It might be difficult to figure out what to do when a man distances himself from you. But there are certain signs he will come back after pulling away. These indicators can range from ongoing communication to making an attempt to visit you, indicating a shift in behavior, displaying jealousy or possessiveness, and physical or verbal cues.
Although these indications may seem encouraging, it’s crucial to keep in mind that a change of heart doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationship. Open communication and honesty are still essential for rebuilding a bond. If you’re grappling with questions like “Should I go back to ex?” or “What to do when he pulls away?”, you must plan your next steps carefully and pragmatically.
That said, the shift from seeing the signs of a man pulling away from you to him gravitating back toward you is definitely encouraging if you’re intent on making things work with him. If that’s what his actions seem to convey to you, pay attention to the signs he wants to get back together and then decide your future course of action.
11 Encouraging Signs He Will Come Back After Pulling Away
It can be a living nightmare when a man pulls away, whether physically or emotionally. Your mind is clouded with questions like “Will he come back?”, “Have I lost him for good?”, “Is he already involved with other women?” and whatnot. The uncertainty and fear of not understanding what may be going on in his mind can be overwhelming.
In this situation, it’s natural to want to do whatever you can to bring him back to you and it can make you look for signs he will come back after pulling away. If he has been pulling away from you lately, keep in mind that it does not always spell the end of your relationship. Here are 11 promising signs that he will come back after pulling away:
1. He’s finally communicating why he pulled away
Effective communication is important in every healthy relationship. If he has been upfront and honest with you about his feelings and the reasons for their pulling away, it’s a good sign that he is willing to work through any problems in the relationship. Even if you don’t agree with him, it’s crucial to actively listen and try to comprehend his point of view, especially after a guy pulls away from their relationship.
You can make your partner feel heard and understood by providing a secure and open environment, which may go a long way toward resolving any problems or issues that may have led to him pulling away.
Related Reading: 11 Expert Tips To Communicate Better With Your Partner
2. He’s showing signs of remorse or guilt
If he expresses remorse or guilt for his behavior or the way his decision to distance himself affected you, it’s one of the signs he will come back after pulling away. Some ways he might express remorse or guilt for his actions are:
- Apologizing for his behavior
- Expressing a willingness to work on the relationship
- Attempting to be more present and attentive
- Giving you a chance to express how his actions affected you and accepting your assessment
- Reflecting on his actions and considering a healthier approach for the future
- Changing the way he approaches the relationship
These gestures should be recognized and appreciated because they show that your partner takes accountability in the relationship and is committed to making things better.
3. He wants to bring back quality time
A crucial component of any serious relationship is spending quality time together. If he has recently been making an effort to spend time with you after pulling away, it’s a sign that he still values the relationship and wants to rebuild what has been lost. For instance, you may find him grabbing your hand and saying “stay just a few more minutes” when it’s time to part ways.
Spending time can also include things like making plans for the future, going on dates, or simply spending hours talking and enjoying each other’s company. This indicates that he is definitely not losing interest in you and he wants to come back. You and he may deepen your new relationship and restore any lost intimacy by prioritizing your time together and making an effort to reconnect.
4. He is improving himself for you and the relationship
Improvement, behavioral or otherwise, can be a lifesaving factor for every long-term relationship and does not happen out of thin air. Improvement can act as a rope to help your relationship climb out of the ‘breakup pit’. Just the fact that he is taking steps to better himself is one of the tell-tale signs he will come back after pulling away.
He is prioritizing working on the relationship as well as his own life and rebuilding the love and the lost connection with self-improvement. This could include things like:
- He is going to therapy and working on himself for the betterment of the relationship
- You notice a marked improvement in his communication skills
- You notice behavioral changes and he comes across as an improved man
- He talks about working on things you hate about him
- He is keeping his tone in check, even when you get into an argument
- He talks about being flexible around things you expect from him
Even if these steps are more focused on personal growth, they can still amount to your relationship improving, as he does.
Related Reading: 5 Cute Ways To Improve And Strengthen Your Relationship
5. He still has your belongings
If he still has your belongings, it can indicate that he hasn’t completely closed the door on the relationship and may still have feelings for you. If he hasn’t come to retrieve his things, it could mean that he’s not ready to completely sever the tie between the two of you. Maybe keeping your things is his way of keeping you present in his life while he figures out his feelings and future plans. Or maybe he is planning on using your belongings as a segue to re-enter the relationship.
A research paper published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships says, “Memories reside in our minds and are enhanced through the physical objects we keep.” Note that alternatively, this could also mean that he just might not have found the right time or the right way to ask for his things back or return yours. While this alone may not be the strongest sign he will come back, if you notice it in conjunction with other signs, it definitely counts.
6. He is still in touch with your friends and family
This could be one of the signs he will come back after pulling away and he is waiting for you. When most guys pull themselves away, they generally end all mutual connections. If he is in touch with your friends and family even after the breakup, there is a good chance he is still thinking about you and considering the possibility of getting back together.
You could use this as a golden opportunity to find out the reasons for his pulling away through them. That will help answer the “will he come back” question to some extent. Here are a few additional pointers to keep in mind as you try to gain insight through other people:
- They are likely to be more willing to share information with you if you’re discreet about it
- If they tell you something you don’t want to hear, don’t get defensive
- Show them how much you appreciate their willingness to talk to you about this
- It’s important to understand that they may have their reasons for not reciprocating your effort
- The goal should be to gain more understanding and clarity, but without putting any pressure on the people you are interacting with
7. He reaches out to you and wants to stay friends
An ex who initiates contact and is reaching out to you, whether it’s through phone calls or text messages, sends strong signs you’ll get back together as it can mean he’s still thinking about the relationship. It’s important to pay attention to the content of these messages, as they may be trying to gauge your interest in getting back together. For example, an ex who sends a message saying, “I miss you and I wish we could talk”, may be showing interest in getting back together.
A research study about staying friends with ex-romantic partners mentions, “Finally, an unresolved romantic desire seems to be an intuitive reason why one or both members of the dyad may desire to stay friends. It is possible that one member did not, in fact, want to terminate the relationship and that the opportunity for maintaining some relationship with his or her former partner is preferable to the alternative, especially if there is perceived hope for romantic renewal.”
Related Reading: Everything On How To Be Friends With Your Ex
8. Your ex still remembers special dates
If your ex still sends a message or a gift on special days such as your birthday, just like he did during the early stages of your relationship, then it’s one of the signs he will come back after pulling away. If he not only remembers these special dates but goes out of his way to let you know that he remembers, it can be for one or more of the following reasons:
- It could indicate that your ex still has feelings for you or is attached to you
- It could be a sign that they are trying to maintain a friendship or a connection with you
- It could be a sign that they are trying to come back to you
- It may indicate that they have fond memories of the past relationship and think of you from time to time
- It means that they haven’t forgotten about you, even if they may not be thinking about you every day
- It could mean they are considering getting back together with you
- It could also mean that they have changed in ways that you always wanted them to
9. He still shows up on your social media
In this virtual age of people blocking people on social media first and properly thinking about it later, if you’re still friends with your ex on social media, it can be a subtle indication that he will come back to you. Generally, after pulling away, a person is no longer interested in the other. If your ex is still following you on your social media accounts or liking your posts, it could be a sign that they’re keeping tabs on your life.
It is important to note that their presence on your social media does not necessarily mean that they want to get back together, but it could mean that they’re still interested in how and what you’re doing. It could also be a sign of lingering feelings or unresolved emotions. If this is the case, you may want to take a step back and evaluate if he is showing other signs that he will come back before you ask yourself the question, “Should I go back to my ex?”
10. He’s there for you during your difficult times
This is where your man’s hero instinct kicks in. If your ex is still willing to be there for you during a difficult time, it’s one of the signs your ex is waiting for you because he still cares about you and wants to be there for you. This shows that your ex values you and that you still have a strong connection. However, it’s important to consider if this level of contact is healthy for you and what kind of fundamental support you are looking for from them.
If he’s reaching out and being there for you in your times of need makes you feel good, here are a few ways you can reciprocate:
- Be there for him when he needs you
- Actively hear him out if he wants to talk about his challenges
- Be honest about your setting healthy boundaries and limitations
- Offer support and assistance, if appropriate and within your means
- Consider the potential impact on your well-being before deciding to help
- Communicate clearly and directly to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings
- Remember that ultimately, the decision to help or not is yours, and you should prioritize your well-being
Related Reading: 17 Signs He Still Loves You After The Breakup
11. He reminisces about the good times
He wants to relive a special moment with you whenever you are together, whether it be in the same room, on the phone, in person, or over social media. He’s been reflecting on the good times you two have shared. And he might already be picturing the happy times you two could share if you reconciled.
His reflection on the past could mean any of the following:
- He’s been thinking about the fun times you two have had
- He’s yearning for the past and experiencing nostalgia, and he might wish to relive those joyful times with you
- He could be trying to convey his affection for you and wish for peace by expressing his desire to relive those memories
If you notice any of these characteristics in his words or actions, it might be one of the clear signs your ex is waiting for you.
What To Do When He Comes Back After Pulling Away?
When your significant other starts pulling away, it can be a confusing and stressful time. You may feel hurt, abandoned by this push-pull relationship pattern, and unsure of what to do next. Everybody deals with certain situations in their own ways. Many women get caught up on questions like “what to do when he pulls away”, or maybe you might ponder if the relationship is worth fighting for and if it’s time to go on.
But if your partner eventually comes back after pulling away, it can be a whole other emotional rollercoaster, and then you will be riddled with questions like “Should I go back to my ex?” On one hand, you may feel relieved and happy that he has returned. On the other hand, you may feel hesitant and uncertain about whether or not you can trust them.
So, what to do when a guy pulls away and then comes back? Here are a few steps to consider:
1. Take some time for yourself
Before you even think about reconciling with your partner, it’s important to take some time for yourself. This a tailor-made advice. This is a chance to reflect on your feelings and priorities and to decide what you want in a relationship. During this time, try to focus on self-care and self-love. Do things that bring you joy. This might include:
- Exercising: Focusing on your body and health can help you prioritize your well-being in a relationship better
- Spending time with friends and family: The support of a friend or a family member is what you might need to make your decision
- Pursuing hobbies and interests: Things that make you happy can help you get perspective
- Going for a relaxing vacation: Sometimes all we need is to shut our brain down and enjoy ourselves. A change of pace can help you clear your head, which is a must when you have to help make important decisions
- Meditation: There is nothing more suited to help open your eyes to the things you truly desire in life than meditation
On a similar note, give him some time as well. When he pulls away, do nothing.
2. Communicate with your partner
Once you’ve had some time to process your feelings, it’s important to communicate with your partner about what happened. Through this, he’ll realize his shortcomings and work on them. Although having this starter conversations can be challenging, doing so is essential in moving forward.
During this conversation, try to be honest and open about your feelings. Talk about why your partner pulled away and how it made you feel. Also, let him know what you need to feel loved and supported in the relationship.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
3. Set boundaries
If you decide to give him another chance, it’s important to set clear boundaries in the relationship. This might include setting limits on how much time you spend together or establishing rules about communication and trust. These boundaries can help to create a sense of stability and security in the relationship, and also help you feel more in control.
4. Seek support
Managing a relationship can be difficult, especially if you’re dealing with trust issues or other challenges. It can be helpful to seek support from friends, family, a highly trained relationship coach, or a therapist. A therapist can provide a safe and neutral space to talk about your feelings and work through any issues that may be impacting your relationship. This can be genuinely helpful in developing coping strategies and communication skills that can be useful in the future.
5. Take things slowly
After your man decides to come back, it’s important to take things slowly and not rush into things. This is especially true if you’re feeling hesitant or unsure about the relationship. Don’t make a big deal out of it. This is where you shouldn’t make him feel guilty all the time. Try to focus on building trust and creating a sense of stability in the relationship. This might involve spending more time together and getting to know each other even better than before, or finding ways to show him that you care and support them.
Should I Get Back With My Ex Quiz
Remember, it’s important to take the time to carefully consider all of these factors before deciding on getting back together with your ex. It’s also a good idea to seek the advice of friends, family, or a therapist to help you weigh the pros and cons and make the best decision for yourself. To make the process a tad easier, we bring you this “should I get back with my ex quiz” using which you can address certain underlying questions you need to ask yourself to come to a conclusion:
- Do you have unresolved feelings for your ex? Yes/No
- Do you miss the emotional support and companionship that your ex provided? Yes/No
- Do you feel like you have grown and learned from past mistakes in the relationship? Yes/No
- Is your ex willing to work on their issues and make changes in order to improve the relationship? Yes/No
- Do you have a strong support system of friends and family to help you through the process of getting back together? Yes/No
- Do you feel like getting back together with your ex will be a positive step forward for you, or are you more hesitant and uncertain? Yes/No
- Have you fully addressed any trust issues that may have led to the breakup/separation? Yes/No
- Do you and your ex have a shared vision for the future and compatibility on important issues such as marriage, children, and finances? Yes/No
- Have you taken time to work on yourself and your personal growth since the breakup? Yes/No
- Do you feel like you can communicate effectively and healthily resolve conflicts with your ex? Yes/No
If you’ve answered yes to more than 6 of these questions, you could consider getting back together with your ex. While yeses or nos in a quiz cannot be the only parameter influencing your decision, this “should I get back with my ex quiz” should help you understand your feelings about your ex and the relationship in a better light, which can lead to you making a healthier decision for yourself.
- It’s important to keep in mind that if a man starts to pull away, it’s best to give him space and don’t pressurize him
- If you’re wondering what to do when men pull away, then maintain open lines of communication, set boundaries, and don’t be hesitant to get professional help from a therapist or counselor if necessary
- It’s a strong sign that he wants to repair the relationship if he is open to discussing the issues that led to his withdrawal and is looking for a solution
- Relationships are not always guaranteed to be permanent. Sometimes, it is better to just let go rather than feel overwhelmed
- Sometimes, all he needs is a little break from the relationship to understand his own emotions. If this is your case, then next time when he pulls away, do nothing
In conclusion, several signs could suggest a man who has backed off will turn around. These consist of maintaining contact, making an attempt to visit you, body language, displaying possessiveness or jealousy, expressing regret or remorse, and indicating a behavior change.
For all we know, pulling away could just be his defense mechanism to avoid conflicts. But it’s crucial to keep in mind that these indications are not promises and shouldn’t be used to infer something about someone’s thoughts or intentions. Dealing with a partner who comes back after pulling away can be a challenging experience. It is best to look out for all the signs you’ll get back together and have an honest chat with the person in question if you are unclear about where you stand with them.