It is needless to say that this sensitivity is carried under the sheets as well; we are not complaining!

Nay #1: Hard to break in.

Sometimes the shyness can look like disinterest or even pride. It can become a rather tough project to try to peel off the layers of inhibition around our shy man. Often times it is interpreted as off-putting, but indeed is a hard challenge we do not always have the energy for. How much effort can you put behind knowing a man when the past 108 times it has only ended in disappointment? So, unfortunately, because of the bad reputation, shy men become a task not everybody is willing to take up.

Yay #2: They have a lovely world around them.

The shy man has had spent years trying to hide in his own space. When he lets you in his world it is a wondrous collection of hobbies, interests and definite quirks. Not only that, but their sexuality not being on display through their open behaviour is harboured in the wraps of his world. He is a man of surprises. When he is ready to let you in his world you will realise that unlike many others out there, his world is enough to keep him sated. The shy ones keep their thoughts well stocked so they do not have to borrow from the outside world and keep outward interaction to the minimum.

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Nay #2:What lies beneath?

It is like slowly getting acquainted with the real person under the layers of shy walls. What if he is a dormant patriarch? What if he is the unassuming toxic masculinity that you have been avoiding like the plague? What if he really is an axe murderer? It can be a little testing to figure out the puzzle before coming to conclusions about taking the man to bed and beyond. It is great to be surprised by someone as you venture into his world, but with the lack of space to second guess, there is always a risk of getting a shock rather than being amazed. The anxiety of an unknown spin is a setback for the shy ones.

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1 comment

Shriyaa Trivedi January 25, 2018 - 8:07 pm

Irrespective of the gender, if you are drawn to a shy person, you need to patiently await the moment they feel confident enough to trust themselves with you. They may learn to trust you sooner than they can trust their own feelings when they are around you. When they finally feel comfortable enough, it’ll be worth all the wait.

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