You hyperventilate if she doesn’t answer your text within five minutes. You are always worrying about her safety. You hate it if she is out with the girls. Chances are you are having constant fights with her because she feels you are being clingy. She might have told you that you are exhibiting signs of a clingy boyfriend. You might have been questioning yourself if you are a clingy boyfriend or not. We help you to figure it out. And we will also tell you what it really means when she says ‘you are a clingy boyfriend’.
What does clingy boyfriend mean?
There is a fine balance between being emotionally involved and being clingy. You must look out for the clingy boyfriend signs. One thing you need to understand is that it is not about what you do, it is about how you do it. Attitude is everything. It is normal to want to spend time with your loved one, it is alright to obsess about every details of their lives, it is granted that you are concerned about your lover and show it: but problem arises when it encroaches personal space, making your lover cringe. A clingy boyfriend is someone who prioritises his feelings and insecurities over his partner’s comfort, well being and mental peace. It is what it is: another kind of prison.
10 signs that you are a clingy boyfriend
Being clingy in a relationship, especially at the beginning is normal and sometimes unavoidable. Love is simple, relationships are complicated, and each relationship has an adjustment time. It is easy to notice clingy boyfriend signs. But it is important to differentiate between being emotionally needy and overtly possessive.
1. You don’t understand the meaning of space
She has a life of her own beyond you. She always had it before you came into her life. So just because of you she can’t give up everything that was important to her. She needs the space to aspire and pursue her dreams. Her life and aspirations can’t revolve around you. You can be a part of it, surely. But she needs her space to bloom. If you don’t understand that then you are being a clingy boyfriend.
2. Your feelings come first
A clingy boyfriend is someone who prioritises his feelings and insecurities over his partner’s comfort, well being and mental peace. You tend to build a prison with love.
3. You don’t realise what she wants
Say she is leaving a party late at night, friendly or professional: where you are not invited. You make sure of her safety, offer to drop her home, call her to make sure she reached home safe, tell her to share her live location, or talk to her cab driver and so on, that doesn’t mean you are a clingy boyfriend. But if she assures you that she can handle it or after she explicitly told you she will be fine, then you are a clingy boyfriend who neither understand boundary nor considers her a capable human being.
4. You want to know minute-to-minute updates
It is extremely easy to analyse if you are too clingy. Ask yourself “why”. Why do you want to know where your partner is? Why do you want to know what your partner had for lunch? Why do you feel lost if your partner doesn’t respond to your call or text immediately? These are absolute signs that you are being clingy.
5. You are constantly insecure
Are you really concerned about them or are you insecure about your importance in their lives? You need constant reassurance for your own egotistic sustenance.
Face it: You need to keep a tab on her not for her well being but for your own mental peace. This is a sign of being clingy. You should have better things to do than play Sherlock Holmes on her.
6. If she is with a guy you see green
Come on we are living in the 21st Century. You cannot expect a woman not to interact with a man. It’s inevitable she would have friends from the opposite gender at work, in college and in the neighbourhood. The moment she talks about a guy you see a red flag. This is a sure sign that you are being clingy. Not every man is falling for her and neither is she falling for them. It’s absolutely possible to have healthy relationships with the opposite gender. Don’t you have any?
7. You always feel she doesn’t love you enough
If she forgets that you have to travel two days later on a work trip or isn’t too much bothered about what you ate for breakfast then that does not mean she doesn’t love you. If you keep feeling that she has to ask you and look into every detail of your life, you are making a mistake. It doesn’t happen that way. You are two individuals. When you are sitting in that conference room you also can’t answer her messages. That doesn’t mean you love her any less.
8. You are stalking her on social media and in real-life too
She told you she would take the Uber from her friend’s place home. But you couldn’t help but stand in the opposite footpath and see her getting into the cab. This is not a concern. This is called stalking and it is the greatest sign of clinginess.
If you are going to her social media page a dozen times in a day to check what she is posting and what others are commenting you are being a clingy boyfriend.
9. You are over possessive
She just looked at this passing guy fleetingly and all hell broke loose. Sitting right there at the cafe you started shouting at her “abominable” behaviour. You felt that man was thinking your girl was staring at him. You are that possessive about her. But this possessiveness can spell doom for your relationship.
10. You want to feel like her family
You are not yet her husband you are the boyfriend. So if her parents need medical help she is capable enough to take them to the doctor you don’t have to rush. And neither do you have to give her instructions on which doc to see, what investments to make, what diet to follow at home or what should be the new colours of the wall of her bedroom.
Your suggestions could be welcome but you are not the decision-maker in her life. Better realise that.
Being emotionally needy is alright until your partner starts feeling that you are clingy. Try changing yourself if your partner feels you are breathing down her neck. You wouldn’t want to be known as the clingy boyfriend.
Does being clingy ruin relationships?
No. Not every relationship. Only the ones that are not meant to be. A clingy boyfriend doesn’t need a partner who constantly criticises them for it. In other situations, you can be clingy together and live happily ever after. Just make sure that your clinginess is your responsibility and not your partner’s liability. What ruins a relationship is when one partner forces their habit as a routine to their partner. You can be clingy without setting it as a standard or proof of love.
Being clingy can only affect your relationship when it chokes and suffocates your partner; when your care and concern become their chain and shackle. Remember that it is important to understand your partner’s reception of your nature is important but similarly, it is also important for you to be satisfied. As it is important for you to give your lover space, it is also their duty to let you be yourself.