It is easier to perceive and accept when someone falls in love with you, not when they fall out of it. What is falling out of love? How do you read the signs of a relationship coming to an end?
He loves me, he loves me not
It is easier to fall in love as the butterflies blossom in your stomach and you feel the rush of colours flooding your life. All the metaphors and anecdotes you ever came across in the many expressions in literature, cinema, music, paintings and otherwise all seem to have not done the experience of love any justice. Love is a distinct experience of falling and one sooner or later understands the precipice. But what of falling out of love? Often we are so busy in our own emotional journey that we miss out on another’s emotional disconnect. How does one keep account of a partner’s emotions? How do you know that he has fallen out of love? Here are seven rough signs to find out if he is not that into you anymore.
It used to be a situation where he had time for you always and of late it seems like life is chasing him. Yes, there are sections in your life where your professional crisis can drive you to the point of absolute chaos, but it is that very disturbance that makes you crave a source of respite and succour. But if there is a lack of connect, a sense of separation, the disturbance in the relationship only adds to the general stress of life. Of course, do not assume too soon, but if there is a sudden change in his temperament and you sense that he refrains from finding time in his life for you, then it is not just because he is busy, but you are definitely not topping his priority list.
Related reading: Why do single women fall for married men?
2. Less about you
Loving is also trying to locate each other in your individual stories and knowing more about it all. At the beginning of the relationship he was keener on knowing about your life and what was happening than anything else. Starting from a fight at the office to why you were looking blue, it was a source of curiosity for him. But of late, the interest regarding you is less and scooting towards a routine questionnaire and not a genuine intrigue that drives him.
One of the most important parts of a relationship is sharing. And by sharing I don’t mean to say a childlike need to share every bit of chocolate you get or every moment in the day, but an open channel of thoughts and time that two people share because they enjoy the company and process.
I don’t mean to say remembering the anniversary dates, because it just might be him and numbers not having a good relationship, and does not necessarily make a commentary about yours. But memory, as in remembering small things about you your likes and dislikes, things important to you, things that affect you, the smaller nuances of your person. When you lose interest in someone, the love dies slowly.
Related reading: Why both men and women must be generous in sex
5. Alone time
It is important to have an active space of solitude. But when that space starts to engulf the space of a relationship, know that it is a choice – conscious or not – to isolate. In that isolation, it is just not that he is seeking some space for himself, but also retracting from the relationship.
6. Phone – the organ
Well, it is a time we accept the fact that we as human beings have incorporated our cell phones into our body like any other organ. The moment it goes missing from your hand your heart stops like you are about to have an organ failure. In such a cyborg situation when a man is interested, still madly in love, he’d try to reach you via phone one way or the other. Be it a WhatsApp text, a Snapchat snap, a video call or whatever is the new jam, when the communication channels start closing up, know that
it is time to send the relationship for an appraisal.
7. The glitch
It is only the person in the relationship who can sense that something is out of place, because every story is different. It would be impossible to completely formulate the way to track down the fading of a communion, but it is the sixth sense that must be relied upon. You must give yourself some credit and rely on your senses, and you will know that the love is there but the space of exchange is vanishing. It might be time to call it the end.