You dated for a while and then broke up. Now your ex is suddenly trying to get your attention. You can’t help but wonder if it’s one of the signs your ex is becoming interested again. But you don’t want to misinterpret this one incident and make a fool out of yourself by confronting them about this. It’s best to collect more information on whether or not they want you back by looking out for the specific signs your ex is falling for you again.
Research finds that 40-50% of people have reunited with an ex to restart a relationship. Relationships end and mend all the time. They end when both the parties give up on each other or when one person decides to break it off. On the other hand, relationships mend because either or both the partners have realized that they were happier when they were together.
21 Sure-Shot Signs Your Ex Is Becoming Interested Again
We’ve all been through it. The yelling on the phone that “it’s over!”. Crossing our hearts that we’ll never see their face again. Blocking them everywhere. Deleting their pictures, and other post-breakup exploits. Let’s say your ex has realized that the breakup was one of the stupidest things they ever did. Perhaps that’s why they are trying to get your attention so badly.
Thinking of becoming Bennifer 2.0? Read this before you decide to get back together with your ex like Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. If you don’t know whether or not your ex still has feelings for you, we have compiled a list that will clear all your doubts.
1. Your ex initiates contact
Let’s start from something simple but an obvious one. They were the ones to block you and remove you from their follower/following list. Out of the blue, you receive a follow request from them. They’ve caught you off guard and you can’t help but think that this is one of the signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.
Or they suddenly text you and sound concerned about your well-being. They’ve broken the no contact rule. If you are asking, “My ex is talking to me again now what?”, then know that regardless of their intent behind contacting you, the facts remain the same — They are the ones who initiated contact. You were moving on. They decided to reach out to you and see if you are doing well.
Related Reading: Hope You Are Not Doing These 10 Funny Things After A Breakup
2. They find reasons to connect with you
When they start to text you regularly, it’s one of the signs your ex is becoming interested again. It’s one thing to text once in a while and ask how you’re doing. But they are really considering getting back together when they try to contact you regularly for various reasons. They might say things like:
- “Hey. I was just cleaning the closet and found a couple of your hoodies. Let me know if you want them back. I can come by and return them to you.”
- “Met your friends at the restaurant. I was surprised to see you weren’t there. Hope all is well with you.”
- “I know how much you loved Game Of Thrones. Have you watched House Of The Dragons Yet? It’s mad, isn’t it?”
If they were happy and your ex has moved on, they wouldn’t care about reaching out to you. This move is made to build a conversation with you and lessen the awkwardness between the two of you.
3. They update you about their life
Why would a person who has moved on from you care to update you about what’s going on with them? They are letting you in on what’s happening in their life because of two reasons: They are either trying to make you jealous of their achievements or they are missing you and want you back.
George, a 28-year old real estate agent from Oklahoma, shares with us, “I knew my ex wanted to see me again when she started giving me all the details about her life. She said she started a new business and wanted me to visit her store. What does my ex want from me when she was the one who broke my heart? I ignored her because I wasn’t in the right headspace to reconcile with her.”
4. They are curious about you
It’s one of the signs your ex is still attracted to you when they keep reaching out to find out what’s happening in your life. They will check your social media posts. They will reach out to your friends and family to find out if you’re dating someone new.
If an ex still has feelings or if your ex still loves you, they will reach out to you and ask everything about you. From your dating life to career to your parents’ health. The more questions they ask, the more desperate they are to get back together with you. If those questions seem personal and inquisitive, it’s one of the signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.
5. They show jealousy when you mention someone else
Let’s say your ex runs into you at a mall and you’re there strolling around holding another person’s hand. If they get jealous at the sight of you with someone else, it’s one of the signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it. You see their face turning red. They are controlling their tears and they are fuming inside.
Sometimes, it’s an ego thing. They could also be jealous that you moved on before they could. It is taking forever for them to move on and they think you’ve done it without giving it a second thought. Or they are jealous because you found someone better than them.
Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Ex Is Waiting For You To Come Back
6. They try to make you jealous
On the flip side, it’s one of the signs your ex is still attracted to you when they try to make you jealous. They text you randomly and tell you how good-looking their new partner is or how amazing their partner is in bed. They are bragging about their new partner to your friends and family hoping it will reach you.
Florence, a Bonobology reader from Massachusetts, shares with us, “I don’t know why my ex wants to see me again. He was posting all over his social media that he is in a happy place in life. I think it’s one of the signs my ex is testing me and seeing how I would react to all this. He has even changed his relationship status with his new woman. What does my ex want from me now when he has clearly moved on? I am confused.”
7. Your ex keeps reminiscing about the good times
If your ex keeps bringing up the good old memories where the two of you were madly in love and witnessed some of the happiest times together, then it’s one of the obvious signs your ex is leaving the door open. It’s their way of dropping hints that they miss you and want things to go back to how they were.
Talking about an ex reminiscing about the good times after a breakup, a user on Quora shares, “This happened to me. A year after she broke up with me, she called and asked me about my happiest memories. I simply said that I had many of them but to recall I would also remember the unhappy ones too. She started crying and put the phone down. Later she confessed that she wants to give the relationship a second chance.”
8. They seem to have changed in a good way
If your ex has stopped doing the things that used to annoy you, they are subtly letting you know that they are capable of changing their behavior. For example, if you hated their habit of smoking and now you see them sharing posts on social media about how smoking is bad for you, it’s one of the signs your ex is becoming interested again.
Aidan, a 34-year-old dentist from New York, shares, “Is my ex slowly coming back? We met the other day and he seems to have changed for the better. He has started taking therapy for his personal issues and he even confessed to staying clean for the past three months. It made me really happy and now I just can’t stop thinking about him.”
9. They make their friends spy on you
If any of your ex’s friends have reached out to you and they ask you what you’re up to these days or if they directly jump the gun and enquire about your dating life, it’s one of the signs your ex wants a reaction out of you. They’ve asked their friends to talk to you and find out if you’re still thinking about them. They are expecting you would text your ex and ask why their friends are suddenly interested in your life. This is one of the clear signs they want you to notice them badly.
10. They “accidentally” run into you on purpose
Zaeden, a Bonobology subscriber from California, wrote to us and asked, “Is my ex still interested in me? This is the second time I’ve bumped into her in the last two weeks. I have a feeling she wants to reconcile.”
You’ve dated your ex for two years. They know everything about you. They know your Starbucks order to your favorite restaurant to dine at and they also know what you like to do on weekends. Don’t be surprised if you bump into your ex at any of the places you visit regularly. It’s definitely not an accidental meet-up.
Related Reading: Do Women Give Out Mixed Signals? 10 Common Ways They Do
11. They lean on you for support
This person relied on you for emotional support when the two of you were dating. However, now that you have parted ways, it’s surprising you to see that you’re still the one they are reaching out to when they need emotional support. If you don’t like this behavior, here are some things you can do about it:
- Talk to them about this. Let them know politely that this is no longer appropriate
- Draw boundaries
- Avoid making yourself available for them and their friends
12. They talk about the breakup
Does your ex often revisit the events that led to the breakup? If yes, then it’s one of the signs your ex is leaving the door open. They even admit to you that they have been miserable after the breakup and that they are struggling to piece their life back together. They share gloomy posts on social media about breakups and loss. It’s obvious that she or he regrets hurting you.
13. They imagine what it would be like if the two of you were still together
If an ex still has feelings, the what-ifs and could-have-beens will slowly start creeping into your conversations with them. When they tell you what it could have been like if the two of you were still together, then it’s one of the signs your ex is falling for you again.
Tammy, a waitress from Los Angeles, shares, “Is my ex still interested in me? I feel like they are. They called me the other night and started talking about the things we used to discuss when we were in a relationship. We had planned to get a dog and move in together. They kept asking me what I would have named the dog had we still been together. I hung up on them.”
14. They take accountability for their wrongdoings
This is a serious one. If your ex is suddenly ready to accept their faults and is taking responsibility for their part in the breakup, it’s one of the signs your ex is becoming interested again. It’s one thing to discuss the breakup. However, when they apologize for hurting you, it’s clear that they still care about you and want to reconcile. It’s also one of the positive signs that indicate reconciliation.
Breakup conduct defines a person. It doesn’t matter if you have established a no contact rule or if the two of you have decided to stay friends. What matters is how emotionally equipped both the parties are in a relationship. If you’re the one who caused the hurt that led to the breakup, you better take responsibility for it.
15. They still haven’t taken down your pictures from social media
Deleting or archiving pictures of an ex right after the breakup is usually done out of spite or pain. Some people who are mature do it at a later date when they have healed from the breakup. If they haven’t deleted your pictures even after a year of parting ways, it’s one of the signs your ex is leaving the door open.
When asked on Reddit what it means to not delete pictures of an ex on Instagram, a user replied, “There is definitely something to say about this behavior. They are proud to have dated you, or still value and cherish the time spent. One of the major reasons could also be that they are still not over you.”
Related Reading: The Right Way To Use Power Of Silence After A Breakup
16. They still flirt with you
Are they still drunk texting you and using alcohol as an excuse to flirt with you? It’s one of the signs your ex is falling for you again. Maybe they got drunk and started going through the pictures in their gallery. This prompted them to text you and pour their heart out. Perhaps they still have feelings for you. If you are in the same boat, then flirt back and see if they’re willing to reconcile.
Savannah, a 22-year-old law intern from Los Angeles, shares, “Is my ex slowly coming back? He keeps texting me when he’s drunk. He tries to flirt with me. He also sends flirty snaps. He’s still single. I am seeing someone else, but I am thinking about breaking up with him and getting back together with my ex.”
17. Their body language screams that they still love you
Body language is one of the biggest indicators of someone’s love. It’s the purposeful eye contact, the way they lean toward you while talking, and the way they smile at you. When someone is in love with you, their body language will confess their love before they do. Here are some other body language attraction signs:
- They often touch you
- They take a deep breath every time they see you
- They mirror your body language
- They’re always happy when you’re around
- They always give you their undivided attention
18. They let you know that they are single
When you break up with someone, you don’t care about updating them with your life events. Would you go tell a stranger that you’re single? The moment couples part ways, many of them become strangers again. If your ex, apart from displaying a few of the above signs, is also letting you know that they’re single, it’s one of the sure-shot signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.
19. They ask if you want to meet up
If your ex doesn’t have feelings for you, why are they asking you to meet for coffee and not able to give a legitimate reason for it? It’s because they still love you. You’re all excited to go, but you’re also hesitant. You’ve received their text and can’t help but wonder why they’re so insistent on meeting you.
Some other possible reasons that your ex wants to meet you include:
- They miss you
- They want to return your things
- They want a conversation for closure after the breakup
- They want to flaunt their new life
- They want to make you feel jealous of their new partner
20. They ditch their friends to meet you
Why would your ex ditch their friends to meet you? Because they still love you and want to see if you’re open to giving them another chance. They will casually slip this fact into the conversation and make it seem like it’s not a big deal. Your ex wants a reaction and they’re thinking you would fall for them again after finding out that they prioritized you over everyone else.
Related Reading: 13 Simple Ways To Win A Woman’s Heart
21. They confess that they still love you
Exes can be confusing at times. They’re the ones who initiated the breakup and now they’re the ones admitting their love for you. If you met your ex or if they dropped you a long text explaining that they still love you and want you back, then think about it for a second. Do you want them back? If yes, then go for it. However, if the breakup was ugly and they cheated on you, then you need to give it some more time. Heal from it first before giving them another chance.
How Do You Know Your Ex Wants You Back But Won’t Admit It
Sometimes, we make decisions when we’re not in the right headspace. Perhaps that’s what happened with you and your ex and now you’re wondering if there’s any scope for reconciliation. You’ll know your ex wants you back but won’t admit it when you find them second-guessing the breakup. Some other instances that prove your ex wants you back include:
- Their actions often indicate that they’re thinking of you. Your ex will check up on you on social media and they will subtly let you know that they are not doing well. For example, they share a cryptic post on social media that’s meant for only you to understand and for others to keep guessing
- You have an on/off relationship with your ex and this isn’t the first breakup you’ve had with them
- Both of you decided to part ways in the heat of the moment but you’re regretting it now
- Your ex shows a lot of affection when you’re around
- They’re desperately trying to seek your approval by coming into your good books again
- They’re still in touch with your friends and family members
- If an ex still has feelings for you, they will reach out to you and would still seek you for emotional support
- They will pretend that they need help with something in order to get close to you again
- They will deliberately leave stuff at your place and then ask you if they can drop by to collect it
If you don’t want to give your ex another chance, then you don’t have to. You can honestly tell them that you aren’t interested and wish them good luck in their future endeavors. But if you’re still in love with them and have no issues in getting back together with them, then these signs will be of massive help to you. Make the most of it this time and start cherishing one another.