12 Painful Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You

May 5, 2022 |
Updated On: May 5, 2022
signs he doesn't want a relationship with you
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He leaves your messages unread, he does not pick up hints that you are interested and he fumbles when the word commitment is even whispered in the room. If a guy you like exhibits this unwarranted behavior, please note that these are the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

There are often painful indicators of a guy’s waning interest or a complete lack of it. He may be a playboy who just ambles around looking to fill in a void temporarily or maybe simply scourge for sex. Or, he may be confused and emotionally wrecked to not reciprocate your affection. Either way, the signs he doesn’t want a relationship are often clear. To make sure you don’t keep pumping your emotions into a bottomless vessel, it is for you to be slightly vigilant about them.

12 Signs That Indicate He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You

When he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he will be awkward and ignorant around the topic of exclusivity. Or worse, he might not have much regard for your affection. You may instinctively feel his lack of interest – his complacency will be a pure contrast to your genuine curiosity.

But the instinct may not always work. It isn’t the most reliable love radar, I would say. Thus, we can exercise a little practicality by learning to identify smaller signs and picking up tiny observations. Let us look at a few signs that indicate that he is not interested in having a relationship with you.

1. He texts you only when it is convenient for him

You light up when you see a message from him. You talk for a few minutes. You may feel content now that you have the man’s attention. However, things go stub after that, and silence reigns. He does not text you back and you keep waiting patiently, hoping he would notice your absence. You may feel more disturbed if you see his social media posts and stories. The knowledge that he has been active but ignoring your presence may make you feel miserable.

But he may text again and you may get your dose of attention for the moment. Everything could seem fine again. However, this is a ludicrous cycle and a strong sign that he is not interested in a relationship with you. 

Moreover, if you have been stuck in this equation for a very long time, in which you expect a message and then are left bereft of any attention, you may need to re-evaluate your stance. A man may not delve into meaningful conversations when he does not want a relationship. 

2. He is dating someone else and you are choice no. 2

You cannot be a man’s fallback plan – the second choice. If he is keeping you around as plan B, run. It is a clear sign that he does not want a relationship with you but only keeps you around to not be single. 

In fact, do not look for signs anymore. The guy that you hope to share a gleeful part of life with is out there caring about someone. Such folks do not look out for a relationship but just seek your phone number. I would recommend that you do not even go on a date with him as the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you are very clear.

Related Reading: What To Do If He is Keeping You As A Backup But Never A Priority

3. Only sex talks are signs he doesn’t want a relationship

The man that you like is engaging you in steamy conversations over text and maybe, he has even shown interest in getting intimate. If sex is a recurring subject in your conversations, it is a clear sign he doesn’t want you but simply wants to get physical with you. Whether you also want to have just a sexual relationship is up to you, but then it cannot be treated as a doorway to a meaningful relationship. 

Because, if you keep on giving in to his advances with hopes of something meaningful, you may become part of a dynamic that you did not sign up for. Note that if your connection is restricted to sex or talking about sex, it is a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

4. He checks out mentally when he doesn’t want a relationship

He is lost or checks out mentally are signs he doesn't want you
If he ignores you, he may not want a relationship with you

Is he always on his phone when you are together? Have you had to repeat things to get your point across because he was too busy tapping away on the screen? One of the clear signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore is when he is too aloof. If he is always distracted, it may be clear evidence that you do not matter to him anymore.

For aerobics instructor, Sarah, it took some time to understand her boyfriend, Tim’s ignorance was an actual lack of interest. “We were dating for three years and were very comfortable with one another. When there was nothing to do, we would just lounge together or watch movies. The shared boredom was sweet. However, I realized that he was losing interest when he stayed bored through dates and conversations. His phone was his haven,” she said.

When Sarah broached the topic and tried many ways to revive what she felt was lost, she knew it was the end of their love. “A gradual lack of reciprocation is one of the many signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you,” Sarah rued.  

5. No long-term plans? These are signs he doesn’t want you

When you really like him, your mind may paint rosy pictures of long-term scenarios ahead. For example, you may want him to be your date for a wedding, attend a concert together or even go on nice trips. However, he may skillfully steer clear of committing to any immediate or long-term plans when he doesn’t want a relationship. It also means that there are fundamental issues with commitment – something that is as undesirable as a bad cold.

His lack of excitement at spending elaborate time with you is among the definitive signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. While chasing the guy that you like, you did not certainly sign up to be showered with constant hesitancy. In such a scenario you could be just his means to kill some time and trust me, dear reader, you are far more worthy than that. 

Related Reading: 20 Signs He Is Not Into You – Don’t Waste Your Time!

6. He won’t make the effort to introduce you to his friends 

A man who likes you, as much as you like him, may take unbridled joy in letting you into his comfort zone – even make you meet his friends who know everything about him. It will be important for this guy that you get along with his friends, especially when he has had a long-term picture of your relationship in mind.

On the other hand, when a guy is not serious about you, he may not let you into his life. The lack of introduction to his friends and a complete lack of thought to long-term plans are signs he is not interested in a relationship with you. He may keep you a secret, a separate entity that he plans to discard soon. If you observe these patterns, note that these are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. And, he is not worth your time.

7. He’d be emotionally unavailable when he doesn’t want a relationship

You may have laid bare your emotions to this guy. You have confided in him about the things that keep you awake at night. However, has he opened up to you that way you have to him? When a man is not willing to share his fears and things in life that drive him, it is among the signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

And, when a man is avoiding a relationship, he may keep talking about his feelings and his past in a superficial light. If he has decided to not emotionally invest in you at all, he is never going to talk about his past and the way it shaped him.

A guy could also be emotionally unavailable due to some trauma or an underlying issue. This disconnect is among the clear signs he doesn’t want a relationship at all. You may distance yourself from a person who does not want to open up or is unavailable. 

8. He makes you feel wrong for asking for a relationship

When does a relationship become exclusive? Does it happen naturally or do you have to have the awkward talk, wherein you ask your partner if you are exclusive? If it comes to the latter and he makes you feel that asking for exclusivity is wrong, you can count it among the signs he doesn’t want you.

But every circumstance is different. A man might tell you that he is looking for nothing serious – that might be honest and respectable. But if someone beats around the bush and does not give you a clear answer, that is a bad sign. Perhaps, he is not sure about his feelings for you or maybe he wants to keep you around listlessly. 

You should not be made to feel like you are doing something wrong by asking for exclusivity. If you have been broaching this topic with no speck of success, then it is time that you snap out of dreams of living a life together. The silence on exclusivity and non-acceptance are signs that he does not want a relationship with you. 

Related Reading: 20 Signs You Are Ready To Be In An Exclusive Relationship

9. He is too busy for you when he doesn’t want a relationship

He would rather spend time with his friends or work extra hours than be with you. This is a red flag and a prominent sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

A guy who is into you will make time for you. He will call, ask about you, your friends and your family. He will be involved in your well-being. The lack of effort in this direction is a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

suffering and healing

10. Your plans or time is not his priority 

When he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he will check himself out of your life by gradually discarding the things that are important to you. For instance, he will always be late or have no regard for your plans. Your time may not be essential to him.

A lack of respect coupled with blatant ignorance are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you see these signs festering into your relationship, it is time for you to think about your next step. Because, dear reader, things cannot be simply compromised on one end in a relationship.

11. Signs he doesn’t want a relationship – He is hung up on his ex 

If he is hung up on his past, then the chances of him looking at the future are very slim. A man with unresolved issues or emotional entanglement with their ex will never see the potential in other relationships. The chaos in his mind and his unclear approach to you are signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

If you are dealing with a man who is always talking about his ex and inadvertently comparing you with her, he may still not be over his ex. In such a scenario, do not get too close. Thinking that your emotional support may swing him out of his emotional mess could be a naïve thought. You may be just wasting your time.

12. Paranoia about his phone is a sign he may not want a relationship

I am not saying that you should be snooping on his phone. But if he gets too jittery when you unknowingly peek into his phone or he guards the device with his life, you’re dealing with classic signs he doesn’t want you to get too close.

Given that he may like to stay private or need his space, the panicky vibe is one to watch out for. If he is unable to chalk out his secrets or explain the reason behind them, then it might affect your relationship. The awkwardness and the unwillingness to open up to you are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

There is a certain wisdom in knowing when to leave infatuation or a muddled relationship behind. The longer the unlabeled dating phase extends, the less likely you will be in a healthy and exclusive relationship. Nobody may know what to expect in such circumstances. Also, there is no obligation for you to keep the relationship kindred if the guy is not committing to you. 

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1. Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?

There could be many reasons why he is keeping you around. You could be his buffer or he just expects physical intimacy. Sometimes, guys can be confused and may not even know why they want you around. If you are in such a circumstance, you may want to discuss your relationship with him for clarity. If he is too confused, it is a red flag.

2. Why does he keep texting me if he doesn’t want a relationship?

Some guys will text you when it is convenient for them. They may be bored or listless and may not know you are interested. You may want to drop stronger hints if you like the guy. If he still texts you according to his convenience, then he may not be the right person for you.

3. What do I do if he doesn’t want a relationship?

We cannot enforce our choices on someone. It may hurt you when he does not want a relationship with you. Take your time to get over it. Always believe that there is something better in the store for you.

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