Is Being Shy A Turn Off In A Man?

Dating experience | | , Writer & Editor
Updated On: October 27, 2021

Every personality comes with its share of pros and cons. Extroverts, for instance, have a way with people but their forever effervescent persona can become too in your face sometimes. Similarly, being shy or an introvert too has its advantages and disadvantages. When a shy person counts their disadvantages, their struggle with dating is one of them. Dating on its own is hard. Add into the mix a constant unease with social interactions and the question ‘is being shy a turn off’ weighing on your mind, and you pretty much have a recipe for disaster.

So, what is the equation between shyness and dating? Do girls get turned off when a guy is shy? Let’s find out.

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Is Being Shy A Turn Off in Men?

Girls, is men being shy a turn off really? Well, by mixing shyness and dating you get a bit of a mixed bag. It’s neither all good nor all bad, even though the negatives tend to outweigh the positives by a whisker.

Let’s look at some of the biggest Yeas and Nays of dating a shy guy:

Dating a shy guy – Yeas

Is being shy a turnoff? These benefits of being with one tell a different story:

Yea #1: They are sensitive

Is shyness really the biggest turnoffs in guys? Well, not if you can see how this personality trait lends a soft side to them. They are men of empathy, which is quite the rarity to find. Yes, they have their vulnerabilities and are too afraid to show them to the world, which is why they recede into this cocoon in the first place. But as you unravel those closed up layers and meet the real person behind the introverted persona, be prepared to be blown away. Needless to say that this sensitivity shines through between the sheets as well. We are not complaining!

Yea #2: They are full of surprises

A shy man spends years trying to hide in his own space and turns it into a haven with a collection of hobbies, interests and definite quirks. Dating a shy guy gives you a window into this world of warmth and wonder. As you discover that this man is full of surprises, you’ll truly be left wondering: is being shy a turn off at all?

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Yea #3: They are the best listeners

They are the best listeners
They are the best listeners

Girls, is men being shy a turnoff? You may want to think this through because dating a shy guy means having a partner who will listen to you intently, without losing focus or interrupting your sentences mid-way. Since shy men aren’t the most talkative, they are happy to let you fill the silences.

#Yea 4: You won’t have to put up with bragging

If you think shyness is one of the biggest turnoffs in guys, think of that date where the man couldn’t stop talking about himself. We have all been on at least one date with these ‘Me, Myself and I’ kinds of guys, and can agree that they’re insufferable. A shy guy, on the other hand, is as far removed from the idea of blowing his own trumpet as can be. Putting up with consistent bragging is the last thing you’ll have to worry about.

#Yea 5: They give the best advice

They give the best advice
They give the best advice

Another thing that works in favour of shy guys is that their personality allows them to soak up experiences from all around. This means, their world view is eclectic and expansive. Dating a shy guy means you’ll have a partner who is level-headed, and capable of offering some valuable life advice when you need it.

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Dating a shy guy – Nays

Combining shyness and dating does throw up its own set of challenges too:

Nay #1: Hard to get through to them

Do girls get turned off when a guy is shy? Yes, oftentimes that’s because an introverted person can come across as uninterested or even arrogant. Even if you do look past this exterior, trying to navigate your way around these layers of inhibition means you have your work cut out for you. This can get exhausting and overwhelming for most women.

Nay #2: They rarely contribute to conversations

Having someone who listens to you patiently is great when you’re already in a relationship. But to get there, you first have to know each other well. That’s where an introvert personality can be one of the biggest turnoffs in guys because they rarely have anything to contribute to conversations. It’s not that they don’t want to, but their mind genuinely draws a blank when they try to make small talk to break the ice.

They rarely contribute to conversations
They rarely contribute to conversations

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Nay #3: They’re passive in planning

Why is being shy a turnoff in men? Primarily because they leave you feeling like the onus of planning dates and outing is squarely on you. Until they become comfortable around you, they will not propose even a single plan for you both to get together. That wait can be excruciatingly long and off-putting.

Nay #4: They cannot flirt

A little playful flirting. A comment here, a wink there. These little gestures that send butterflies fluttering in your tummy are essential for the thawing of ice and warming up of hearts. Shy men, however, are absolutely incapable of flirting. This can make those initial days of dating seems bland and boring. For all those who wonder why do girls get turned off when a guy is shy, here is your answer.

Nay #5: They rarely make the first move

They rarely make the first move
They rarely make the first move

Want to know why is being shy a turn off in men? Well, for one, because shy men seldom make the first move. While there nothing wrong in a girl taking the lead in asking a man out, it should happen organically. Not because the man is too shy to do it, so it boils down to either the girl making the first move or letting the opportunity slide. This hesitation can also come across as a lack of interest, which can kill the spark.

Is being shy a turn off in men? The answer to the question depends on what you’re seeking. If you want a stable, secure relationship and are willing to do the initial work for it, then dating a shy guy isn’t the worst idea. But if you’re looking for a sweep-me-off-my-feet whirlwind romance, you’re better off not mixing shyness and dating.

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Readers Comments On “Is Being Shy A Turn Off In A Man?”

  1. Shriyaa Trivedi

    Irrespective of the gender, if you are drawn to a shy person, you need to patiently await the moment they feel confident enough to trust themselves with you. They may learn to trust you sooner than they can trust their own feelings when they are around you. When they finally feel comfortable enough, it’ll be worth all the wait.

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